Why show off. Rose-colored glasses, show-offs and the psychology of boasting

Asked to answer - I'll try.

As I understand it, the question is, why do people boast of the material instead of the spiritual? Well, firstly, the material is easier to show, you bought a car - and everyone sees it, you bought an iPhone - everyone knows it too. Wealth is easier to feign than intelligence, skill, or kindness. To demonstrate material things, you just need to buy them; to demonstrate moral things, you need to cultivate them in yourself.

Secondly, the transition to capitalism is still taking place in our country, capitalism is so conditional, people do not live within their means (which is a true consumer society), but want to reach out to everything that money can buy. When I went to school in the 90s, the coolest was the one who had better things and toys, because in a crisis it wasn’t very good with both, and when you have everything - you are fashionable, interesting, you have more friends. Naturally, children have grown into adults without losing this attitude - if you have a cooler toy, a hundred points ahead on the social ladder.

Thirdly, you will not deny that money makes a person enter more "expensive" places and hangouts, and a demonstration of the attributes of wealth is like a demonstration of a pass to the world of money. At the same time, someone has real wealth, someone has attributes, but there is no wealth, but the impression of wealth can still be created.

Fourth, marketing. Hurry up to buy, just now, buy and become popular with women\find yourself a man\make a child happy, etc. We are not being sold the product itself, we are being sold character traits, love and happiness. From the outside, the assumption that a new phone, perfume, or car will make us happier or better is constantly maintained.

Fifth, professional growth, gaining new knowledge, finding ways for self-realization and creativity can be perceived as a whim, and, funny, they can be perceived as kitsch and show off. Like, he / she reads a lot, goes to courses, does more than if.

Sixth, it looks like the classic Maslow pyramid: first the needs for food and security, then self-realization and acceptance. In a series of crises and falls of the ruble, people concentrate on the material, since it is more important for existence, leaving self-development for later, when more important needs are satisfied. And even though they are actually already satisfied, the anxiety remains, the thought remains that tomorrow another crisis may hit, the ruble will fall by half, imports of MacBooks will be banned due to sanctions, etc. It is difficult to distract from the material when there is a constant sense of the threat of scarcity.

Ponty is a word from the informal lexicon. It means, according to its dictionary definition, expensive and tasteless trinkets, attributes that should emphasize the wealth of its owner, his success and significant position in society. As a rule, people who would like to show themselves in front of others in the best light, which often does not correspond, however, to the true state of things, “throw show-offs”. A person puffs up, swells up to impossibility, emphasizes his advantage over others, as they say, he shows off. This is a fairly common phenomenon that we would like to talk about today.

And really - why are they needed? Meanwhile, if you look closely, you will notice that show-offs surround us literally everywhere.

Schoolchildren walk around with the latest iPhone models, in which they do not use even 1/4 of the available functions. In fact, they only call them, take pictures and play different games.
Average managers buy a prestigious car on credit, for which they have to pay for many years, giving away most of their salary.
Women who cannot imagine life without a real Birkin bag. And God forbid if your colleague finds out that this is a skillful fake.
Diamonds, rings, furs, evening dresses. 50 shoe models.
Lush weddings, for which you have to chip in all the big relatives - but what about? After all, you need to be no worse than people.

This is what is called Ponte. In essence, they are aimed at causing an acute attack of envy in others, flaunting themselves and admiring the reaction produced. Publicly take a thick wad of money out of your pocket, pull a bill out of it and hide the rest back.

And although in conversation we usually laugh at those who "show off", in everyday life it is not so simple. The desire to "throw show off" is extremely contagious. And even if you yourself do not want it, the society around you will persistently dictate its rules and laws to you. So, for example, if a student suddenly does not have that very sophisticated iPhone, he may turn out to be an outcast in his class. he will be considered a sucker and treated accordingly. There are cases when children from underprivileged families were subjected to real harassment - for, as they say, beggarness. But the interesting thing is that even if you suddenly get this most coveted iPhone, you will still have to make a lot of efforts in order to be considered worthy and accepted into the “chosen society”.

Of course, the most common show-offs are in the youth environment. Because it is the young who have to constantly prove their worth in this life, to assert themselves. And manufacturers of relevant goods have learned to make good money on this. However, show-offs are also found in other strata of society. Where in most cases, they are considered to be the constant companions of respectability.

So, for example, a businessman is supposed to drive a solid SUV even in urban areas. Where it not only has no deep meaning, but even creates a lot of problems, for example, with traffic and parking. It is customary to wear an expensive model watch, a business suit from the best fashion designers. In essence, all these attributes are nothing more than show-offs. However, if your financial situation allows it, then there is no problem. By the way, there are show-offs and intangible nature. Sometimes a person wants to seem smarter than he really is, and begins to pronounce memorized phrases, thus trying to attract attention to himself. In this case, they say that he is being clever, but in fact, he is just showing off.

Why are show-offs dangerous?

Yes, show-offs are really expensive. Their main danger lies in the fact that in order to "fit", people often have to get into big debts, take out loans and deny themselves what they really need. And all this solely for the sake of external gloss, ordinary tinsel, which will not make you smarter or kinder. Moreover, you have practically no time left for your development. All your time is spent impressing others, dressing yourself in beautiful packaging. Your self-esteem is dependent on third-party opinions. Actually, show-off, this is exactly the case when a person seeks not to be, but to seem. And it costs him a lot.

Where this phenomenon came from is hard to say. Opponents of show-offs often blame the Western way of life for this. Meanwhile, oddly enough, in the same Western countries it is practically absent. People buy small cars because they are more comfortable and wear the clothes that are most comfortable for them. Very often they sit on bicycles, and SUVs are used exclusively for their intended purpose - to travel on bad roads. Yes, there are also queues for new iPhones. But, firstly, they know how to use them. And, secondly, they can afford them without much stress for their wallet.

Whereas in our country, this phenomenon has taken on the character of an epidemic. Most of our citizens fall into life-credit slavery. And all in order not to look worse than others.

To get rid of show-offs, you need to be a really brave person. After all, for this you need to stop paying attention to what others might say or think about you. If you manage to decide on this, then very soon you will have free money that you can spend with much greater benefit. For example, on their own development and education. And, oddly enough, they will not stop respecting you, quite the contrary.

Of course, one can talk as much as one likes about the prevalence of spiritual values over material ones. And that doesn't convince anyone.

But remember one of the richest people on this planet - the creator and owner of the social network Facebook Mark Zuckerberg. He goes everywhere in ordinary jeans and a simple T-shirt. Well, except for official receptions. And he doesn't care what other people think about it. He can afford it, because even in jeans and a T-shirt he remains himself. He doesn't need to prove anything to anyone. He has already proven everything by creating Facebook and making a fortune on it. He does not need to increase his self-esteem through show-offs - he is fine with it. At the same time, he does not boast of his position, is not rude to the waiters and does not try to humiliate others. For him, there is nothing shameful in taking a ride on a regular subway, and not on an SUV. He just has completely different priorities and life values. And this is his strength.

A truly successful and self-sufficient person is never guided by the opinions of others: he lives his own life and his own goals that are important to him, not to them. And he truly enjoys it. Show-offs do not play any role in his life, and he will never assert himself at the expense of other people. He has his own goals and aspirations, he constantly develops and improves himself, he develops a special type of thinking of a successful person, which differs from the way of thinking of the crowd. At the same time, all external attributes are applied by themselves, but a really successful person never uses them as show-offs, and does not attach significant importance to them. He simply has what he (it is him, and not others!) really needs, and what he can really afford. And his life values are no longer an iPhone, Instagram and a cool car: they are much deeper and more perfect.

In order not to get hooked on the need to show off, you need to get rid of dependence on the opinions of others. And when you don't care what others think of you, you will notice that respect in the eyes of others has not diminished at all, rather the opposite. And if you spend money and time instead of showing off for additional development, after some time you will find that others already have enough reasons to envy you. This path changes thinking and brings it closer ... to the thinking of successful people. Yes, yes, the very ones that many try to appear, but which they are not.

Understand the problem.

If you want to change your perception of the world and become more serious, that is, look at problems not through rose-colored glasses and that your show-offs are justified, then this is already good. Recognizing the problem and agreeing that it exists is already a lot in this situation. Because a person can deny the presence of show-offs and boasting, but really believe that he is an optimist and a realist, while others are simply jealous and pessimists. That is, a person must begin to mature emotionally.

Find real friends.

You need to seek communication with the “right” people, that is, with those who will really help you look at things more broadly and more realistically. However, you must have confidence in these people so that you are more receptive to their words of advice. Therefore, look around and see who you trust and whose advice really once benefited you and separate them from your current ones, who only spend time with you as in a virtual world.

Do not be influenced by show-offs.

People are often so eager to brag that they are willing to spend huge sums of money on the latest model phone or the exact brand of car. Often such things are taken on credit and this is called show-off. A person begins to brag about the thing that, in fact, does not yet belong to him, and several months of loan repayment are still needed.

Therefore, if you see that someone is simply pushing you into a rash purchase, even if not on credit, refuse this agreement. The person who tells you that you can't live without this thing is simply benefiting from the fact that you buy it and nothing more. He doesn't think about your well-being as much as he talks about it.

If you go to the store and you know your tendency to show off, then write a list of what to buy sometimes and buy only what is on the list. So you save money on show-offs by not buying a thing you absolutely do not need.

Go to the store at a time when there are not many buyers so that you do not have a desire to brag about your purchase in front of someone.

Go to the store with a friend who is balanced in this moment and can stop you from making a rash purchase.

Communication with real people is a way to live in the real world. If you spent the whole evening playing games on the computer, then how will you know how your child grows and what problems he has at school. How can you help him solve problems if you don't even know about them?! Therefore, communicate with your family, which will be very happy to have an evening of joint communication and even just watch a movie together, and not your solitary sitting at the computer.

Yes, reading is better than watching TV. Nobody says you shouldn't watch TV. But reading engages the brain more and you just have to analyze what you have learned. The TV, on the other hand, gives out a stream of information that you cannot control, and this stream is one-sided and very powerful.

It is also helpful to find some really good hobby and learn something new. That is, your show-off, what you want to show off, must have at least a reason. However, when you achieve something, you will look at yourself in a completely different way and most likely will be able to present your successes and achievement in the right way, without boasting.

Character.

Tune in a positive way and little by little you will see that you have become more responsible and serious. Your loved ones will definitely notice the change for the better and praise you, so you will definitely know about your emotional growth.

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What are ponies? Not many may know the exact definition, but the approximate one is clear. Even from the name "Ponty - the psychology of boasting" it is already clear a little about what is at stake. But boasting is not a fashionable word, but show-off is fashionable and more famous.

Ponty is an object or action to be shown to impress others, that is, it is a conscious demonstration of one's luxury and well-being.

It can also simply be attributed to defiant and self-confident behavior.

You probably thought so, but did not know how to express it in literary words. Ponty is a new word that spread quickly and you need to know it.
It seems that a person who is showing off lives in rose-colored glasses.
It is worth noting that we all sometimes dream of something unreal, but we do not show it to others, even simply because there is no time to talk about all dreams, but we must live in the real world and time. However, show-off people live like in a fairy tale and try to prove to others that their fairy tale is 100% real.
Of course, someone lives richer and someone poorer. And it seems to the poor that the rich man lives in a fairy tale, especially if he also exposes his life in this way. However, show-off is when a person is inclined to exaggerate his condition, position in society, even if only a little. And the poor person can fall into that hook and begin to set such goals for himself, and having achieved at least a little something, he begins to imagine that he is already the President of the Universe.

Why show off and the meaning of boasting?

It turns out that psychology is what the doctor ordered here. Think simple sunglasses - why would a person wear them? To protect his eyes from the bright sun, that is, reality does not suit him, and he found a solution to the problem and the wave that was necessary and reasonable.
Then it is clear why then show off.

Ponty is a psychological defense against reality.

People do not want to live and see reality because it does not suit them. Sometimes reality is really bad, but sometimes it's not. sometimes a person lives very well both financially and emotionally, but still seeks to escape from reality.

Such people may and want to solve pressing, real problems, but for example, if it didn’t work out once, then they give up and begin to move away from reality. Or they do not know how to solve the problem and do not ask for advice, and therefore, also faced with a kind of hopelessness in reality, they go into their own world, where everything is fine and there are no problems.
Everyone wants to be happy and a person by nature looks for where it is warm and good. And if a person suddenly felt at least some spiritual relief somewhere, then he would definitely go there again.

But everything would be fine if only rose-colored glasses did not have different shapes. There are more harmless rose-colored glasses both for the person himself and for society, but there are also destructive ones that introduce a person into an even more depressive state, which is difficult to get rid of and start living in reality.
Consider 3 types of pink glasses, show-off or the psychology of boasting - call it whatever you want. You probably understood that this is a serious matter, not superficial even in order to see where show-offs and boasting and rose-colored glasses originate.

Types of show-offs and how to remove rose-colored glasses?

"I do not have problems"

This is a more or less safe type of show-off, but of course not without consequences.
Of course, each person can live as he wants and no one has the right to condemn the other. Judge not lest you be judged. Perhaps some individual wants to stand out from the crowd, from the so-called ordinary gray mass, from everyday life and begins to live in his own way, in a different way. It seems that there is no harm either to this person or to society, namely the global one. Although it is possible that a young family who listens to hard rock at full volume until late and will create inconvenience, but if they turn off the music at 23:00, they will not violate the law on silence and there will be no big claims against them.
One side of the rose-colored glasses is "I'm fine, just super and I have no problems." I would like it to be so. It is worth noting here that this is not a statement of a simple optimist who believes in a bright future and does not lose hope. Here we are talking about show-offs, when a person for show, defiantly shows his attitude to reality. And the ruin is, although it can only affect that person, that when problems arise, the person does not solve them, but simply closes his eyes and lives as if nothing is happening.
There are reasons for this. For example, a person has not grown emotionally, that is, the passport age does not match the emotional one. A person seems to already have to think with his head and be more serious and avoid some problems, but he seems to be in childhood. It could also be parenting by domineering, overprotective parents. The child is accustomed to care and if he wants to live on his own, then his parents will immediately tell him that he is still small and he does not need these problems and they will quickly settle everything themselves.
A person, unfortunately, if he does not work on himself and does not build the right relationships with others, even in the person of his parents, then with age this becomes a character trait.
Such people have a show-off in relation to their well-being, external and internal, which in fact does not exist.
For example. A man can have a family. but he is not the head of this family. If he came across a faithful woman who is trying for the family and investing a lot, for example, in raising children, without his participation, then he was just lucky. But he is not a real part of a real family. Such husbands are often indecisive, and give everything into the hands of their wife, hiding behind their employment at work or their character. The wife, in principle, decides all issues herself, not because she wants to, but sometimes she is simply forced to do so. Of course, such families may not have a long continuation. However, the husband boasts more about his children, his wife, than he will do anything real for them. For example, standing with friends in the evening, such a man says that he has a golden wife and already 2 children whom he is raising. But in fact, he probably didn’t even live with his family for some time, but left and his wife with small children of 3 years old lived on her own, and then he just returned. But he does not remember this and does not consider it to be something wrong, but it was simply difficult for him then. And how was the wife with these two children? And now his household chores are sitting at the computer and eating dinner. That is, there is no emotional load on him and he does not even understand this. However, he has show-offs, which he will definitely show and boast. What to do?

1.1. Understand the problem.

It is easier to solve this situation if such a person does not have bad habits.
If you want to change your perception of the world and become more serious, that is, look at problems not through rose-colored glasses and that your show-offs are justified, then this is already good. Recognizing the problem and agreeing that it exists is already a lot in this situation. Because a person can deny the presence of show-offs and boasting, but really believe that he is an optimist and a realist, while others are simply jealous and pessimists.
That is, a person must begin to mature emotionally.

1.2. Find real friends.

May be best friend is your wife who has been spending so many years to save your family and wants to continue living with you because she loves you? Relatives and friends are most likely those with whom it is worth getting close and those who can give direct advice, but to the point and the most practical.

1.3. Do not be influenced by show-offs.

People are often so eager to brag that they are willing to spend huge sums of money on the latest model phone or the exact brand of car. Often such things are taken on credit and are called show-offs. A person begins to brag about the thing that, in fact, does not yet belong to him, and several months of loan repayment are still needed.

People who do not like you encourage you to buy those things that you absolutely do not need, with the money that you do not have.

Be content with what you have and don't take unjustified loans.

If you go to the store and know your tendency to show off, then sometimes write a list of what to buy and buy only what is on the list. So you save money on show-offs by not buying a thing you absolutely do not need.
Go to the store at a time when there are not many buyers so that you do not have a desire to brag about your purchase in front of someone.
Go to the store with a friend who is balanced in this moment and can stop you from making a rash purchase.

1.4. Communication with family.

Communication with real people is a way to live in the real world. If you spent the whole evening playing games on the computer, then how will you know how your child grows and what problems he has at school. How can you help him solve problems if you don't even know about them?! Therefore, communicate with your family, with your wife, who will be very happy to have an evening conversation together and even just watch a movie together, and not your solitary sitting at the computer.

1.5. Reading.

Often those people who read little do not have a broad outlook, which means they are more likely to pretend to be successful. than to be.

It is also helpful to find some really good hobby and learn something new. That is, your show-off, what you want to brag about, must have at least a reason. However, when you achieve something, you will look at yourself in a completely different way and most likely will be able to present your successes and achievement in the right way, without boasting.

1.6. Character.

Develop positive character traits, and not just show off how good you are. It is difficult to work on yourself, but this is the most important thing. You really need to be of value as a person, and not just have a show-off.
Tune in a positive way and little by little you will see that you have become more responsible and serious. Your wife and loved ones will definitely notice the change for the better and praise you, so you will definitely know about your emotional growth.

Alcohol and drugs.

This is a completely different show-off. These show-offs have detrimental consequences much stronger. Faster and not only more tangible.
What is a person trying to hide behind the show-offs of alcohol and drugs? The same as for simple show-offs. Man tries to hide reality from his eyes. A person may have problems, but does not become an overly optimistic person, but begins to escape from reality by getting drunk or even taking drugs.
Such a person, of course, drives himself into a vicious circle, which is why it is written at the beginning of the article that it is much more difficult to fight with this kind of show-off. Such a person may think that he is suffering only and that others, on the contrary, create problems for him and do not allow them to live in peace.
The same is true with drug addicts. However, drugs require a lot of money, so these show-offs are even deeper. For example, a person can drink from a lack of money, although he himself is to blame for this. Of course, there are exceptions. However, among drug addicts, the percentage of those who have a material balance is higher. That is, rich children or adults, for example, have reasons to show off their show-offs, but for some reason they do it this way. What to do?

2.1. Confess to the problem.

This is the same step as in the first case. But here self-criticism should be raised. A person who has gone down a lot will find more reasons to justify it, because confessing to a more serious offense is harder. If you understand your problem, then you need to admit it to yourself first of all. Nobody says you have to go out and scream about it.

2.2. Enlist help.

Of course, you need to work on yourself on your own, but support and help are very important and can be an incentive for you.
Therefore, you need to change the circle of communication. Why do you need so-called friends who do not live in reality themselves?
Is there really no one who appreciates you and wishes you well? Of course have. These are your loved ones, this is your family. But first of all, you have to choose for yourself. You must have self-respect. But love for others is an incentive not to return to the past.
It's hard to break up with friends. Old friends don't want you to change your lifestyle. Because to some extent they themselves want it, but they cannot, therefore they envy your attitude and decisive actions. Don't fall for their tricks.
For example, how "friends" act. They come to visit you, for example, and see you sober. And they begin to offer to relax together on the weekend or even without delay right tonight or now there is a reason and what to use. Familiar scenario?
But you are also not a weak-willed individual. You must firmly say that you will no longer drink alcohol with them. If your “friend” insists, then you can even ask him to leave because you have things to do.

Remember, the first drink is the most dangerous!

Do not go to corporate parties and those campaigns where there will be something that you refused. Don't think that you can relax even a little. Many who really coped with the problem of alcohol abuse, at first, generally abandoned it in any form.
Changing your personality is difficult, so why provoke yourself?

2.3. Professional help.

If you need medical attention, then that's fine. Dependence on alcohol and drugs is very strong and acts on the physical level, and as you know, a person is weak in the flesh. Therefore, the course of treatment will only help you.
Accepting help is not humiliating. On the contrary, it is a strong move.
So, show-off and the psychology of boasting is not an easy topic, as it seems at first glance. If you know a person who does not live in reality, is there anything you can do to help? You do not need to take his life into your own hands, but do not put an end to such a person. If he asks you for help and, alas, you see that he really wants to change, then be a friend not only in joy, but also in sorrow.
There are a lot of show-offs and rose-colored glasses, but there are also enough realists. Therefore, perhaps this article will help someone look at things more realistically and change something in their psychology.

Read helpful articles below.

A huge SUV, a selfie from the beach, a luxurious wedding and a new iPhone earned with your body. Modern rogues are easy to recognize by show-offs. Previously, everyone wanted to live well, but now everyone boasts that they live well.

“She always had some endless (driven into her head by her mother, a former party boss) illusions in her head about how great she should live in the future. It's like a dolce vita with flights from Paris to Milan on private jets, with princes in white limousines and other attributes of low-budget Hollywood fairy-tale films. Spiritless.

Surely you have many such acquaintances, modern rogues who claim the luxurious life of a Hollywood star?

TV, magazines and the Internet have perverted the modern generation. They cannot live like in Hollywood, but imitate the luxurious life of a celebrity. Today's youth is now the main show-off. People indulge in self-importance (SIM) by buying and doing things that they cannot afford or to their detriment.

Expensive car. Office plankton likes to be wealthy people and businessmen. Rogue people buy a huge SUV, a luxury car or a sports car. They take on credit the cars they need to show off and increase their heart rate.

New iPhone. It doesn’t matter how much you earn and where you need to spend money in the first place. Any modern fashionable chick buys an iPhone. She will eat "Doshirak", save the last money, take a loan. Or maybe he will compromise with morality. Among immigrants from eastern countries there is such a fashionable fun. They go to the bathhouse with a group, but before that they buy an iPhone and take the girl who wants to go to the bathhouse. So another chick gets a brand new iPhone, which she “worked out”.

Dear weddings. This is the sin of narrow-minded people from the plebeian strata. They need to show that they are not worse than others. They take loans, borrow from their parents, or spend their last savings on a luxurious wedding. After that, the rogue live from hand to mouth and cannot buy anything for themselves for a long time. But they showed others! Let them envy!

Expensive phones. Who has the most powerful phones? Theoretically, businessmen. But in reality, schoolchildren buy these phones the most. Shkolota begs parents for fancy smartphones just to brag to their friends. Why do you need such an expensive phone? Exclusively for games and show-offs.

Selfie from the beach. If you have not flown to Egypt or Europe for a holiday, then you are a goof. Where are the photos from foreign resorts? Didn't post photos from your vacation on social networks? You are a rogue and a loser. Many girls ride almost all year round on different beaches. Whether they spent their last money or became the keepers of rich dads is another matter.

The trouble of modern rogue

Rogue people are always unhappy, because they have to imitate a luxurious life. They constantly think about how they look from the outside. What will the people around you say? Rogue people take loans, live from hand to mouth, and some sell themselves and their bodies. Rogue people spend all their resources on show-offs, and not on improving life and achieving happiness.

People may not have an apartment, but they buy cars, phones, vouchers, expensive brands. Why these rotten show-offs? A self-sufficient person does not need all this. He does not try to increase his importance by buying things and displaying a luxurious lifestyle.

When a person is at peace with himself, he does not need to prove anything. He is confident. He has other values, goals and dreams.