If a husband looks at other women, it means he is a normal, full-fledged man. And that's good news. But if the husband “stares to the left” constantly, it is possible that he is simply a womanizer.

One way or another, watching how the husband looks at others, the wife experiences unpleasant sensations. Please note that sometimes this behavior can cause irritation and even jealousy.

When a guy looks at other girls, you need to look for the reason not in your rivals, not in the guy, but in yourself. If you think that others are more attractive and sexy, then why would you become the same? And don't count your years. A lady can be desired at any age. The main thing is to take care of your appearance and have harmony inside.

If everything is fine with your personal care and appearance, but your husband continues to stare at you, there is no need to sound the alarm. It is enough to increase your self-esteem. When self-esteem is normal, confidence in your attractiveness appears, acceptance of yourself as you are, and worries about what your boyfriend or husband is doing, looking around, go away. A beautiful lady is focused on herself, she tries to be beautiful for her own sake. By the way, men feel independent and often begin to show increased attention to such a lady.

Question: why a man looks at other women should not worry you. Worry when he looks at one, but constantly. This could mean that he likes her. Some ladies advise observing the habits and actions of their lover to find out what exactly he likes about that person. And also observe the rival herself in order to... copy habits and manners. In our opinion, this is fundamentally wrong. No matter what happens, always remain yourself. If you start trying on other people's manners, it will be noticeable. It will become unpleasant for your spouse to be near his passion and even more pleasant to be near the one he already has his eye on.

It’s better to resort to a fail-safe method - to cause jealousy. By making you jealous, you will check whether your spouse has become indifferent to your person, and also find out the degree of his indifference. If the degree is small, you need to change tactics - do not blame him for indifference, on the contrary - relieve tension, pay more attention and, most importantly, do not demand what he cannot give at the moment.

If the faithful constantly looks at others, psychologists advise self-improvement not only externally, but also internally:

• Read more.
• Have a broad outlook, keep abreast of world events.
• Delve into the meaning of things, learns to have interesting conversations.
• Be interested in what your spouse is interested in. Then you will have something to talk about.

Features of psychology

Why does my husband look at other women? Let's consider a case from psychology related to the question: why does the husband look to the “side”.

One client turned to a psychotherapist with a complaint that her husband, being next to her, constantly looked “to the left.” Moreover, without hesitation, he follows the girls with his eyes and almost breaks his neck. The lady explained that she tried to influence her companion in a variety of ways - scandals, calm explanations, requests not to do this again in her presence, threats to leave forever. The woman was offended; this behavior insulted her.

The next consultation took place in the presence of the spouse. During the conversation, it turned out that he really likes to admire beautiful people (which is absolutely normal). However, subconsciously the partner tried in every possible way to demonstrate this to his passion. Later it turned out that the chosen one very harshly suppressed the desire of her companion to consider potential rivals. He, as a strong man with character, tried to isolate his independence. The means for isolation was that same demonstration. Thus, the chosen one seemed to be declaring that he has the right to be himself and not succumb to change. And, interestingly, he had every right to behave this way.

Psychology proves that the desire to be oneself and resistance to pressure from others (even a significant other) indicates normal self-esteem, as well as a person’s psychological health. And since the instinct to look at beautiful ladies is inherent in any healthy representative of the stronger sex, he defended this aspect of personal freedom.

Strict restraint on the part of a passion means a deep and painful lack of confidence in oneself, in one’s own attractiveness.

And the companion also clearly demonstrates this. In a fit of emotion, we forget about one old and very wise truth - the stronger sex loves women who, first of all, love themselves. Showing jealousy, the chosen one openly says that she is afraid of losing her partner, that she is afraid of being worse than her rivals. Such fear sits deep inside almost every beautiful person and, unfortunately, is difficult to eradicate. For some, the fear of abandonment is so overwhelming that they even ban photos and videos of beauties on the Internet. To get rid of an obsessive state, serious psychotherapeutic work is needed here. In the course of the work, you need to get the patient to realize her attractiveness and self-sufficiency, and also stop thinking that if a man looks at other women, then the relationship is over.

The main recommendation from the psychotherapist is not to scold, not to make claims and reproaches, to perceive what is happening as a little man’s prank, to allow him to do what gives him pleasure. If you don’t let go of the situation, you will stumble upon hidden aggression and lose the trust of your loved one. After all, resisting nature, and even more so trying to fix “problems,” is stupid, to say the least.

There is one great way to turn jealousy into a joke: what if you looked at others together in order to get closer to your partner? What if you yourself turn his gaze to attractive girls, discuss their figure or long legs? This method seems paradoxical and a little crazy, but it works in your favor. This way you remove the veto from the desire of your loved one, and the forbidden fruit loses its value. Naturally, the partner will not stop paying attention to the “rivals”, but there will be no more obvious demonstration and the conflict will be exhausted. If a person knows that he has an understanding and confident companion next to him, he will be drawn to her even more.

How to proceed?

What to do to make your loved one pay more attention to you:

• You can't give yourself completely. Often the reason lies here. The faithful feels permissiveness and takes advantage of the position - becomes selfish, shows coldness towards you. A lady needs to have her own personal space and not let even her loved ones in there.
• In order for personal space to appear, you need to work on yourself: search, be interested, get carried away by things that your spouse is not even aware of. Your partner may not know what exactly you are passionate about, but positive changes will be visible from within. If you also acquire a new environment, and not just engage in hobbies at home, this will give your partner a reason to sometimes think about your personal life.
• Don't try to be constantly in sight of your loved one. Some people think that looming before their eyes means making them think about themselves. No. Vice versa. Even if you want to stick to your sweetheart forever, move away. Let him think about his attitude towards you and at the same time miss you.
• To know how to react to the spontaneous “antics” of your husband, delve into male psychology. When you understand the true reasons for what is happening, it will become much easier for you to respond to any actions.
• Improve yourself and your family relationships. If there is trust, there will be mutual understanding. Therefore, jealousy will go away on its own. Study the psychology of relationships, do not torment yourself with assumptions and inventions, practice a philosophical approach.

Anitata

My husband looks at other women. The thing is, I'm the problem. As soon as I catch his eye on others, I am very rivery, I am not very pleased. It all ends in quarrels and even scandals. Help me, I want to change something, but I don't know how...

Anitata

I'm 20, my husband is 22. We've been married for a year. There were no changes at all. The only thing is that about a year and a half ago, my husband (at that time he was just my boyfriend) started communicating with a girl and hid it from me. When I noticed that he was hiding something, he still didn’t tell the truth, and only a while later he told everything.

Anitata

Almost at the beginning of our relationship. He is very sociable with the opposite sex, he could give a girl a compliment. I made it clear that I was not pleased. Now he is staring and trying to hide it from me. But the thing is that it blows my mind when he just listens to the girl and looks at her. I don’t know what to do anymore. I'm afraid that maybe she seems better to him than me, and what if he leaves me, what if he cheats on me, what if he's lying...

Anitata

I will lose the person I love, who means a lot to me. Yes, and it will be very disappointing, after all, we’ve been together for almost 4 years

Anitata

No, but it will probably be hard for me without him. I’m also afraid that he will cheat, and I won’t know it.
He recently told me that he only needs me, and only likes me. But he really likes the female body. And so he looks. I can’t come to terms with the fact that I feel ugly and unattractive when he looks at others.
I understand that, in principle, it’s okay if we break up, but if we don’t break up, then living and watching him look out for beautiful figures, etc. is very sad and unpleasant

It’s a shame to watch him glance “to the left” or not take his eyes off someone. I understand that I need to change something IN MYSELF and my attitude, but I don’t know how...

Anitata

Yes. He said that he wants to do what is convenient for him. He said that he simply doesn’t stare, he only looks at the girl when talking, but it’s clear that he is STARING. I told him more than once that I was not pleased, to the point of tears, but he doesn’t care at all

When I don’t say anything to him about this, then everything is fine, he seems to treat me normally, but when I do, we quarrel...

You understand that you can only convey your request to the other person, and whether to fulfill it or not is his decision.
Perhaps your feelings are that you feel that he is capable of cheating on you
Perhaps these experiences grow out of your lack of self-confidence.
How do you rate yourself?

Anitata

Probably not very much. I could be much better, and he wants me to change a little externally for the better. Moreover, the fact that he looks at others makes me understand that I am not super, far from super..

Anitata

Monitors, but not to such a level that there are cubes). Yes, I know that I need to work on my appearance. But my question remains open. I don't know what to do.

Question for a psychologist:

Hello, I have known my boyfriend for more than 2 years, we have been dating for almost 2 years, we started living together a couple of months ago. I’m 19 years old, he’s 23. And the crux of the matter is, I knew that he watched obscene videos anyway, and it didn’t bother me before. But now that we live together, I have full access to everything, including his computer. And one day I went into my browser history to find the link where I was watching the show and what I saw. The young man looked at photographs of naked women, and these were not beauties from the covers, but perversion, photographs of older pregnant women, or simply women of about 30, but not those who have toned figures, maybe not beautiful, but who have hanging fat , hair is not involved, etc. Well, I didn’t pay attention, I thought, well, I watched it once, it was interesting and okay. But then I decided to check if he went anywhere else and it turned out he went and looked at the same women again, in total this happened 5 times, well, on different days, respectively. And now I decided to look again where he went, and now these are obscene videos, I don’t know what content, but this is not so important. And the point is, let him look on his own, or look together, but he opens them when I’m not around, went to the store, went to the kitchen to cook, when I’m walking, and as soon as he sees, or rather hears, that I’m going to room, he closes the tabs, and starts either scrolling through the VKontakte site, or watching a series, cartoon, etc., which was what was turned on before. As for sex life, in my opinion everything is fine, we ask each other what we would like to change or add, sex is basically regular, I myself can take the initiative, if necessary, there are intervals of a day or two, but this is rare , and it doesn't bother me. I can’t say that my appearance is amazing, but I think I’m pretty, my figure is good, I’m not fat, I need to tighten everything up. As for any parties, this is very rare, or most often in such cases we are together, and in the evenings at home. And this is the essence of my question, why is the young man hiding this? Why is he watching this? And should I, well, maybe lead the conversation in this direction, offer to watch it together? Obviously, I won’t say that I seem to be following him in this way, but how can I just start this topic? Thanks in advance for your answer. I hope you can give me some advice.

Psychologist Olga Petrovna Yagudina answers the question.

Diana, good afternoon!

As I understand it, you are concerned about whether it is normal for your boyfriend to look at naked older women, and whether this threatens your relationship with him?

I will answer this question, but this is not where I want to start. View other people's links, phone numbers and social pages. networks are a violation of boundaries and privacy of personal space. You are violating his rights. You do not respect him. Would you like him to do the same to you? If you start this habit in your family, you will be disappointed in your partner every time, and there will be no trust in the relationship. Everyone has the right to privacy of personal space. You should discuss this issue with your young family. He trusts you, but you are disingenuous.

If you accidentally stumbled upon it and didn’t want to look, then tell him about your feelings about this: it was unpleasant for me, I ask you to close such pages if you happen to be looking at them. Then we can talk about what he likes about these pictures. It's better to discuss all this. If there is trust between partners, then such discussions will only bring you closer. You are ready for this and, as you write, you have this level of trust and openness with each other. This indicates that you have a healthy relationship. Therefore, there is no need to worry about them. No internet girl can take a man away from his beloved who is nearby. And you can have any hobbies in sex, as long as you both like it. Listen to yourself, and if there is internal dissatisfaction, tell him about it, there is no need to humiliate yourself, but you also need to hear your partner.

Every woman dreams that her beloved man will look only at her, and not shoot his eyes left and right in search of pretty girls.

It’s a shame when a spouse walking next to you eagerly looks at a beauty walking towards you, or a husband who came with his wife to a party begins to flirt with other ladies. It's time to figure out why this happens and how to behave in such situations.

Why do men like to look at women?

The desire to admire female beauty is deeply embedded in the mind of a man by nature itself. Once upon a time, their ancestors did not know what love and loyalty were; they tended to hunt for representatives of the opposite sex. The ability to feel and desire one single lady came later, but the hunter's instinct remained.

Psychologists say: if a man looks at other women, it means he is healthy. Interest in other women is an indicator of normal levels of male hormones.

If a woman is worried about this, then most likely she suffers from low self-esteem and an increased feeling of jealousy. It turns out that it is not your husband who needs to be treated, but you.

Analyze your behavior. Have you ever admired a handsome athlete, actor or TV presenter? Don't you really admire superbly built guys with a charming smile and an attractive look on the streets? However, you return to your beloved husband and do not think about those who had the fate of being only a short episode.

Don’t even think that you are somehow worse than other women! It is impossible that you have never caught the gaze of men walking next to beautiful ladies. All men tend to admire girls, only some do it openly, while others do it secretly, for fear of causing indignation or a scene of jealousy.

How to behave if you notice that a man’s attention is drawn to another woman?

First of all, it is necessary to eliminate panic and do your best to restrain yourself from open indignation and discontent. Think soberly: a man admires not just one woman in particular, but female beauty in general. You don’t get jealous watching your loved one admire the splendor of flowers, the perfection of sculptures or beautiful paintings. It would hardly occur to you to be upset if you notice your spouse’s interest in a famous singer or actress.

Do not be afraid of potential rivals and do not try to close the eyes of your beloved man with dissatisfaction and grievances. Learn to admire female beauty with him, and then he will not furtively glance at women passing by. From time to time, draw your spouse’s attention to beautiful girls, tell him: “Look, what a pretty girl,” and soon you yourself will understand that these glances are nothing more than a second’s attention. Within a moment, the men do not remember who passed by them. They can’t even answer the question: did the blonde or brunette spark immediate interest?

For a man in love, the sweet face and perfect figure of another woman is a beautiful picture to look at. The birth of feelings is difficult to explain, but it has long been known that they appear not only for dazzling beauties. If you constantly nag your husband about his “indecent” behavior and force him to compare himself with another lady, even the most ardent love can fade away.

What should you do if your husband starts paying attention to another lady in company?

In this situation, it is also extremely important to restrain emotions and not pour a mixture of boiling jealousy and wounding fragments of resentment on your spouse’s head. The other extreme - actively winning the attention of other men - may also not bring the expected result - such a woman looks ridiculous, but from the outside it is not difficult to guess what exactly made her change her behavior.

Correct tactics - natural behavior. Knowing the characteristics of your beloved man, try to get ahead of his actions. Immediately start communicating with friends, chat with acquaintances, dance and have fun. If you notice that your loved one spends too much time next to one woman, approach him with a smile on your face, kiss him on the cheek, and ask if he has lost you.

How to tell a man about your worries?

All women are different, if you are very sensitive to men's views on the side, then you will have to tell your lover about it. It is best to do this not at the moment when the spouse’s attention is absorbed by the beauty of another passerby, but in a calm atmosphere. Of course, for confession it is better to choose a moment when the man is not busy watching a movie or a football match.

Try telling your husband: “Darling, I love you so much that I go crazy and get very upset when you look at other women in front of me. I know that I am alone with you, and they are just passing passers-by. But could you, walking next to me, look only at me?! " You can approach it a little differently and start the conversation like this: “Darling, I have one big request for you.” And then also ask your spouse not to look at the surrounding ladies.

If it is difficult to start such a conversation, then you can use other tactics. While walking down the street, pay your husband’s attention to how another man walking next to a woman looks at the girls passing by. Tell your companion: “He goes with one lady, but looks at everyone with a hungry look.” It is possible that the spouse will understand this hint and think about his actions.

Most men do not even suspect that their beloved women are tormenting themselves with doubts and suffering about this. Having heard such requests from their wives, they begin to comprehend the situation and control their behavior.