Self-control in our time is a rare and valuable quality that fewer people possess. Few people manage to maintain their calmness in everyday life with its rapid pace and constant stress. This applies equally to adults and children, and especially teenagers. Of course, adolescence has a lot of advantages over the rest, but it also brings its own problems and emotions, which not everyone can cope with.

And learn to overcome the difficulties and problems that you have to face in life? How to maintain peace of mind and learn to make the right decisions?

First of all, you need to take care of your self-control And self-discipline. It’s not easy, but once you learn how to manage your emotions, everything will start to turn out much easier for you. If you find yourself in a situation where you are literally overwhelmed with such strong emotions as anger, irritability, and even anger, try doing one simple exercise. Mentally imagine that everything that happens is paused. The next step is to take ten deep breaths. If this does not help you, count to ten and take a few vigorous breaths. This exercise, despite its simplicity, will allow you to control your negative feelings and prevent your emotions from upsetting the delicate balance of the world around you.

It is very difficult to deal with such a phenomenon as irritability, especially in cases where by nature you are endowed with a choleric temperament. However, man, unlike animals, is endowed with consciousness, which should help him control his feelings and emotions. As you know, they recommend, on the contrary, to give vent to each of their emotions, but it can be objected that the signs of upbringing and civilization are precisely self-control, thanks to which a person can control his behavior.

Of course, you can't keep everything to yourself. Just being among other people, try to maintain your moral face, and give a splash of emotions when you are alone with yourself and this cannot harm the people around you.

Never become isolated in your problems, experiencing each unsuccessful situation for you an infinite number of times. This path leads to melancholy, and this can only harm you.

How to become less emotional if the situation is not the most favorable for you? Find yourself some distraction to do. What it will be is absolutely unimportant, the main thing is that your mind stops thinking about problems. It may not be possible to get rid of emotions in this way right away, but do not be discouraged and persevere, then it will become much easier for you.

The best way to deal with any negative emotions is to engage in active activities. This will help you not only keep your body in shape, but also distract your mind from problems, so you can forget about all your problems.

The type of sport does not matter. The main thing is that he requires you to return a large amount. It could be running, rowing, boxing or swimming. Fully giving all the best physically, you will give yourself a wonderful emotional discharge, getting rid of anger, hatred, misunderstanding.

When you feel that your body is at the limit of its capabilities, know that all the negative from you has already gone and it's time to start filling your soul with positivity.

In order to become less emotional, other techniques can be applied, with the help of which not only your body but also your soul receives. Start reading more, visit exhibitions, museums and concerts, take walks in nature.

When you find yourself in a difficult situation, because of which you want to give free rein to your feelings, think about the fact that right now, right at this moment, somewhere there is a person who is much worse off than you. Replace your destructive feelings with others, such as sympathy and mercy for those whose lives are more unhappy than yours.

Self-control in our time is a rare and valuable quality that not every person owns. Few people manage to maintain their calmness in everyday life with its rapid pace and constant stress. How become emotionally stronger and learn to overcome difficulties without experiencing nervous tension? Let's talk about it in our today's article.

How to become emotionally stronger?

Changing one's perceptions and certainty can help in developing emotional resilience. Everyone has problems, it is inevitable, how we react to them and act, distinguishes us from each other.

Pay attention to the following tips, we hope they will help you become emotionally stronger:

1. Try a breathing exercise

If you find yourself in a situation where you are literally overwhelmed with emotions such as anger, irritability, and even anger, try doing one simple exercise. Mentally imagine that everything that happens is paused and take ten deep breaths. Such a simple exercise will allow you to control.

Try to focus not on the problem itself, but on new opportunities. Try to take advantage of any situation.

3. Build fortitude and motivate yourself

Strength of mind is the ability to adapt to difficulties. After you've been through pain or pain, the next step is recovery and moving forward.

Improve your skills, develop action plans and, of course, carry them out. Look positively at your goals and don't let momentary impulses make you give up on your dreams.

Any goal can be achieved if you do not stop moving towards it, step by step.

4. Learn to accept mistakes and failures

Understand we can't control everything and Mistakes are also part of our learning and self-improvement..

Surely you are familiar with the saying: "who does not take risks, he does not drink champagne."

If you are not prepared to fail, you will not be able to become emotionally stronger. Learn to accept criticism. Do not let unexpected events take over and remember that in everything “bad” that happens to you, you can always find something good, the main thing is to see it.

Try again and again until you get the desired result. You must give yourself permission to .

It remains to add only one more well-known phrase: "the one who does nothing is not mistaken."

5. Ignore negative people

Relatives, friends, acquaintances and employees - every day we communicate with different people, but we can’t even imagine how strong their influence on our lives can be.

Remember one simple rule: you cannot live positively surrounded by negative people. Communication with them deprives of strength and energy, charges with the same negative attitude.

Never let their negativity affect your life. The limits of your possibilities are not determined by other people's opinions. Just set a goal and work to achieve it. It's better to ignore such people.

6. Find some distraction to do.

How to become emotionally stronger if the situation is not the most favorable for you? Find some distraction for yourself. Start reading more, visit exhibitions, museums and concerts, spend more time outdoors.

7. Exercise

Sports activities help to get rid of negative emotions and direct them in the right direction.

During active physical activity, the release of endorphins that uplift and energize with positivity. The type of sport does not matter. It could be running, rowing, boxing or swimming. The main thing is that it requires you to return a large amount of energy.

In order to become emotionally stronger, you need to constantly engage in self-development. There is no universal remedy that would help to cope with irritability. Take control of your emotions, start practicing meditation and learn to enjoy the little things. After all, a sincere smile and a feeling of happiness are the most effective tools in the fight against negative emotions.

To begin with, it is important to understand that experiencing emotions is not only normal, but also right. It is a common misconception that emotional stability is the complete suppression of emotions. In fact, on the contrary, the key to emotional stability is

It is the ability of a person to experience the full range of emotions. If we know how to distinguish emotions, are familiar with how we react to them, we can manage them. Often we load ourselves with work so as not to think about the problem, or completely deny its existence, get distracted by alcohol and food - suppression of emotions provides temporary relief, but in the end leads to big troubles. There is no need to be ashamed of your irritation or euphoria, it is important to learn how to control emotions, accept new experience and not be afraid of uncertainty and unexpected situations.

How to develop emotional resilience

Learn to self-observe. Self-observation is useful for avoiding automatic responses in stressful situations when emotions get out of control. We are embarrassed - the face is filled with paint, we are excited - the voice trembles, goes astray

breath, we are offended - there is a lump in the throat. Focus on these feelings and you will be better able to control your growing anxiety or anger. To pull yourself together, sometimes it’s enough just to shift your attention from a stressful situation to reactions.

organism.

Patterns are formed in the brain to respond to certain emotional experiences, each time it instantly activates these patterns when a stimulus, such as anxiety or anger, appears. Focusing on the present destroys the old

response model and forms a new one.

Take care of your physical condition. It is important to remember about bodily development, often it is poor health that causes emotional instability. If you don't have time for regular exercise, you can start small:

Accustom yourself to morning exercises or, conversely, walk for at least an hour before bedtime;

Learn to breathe deeply. In stressful situations, breathe slowly and deeply, focus on how long each inhalation and exhalation takes;

Smile more often. Use all the muscles of the face, and not just the muscles around the mouth, the mood will automatically improve, cheerfulness and self-confidence will appear.

Learn to recognize cognitive distortions. The main characteristic of cognitive distortions is the lack of objectivity. Emotions get out of control, and you are no longer able to think rationally:

Don't take everything as a disaster, don't blow a minor incident into a huge one;

Don't generalize, treat each situation as unique.

Give up perfectionism. You make unrealistic demands on yourself and are unable to take constructive criticism, which can lead to depression.

mood, feelings of helplessness and worthlessness.

Don't think about the same things. Such rumination is a common reaction to negative emotions, especially anger or sadness. Constantly replaying the same thoughts in your head, thinking about how it would be better to do it, an endless fictional dialogue with the offender is a negative thinking trap that, sooner or later, can lead to depression and stress.

Resolve specific issues. In stressful situations, we often ask abstract, intractable questions: “Why does this always happen to me?” or “Why am I so unlucky?” Instead, focus on finding a solution

specific tasks. For example, you did not pass the interview for the desired position. Instead of useless reflections on the unfairness of life, identify your weaknesses

Learn to be comfortable with uncertainty. Uncertainty is inevitable in everyone's life. Those who accept this as a given experience much less anxiety. If it is impossible to calculate everything, isn't it easier to relax?

Take any situation as a valuable experience and even benefit from an unfortunate set of circumstances.

Be open. Openness is the ability to receive and assimilate new experience. Without openness, you will not be able to fully enjoy feelings that have an element of uncertainty, such as trust and love.

Talk about your feelings to other people, share your worries and fears, do not be afraid to clarify incomprehensible situations, and at the same time, learn to be grateful and try to accept other people's shortcomings without judgment and unnecessary resentment.

Hello dear readers! One of the secrets of a successful person is the ability to control their emotions and use them to their advantage. Today I want to offer you useful advice from psychologists: how to become emotionally stable. By following just a few simple rules, you can learn to control yourself in any situation, get to know yourself better and learn about good habits.

Introspection

The first thing you should start with is self-observation and self-knowledge. A person who is well versed in himself understands others better, reacts more adequately to other people's emotions, knows how to predict other people's reactions and is in harmony with himself and the world around him.

To begin with, I suggest that you study your reactions. To various situations, to stress, to the words and actions of others, and so on. You can get a notebook that you will always have at hand and in which you will write down your behavior patterns in a given situation.

Do not try to understand everything at once, solve and find a way out. Just watch and record.

Now your task is to collect enough information about yourself. When you feel that you can begin to analyze your emotions, then proceed to the next step.

Every evening, reread your notes and analyze them. Try to look at the situation from the outside and think about how you could have acted differently, what pushed you to that emotion that you experienced, what pisses you off, and what does not touch you at all.

After you learn to track your emotions, find the reason for your reaction, then you can start working on yourself in other directions.

Take care of your physical condition

The physical condition of a person is very important for controlling emotions. Have you noticed that with an inadequate reaction, redness on the face may appear, the heart begins to pound furiously, a lump appears in the throat that makes it difficult to speak, and so on?

We all know that exercise is good. But we rarely follow this knowledge. Try to start with something light and simple.

First, find a breathing technique that suits you. When you feel that you are going to lose your temper, or are in a stressful situation, then start breathing. Deep breathing allows you to calm down, gives you time to think and does not allow you to splash out the first reaction that can spoil the situation.

Don't be afraid to look stupid. If you think you're going to look ridiculous while you're thinking about the situation, calm down. The person who did it without thinking will look stupid.

Another helpful tip is to smile. Children laugh a hundred times more often than adults and this is their undoubted advantage. Smiling not only attracts others, but also helps you to improve your mood.

Try changing your daily routine. If you go to bed late and barely get yourself out of bed in the morning, then conduct an experiment. One month go to bed early and get up at six in the morning. See if your physical condition changes. Then it's up to you to decide whether to stick to such a schedule or not.

Go in for sports. Absolutely anyone. Charging in the morning, running, yoga, boxing, dancing. The main thing is that your body develops. No wonder they say: a healthy mind in a healthy body. Try to feel it for yourself.

Creating the desired behavior

If you are controlled by emotions, then there is nothing to worry about. You just need to take them under your own control and learn how to direct where you yourself want it.

Try to adapt to the situation. When something happens, take your time. Stop and think. Analyze the situation itself, your possible reactions (after all, you have a notebook in which you keep notes), find the most suitable option and then act.

Focus on one event, do not try to cover everything around at once.

Cultivate new habits. If you do not know how to communicate or are afraid to get acquainted first, then start acting differently than usual. Of course, at the very beginning it will be terribly awkward, difficult and incomprehensible to you. But it is through overcoming oneself that one can learn something new.

Read as much literature as possible. Not only for the sake of the plot, but for the sake of analyzing the actions of the characters. Learn from someone else's experience. Do not repeat those mistakes that can be avoided. The collection of parables by Pezeshkian " Merchant and parrot". Also deal with the actions of others. Start analyzing their behavior and reactions.

Be open to everything new. Become an absorbent sponge. Everything you don't need will fall off on its own. A person does not save techniques that are useless for himself, models of behavior.

Changing yourself is not easy. Here you will need both willpower and motivation. I highly recommend that you read the article "".

We hone our skills in practice

We come to the most complex and interesting. When you learn to recognize your reactions, find annoying factors, instill new habits in yourself, learn to control your emotions, then a new task arises before you, which will show how far you have progressed. Practice!

To do this, you need to put yourself in conditions that will definitely piss you off. Perhaps you have a familiar person with whom it is extremely difficult for you to communicate, or you know a situation in which you will definitely be confused and will not be able to behave competently. These are the things that help you understand how well you control yourself.

One of my clients went long and hard on the path of controlling her emotionality. For two and a half years, she managed to become a completely calm, self-confident woman. She coped well with stressful situations, easily found solutions and easily communicated with others without negative emotions and reactions. But this woman has one distant relative.

Communication between them has always been difficult and mostly unpleasant. And then, out of the blue, this man showed up in the life of my client. When she told me about their meeting, we both realized that she was not yet fully able to control herself and react as she would like. This man pissed her off twice.

If you are facing similar problems, don't worry. It only teaches you something new. Other people will always influence you, your task is to learn how to cope with this influence and direct it in the right direction.

Tell us about your situation. What steps have you already taken? How do you learn to control yourself? What helps you and what hinders you?

I wish you patience and perseverance. Be confident in yourself and your abilities. Then you will definitely succeed!

Over-emotionality is a quick reaction to feelings such as anger, sadness, and fear when a person does not allow the mind to intervene in a situation. If you are overly emotional, then most likely your connection with your own emotions is not always constructive. But you need to listen to your emotions in a way that will benefit you, not harm.

Steps

Part 1

Practice breathing techniques. Breathing will help you calm down when you feel strong emotions such as rage, endless tears, or deep disappointment. If you feel overwhelmed by emotional tension, pause to focus on your breathing. Breathing techniques can help you manage your emotions more effectively and deal with intense feelings better. You may have noticed that when you experience strong emotions, the feeling of yourself and your own body eludes you. Breathing will help you move back into your own body, to the present moment.

Learn to react differently. If you're trying to deal with unpleasant emotions but find it difficult to distance yourself from the situation, try a different approach. You may not be able to eliminate the emotional experience, but you can deal with it more effectively. For example, if you're trying to deal with anger but still feel angry after you've distanced yourself from the situation, try drawing, coloring, or doing some exercise.

• Try to distract yourself with music or a walk. Play with your pet, read a book or work in the garden.

1. Use a stress diary. During the day, write in a diary about stressors, how you deal with them, how you react to them. Analyze which events you responded well to, and which ones were more difficult for you. Find ways to consistently deal with emotions that will help you quickly move away from them.

   • A diary will help you keep track of which methods work well, which situations trigger strong emotional reactions, and how you handle each situation.

2. Change the situation. If you are constantly disappointed in yourself or your abilities, change your expectations. Perhaps you are a perfectionist and think that if something is not 100% done, then it should not be shared with other people. Especially if you have tight deadlines, there is nothing wrong with adjusting the situation to better manage your own emotions. For example, you might say to yourself, “Even though my project is not 100% perfect, I am proud of it and know that I did a good job.”

   • If you tend to have high ideas and expectations, start changing how you achieve them. You can, for example, ask for help from other people or choose a lower, but achievable goal.

3. Remind yourself that feelings have power but are not always “truth”. Of course, you can feel your feelings, but remember that feeling is not the same as truth. The same goes for thoughts. When you want to react to something, remind yourself that you may not have all the information yet, and thoughts and feelings may change.

Part 3

Ask before judging. You may be jumping to conclusions instead of collecting all the information first. Instead of jumping to conclusions, wait until you have all the information. And while you're gathering information, don't plan your next move if you're in a quarrel. Ask questions and seek to understand the whole situation before judging or exposing yourself emotionally.

• If you're angry because your partner is late, don't jump to conclusions about why he might be late. It is better to calmly ask what happened, but without condemnation and accusations.

1. Do not react to emotional outbursts. If someone reacts very emotionally in a quarrel, you should not respond with such a reaction. Better practice your active listening skills. Reacting to the other person's strong emotions is likely to escalate the situation and do nothing to help resolve the problem.

   • For example, if your interlocutor is angry and tries to offend you with verbal attacks, you should not go straight to the defense. It is better to listen to the person, try to understand his thoughts and feelings, ask questions and answer calmly.

2. Use sentences with "I". When you blame a person, you automatically put them on the defensive, which can lead to conflict. In addition, in this case, your interlocutor will be more inclined to accuse you of something in return. Take responsibility for your own emotions and express them without blaming others. When you take responsibility for your own emotions, you gain control over them.

   • Instead of blaming the person by saying, “You didn't show up and let me down again! What an idiot you are!” say, “I felt hurt and abandoned because you didn’t show up this evening. And I didn't understand why you didn't tell me you weren't coming."

Part 4

1. Define emotions. It is necessary to know how you feel so that you can respond appropriately to each emotion. Start thinking about what feelings arise in your body when you notice a certain emotion appear. For example, if you are feeling angry, you may notice your breathing quicken, your muscles tighten, or your face turn red.