Society unconsciously establishes rules of behavior that will be considered the norm. They depend on many factors: population, era, political, economic regime, and so on. All attempts to interact outside the established framework are perceived negatively. There is a special section devoted to interpersonal contacts - this is the psychology of communication with people. It is dedicated to the basic norms of different types of communication, helps to solve problems related to communication.

Rules of communication (communication) of a person with other people

In psychology, communication is a way to exchange information according to certain rules adopted in society. These rules are basic, they work in any team, be it a friendly meeting, a social event or a work environment. This is the basis of interpersonal interaction.

1. visual contact.

Problem: due to shyness, guilt, negativity, when talking, a person deliberately looks around, under his feet, or looks at the ceiling.

Solution: Make eye contact while looking at the other person. This helps to create a warm, trusting atmosphere of conversation. The interlocutors better feel the mood of each other, the conversation becomes easier.

1. Speech without superfluous words that do not carry a semantic load.

Solution: repeated interjections and buzzwords draw attention to themselves. The interlocutor loses the essence of the conversation, involuntarily concentrating on frequent words. The more varied the speech, the more comfortable it is to talk. It is not so difficult to follow the speech, avoiding their frequent repetition.

1. Maintaining a conversation: questions.

Problem: if you do not ask, it will seem that the subject of conversation is uninteresting. If you ask too many questions, the dialogue becomes like an interrogation. Inappropriate curiosity about something very personal can completely disappoint, repel.

Solution: communication is built on harmonious questions in the correct amount. You need to ask them on the topic of conversation, without jumping to other topics. This is how communication comfort is laid: the dialogue is of interest to all participants, the topic is close to them. prohibits digging deep into personal space, it is important to notice in time that the interlocutor is not ready to answer, not to put pressure on him.

1. Keeping up the conversation: answers.

Problem: the conversation becomes like an interview: one only asks, and the other only answers. One tries to talk, and the other speaks in monosyllables, reluctantly.

Solution: Get more involved in the conversation. Be a good listener, but at the same time remember to speak without interrupting the speech of the interlocutor. The more detailed the answer, the more confidence in the sincerity of the conversation.

1. Smile and sense of humor.

Problem: a person without a smile does not seem serious, but clamped, dissatisfied, angry. Dialogue in this mood also turns out to be crumpled, awkward.

Solution: even in serious conversations there is a place for a smile, even a slight one. It is worth relaxing the facial muscles, making the look calmer, kinder, and the conversation will acquire a mood of goodwill. The psychology of communication is kindness, interest, sincerity. A pleasant smile is the key to success.

1. Extra items out of hand!

Problem: many have a bad habit during a conversation to twist some object in their hands: a pencil, a pen, a rope on a hood or a strap, their own curl.

Problem: on purpose or for some personal reasons, a person can withstand too long pauses when talking.

Solution: pauses are allowed no more than 10 seconds. This is an intuitive indicator that is within the comfort of an interesting conversation. A longer silence will tell you that the time has come for a new topic of conversation. Obviously, the previous one has exhausted itself.

These are the basic rules that help to understand what communication is in psychology. This is interaction, interest, compliance with the limits of what is permitted. Relaxation and a sincere smile will complement the comfortable atmosphere.

8 qualities of a person that people are drawn to

Communication starts from within. Rarely does anyone have the thought of starting a conversation with a gloomy person who has a tired look, an evil look, and there is not even a shadow of a smile on his face. To become a desirable interlocutor, you need to start with a detailed analysis of yourself.

The desire to communicate with a person is caused by such personal qualities:

• kindness;
• positive thinking, but without excesses. The ability to notice more good things around;
• the ability to provide support, sensitivity to the mood of the interlocutor, respect for his feelings;
• lack of negativity towards others. Not a competitive position, but a mindset for interaction;
• self-confidence and self-confidence;
• the ability to relax in a conversation, to show one's calmness;
• the ability to feel comfortable next to the interlocutor, a smile, a kind look;
• the ability to find in the interlocutor what is worthy of respect, to sincerely admire it.

How to communicate with people with whom it is impossible to communicate?

Perhaps the most difficult thing in interaction is a dialogue with a person who does not even have an intuitive knowledge of how to talk to people correctly. some advice on this.

An unbearable interlocutor can be called someone who interrupts, criticizes, fills the conversation with negativity that has accumulated inside. He can project onto others his failures, dissatisfaction with life in general, or a difficult day at work. In order not to become a victim of someone's negative attitudes, you need to be responsible for your part of communication, not succumbing to provocations. Here's what can disarm any unpleasant interlocutor:

• calm;
• politeness;
• smile;
• friendliness;
• search for common ground, common interests;
• an attempt to take the place of the interlocutor, to understand him;
• cunning.

How to deal with difficult people, psychology will help you figure it out. In some difficult cases, it may be necessary to contact a specialist psychologist-hypnologist and tell in detail about the essence of hostility.

How to learn to communicate with people? Learning the art of effective communication

Good for those who have had communication problems since childhood. Psychology recognizes that the right communication with people is a real gift. Not everyone is born with it. There are many books, lectures and podcasts devoted to the art of effective dialogue.

social phobia

The first step is to get rid of the insidious state - social phobia. This is the main enemy of any communications. In the presence of hostility to society, fear of conversations, there can be no talk of any relaxed comfortable dialogue.

The fight against this condition may require the intervention of a specialist, it is not always easy to get rid of social phobia.

Causes of fear of communicating with people and methods for their elimination

Some people prefer to avoid unnecessary conversations, especially with strangers. They look sullen, silent, even embittered. In fact, there are not so many main reasons for the fear of interacting with society:

• low self-esteem, self-doubt: in appearance, the correctness of beliefs, speech literacy;
• negative experience in the past: incorrect treatment of parents, teachers, unsuccessful public speaking;
• lack of experience in principle: a long life in seclusion, forced "imprisonment" in four walls.

Psychology tells you how to learn to communicate with people: you need to work out the causes of fear, and then get rid of them.

1. Awareness of the problem, acceptance. The determination to fix it.
2. Regular work to overcome barriers: reading books, doing exercises. You can seek the help of a specialist. People who experience difficulties in verbal interaction can first seek advice online. This method is offered by a psychologist-hypnologist

The ability to communicate with other people is an important quality of any man. Your career, the number and quality of friends, success with girls, and much more depend on how effectively you communicate with people. On the one hand, it's so easy to communicate. However, many men have difficulty with this. Some have elements of social phobia, which, in principle, prevent them from making contact with a stranger. Others build communication simply inefficiently: they don’t present themselves from the best angle, they don’t know how to behave in conflict situations.

If you pay attention to how you communicate with the people around you (friends, family, children and just strangers), then half the work is already done. The second step will be the realization of your jambs in communication, which in one way or another interfere with your life. The next thing you should do is to correct and work out all the nuances in communication, including using the tips given in this article and the basic rules of communication, which will be discussed below. Let's start with friends.

Sometimes we simply do not notice that some elements of communication can irritate and offend the interlocutor. For example, in the case of friends, this may be the nicknames given to them. You may find it funny, and the person seems to react neutrally. In fact, this moment can greatly displease a person and harm your communication with him, and friendship in general.

From the same opera, various "puns" and "witches" that a person may not like at all. As a result, he will try to minimize communication with you so as not to experience discomfort in such situations.

From this follows the conclusion that you need to calibrate your communication. Try to be sensitive to your friend. If you see that there is a negative reaction to some of your behaviors in relation to him, change the style of communication so that both of you are comfortable. It's called respect.

Rules for communicating with children

A child is also a person, only a small one. The main difference between him and an adult is his attitude to the world around him. The child has not yet learned to act logically, he lives at the level of emotions. Consequently, if he begins to "behave badly" from the point of view of an adult, logical arguments and suggestions will not calm him down. He won't understand. A much more effective way would be to divert attention from his "bad activity" and focus on something else that might interest the child.

On the other hand, one should behave with a child on an equal footing, without familiarity. An important point in communicating with a child is the ability to listen to him. At the same time, you need to make sure that he treats you with respect on his part. Treat him like a friend. Just less experienced in life and weaker. Sometimes you can give friendly advice. Try to understand what he likes and how he lives.

5 basic rules for communicating with people

#1 Smile and be positive. The smile is disarming. It creates an image of a positive person, has the ability to have a beneficial effect on the interlocutor. Even in conflict situations, a smile is a cool way to defuse the situation.

#2 Know how to listen. Being able to listen to a person is not easy. Often the opinion of your interlocutor does not coincide with yours. Listening to the opposite point of view and maintaining a stable emotional state can be quite difficult. But it is important to be able to do this, since you can understand the opponent’s train of thought and his motives. Therefore, then it will be easier to answer with reason. Or behave properly.

#3 Be a confident but friendly person. An insecure person makes a negative impression on others. Therefore, it is very important to know your own worth, to have your own convictions and be able to defend them with reason. It doesn't have to be aggressive. Even in difficult situations, you can balance on the edge of friendliness.

#4 Treat the other person with respect. This quality helps to maintain a good relationship with a person for a long time. Provided that he also reciprocates. Initially, a respectful attitude towards a person can act as a litmus test: if he did not appreciate such behavior, then you will immediately understand that you should either communicate and do business with him very carefully, or not at all. And vice versa, if a person also immediately respectfully began to communicate with you, then you will find the right language.

#5 Call the interlocutor by name. Every person on a subconscious level likes to be called by name. Therefore, more often mentioning the name of your interlocutor (within reasonable limits), you will quickly win his favor.

Books on the topic of communication rules

Many books have been written on this subject. I will highlight the 5 most interesting ones that I recommend reading.

• Dale Carnegie - "How to Win Friends and Influence People"
• Sigmund Freud - "Psychology of the Masses and Analysis of the Human Self"
• Cornelia Topf - "The Art of Easy Conversation"
• Chaim Ginott "Parent - child. World of Relations"
• Emma Sargent, Tim Fieron - "Learning to have a conversation in any situation"

In conclusion, I would like to say that, despite the various rules of communication, you should also listen to your own Self. What are your desires, thoughts and intentions at the moment? Compare and try to combine them with the rules of communication. Then your communication skills will reach a new level, and you will quickly feel a qualitative increase in the level of your life. Good luck!

Why do some people make friends easily and are liked by everyone, while others are shunned? We say about one that he is lucky, and we call the other unlucky, although the first one should be called “able to evoke sympathy”, and the second - “not endearing”, because often luck in life is nothing more than the ability to win over people.

Charm. Charisma. Communication skills. This is important when talking with friends. This is important when looking for a soul mate. This is important even at work, where it would seem that professional qualities are more valued, but in reality it is the employee who skillfully established relations with management that moves up the career ladder the fastest.

Our lives are about partnerships. Such is the nature of man that in order to survive, he must be able to establish contacts with his own kind. And the better and more reliable these contacts are, the more pleasant and successful our life will be. How to make communication successful?

1. Focus on the good

Look for the best qualities in the interlocutor and mark them. Try to make communication positive, then both you and your partner will benefit from it. If you sincerely admire something in a person, then tell him about it, make an appropriate compliment. Simple phrases such as "I'm glad we understand each other well" and "You correctly noticed that ..." contribute to communication.

2. Be sincere

People, as a rule, are interested in learning something personal about their interlocutor, do not deprive them of this opportunity. Tell us a little about yourself, your family, or your job, especially if you are asked about it. But do not be intrusive, because someone who talks a lot about himself for a long time is considered a bore.

3. Be careful

Be interested in the interlocutor, ask questions. However, be careful if you notice that a person closes down when discussing certain topics. You don't have to be persistent.

4. Joke

People love someone who can make them laugh. If you have an anecdote or a funny life story in stock - do not hide them and share them with your interlocutor, he will appreciate it, and at the same time your sense of humor.

5. Keep it simple

Do not try to impress the interlocutor with your intelligence or erudition, this will most likely have the opposite effect. People like clear interlocutors, i.е. those with whom they feel on equal footing. No one wants to feel stupider than another, and there are not so many lovers of delving into the “rich inner world” of a partner. Speak in clear phrases, avoid terms and complex metaphors, formulate thoughts clearly and clearly and this will lead you to success!

6. Learn to listen

The conversation is controlled not by the one who speaks, but by the one who listens. Listening correctly means not just being silent, but also expressing your emotions with exclamations, gestures, and leading questions. Listen actively!

7. Use non-verbal language

Watch not only what you say, but also how you say it. Look the interlocutor in the eyes, but do not make such a direct look for too long, this may confuse the interlocutor. Many people think that if you look your partner in the eyes all the time, you can convince him of your sincerity. In fact, the look of the eye - in the eye should not be held for more than 4-5 seconds. Try not to cross your arms or keep them in your pockets during a conversation - these poses can signal to your partner that you are inattentive. Also, make sure that your intonation is friendly, not hostile.

In general, Command tone, closed gestures - no. A smile, an open pose, a friendly intonation - yes!

8. Address the interlocutor by name

The advice is banal, but it works. To remember the name of a person means to show respect and interest in him. A person unconsciously reacts more attentively to an appeal addressed to him personally. Get in the habit of addressing your partner by their first name.

9. Know how to argue correctly

Sickly sweet conversation, firstly, quickly gets bored, and secondly, it is often useless. People have the right to different points of view, moreover, it is useful to voice these points of view. Do not be afraid if your opinion does not coincide with the opinion of the interlocutor, you just need to be able to respectfully express and defend it. Remember that disputes, unlike quarrels, can be productive!

10. Don't judge

Do not criticize the interlocutor, because you can never know what prompted him to do one way or another. To assess whether a person did the right thing or wrong, you need to “walk in his shoes,” as the English say. Therefore, judgmental statements such as “You are wrong” and “You did everything wrong” will never be useful. Instead, say “You are right in some way, but still ...”, “Yes, I agree, however ...”

Communication, as you know, is the greatest luxury. Sharpen your communication skills and enjoy this luxury!

10 rules of communication. Scheme

How to communicate with people: 7 reasons to learn how to do it + 10 basic rules + 5 ways to talk to a stranger + 3 amazing exercises.

The sacramental phrase "Hello, king, very nice!" – the pinnacle of your communication skills? Besides, even Ivan Vasilyevich managed to say it more affably than you?

And because of this, the vacation was “covered with a copper basin”, the teacher did not set a test, and your lovely daughter is not taken to a music school?

Do not be sad!

We will teach how to communicate with people correctly so that after each conversation with you a person “bloomed and groined”.

We do not promise instant results, but it is worth making a little effort - and you will become a real master of conversations.

And do I need it? 7 reasons to learn how to communicate with people

For those who look at us frowningly and wonder why we need to work on how to communicate with people (from the series “Love us black, and everyone will love us white”), we are ready to give weighty arguments:

You need to learn how to communicate in order to get a job.

Well, how are you going to persuade you to take a dream job if, when talking with a potential employer, you become clumsy, like Pinocchio, and carry nonsense, next to which even the lyrics of Zemfira's early songs are an example of "iron" logic?

you will have to learn how to communicate with people in order to find mutual understanding with colleagues.

But how else can you persuade the sweetest Alenka to replace you on Wednesday, and the system administrator Serezha - to turn a blind eye to the fact that you spend 90% of your working time on culinary sites?

it is necessary to communicate properly in the family.

Otherwise, "epic" wars on the topic "Who ate the last cutlet and did not wash the pan?" not to be avoided;

it is necessary to communicate correctly with service personnel (salespeople, waiters, client managers, etc.).

You look - and in sunny Turkey you are accommodated in a "suite" for the price of a standard room, and the seller of carpets with tears in his eyes gives the goods with a 30% discount;

learn how to properly communicate with superiors.

And this does not mean at all that when “His Holiness of all firm” appears, you need to cover your face with your hands so as not to go blind from the outgoing radiance.

Behave with dignity!

You need to learn how to properly communicate with children.

And no Montessori and Paul Bragg will help if you yourself do not learn how to get along with your little pet "monster";

psychologists say that even the most "tightened" introvert has a need to learn how to communicate.

And this is just as necessary for your mental health as not seeing your mother-in-law more than once a month!

Ten! 10 main rules of how to communicate with people

“The gods don’t mold pots”, but not only professional psychologists know how to communicate with people correctly, so arm yourself with our advice - and go ahead for the glory of “the most charming and attractive”:

Call the person by name more often if you are trying to learn how to communicate.

Oh, how right old Carnegie was when he claimed that a person's own name is more pleasant than angelic chants.

Do we know about it? Certainly! Do we use it in everyday communication? That's the same...

Ask leading questions if you want to learn how to communicate.

Of course, it is not entirely correct to arrange an interrogation with an addiction to your interlocutor, but try to ask in such a way that it is difficult to limit yourself to a monosyllabic “yes” or “no”.

Don't be afraid to be a little provocative in conversation and feel free to ask about things that really interest you if you want to communicate properly.

Leave talk of the weather-nature for people gray as the London sky.

But if you sincerely admire the harmony that reigns in your friend's family, then you can ask her directly how she does it.

From her will not decrease, and, most likely, she will like to act as a guru of family happiness.

However, we must remember that if you want to learn how to communicate, you must know that there are “forbidden” topics that are right to raise only with a glass of good wine (or something stronger) with your best friend:

It is necessary to communicate with people correctly with their intonation and at their pace.

You should not tire an elderly woman with a speech in which words fly out faster than bullets, and annoy a busy boss to horror with the manners of a "Turgenev" young lady.

Try to speak competently, clearly and firmly with people when you communicate.

And for this, gentlemen, you should at least understand the subject of the conversation a little.

Therefore, if you set out to learn how to communicate with people, we advise you to turn off the TV, burn romance novels, women's magazines and other literary trash at the stake and “turn to the light” - classics, popular science magazines and quality documentaries.

Work on your writing if you need to learn how to communicate.

“I am writing to you, why else?” - you, of course, are not Tatyana Larina, but these words should become your motto if you want to communicate with people correctly.

Psychologists say that there is a direct relationship between writing and the ability to verbally express one's thoughts. It’s not entirely correct to limit yourself to emojis on social networks!

To communicate with people correctly, use facial expressions and gestures sparingly.

You should not talk about a trip to the sea with a stone face, like a central television announcer, but waving your arms like a windmill is also not the best option.

“Do you know what is the most vivid impression left from acquaintance with sunny Italy?
No, not pasta and pizza! I could not stop looking at how beautifully Italians and Italians gesticulate!
What a hand dance! And the raised eyebrow? This is their way of communicating!
In a word, it was indescribable. I got the impression that I’m not walking the streets, but watching a performance!” - says Natalia from St. Petersburg.

1. You can communicate correctly only by delving into what the interlocutor says.

   Do you want to be known as a charmer? Then you will have to listen carefully even when a person talks about the methods of reproduction of geraniums and the shape of shoes in the time of Louis XIV.

   Trust people, be open, at least until they show themselves to be a "radish", if you want to learn how to communicate correctly.

   A neighbor may be harassing you with his endless repairs (and does he want to hammer a wall on Sunday morning?), but he may turn out to be a brilliant fitness trainer or an equally brilliant lawyer.

   And who wouldn’t want to get a training program from this modern Apollo “for free”?

   Be confident to yourself, like James Bond and the Terminator put together, if you want to learn how to communicate with people correctly.

   Does not work? Then you have two ways:

   • “fall in love with yourself” the way you are in order to communicate confidently.

     Yes, yes, with two crooked teeth, a receding hairline and a love of beer;

     work frantically on yourself, correcting what can be corrected in order to learn how to communicate.

     Let's be honest - the task is not easy, a sort of "way of the samurai."

     But it is much more exciting to become a successful metropolitan "thing" than to revel in the title of "first girl in the village."

Everyone will talk! 5 secrets of how to properly communicate with strangers

In order not to ask, as in the song “Wait, wait, where are you man?”, Having met a double of David Beckham in a bar, you should know how to communicate with strangers:

Ask a question when interacting with a new person.

No, no, you shouldn't ask about Newton's third law and the rules for solving trigonometric equations if you don't want a "vacuum" to form around you at the party.

Questions "How do you like today's music?" or “How long have you known the mistress of the house?” will fit quite well.

Give a compliment if you want to communicate with people in the right way.

Even if the interlocutor blushes from your speeches, like a May rose, believe me, deep down he is happy that you found his dog, drooling on a sofa cushion, charming.

Take a look around, and use some of the surrounding objects as a clue to start communicating with people.

“I have one trick in communication that has never let me down: being at someone's house, I always look at the volumes in the bookcase.
Word for word - and now we don’t have a banal “chatter” that food has risen in price, all deputies are bastards, and neighbors are potential patients of a mental hospital, but we argue about who is cooler - Ian Banks or Haruki Murakami, Coelho or Castaneda. - shares Lyudmila from Chernigov.

1. Tell something about yourself or ask for advice on when to communicate properly.

   The fact that you had chickenpox in the fourth grade, you live in a communal apartment, and you have three people and a dog Zhuzha in your care, you should not immediately “load” a person, but if you write articles on psychology or recently finally got out to the theater - why not "hook" this interlocutor?

   Try to repeat the last phrase of the interlocutor with an interrogative intonation when communicating.

   This will help him show himself in all his glory (he will begin to delve into the topic), and you will earn a reputation as a "soul-man", which the world has not yet seen.

   By the way, this technique is most often used by hitchhikers to talk to gloomy uncles-truckers.

3 amazing exercises for those who want to learn how to properly communicate with people

"Ten blacks."

Your task is to start a conversation with ten strangers in a day.

If you want, ask a handsome man for directions (and who knows where it will lead you?), if you want, finally find out the name of the janitor and how the neighbor has enough willpower to go for a run every morning?

"Conversation with a cactus" in order to learn how to communicate correctly.

Well, maybe not with a cactus, but with any inanimate object.

Try to broadcast at least 20 minutes every evening to a chair, window, or beloved cat about how the day went.
You look - soon you will switch to people! We believe in you!

"Praise me, praise me!"

Throughout the day, you need to compliment everyone you interact with.

And whether it will be an exemplary order in a friend’s apartment, your child’s “kalyaki-malaki” or cabbage cut into four pieces by her husband under the proud name “Greek salad” is not so important.

6 annoying "jambs" of those who want to communicate brilliantly with people

Although the art of communicating with people correctly is not a minefield where you need to control every step, but why “undermine” where you can do without losses?

How to learn the ease of communication and become a great conversationalist?

3 tips from American coach Brian Tracy in this video:

A real treasure! 10 most interesting books for those who want to know how to communicate with people the right way

For those who want to find the answer to the question "How to learn to communicate with people?", Our list:

So, if you do not want to be known as a "beech" - work on yourself, tirelessly. To know and understand how to learn to communicate with people- to the power of every sane person.

Yes, and don’t stop to chat with your neighbor only on the “good” days, when you get enough sleep, everything is ok at work, and the new dress suits you amazingly.

Real ladies and gentlemen behave impeccably every day, not just on holidays. And who knows, maybe your phone will soon just “pop” from the numbers of new friends.

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It is necessary to distinguish between the general laws of communication and the rules of communication.

Communication rules- these are the recommendations for communication that have developed in society. Many of them are reflected in proverbs, sayings, aphorisms (Know more, but speak to me; The word is silver, silence is golden; Know how to joke, know how to stop; There is no right to be a noise; Little by saying, you will hear more, etc.) The rules of communication reflect the prevailing in society of ideas about how to communicate in a particular communicative situation, how best to communicate. The rules of communication are developed by society and supported by the socio-cultural tradition of this society. They are acquired by people through observation and imitation of others, as well as through targeted learning. The rules that people have learned well and long ago are implemented by them in communication almost automatically, without consciousness control. Having studied certain rules, one can apply them consciously in order to achieve a certain goal in communication, and this gives a great advantage in communication to those who know these rules.

So here are the basic rules:

1) Communication on an equal footing, without rudeness and servility.

2) Respect for the personal opinion of the interlocutor.

3) Lack of desire to find out who is right and who is wrong.

4) Communication at the level of requests, not orders.

5) Search for compromise solutions.

6) The ability to appreciate the decision of another.

7) The ability to accept the experience of others.

If a person does not know how to start a conversation, then you should choose any interesting topic for conversation and a time when the person being addressed is not busy with any work. You should always remember that the other person is not like you, and you need to be able to look at things through his eyes, especially in conflict situations.

Communication techniques

There are also methods of communication, or methods of speech influence. These are specific recommendations for increasing the effectiveness of communication. For example, the rule "Approaching the interlocutor increases the effectiveness of speech impact on him" is implemented in the practice of communication in the form of the following techniques: "Come closer!", "Invade the interlocutor's personal space!", "Touch the interlocutor!".

The following techniques contribute to the establishment of relationships of mutual understanding:

1. eye contact, as well as a smile and other means of non-verbal communication. Smile sincerely and avoid using gestures that set barriers (do not sit cross-legged, do not cross your arms, do not turn away from the interlocutor);

2. handshake. Physical contact is an important part of establishing a relationship. Your handshake should convey to the other person your actual desire to "get close" and "touch" them;

3. verbal greeting. Your greeting should be appropriate for the situation in which you meet to carry out your intentions. You can refer to your partner by name if appropriate. In Russia, it is customary to call a partner by his first name and patronymic;

4. the first words of greeting, which must comply with the rules of business etiquette, but preferably in the form of open questions (for example: “what?”, “when?”, “how?”);

5. your attitude. Be genuinely interested in the interaction. Your attitude will ensure good communication if you show genuine interest and respect for your partner;

6. your behavior. Ask open-ended questions. Listen carefully. Partially use your partner's answers to ask the following questions. Give your partner important or relevant information about yourself. Ask your partner for their opinion on the issue being discussed. Use situationally appropriate humor;

7. clear communication. Use short but clear statements on the essence of the subject of communication; end your sentences with questions, use strings for positive answers

8. adequacy and pace. In a well-balanced partner relationship, there is a regular rotation of responsibility for setting the pace. Try to match your partner in speech speed, intonation, breathing rhythm, gestures, postures

A person needs to be communicatively literate and know the above laws and rules. Effective communication, the culture of communication must be learned as the basics of literacy, as the ability to read and write. Because this is really literacy that everyone needs: every day we all make many gross mistakes that make our life, already difficult, even more difficult. We all the time make remarks to strangers, give advice to those who do not ask us, criticize people in front of witnesses, and do much more that is absolutely impossible to do according to the laws of communication in a civilized society. All this prevents us from achieving results at work, it prevents us from living normally in a family, communicating with children, close and not so close people, leading to increased conflict in communication.

It has been established that our business contacts will be successful in 7 cases out of 10, if we also know the rules of business communication.

QUESTIONS FOR SELF-CHECKING

1. What are the laws of communication?

2. What is their feature?

3. List the basic laws of communication.

4. What are the rules of communication? How do they differ from the laws of communication?

5. What communication rules do you know?

6. What are communication techniques?

7. What techniques contribute to the establishment of relationships of mutual understanding?

Perhaps someone will be surprised, but communication with friends implies compliance with certain rules. The sooner a person masters them, the better his relationship with others will develop.

It is believed that the rules for communicating with friends should be intuitive, but practice proves otherwise. Very often a person suffers from his own loneliness, sincerely wondering why people shun him. There can be many reasons. Many tend not to notice their own shortcomings, ignore other people's comments, considering them unreasonable. But the problem of communication exists, moreover, it is becoming relevant and widespread.

And not a friend, and not an enemy, and so

There is a category of people who absolutely do not need communication. Misanthropes, hermits, introverts - these are just a few of the epithets that are awarded to those who prefer complete solitude to a noisy company. But there are only a few of them, and the bulk of the population experiences a certain discomfort with a lack of live communication. To correct the situation, it is necessary to master the rules of communication with friends. At this stage, there are a number of questions to ask:

1) Am I a good friend?

2) Will I come to the rescue of a loved one if he asks for help?

3) Do I offend people by word or deed?

4) Am I tactful enough?

5) Do I know how to conduct a competent,

6) Am I an erudite and comprehensively developed person enough to be of interest to others?

Answering these simple questions honestly will paint a picture.

Secrets of friendship

As it originates in early childhood, and if you are lucky, it passes through your whole life. Such relationships are not interrupted, even if people go to different cities and start families. This is what you should strive for.

So, there is one wrong position: everyone should accept me as I am. This is the greatest delusion. A person must strive for the ideal all his life, engage in self-education, listen to criticism and draw conclusions. A person cannot be at one stage; it either develops or degrades. Of course, everyone wants to see in their circle of friends those people who are trying to become kinder, smarter, more educated. A good example is contagious. If there is a desire, then it's time to move on to practical advice. The rules for communicating with friends are as follows:

1) Listen. Perhaps this is the main rule. Not every person is able to show sincere interest in the story of the interlocutor.

2) Do not be silent. Interrupting and inserting a similar story, of course, is not worth it, but making relevant and smart comments is not only possible, but necessary.

3) Give advice with caution. Perhaps the interlocutor is waiting for them, but is it worth taking on such responsibility? After all, in the end you can remain guilty.

4) Friends meet to spend time together. The key word is "together". That is why you should not hide in a corner with a phone and look gloomily at your comrades, distracting you from your favorite toy with conversations.

Basics of etiquette

Every person is familiar with the elementary rules of etiquette. But theoretical knowledge and their application in practice are not the same thing. The rules for communicating with friends are a whole science that every person who is tired of being alone has to master. Friendly etiquette says not to:

1) Putting a friend in This means that it is strictly forbidden to ask for a loan from an overly economical person or demand speed of action from a slow one.

2) Make difficult requests. The comrade will have a feeling of guilt from the fact that he is not able to help.

3) Asking for help too often. Sooner or later, such regularity will begin to bother, and the person will try to stop communication, believing that he is being used.

4) Making promises and not keeping them. Such actions make one disappointed in a friend.

virtual world

The Internet has firmly entered the life of every person and has become its integral part. Social networks are replacing face-to-face communication, so it is not surprising that there are rules for online communication with friends.

The first and main commandment says: messages sent by friends must be answered. Sometimes people online choose to ignore them. Here you need to make a small digression and imagine such a situation. Two friends met

How are you doing?

The interlocutor did not answer this, he silently turned around and left. Silent scene. This is what silence looks like on the web.

Also, do not send funny and funny pictures to a friend. Never. Perhaps this is very funny and interesting, but suddenly a person is busy or just not in the mood. He will have to make an effort on himself to answer this meaningless message.

In the modern world, in fashion, the habit that needs to be eradicated in oneself is to respond with abbreviations. For example, "sps" instead of "thank you", "pl" instead of "please". The Russian language is beautiful and rich. It is much more pleasant to communicate with a person who is fluent in it, and not with difficulty connecting two words into a sentence and is distinguished by a frightening tongue-tied tongue.

Relationship problems with peers

Years of study are remembered with warmth and tenderness. Every person sooner or later thinks about the distant time when he was a carefree schoolboy. But nostalgia will come decades later, but for now there may be problems in relationships with peers.

The rules of communication with classmates will help to avoid them. A catchphrase is appropriate here: treat people the way you want them to treat you. This means that you can not give offensive nicknames, laugh at physical disabilities, show disrespect and rudeness. These banal truths need to be learned, they will help build harmonious relations with society.

Can you lie to your friends?

Probably, someone will be surprised, but sometimes you can lie to your friends. The rules of proper communication say that you must always remain an honest and sincere person, but no one has canceled the concept of “lie for good”.

So in what situations is slyness permissible? Lies are justified when the truth can lead to unpleasant consequences or even tragedy. For example, an unattractive girl asks, "Am I ugly?" Is it possible to answer this question in the affirmative? Truth-seekers, of course, will say that it is always necessary to tell only the truth. But does the person who asks such a question want the truth? Also, a lie is justified when it comes to saving life, dignity and honor.

friend?

Michel de Montaigne said: "In friendship there are no other calculations than itself." So why is it sometimes difficult for a kind and open person to communicate with people?

The rules of successful communication will help change the situation for the better. And if the standard norms for dialogue and behavior are known to every person from early childhood, then more subtle nuances can be a startling discovery. The psychological rules of communication are a panacea for loneliness that burdens the soul:

• The barrier in communication will help overcome the honing of communication skills.
• Control over your own emotions is something that needs to be developed in yourself.
• Observation will allow you to adjust to the interlocutor, this guarantees the maximum benefit from communication.
• The ability to choose a topic is the key to success. If we take a simple example, then a person with three higher educations, talking with a simple worker, will not start talking about Barrow's theorem or about modern research in the field of genetics. Unfamiliar topics will confuse the participant in the dialogue, and he will be embarrassed.
• The sweetest word for any person is his. During communication, you should not depersonalize the interlocutor, you should address by name.
• A friendly smile works wonders.