Don't let stress rule the world

It can and should be dealt with

For the psychological preparation of military personnel for the lifting of the Kursk nuclear-powered icebreaker and the rehabilitation of victims of terrorist attacks, Dr. Aliyev was awarded high awards and thanks.

Khasai Aliyev tells a correspondent of the Medical Newspaper about his method.

— Khasai Magomedovich, as long as I’ve known you, I never cease to be amazed: you always remain an optimist in any situation. But one Moscow poet formulated his understanding of reality this way: “Life is what it is, and nothing more.” Dispute the statement?

— Arguing with a poet is like arguing with an angel. Moreover, he is, by and large, right. With one, however, clarification: life is what it is. inside us. That is, how we feel and perceive it. And sensations and perceptions can be regulated.

What about the hardships of real life? For example, one memory of the hostage taking at the Dubrovka Theater Center still plunges many into a state of severe stress.

The state of stress is caused by many factors. Sometimes, the most insignificant ones. And in the October days and nights, hundreds of psychologists worked on Dubrovka, who, with the help of the “Key,” brought first the relatives of the hostages, and then the victims themselves, the participants in the assault, out of a state of psychological shock.

Unfortunately, we have to admit that stress becomes permanent in everyday life. And it is no longer possible to fight it with the usual methods.

- It turns out that living is generally harmful?

- No, you just need to understand that fighting anything is not the best way to implement certain tasks and achieve specific goals. Fighting is aggression. For example, I am impressed by the wise Eastern warning: “Don’t wake the sleeping tiger.” Its essence is to always remain in harmony with others and, more importantly, with yourself.

It is no coincidence that the idea of ​​good prevails in all world religions. I was born and raised in a land that is now thoughtlessly called a conflict zone. But I remember the wise old men who taught us only good things. And they themselves lived lightly and kindly. There are no special conflict zones on earth. Conflicts arise in souls. Stress is a conflict in the soul.

—Where can I get the strength for success?

— Strengths are revealed by a sense of perspective. That's why fortune tellers are always popular. They usually convince that “everything will be fine.” And it works. Because things can't be bad all the time.

— A similar principle is often used by politicians to manipulate public consciousness. Are you proposing to live in a “bright future”? It happened before.

— The method of psychophysiological self-regulation helps to free consciousness from subconscious cliches and stereotypes of thinking. When a person knows how to manage his internal state, regulate and relieve nervous tension, he thereby expands his freedom to choose decisions. Otherwise, if a person does not know how to manage himself, others begin to manage him.

Self-regulation mechanisms are inherent in human nature. However, more often they manifest themselves in exceptional, extreme cases, spontaneously. The goal of the “Key” method is to develop the ability to consciously manage self-regulation mechanisms to increase the level of psychological protection, creative, volitional, adaptive and physical capabilities of a person.

- The now widely known systems are also aimed at this - yoga, autogenic training, even aerobics, finally.

— The fundamental difference of my method is that instead of long, exhausting training, an individual selection of “key” techniques is used that automatically relieve stress. And what is important is that each person can choose these techniques independently. And the answer to the question of where to get the strength for success becomes obvious: only in yourself.

— How and when did your famous “Key” appear?

— The method of psychophysiological self-regulation was created by me at the Cosmonaut Training Center named after. Yu.A. Gagarin and was intended to overcome stress and overload, simulating the state of weightlessness for an astronaut in earthly conditions.

Once I suggested to a group of astronauts to relax and reproduce from memory the sensations of the state of weightlessness experienced in space. At the same time, their hands began to automatically “float up”, and a state of special inner lightness arose.

The control group of subjects who had no experience of weightlessness was asked to imagine mentally that their hands were “floating up”. The hands automatically “floated up”, and a state of special internal lightness arose, and as a result, stress went away, headaches and fatigue disappeared.

This is how the first “key techniques” were found, giving a person access to control his body.

A digression is necessary here, which will give the reader some idea of ​​the possibilities of using the “Key”. Several years ago, during our conversation with him, Khasai Aliyev said: with the help of the method, they say, one can easily develop creative abilities. Naturally, I immediately latched on to the words: “Is it difficult to develop the ability to write a novel, compose a symphony, or paint a picture? Naturally, brilliant. - “Not weakly!” — Hasai answered seriously. And after a couple of years, a personal exhibition of paintings opened at the State Institute of Art History of the Ministry of Culture of the Russian Federation. artist Khasay Aliyev. Of course, I visited the exhibition. All visitors, famous professional artists, unanimously admitted: the exhibited works are very talented and... simply overflowing with good energy force. For my part, I undertake to assert: the person who first took up a brush “on a bet” achieved unique results and acquired his own creative personality in painting.

I remember that after visiting the exhibition of paintings by Hasai Aliyev, I wrote a newspaper article in one breath: I gave myself a command to self-regulate - and. “The hand reached for the pen, the pen for the paper. »

— Why were the paintings chosen? What if we lost a talented writer or a brilliant composer?

- I chose one, you have the right to choose another. It is important to understand, and this is fundamental, that the method allows any person to develop their creative abilities and raise the “goal bar.” It turns out that when you solve a problem and cannot solve it, then by increasing the level of the task, you implement it almost “automatically”.

“It’s no secret that the consumption of alcohol, tranquilizers, and drugs is growing alarmingly. They are believed by many to relieve nervous tension and promote creativity. Is it so?

“I declare with conviction: such methods of getting rid of stress lead to rapid personality degradation. And not only their own degradation, but also that of their offspring. Already the ancient Romans, having felt the destructive power of stress, tried to relieve it with unbridled orgies. It is known that the Roman Empire quickly ended with this “experiment”.

- Conclusion? If it comes down to the usual and only recommendation to lead a healthy lifestyle, I admit, I will be disappointed.

— Physical exercise, relaxing massages, and a sauna are certainly useful. They help maintain tone. But not more. They are not a radical protection against stress. Because they affect the human body “from the outside,” and stress is relieved only “from the inside.” With the help of my techniques, a person finds a harmonizing state within himself, and internal work begins - self-regulation, which relieves stress.

— What can the “Key” do and how does it work?

— “The Key” can be successfully used to reduce stress and fatigue in a working person, optimize learning and training processes. It gives excellent results in the treatment of psychosomatic diseases and neurotic disorders (phobias, anxiety disorders, situational depression, hypertension, angina pectoris, bronchial asthma, digestive system disorders, osteochondrosis, radiculitis, early diabetes and others). There are no medical contraindications for mentally healthy individuals.

The main and happy feature of the “Key” is that it is publicly available, compact, and easy to use. The result is guaranteed. If one technique does not work, immediately use another, and you know how to do it. Training in self-regulation skills can be carried out in conditions close to real ones (in noise, etc.). This is important because skills developed in comfortable conditions are difficult to apply in real, and even more so in extreme conditions.

You can gain access to control a person’s mental reactions by mastering techniques for mentally controlling the body’s reflex reactions. As such a temporary intermediary between a person’s consciousness and his body, special ideo-reflexive techniques are used - automatic movements that arise reflexively in response to their figurative representation. At your request, your hand can slowly “float” up without the usual muscle effort. At the same time, nervous tension is weakened and a special controlled state of self-regulation is reached, when other reactions occurring in the body begin to obey you.

Key techniques provide a clear effect from the first use and dramatically increase the effectiveness of psychological and psychotherapeutic methods. With their help, you can get a vivid result of a radical - “right before your eyes” - improvement in well-being and mood. With the help of the “Key” you reduce fatigue and quickly restore your body’s strength.

— Is it possible to learn all these amazing techniques in absentia?

- Certainly! The “key” is unusual movements (not “physical training”!). These are special techniques that relieve stress automatically, whether you believe it or not. The principle of selecting an individual “key”: look for what works best. The techniques stimulate the creative search activity of the brain. Having spent several minutes performing one technique, you will suddenly find that the action you started continues “by inertia”, without feeling tired or tense.

Hold your hands in front of you, imagine in your mind that they are moving in different directions. But, as if on their own, automatically. Wish them to begin to disperse. In order for this to happen, a condition must be met: you need to “throw out” everything unnecessary from your head. Do not move your hands mechanically, but relax internally and wait until your hands begin to automatically move in different directions.

When your hands begin to automatically move in different directions, you get a strange feeling - it’s not clear whether it’s you moving them or whether they themselves are carrying out your internal order.

This happens because the use of this technique - an intermediary between consciousness and the body’s reflexes - causes the phenomenon of “unity of mind and body,” that is, a state of internal integrity and harmony. In our case, we are talking about consciously controlled motor reflexes (ideoreflexes) - your hands begin to diverge in response to the image of their movement that you create yourself. Then you can lower your hands and imagine how they “float up”. They float up like wings, light as feathers, like an astronaut in zero gravity. This phenomenon is usually called levitation.

And after this, like a thread behind a needle, you will begin to feel a feeling of inner peace, lightness, and flight appearing.

By learning to control reflex movements, you learn to control your body.

The complex for selecting the “key to yourself” consists of six basic techniques: “Divergence” of the hands, “Convergence” of the hands, “Hovering of the hands, levitation”, “Flight”, “Swinging”, “Movements of the head”.

All “Key” techniques develop the ability to control stress, control yourself, quickly restore strength and manage yourself. And it is not at all necessary to use them all. Khasai Aliyev emphasizes fundamentally: look for what works. The main thing is to achieve a harmonizing state using techniques. I. psychophysiological self-regulation of the body will begin by itself, obeying your will.

The conversation was conducted by Valery VOLODCHENKO.

how to give vent to emotions

Give your emotions an outlet. Of course, you obviously shouldn’t do this, but you can turn your feelings in a slightly different direction. For example, use your imagination and imagine a vivid picture of reprisals against the culprit of your anger. Is it worth giving vent to emotions if they can lead to a scandal? Or is it better to accumulate negativity in yourself and live peacefully and amicably? The manifestation of negativity is a vicious circle. An outlet for emotions is necessary. We, adults, each find our own way to release negative emotions. 3) Give your child advice: in a moment of irritation, before doing something, take a few deep breaths and count to 10. Sports allows many people to cope with negative emotions, because without counting Besides the fact that this is an excellent and very useful way to give emotions an outlet, also during sports our body produces endorphins, the hormones of happiness. Learning to keep your mind under control is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. In this article we will figure out how to learn to control your emotions and feelings, relying on psychology and the knowledge of experienced specialists. Driving feelings deeper and suppressing them is dangerous. It is better to give them an outlet in a way that is safe for the child and others. Strong emotions need to be given an outlet. If you don’t want neuroses and depression, representatives of the fair sex are by nature much more emotional than men. That is why control over their emotions is quite difficult for them.3. Give vent to negativity. You just need to find time and space where you can come face to face with what is really happening to you and give it a way out. It may be difficult to agree with what we are talking about right away - after all, the mind has been conditioned for centuries to fight with feelings and emotions For example, you can spend all the energy intended for action on talking and boasting, and end up doing nothing. Or, getting angry with your boss, give vent to your emotions only at home and take your anger out on your wife.

“First aid” in the case when the emotion has taken over you too much, Yulia Kirilyuk advises to give the emotions the fastest physical outlet. I believe that in our active life the ability to be emotionally stable is extremely important. However, these emotions give us valuable information about the situation we are in and our perception of that situation. Like physical pain, negative feelings and emotions (fear, anger, sadness, anxiety, stress) indicate that there is a problem. So, by not giving vent to emotions, we are driving ourselves into a hospital bed? Pathological restraint, yes. There is a theory that we do not choose feelings, but they choose us. What kind of feelings we experience every day: joy, sadness, anger, tenderness, mistrust, admiration, envy and much more. Naturally, blaming innate data for your problems and difficulties is much easier than taking a course: “How to manage emotions” and How to give vent to emotions. The dynamic life of modern society every now and then brings us to the “redistribution” of our own emotions. It's no secret that today almost everyone is faced with the need for emotional release. Most people use three ways to deal with their feelings and emotions: suppression, expression and avoidance. By the way, the methods of so-called “body-oriented psychotherapy” are aimed at getting rid of these clamps, which sometimes give completely moreover, feelings and emotions can directly influence our mental condition. For example, people who vent their anger too often become more irritable and angry.

How to fight back stress?

Physiological changes in the body, which begin in most women after 40 years, are absolutely natural, as they are associated with the fact that the body begins to prepare for menopause. The degree to which these symptoms are expressed depends on many factors: the state of physical health, hormonal balance in the body, lifestyle, the presence of chronic diseases, excess weight, heredity. In cases where the restructuring of the body is accompanied by pronounced symptoms, this negatively affects the quality of life. An important place among the “troubles” is occupied by stress, which is a frequent companion of the adaptation period. It is very unsafe to ignore this problem, since frequent and prolonged stress threatens serious health problems, as has been proven by numerous scientific studies.

Stress can manifest itself in extremely different ways. In order to recognize your own body’s call for help in time and take the necessary actions in a timely manner, we suggest you familiarize yourself with what masks stress can be hidden behind.

Nausea. Stress and anxiety can cause nausea and vomiting. As a rule, the woman experiences nausea for a long time. The duration of the period varies from several days to 1-2 weeks. Drinking plenty of clean water and relaxing techniques, such as deep breathing exercises or meditation, can help cope with this problem. However, it should be remembered that in case of repeated bouts of vomiting, it is necessary to consult a doctor in order to make a diagnosis.

Hair loss. There are many causes of hair loss, the most common ones studied are genetic predisposition and certain medications. Stress can also trigger hair loss. Alopecia areata, an autoimmune disorder in which white blood cells attack hair follicles, causing hair loss, often develops due to prolonged stress. Also, specialists from the American Osteopathic College of Dermatology claim that there is a connection between severe stress and temporary alopecia (Telogen effluvium), in which sudden loss of a significant amount of hair (up to 70%) occurs.

Nose bleed. There is still debate about the connection between nosebleeds and stress, but clinical studies show that in some cases, patients experienced nosebleeds after a stressful situation. In 2001, the British Medical Journal published an article suggesting that nosebleeds are caused by a sudden drop in blood pressure that occurs during a stressful situation. In this case, experts recommend getting away from the daily routine for a while: going out of town or taking an extra day off.

Absent-mindedness. Chronic stress exposes the hippocampus (the area of ​​the brain responsible for memory) to excessive amounts of cortisol, the stress hormone, resulting in poor memory.

Weakened immunity. There are several mechanisms of weakened immunity due to stress. In a stressful situation, the production of catecholamines, hormones involved in the regulation of the immune system, increases significantly, and prolonged production weakens their positive effect. Also, stress negatively affects the thymus gland, which is responsible, among other things, for the functions of the immune system.

Increased sweating. It is known that a person sweats more in a stressful situation, but some people suffer from hyperhidrosis, increased sweating, especially intense on the palms and soles. Yoga and meditation can help reduce this reaction to a stressful situation.

We have dealt with the main symptoms of stress and the mechanisms of their formation. If you are under stress or emotional tension, you must take all possible measures to avoid possible complications. The following recommendations will help you recognize and cope with stress in time.

Eat more often. Many people eat irregularly due to stress. Long breaks between meals place additional stress on the body. Skipping breakfast, for example, negatively affects your metabolism. To relieve stress, eat regularly. It is necessary to eat at least three times a day (preferably 5-6), adhering to the rules of a balanced diet. At the same time, do not deny yourself small pleasures - a piece of dark chocolate or a cup of hot cocoa.

Meditation will not cope with stress immediately after the first lesson, since mastering the technique takes some time. However, the fact that as a result you will feel its beneficial effects is absolutely guaranteed. There are quite a few forms of meditation. Some of them can be put into practice in everyday life - they do not require special equipment or a lot of time. Deep breathing is one of the best first aid methods for stress. While sitting, straighten your back, inhale and exhale deeply and slowly 3-4 times. Concentrate only on your breathing. This basic exercise has a quick relaxing effect. If thoughts about various kinds of problems do not leave you and do not give you peace, imagine them in the form of dark thunderclouds and drive them away - let the sun shine.

Regular physical activity help cope with stress. To achieve the desired result, you need to choose the right sport, since intense strength training only increases the level of cortisol in the body. Sports or Nordic walking, Pilates, yoga - these sports will help you “let off steam”.

Stressful conditions will haunt you as long as you allow them to. If you have a friend who constantly strives to immerse you in the drama of his life, abstract yourself. After a hard day at work, take a walk in the park. Or gather the whole family and go on vacation. Control your stress and life will sparkle with new colors!

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Metro Street 1905, st. Anatoly Zhivova, 10.

Unlike ordinary erotic quests, of which there are many in Moscow, our riddles and puzzles are not the most important thing. The main thing that our guests receive is ideal conditions for a piquant continuation of a romantic date: from spacious beds and devices for fixing partners in the most intricate positions to comfortable showers with a set of necessary toiletries.

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Visitors to the Antiotel are not at all obliged to spend time completing tasks, which, however, are not very difficult, especially since even without this, in each of our rooms there are many opportunities for bold experiments and extraordinary erotic games.

You don’t have to show your passport or deal with the Antiotel staff – with us, all formalities are limited to online reservations and payment using a bank card.

Confidentiality of the visit is guaranteed. Safety and sterility at the highest level. We hope that after visiting us, you will definitely want to come back and take part in an exciting erotic adventure again.

Moscow, metro station 1905 Goda, st. Anatoly Zhivova, 10

Why ANTI-HOTEL? Yes, because in our kind of quest, located near the metro stations Vystavochnaya, Delovoy Tsentr, Mezhdunarodnaya and Ulitsa 1905, everything is not like in an hourly hotel, and even more so, not like in a hotel that rents out apartments for the night. If you are looking for where you can retire in Moscow, but you are tired of the standard conditions of sex hotels, then perhaps the most original place for sex in the city is at your service.

This is not an ordinary hotel with an hourly rate and not a dating house - with us everything is exactly the opposite! At the hotel you will be warmly greeted by a polite receptionist and asked to present some document for registration - in an anti-hotel you will not need documents, and you will not see any of the staff at all.

A hotel room for the night is intended for the rest of tired travelers and visiting businessmen - those who come to the anti-hotel are looking for unusual places for making love, to give an outlet for pent-up energy, and leave exhausted, but satisfied.

A standard hotel room for the night allows you to comfortably place your luggage, get whiskey from the minibar and snooze comfortably in front of the TV - we don’t have a minibar, TV or space to store luggage, but there is something to rack your brains about, where to show ingenuity and imagination , practice intricate positions, test your strength in unusual conditions.

In the end, you can stay alone in any erotic hotel - in the anti-hotel only couples who are thinking about how to diversify their sex life and larger groups are welcome.

Just yesterday you were wondering where to rent a room for an hour. You won't be looking for the best places to have sex anymore. Only here you will find such exotic equipment as a glory hall, or an iron cage, adapted for making love in extreme interiors.

Without a doubt, the anti-hotel is one of the best places to make love in Moscow.

Suppression of emotions vs. emotion management

What is the difference between suppressing emotions and managing emotions? I did not consider this issue in my article on how to control your emotions. But, having received comments from my readers, I decided to devote a separate article to this topic.

In this post I will answer the questions: what happens to emotions when we try to restrain them? Does everyone really need to experience strong emotions? Is it wise to “extinguish” emotions instead of giving them vent?

I am sure that these questions popped up in the minds of many of my readers and subscribers, even if they did not ask them in the end.

The legacy of psychoanalysis

In the mass consciousness, the opinion has become quite firmly established that a person needs certain “emotional lightning rods”, outlet channels for the emotions boiling inside, namely, things that provoke strong feelings and, thereby, provide a release of the emotional energy accumulated inside. From this belief it follows that if emotions do not receive the necessary discharge, then they are simply “buried” deep into the personality structure, “canned” there and turned into a time bomb that threatens to explode at any moment, releasing kilotons of suppressed energy and drawing in explosion of everyone around.

This is used to explain why, for example, people watch dramatic films, go to cheer for football teams, or hit a punching bag until they are blue in the face. It is believed that in this way they give vent to accumulated emotional stress. If they don’t do this, then all the energy will supposedly “go” in unsafe directions: people will begin to lash out at loved ones, swear in public transport and participate in squabbles at work.

Therefore, the philosophy of controlling emotions, in the thinking of many people, comes down not to working with the sensory world, but to finding the most harmless, least destructive outlet channels for one’s energy. This philosophy states that you cannot just get rid of, for example, anger, you just need to direct it in the right direction. This is an expression of a certain “law of conservation of energy” within the emotional world. If it has left somewhere, it will definitely arrive somewhere else.

This belief, in my opinion, is a consequence of the fashion for psychoanalysis, or rather the abuse of psychoanalysis. I do not want to say that this opinion is completely wrong, but this provision has a limited scope of applicability, and this should not be forgotten. I believe that the belief in the need for emotional release has gained a place in public thinking because such a belief responds to considerations of psychological comfort. Not because it is true or false.

It is convenient for us to believe that we cannot escape our emotions and we need to direct them somewhere, otherwise they will be suppressed. From the perspective of such a belief, our hysterics and sudden nervous breakdowns receive a reasonable justification: “Well, I’m boiling,” “You understand, I’m so stressed at work, that’s why I yelled at you.” It’s convenient to use such a philosophy to relieve yourself of guilt, don’t you think?

“Well, what should you do if this is true, and if you don’t take out your anger in time, it will be “canned” inside, giving you no rest? Don’t we need strong experiences, don’t we sometimes need to get angry, swear, suffer in order to fuse the accumulated energy somewhere?” - you ask. If this is so, then why do people who have achieved heights in controlling their minds, for example those who have been practicing yoga and meditation for a long time, look absolutely calm and unperturbed? Where does their irritation go? Maybe their peaceful appearance is just a mask, and when no one sees them, they enthusiastically beat the punching bag, taking out their anger? I don't think so.

The cause of negative emotions is internal tension

So, what is the difference between controlling emotions and suppressing emotions?

Let's try to figure this out. Negative emotions can be divided into two types, according to the source of their occurrence.

Emotions caused by internal tension

This applies to those cases of hypertrophied reaction to external irritations as a result of accumulated tension. These are exactly the cases when we say “I’m boiling.” It's been a difficult day, you've got a lot of problems, you're exhausted, your body is tired. Even the most insignificant situation, to which you usually react calmly, can now cause you to become violently irritated. This tension yearns to come out.

What can you do here?

1) Give vent to this tension: lash out at someone, punch walls, etc. Many, as I wrote at the beginning, see this as the only option for getting rid of tension. This is wrong. Imagine a boiling pan on the stove: the water is bubbling and foaming, trying to overflow the walls of the pan. You can, of course, do nothing and wait until some of the water spills onto the stove and extinguishes the gas, stopping the boiling. But in this case, there will be less water in the pan. The main thing is that no one gets scalded!

A more “economical” option is to simply turn off the gas as soon as boiling occurs. Then we will save some of the water that would have spilled if we had not done this. We can give the cat a drink, water flowers, or quench our own thirst with this water, that is, use it for good, and not put out the gas.

The water in the pan is your energy; when you try to find a way out of the created tension, you waste energy; when you simply calm down and extinguish the tension, you save energy. Your internal energy resources are universal: both negative and positive emotions are fed from the same source. If you spend energy on negative experiences, then you have less energy for everything else that is more useful and less destructive. The saved energy can be directed anywhere: for creativity, for development, etc.

It seems to me that “negative” and “positive” energy are simply two different states of the same thing. Negative energy can be converted into positive and vice versa.

Just giving vent to your emotions: falling into hysterics, starting to scream, cry - this is not working with feelings. Because this way you don’t come to any useful result. This only gives temporary relief, but does not teach you how to control your emotions. Intemperate, angry people constantly scream and lash out. Despite the fact that they always give vent to accumulated feelings, this does not make them better or calmer.

Therefore, a much more efficient option is:

2) Relieve stress: take a relaxing bath, play sports, meditate, do breathing practices, etc. I’m sure everyone can remember situations in their life when they were irritated and on the verge of a breakdown, but the calming environment and the presence of close people brought them to a peaceful state. Anger and irritation went away along with the tension. Emotions, however, were not suppressed, since their source—tension—was eliminated. By getting rid of it, you can completely get rid of negative emotions.

In other words, we turned off the gas under the pan trembling due to the boiling liquid in it. We saved water, i.e. energy.

I know from myself what severe moral exhaustion you can come to if you give in to negative emotions: constantly think, worry, worry, don’t let it out of your head. But if you pull yourself together in time and calm down, you can save a lot of nervous energy.

Therefore, it is good to be able to “turn off the gas”, but even better, keep it always off:

3) Avoid tension. The basis of controlling emotions is to bring your mind, your nervous system into such a state that external circumstances do not provoke tension within. I believe that this is the secret of equanimity in those who practice yoga and meditation. The gas under the pan for these people is always turned off; no circumstances can cause ripples on the surface of the water. They retain a large supply of energy within themselves, not wasting it on meaningless experiences, but use it for their own benefit.

In this state, negative emotions do not arise at all (ideally)! Therefore, here, especially, there can be no talk of any suppression, there is simply nothing to suppress! So when do we suppress emotions? Let's go further, there is another source of emotions.

Emotions as a reaction to external circumstances

These are those negative feelings that are provoked mainly by the external environment, and not by tension. In principle, the difference can be said to be arbitrary, since all negative emotions are simply a reaction to something. For us, events themselves cannot exist; there is only our perception of these events. We may or may not be annoyed by small children - it's all a matter of our perception. But the difference between emotions of the first type and emotions of the second type is that the former arise when we are tense and are associated mainly with our tension, and the latter can appear when we are calm and relaxed.

These emotions reflect our reaction to some external problem situations. Therefore, they are not as easy to cope with as the feelings of the previous type. It is not always possible to simply pull them out of the socket (relieve the voltage), since they require solving some external or internal problems. Let's give an example.

It seems to you that your girlfriend (or boyfriend) is constantly flirting with others, casting flirtatious glances at other members of the opposite sex. Are you jealous. What can you do here?

1) Just “score.” You don't want to deal with family problems for various reasons. Either you are afraid of admitting to yourself some feelings, or you are so worried about your work that you do not have time and energy to resolve family issues, or you are simply afraid of the unpleasant experiences associated with explaining and having an unpleasant conversation with your partner. other half. Anything is possible. Often you forget about jealousy, try to push thoughts away, distract yourself with work or other things. But this feeling inevitably returns... Why?

Because you pushed your emotions deep and did not give them the time and attention they required. This is what is called suppressing emotions. This is exactly the case. There is no need to do this, since suppressed emotions will still come back to you like a boomerang. It is much better to solve the problem, to face it with an open visor.

2) Understand the problem. This is a smarter approach. What possible solutions could there be?

You can talk to your significant other and raise this topic. Try to understand, either your significant other is really abusing the attention of the opposite sex, or this is your personal paranoia, that is, some kind of irrational idea that in no way reflects what is actually happening around. Depending on what conclusion you come to, you can either make some kind of joint decision or work with your paranoia.

We, in the context of this question, are only interested in the last option: getting rid of unconscious jealousy, for which there are no reasons in reality (let’s imagine that you received confirmation of this: your girlfriend is not flirting with anyone - it’s all in your head). You are convinced that there is no reason for your feelings, that jealousy is based on some kind of mania, an idea (“she cheats on me with everyone she meets”). You stopped believing in this idea and, every time thoughts of infidelity enter into you, you do not let them go. This is not suppression of feelings, since you got rid of the absurd idea that was at their basis and solved some internal problem.

Feelings may continue to arise due to inertia, but their influence on you will be much weaker than before, and it will be easier for you to take control of them. You didn't suppress your emotions because you brought them into the light of day, sorted them out and dissected them. Suppressing emotions is ignoring a problem, fearing to solve it. And working with emotions involves analyzing your feelings and taking actions aimed at getting rid of their source (external or internal problem).

The same applies to other negative emotions that are caused by absurd ideas such as envy and pride (“I should be better, richer and smarter than everyone else,” “I should be perfect”). If you get rid of these ideas, it will become easier for you to cope with these emotions.

Do we need strong experiences?

A person is not able to exist without emotions, this is a fact. He simply will not be able to make any decisions, he will lose all motivation. The desire to have more money, to be happy, not to be in danger of life - all this is of an emotional nature. My desire to share my experience about self-development with people and write this blog also comes from emotions.

But you need to know when to stop everything; if you don’t work with emotions, you can seriously spoil them. For many people, the need for emotional stress exceeds all reasonable limits. They experience an exaggerated desire to constantly expose themselves to strong experiences: to suffer, to fall in love, to experience anger (“torture your flesh with a touching knife” - as one song says). If they fail to satisfy their emotional hunger, then life begins to seem gray and boring. Emotions for them are like drugs for a drug addict.

My point is that, probably, a person still needs some kind of emotional work, just like food. But, which is true both for the need for food and the need for feelings, hunger should not turn into gluttony!

If a person gets used to constantly searching for strong emotions, then the water that flows along the riverbed (we turn to the old metaphor) gradually erodes the banks, the riverbed becomes wider and more and more liquid flows along it, at the moment of disturbance of the water. The more you get used to strong experiences, the more you begin to need them. There is an “inflation” of the need for emotions.

Still, in our culture the role of strong experiences is overestimated. Many people think that everyone simply needs to constantly bombard themselves with intense experiences: “you have to fall in love, you have to feel it,” many say. I don’t think that our whole life comes down to just strong feelings and that’s what makes life worth living. Feelings are temporary, it’s just some kind of chemistry in the brain, they pass without leaving anything behind, and if you constantly expect strong shocks from life, then over time you become their slave and subordinate your entire existence to them!

I do not encourage my readers to turn into emotionless robots. You just need to know when to stop your emotions and limit their negative impact on your life.

Is it possible to get rid of only negative emotions?

I do not at all believe that a person simply needs to sometimes experience negative emotions in order to function normally. Moreover, I do not agree with the opinion that if a person gets rid of negative emotions, he will also not be able to experience positive feelings. This is also one of the objections that I have come up against more than once. Like, emotions are a pendulum and if its deviation decreases in one direction, it will inevitably lead to the deviation decreasing in the other direction. Therefore, if we suffer less, then we will also have to rejoice - less.

I don't quite agree. I used to be a very emotional person and the amplitude of my emotional fluctuations extended from deep despondency to some kind of nervous enthusiasm! After several years of meditation, the condition stabilized. I began to experience much less negative emotions. But I wouldn’t say that I became less happy, on the contrary. My mood is elevated at almost every moment. Of course, I no longer experience almost manic bouts of enthusiasm, but my emotional background is always filled with some kind of feeling of quiet joy, gentle happiness.

In general, I cannot deny that the amplitude of the pendulum swing has decreased: my mood experiences “peak” states much less often, but, nevertheless, my state can be characterized as consistently positive. My pendulum is still moving much more in the positive direction!

Instead of throwing in a bunch of theories, metaphors and parables here, I decided to describe my experience. I must say that I would not exchange a single second of this quiet joy that fills me now for a whole burst of blissful inspiration that I could experience a few years ago!

Having experienced any emotion, a person must express it in thoughts, facial expressions, gestures, and actions. This is the nature of emotions, they originate in us and manifest through us. If an emotion is not expressed, it means that it is suppressed. Suppression of emotions is a mental process in which a person does not allow his emotions to manifest themselves.

As noted in, negative emotions negatively affect a person and destroy his life and health. A short-term outbreak of negative emotion cannot cause significant harm to a person’s health.

Only frequent experiences of fear, despondency, anger, sadness and similar emotions lead to mental and physical health disorders. This condition is caused by constant suppression of emotions.

The process of suppressing emotions can be divided into several stages, according to the degree of damage to human health:

Control of emotions

We have to control our emotions when expressing them is inappropriate or will lead to undesirable consequences.

Most readers have probably had occasions when, during their student years, they had to suppress laughter during lectures, otherwise the teacher might get angry and kick him out of the classroom. Or there is a meeting at work, where the boss does not show himself in the best way and if you try to object to him, you can make an enemy for yourself or may even get fired.

Control of emotions in itself cannot be called something bad; on the contrary, this quality allows all people to coexist peacefully. A timely, restrained outburst of anger or discontent can save a person from many problems in life.

If a person, after an event when he had to control his emotions through an effort of will, does not find a way to express them, cannot relieve stress, or free himself from accumulated negativity, then his attention becomes fixated on the negative experience.

From time to time, a person remembers a stressful situation, reliving the experienced emotions, causing his body to experience pain.

Muffling feelings

This stage begins when we do not find a way to let go of our negative experiences. Feelings of guilt, shame, resentment or self-pity constantly attract our attention to the events of the past. Time after time, we have to experience heartache again.

None of us want to live with the feeling of pain every day, so we begin to dull our feelings. We begin to suppress painful sensations, as if not to feel them. In a state of dull pain, a person finds relief, but it is only temporary.

You cannot deceive nature; suppressed emotions require expression. Clogged emotions, unable to find a way out, begin to destroy a person’s body, depleting his vitality.

Sooner or later, a mentally exhausted person will no longer be able to contain the accumulated negativity within himself, and then the dam will break, emotions will find their expression in quarrels, scandals, and mental breakdowns.

Extreme suppression

At this stage, a person has been suppressing his feelings and emotions for a long time. Since emotions do not allow one to forget about themselves, they have to be suppressed even more. A person drowns out his feelings, his negative experiences and emotions associated with them as much as possible, trying to lock them in the deepest basement of his subconscious.

To achieve this, various forms of suppression are used: alcoholism, drug addiction, smoking, overeating, and the like. Almost all bad habits can be used. Until a person stops the process of suppressing emotions, it is impossible for him to get rid of his vices.

The process of self-destruction is activated and manifests itself externally in the form of stress, absurd accidents and bad luck. Imagine a kettle on the stove, in which water is constantly boiling, and there is nowhere for the hot steam to escape.

Likewise, a person is literally seething with suppressed emotions, but he himself no longer feels it, does not realize it. The internal state is manifested in events and in the medical record. In appearance, such a person is calm, balanced, but the liver is in trouble and often tense situations occur nearby, people swear or fight.

At this level of suppression, serious health problems occur. Negative emotions are increasingly manifested in mental breakdowns. The human world is changing, the colors of life are dimming, everything is annoying.

Sedona method (Emotional Release Method), developed by Lester Levenson. Lester Levinson was a very successful producer when he unexpectedly found himself in a clinic with a whole range of cardiovascular diseases. Doctors predicted that he would die soon and/or be bedridden for the rest of his life. But L. Levinson decided differently for himself. He realized that all his problems had their key on the emotional level. Therefore, he developed and applied to himself a very simple and very effective method of “releasing emotions.”

Most people use three ways to deal with their feelings and emotions: suppression, expression and avoidance.

Suppression- this is the worst method, since suppressed emotions and feelings do not go away, but grow and fester inside us, causing anxiety, tension, depression and a whole range of stress-related problems. The repressed energy of these emotions eventually begins to control you in ways that you don't like or control.

Expression- This is a kind of ventilation. By sometimes “exploding” or “losing patience,” we free ourselves from the oppression of accumulated emotions. You may even feel good because it translates energy into action. But this does not mean that you have gotten rid of these feelings, this is just temporary relief. Plus, expressing our emotions can be unpleasant for the person on the receiving end. This, in turn, can cause even more stress as we begin to feel guilty for hurting someone by expressing our natural feelings.

Avoidance- this is a way to cope with emotions, distracting from them through all sorts of entertainment: conversations, TV, food, smoking, drinking, drugs, movies, sex, etc. But despite our attempts at avoidance, all these feelings are still there and continue to take their toll on us in the form of tension. Thus, avoidance is just a form of suppression. It has now been proven that various emotions and desires are reflected in our body in the form of tension (tension, spasms) in very specific areas. By the way, the methods of so-called “body-oriented psychotherapy” are aimed at getting rid of these clamps, sometimes giving absolutely fantastic results that are unattainable with medicinal methods.

Even systematic exercises for complete relaxation of all muscle groups (progressive relaxation method) give very good results in improving the mental and body health and significantly improving mental abilities. Since literally every cell of our body has its own representation in our brain, and any tension in the body naturally has a corresponding excitation zone in the brain.

Thus, the more such excitation zones, the fewer resources the brain has for normal mental activity. It is interesting to note that, according to this theory, “good” feelings and emotions are almost no different from “bad” ones, and also have their own representation in the body and brain. Therefore, the method of releasing emotions is aimed at working with all types of emotions. Many years of practice in its use have already proven the effectiveness and necessity of this approach.

This is a powerful method of training the brain to achieve harmony and even speed up thinking, implemented without any technical means. This is the healthiest way to deal with your emotions. This technique has a cumulative effect. Each time you release emotions, a charge of repressed energy (additional areas of the brain) is released, helping you later think more clearly, be more able to handle all situations more calmly, and in a more productive and healthy way.

Over time, by releasing more and more repressed energy, you can achieve a state of equanimity in which no person or event can throw you off balance or deprive you of a state of calm clarity. Everyone who practices this method notices very rapid positive changes in their mental and physical state. In addition, their life goals and plans became clearer to themselves and more positive.

You should not think that as a result of using the method, a person becomes like an insensitive doll; on the contrary, you regain the ability to experience strong and pure emotions, as in childhood, but without being “glued” to them for a long time. Also, there is no need to specifically practice this method all your life with every emotion. After about three weeks of regular practice, the method becomes automatic and stays with you forever. In the future, it will be enough just to pay attention to your feelings for natural automatic release to occur.

Step one:

Focusing. First, you need to focus on some problem area in your life - something that needs immediate attention. Perhaps this is a relationship with a loved one, parents or children; this could be about your job, your health, or your fears.

Or you can simply ask yourself, “What are I feeling right now? What emotions am I experiencing right now?” You can focus on a problem either before or after your training session. One way you can find out which problem area is you need to work, or what you actually feel now is to reach the “zero level”, that is, simply, deeply relax (using any technique available to you).

Step two:

Feel it. Once you have reached “level zero”, think about what problem you would like to deal with. With focus, identify your feelings about the problem. Once you've completed the first step, go straight to your actual feelings. Ask yourself: "How am I feeling right now?" Lester Levenson discovered that All our emotions and feelings can be divided into nine main categories, or feelings.

Apathy. Many other emotions and feelings result from or accompany apathy. When we ask ourselves how we feel, we may use words such as: bored, useless, lack of self-care, cold, alienated, indifferent, defeated, depressed, discouraged, frustrated, exhausted, forgotten, worthless, hopeless, joyless , indecisiveness, indifference, laziness, lostness, loss, denial, numbness, depression, powerlessness, humility, resignation, stupefaction, disorientation, stuckness, fatigue, distraction, uselessness, pointless effort, low self-esteem. All this, according to Levenson, is a type of apathy.

Grief. We can use words such as: abandonment, resentment, guilt, mental anguish, shame, betrayal, despondency, deception, stiffness, helplessness, heartache, rejection, loss, melancholy, loss, sadness, misunderstanding, breakup, pity, I'm unhappy , remorse, abandonment, remorse, sadness.

Fear. Types of fear include: worry, preoccupation, caution, caution, cowardice, suspicion, timidity, apprehension, confusion, anxiety, nervousness, panic, fright, unsteadiness, shyness, skepticism, stage fright, tension, being overwhelmed.

Passion. This is the "I want" emotion. We can feel: anticipation (anticipation), craving, need, desire, wandering, controllability, envy, futility, greed, impatience, manipulativeness, neediness, obsession, pressure, ruthlessness, selfishness, anger.

Anger. We can feel: aggressiveness, irritation, reasoning, challenge, demandingness, disgust, ferocity, futility, fury, hatred, intolerance, jealousy, insanity, significance, insult, rebellion, resentment, indignation, rudeness, bitterness, severity, stubbornness, stubbornness, gloominess, vindictiveness, anger, rage.

Pride. We may feel: exclusivity, arrogance, arrogance, boastfulness, giftedness, contempt, impudence, criticism, pickiness, judgment, righteousness, inflexibility, self-love, snobbery, luck, superiority, inexcusability, vanity.

Bravery. Varieties of feelings can be the following: enterprise, adventurousness, liveliness, agility, competence, determination, awareness, confidence, creativity, audacity, courage, bravery, determination, energy, happiness, independence, love, motivation, openness, faithful, positivism, resourcefulness, self-sufficiency, stability, solid, strength.

Acceptance (approval). We can feel: balance, beauty, compassion, pleasure, delight, delight, admiration, empathy, friendliness, tenderness, joy, love, openness, receptivity, security, understanding, surprise.

World. We can feel: peace of mind, balance, completeness, freedom, fulfillment, perfection, purity, tranquility, serenity, tranquility (lack of physical stress), integrity.

Step three:

Identify your feelings. Now, with this list in mind, determine how you really feel. Open yourself up, become aware of your physical sensations - do you feel tightness in your chest? Tension in the stomach? Feeling heavy? Heartbeat? As you become aware of your physical sensations, use them as key points to explore your feelings. What word comes to mind?

When this word comes to mind, try to determine which of these nine categories your feeling belongs to. Levenson discovered that the process of releasing feelings is much more effective when the feelings are released in their most “pure” or “distilled” form - as one of the nine designated words. For example, as you explore your problem area, you may decide that your feelings are “hesitation” or “anxiety.”

You can then release your indecisiveness or anxiety and feel some relief. However, if you trace these feelings back to their source, you will find that they fall more into the category of fear than indecision and anxiety. By releasing your fear, you will find that the results are much more dramatic and powerful. It's the same as attacking the problem at the root, or plucking off only part of the upper branches.

Step four:

Feel Your Feelings. Once you have identified your true feelings in relation to your chosen problem area and traced them back to the root, begin to feel your feelings. Let them fill your entire body and mind. If it's grief, you may burst into tears or even sob. If it's anger, you may feel your blood boil, your breathing change, and your body tense. It's wonderful - this is the time to fully experience your feelings and emotions.

Step five:

Could you? Now that you are truly feeling your feelings about any problem area in your life, ask yourself, “Can I let go of these feelings?” In other words, is it physically and emotionally possible for you to allow these feelings to leave you right now? Think about it.

Begin to realize the deep difference between yourself - your "I" and what this very "I" feels now. Sometimes you may feel that your feelings are some kind of energy charge that is in the same place as your body, but in fact, is not your body. Or it is a shadow image that is slightly out of focus, unlike your actual self.

One way or another, at some point, you will clearly feel that your feelings are not really your feelings. And when you begin to feel the difference between your feelings and your Self, you may notice that it is now possible for you to let go of these feelings. If it is unacceptable for you to part with these feelings just yet, feel them for a while longer. Sooner or later you will reach a point where you can say to yourself: “Yes, I could let go of these feelings.”

Step six:

Will you let them go? If you were able to let go of these feelings, the next question you would ask yourself would be, “Will I let go of these feelings?” Think about it again. Often, having the full opportunity to “let go of feelings,” we are actually more likely to “hang ourselves” over them. You may find yourself thinking, "No, I'd rather keep these feelings than get rid of what I'm feeling now." If so, then continue to feel what you feel now. Sooner or later you will reach a point where you can honestly admit to yourself: “Yes, I would let go of these feelings.”

Seventh step:

When? If you were to let go of your feelings, the next question you would ask yourself is: “When?” Similar to the previous steps, at a certain point you will answer: “I would let go of these feelings now.”

Step eight:

Liberation. When you have said to yourself, “Now,” let go of your feelings. Just let them go. In most cases, you will actually feel physical and emotional release when you let them go. You may suddenly burst out laughing.

You may feel as if a heavy burden has been lifted from your shoulders. You can feel a sudden wave of cold run through you. This reaction means that all the accumulated energy from experiencing these feelings has now been released and made available to you as a consequence of the liberation of feelings that you have just made.

Step nine:

Repetition. When you release your feelings, you will want to check yourself: “Are you feeling any feelings?” If any feelings are still present, then go through the whole process again. Quite often, release is like turning on a faucet. You release some, and others immediately appear.

Some of our emotions are so deep that they require multiple releases. Release yourself as often as you can until you find that you cannot detect any sign of emotion in yourself.

Liberation of desires.

After enough practice in releasing emotions, moving in each session from specific feelings to one of the nine basic emotions, you may find that it is even more useful to turn to the deeper levels of your Self - the claims of your EGO - desires.

According to Levinson, the source of all our emotions, which we divided into 9 basic categories, are two even deeper levels - desires. I - desire for approval, self-affirmation; II - desire to control. Every act of desire is an indicator that you do not have what you want. In Levinson's words: "What we don't have is hidden in our desires." It may be confusing at first: what’s wrong with wanting approval and control? In fact, as already noted, to want means not to have. It turns out that often the desire to have something actually prevents us from having it.

Great wish.

Those who have conscientiously completed all levels and want to move even further ultimately come to the conclusion that at the heart of all our desires lies one big desire - the “desire for security.” After some time, working through this desire takes us to a new transcendental level, described in various esoteric teachings as the highest stage of enlightenment. A person who has reached this level exhibits various extraordinary abilities and capabilities.

No matter how hard we try, sometimes it is difficult for us to avoid negative emotions. Or maybe it’s not necessary? What to do with them and how to deal with them? This is what we are talking about today.

Negative emotions can lurk around every corner. There are times when you feel like you're about to explode or lash out at someone else, or when every little thing can irritate you. But negative emotions are not limited to anger and irritation: fear, envy, despondency - this is not the whole spectrum. So how to deal with emotions so as not to harm yourself or your interlocutor? How to curb yourself? Let's take a closer look at possible options for working with negativity.

How to get rid of negative emotions?

Accept your emotions. Unfortunately, from childhood we are often taught that we cannot experience negative emotions, we cannot cry and “give up,” we are condemned for showing so-called “wrong” emotions, and as we grow up, we learn to block them. However, it is very important to understand that emotions are a kind of signal from your psyche, a response to the environment and external stimuli. Therefore, it is necessary to accept the fact that you should not subjectively divide them into good and bad. This is useful information that you need to learn to read. Don’t scold or reproach yourself for them, because in this way you only increase the amount of negative experience you experience, going in circles. Allow yourself to experience them, don't try to get rid of them. This does not mean that when you feel angry towards an unpleasant person, you can give free rein to your emotions and attack him, no. This means the fact of accepting these emotions. Are you choked by tears, but you can’t afford them because “men don’t cry” or “you need to be strong/strong”? Nothing like this. Give vent to the negativity. It's no secret that after crying, a person really feels better.

How to throw out negative emotions

Are you experiencing severe anger or irritation? Offense from misunderstanding? Often in such situations we have a strong desire to throw something against the wall, breaking it into pieces, or scatter things, making a real mess. You can give vent to such negativity, but it is not at all necessary to do all of the above.

Redirect your energy and negative emotions into another, more useful direction. For example, you can “blow off steam” in the gym. Sport allows many people to cope with negative emotions, because in addition to the fact that it is an excellent and very useful way to give emotions an outlet, also during sports, endorphins are produced in our body - hormones of happiness. A great way to cheer up, isn't it?

And on top of that, in big cities today you can find excellent services for those who want to vent their anger - dish breaking services. Therefore, if you still want to smash something into pieces, think about this option.

Another possible option for “redirecting” emotions in another direction is humor. A complete reconfiguration of emotions to laughter, which, like playing sports, also contributes to the production of endorphins in our body, which means it will also make you a little happier. You've probably seen, if not in real life, then in movies, that people tend to suddenly burst out laughing in difficult and sometimes hopeless circumstances, and for good reason.

Experiencing negative emotions

You can also try a completely different way to eliminate negative emotions. Try to take advantage of the situation that caused such an emotional reaction in you, perceive it as a new experience gained. Are you angry at your friend for being late? But you have a couple of extra minutes to breathe in the fresh spring air or admire the world around you, and maybe you’ll have time to finish reading the last couple of pages of the book and won’t have to put it off until later. Are you offended by your partner because he doesn’t want to go to a noisy party with you, but prefers to stay at home? It doesn’t matter, think about how many opportunities you have to spend time alone with your loved one. There are always many opportunities, in any situation, just try not to be led by your negative emotions. As soon as you see the benefits in the current situation, negative emotions will dissolve on their own.

And if everything is quite easy with acceptance, then with understanding them it is much more difficult. When experiencing negativity, try to figure it out by asking yourself the right questions, where did this negativity come from and why? When you're angry at a friend for being late for a meeting, think about whether you're actually angry because you can't control the situation? It is very important to understand what causes you to experience negative emotions, because with an understanding of the reasons comes an understanding of what to do next. For example, in the same situation with a friend who is late, you will have a choice: should you be angry and offended at the person for not fitting into your ideal picture of the day? The choice is yours.

In addition to the above, there is another possible option for working with negative emotions, and this option will probably require more of your effort. Take action. Having understood the cause and nature of your negative emotions, you can actively work with them. So, even after understanding the true reason for your irritation towards your delayed friend, try to talk to him, explain how this situation affects you. Or perhaps you are offended by your husband/wife because he/she devotes little time and attention to you? Try to talk to the person, use dialogue to explain the situation to your partner and talk about what exactly offends you. Together, you can probably solve this problem, and with the solution of the problem, negative emotions will go away. Of course, quietly being offended, accumulating resentment and other negativity, is much easier than finding the strength to have a frank conversation, and often we deliberately prefer to remain captive of negative, but such familiar emotions.

As you can see, there are different ways to deal with negative emotions. You can give them a way out, redirect them in a different direction, work through them or the current situation, but the main thing that you need to learn for the future is that there are no bad emotions, and that it is normal to experience negative emotions, because you are alive Human.

The hardest thing is to hold back strong negative emotions, not allowing yourself to discharge. It has long been known that reserved people who hide their feelings from others are susceptible to diseases such as stroke and heart attack. Those who splash out their emotions on others at every opportunity save their cardiovascular system. Only at the expense of the nervous system of others. How can one learn to give vent to emotions without causing harm to others?

There is a proven way to discharge - tears. They are the healing response to the human body that brings temporary relief. If you are embarrassed to cry in public, then there is no need to be ashamed of tears in front of yourself. Cry more often, and more until this need passes.

Having a conversation partner is a proven way to get rid of negative emotions. Tell a friend or loved one what is happening to you.

There is a special technique: you talk about failures, unfair treatment of others towards you, etc., first to a loved one (spouse, mother), then to a neighbor, friend, girlfriend, anyone who agrees to listen to you. The intensity of emotions will decrease each time. And if at first you told the story tearfully and your voice broke from sobs, in the end you will tell the same event more calmly.

If you haven’t found an interlocutor, then perhaps a psychotherapist or psychologist will do.

A real-life example: I once chose tours to the USA, spent a long time selecting the program, accommodation and hotels, excursions. This was supposed to be my best vacation ever - a month of exciting travel around the United States. But for unknown reasons, my vacation was canceled - and all my prepayments for all tourist services, air travel were burned, my visa was burned... My grief knew no bounds, I was angry, nervous, subconsciously and sometimes even consciously spoiled my work - and even got sick from the negativity, which “corroded” my soul. In the end, my friends sent me to a psychologist, the person referred me, helped me free myself from anger both at my boss and at work. Then I simply changed my job, planned a tour to the USA again and spent an unforgettable vacation. Everything was fine, but we just needed to talk!