Soul binding 04.11.2017

Dear readers, probably all of us have sometimes had the thought that it is already too late for something in life. So you won’t be able to buy a house by the sea, as you once dreamed of, you won’t have another child, you won’t be able to travel around the world with just a backpack on your back. And sometimes we experience similar feelings regarding something vital; it seems to us that it’s too late to change something in our marital status, in our work, it’s too late to move, it’s too late to start thinking about health...

But is everything really so hopeless? Is it really too late to live? Or does life have opportunities in store for us in such a case? This is exactly what we will talk about today in the section. Its host is Elena Khutornaya, a writer, blogger, author of intuitive cards, and I give the floor to Lena.

Greetings, dear readers of Irina’s blog.

We all from time to time catch ourselves feeling that it is too late to change something in life. This means it’s too late to make your dreams and desires come true - you wanted something, but now that’s it, the train has left, maybe only in the next life...

Not a very pleasant experience - probably everyone will agree with me on this. There is something so hopeless in them, a feeling of some kind of deception, as if life promised something, teased, but did not fulfill its promises, took away hope. What about without hope? Without it, everything always becomes so gray and dull... And even if there are other joys in life, but something important is missing, we will always be haunted by a feeling of dissatisfaction, refuting all claims that we came into this world to be happy.

Why do we decide it's too late to live

But does the life of the liar have anything to do with it? Or is it time to look inside yourself again? After all, no matter how disappointed we may experience, life is truly such that if we are given desires, then they are accompanied by opportunities to realize these desires. So why does it sometimes begin to seem to us that it is too late to dream that some of them will come true?

And the reasons may be different.

Age

Realizing our age, we increasingly begin to tell ourselves that it is too late for love, too late to change jobs, too late to learn new things, too late to change our attitude towards something or someone, too late to forgive. Time is up, and we just have to be content with what we have.

Circumstances

They are such that we cannot influence them, and even if we can influence them, we are afraid of the consequences of this and prefer to leave everything as it is.

Lack of opportunities

This can concern anything - finances, time, support. They are not there, and they have nowhere to come from, and we decide that this will forever prevent us from getting what we want.

The most interesting thing is that all these reasons have one thing in common.

In fact, all the obstacles to our desires are in our heads.

All the obstacles that we see in front of us are only our own limitations, unbelief and lack of true desire. All real desires are sure to come true, and neither age, nor circumstances, nor lack of opportunity can interfere with this.

Examples from life

I think we can all remember moments in our own lives when it seemed to us that the best thing that could happen in life had already happened, so there was no need to wait for more. And it didn’t depend on age or circumstances, didn’t it?

I myself have experienced this situation several times. In my twenties, I decided that all the best holidays of my life were behind me, and nothing like this would ever happen again.

At thirty, I was sure that it was too late for me to dream of love - there was only a boring, dull life ahead, and all I could do was come to terms with it. You will laugh, but I really thought that I was too old for such experiences, mainly physically. Now, nine years later, this makes me laugh, but then it quite seriously seemed to me that my youth was gone forever, and there was definitely no time for laughter.

Of course I was wrong. And the holidays in my life were still wonderful, and I found my love, and it turned out that it was not too late to live and love.

And you yourself will probably remember a lot of examples from your life and from the lives of relatives and friends, when at some point we decided that it was already useless to dream and desire something, but then suddenly there were opportunities to get what we wanted in the most unexpected way, bypassing everyone obstacles that we saw on our way. And this only confirms once again that everything that happens in life depends not on external circumstances and parameters, but only on our internal state.

Don't stop yourself from dreaming

Someone might say that there is still a big difference between what happens to us at thirty and, for example, at sixty. But by and large this is an illusion. Even at twenty years old we can be sure that for us it’s all over and it’s too late to live, but for others, on the contrary, at fifty life is just beginning. At any age, we can justify the hopelessness of our situation by the lack of opportunities or the circumstances in which we find ourselves. But in the end, everything depends only on our own perception and attitude towards life.

The real reason for our inability to get what we want is always the same - lack of energy to believe and achieve. If you have this energy and desire, then don’t bother yourself – it means it’s not too late for anything. You shouldn’t invent obstacles for yourself that don’t actually exist.

No matter what anyone says, no matter how much it contradicts what we ourselves are used to believing, the main thing that matters is our willingness to dream and make our dreams come true.

How to start living again

So it's never too late to start living. Check your desires for truth, fill yourself with energy, follow yourself, look for ways to get what you want. Be realistic, but know how to dream, and every desire will definitely come true.

Don't worry about how it will happen, don't try to plan everything. But rest assured, life will have a suitable answer to any of our requests, if only we are open, sincere, and bright in our souls. Let's trust life - and it will do everything for us.

Even if you don't have enough energy to believe in your dreams, at least lie in their direction.

Have a dream? Run to her! Does not work? Go to her! Does not work? Crawl to her! Can not? Lie down and lie in the direction of your dreams!

For such cases, there is a good way to get into the right mindset: if you can’t openly and freely desire something, well, you can’t believe that it can come true, but at the same time this dream still entails, think about what you would like to want it . It may sound strange, but it works great.

Well, I can’t dream that I will still visit Rio de Janeiro, but how great it would be if I could believe that this will happen!

And remember - everything that needs to happen will definitely happen. What doesn’t happen is not necessary. It's never too late because that's what we're here for - to live. And while we're here, there's always something else we can do.

With warmth,
Khutornaya Elena

I thank Lena for such a good, inspiring topic. Indeed, even if at some point in life there is no strength left to believe that we are still capable of something, we must always remember that such a state is temporary. And that if we want, we open up, then strength, desires, and faith will come again that many good things will happen to us. Because it’s true, it’s never too late to live, and everything depends only on us - whether we breathe deeply or just drag out existence. I am sure that you and I, my dears, will make the right choice.

You may also be interested in other articles on the topic:

And it will sound for the soul OMAR AKRAM - Never Let Go

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19 comments

Answer

One of the most valuable things in our life is experience. We all want to be self-confident, independent and wise, forgetting that wisdom comes with age and experience. And for the sake of this experience you need to go through a lot.

This is why the experience of older people is very important. The life lessons they teach are some of the most valuable knowledge.

We bring to your attention 50 life lessons shared by Barry Davenport, a wise author of a foreign blog.

Life is what it is now. We constantly expect incredible things to happen in the future, but we forget that life is happening right now. Learn to live in the present moment and stop hoping for illusions in the future.

Fear is an illusion. Most of the things we fear will never happen. But even when they happen, they often turn out to be not as bad as we thought. For many of us, fear is the worst thing that can happen. The reality is not so scary.

Relationship rule. The most important thing in your life is your loved ones. Always put them first. They are more important than your job, hobby, computer. Appreciate them as if they are your whole life. Because that's how it is.

Debt isn't worth it. Spend your money according to your means. Live freely. Debt won't allow you to do this.

Your children are not you. You are the vessel that brings children into this world and cares for them until they are unable to do so themselves. Train them, love them, support them, but don't change them. Every child is unique and must live their own life.

Things collect dust. The time and money you spend on things will one day ruin you. The fewer things you have, the more free you are. Buy wisely.

Fun is underrated. How often do you have fun? Life is short and you need to enjoy it. And stop thinking about what others will think when you feel good. Just enjoy it.

Mistakes are good. We often try to avoid mistakes, forgetting that they are what lead us to success. Be prepared to make mistakes and learn from your mistakes.

Friendship requires attention. Protect your friendship like an ornamental plant. It will pay off.

Experience comes first. If you can’t decide whether to buy a sofa or go on a trip, always choose the second. Joy and positive memories are much cooler than material things.

Forget about anger. The satisfaction from anger goes away after a few minutes. And the consequences can last much longer. Listen to your emotions and when anger comes, take a step in the opposite direction.

And remember kindness. A small dose of kindness can do wonders for those around you. And it requires little effort from you. Practice this daily.

Age is a number. When you're 20, you think 50 is a nightmare. But when you're 50, you feel like you're 30. Our age shouldn't dictate how we approach life. Don't let the numbers change the real you.

Vulnerability heals. Being open, real and vulnerable is great. This gives people around you the opportunity to trust you and share their emotions with you, and you can share them in return.

Posturing builds walls. Creating an image of another person in order to impress someone will play a cruel joke on you. Very often people see the real you through the image, and this turns them off.

Sport is power. Exercising on a regular basis should become part of your lifestyle. It makes you stronger physically, mentally and emotionally. It also improves health and appearance. Sport is the cure for all diseases.

Resentment hurts. Let her go. There is simply no other correct way.

Passion improves life. When you find any activity you're passionate about, every day becomes a gift. If you haven't found your passion yet, make it a goal to do so.

Travel gives experience and expands consciousness. Traveling makes you more interesting, wiser and better. They teach you how to interact with people, their habits and cultures.

You are not always right. We think we know the answer to every question, but we don't. There is always someone smarter than you, and your answers are not always correct. Remember this.

This will pass. Whatever happens in life, it will pass. Time heals and things change.

You define your purpose. Life is boring without a goal. Decide what is important to you and build your life around it.

Often risk is good. To change your life, you have to take risks. Making smart, risky decisions helps you grow.

Change is always for the better. Life is changing, and you shouldn't resist it. Don't be afraid of change, go with the flow and take life as an adventure.

Thoughts are unreal. Thousands of thoughts fly through your head every day. Many of them are negative and scary. Don't trust them. These are just thoughts and they will not become reality unless you help them.

You can't control others. We want the people around us to behave the way we want them to. But the reality is that we cannot change other people. Respect the uniqueness and independence of each person.

Your body is a temple. We all have something we hate about our bodies. But our body is the only thing that belongs only to us. Treat him with respect and take care of him.

Touch heals. Touch has many positive properties. They normalize the heartbeat, improve well-being and relieve stress. This is a gift meant to be shared.

You can handle it. It doesn't matter what situation is in your head. The reality is that you can handle it. You are much stronger and wiser than you think. You will get through this and survive.

Gratitude makes a person happier. And not only to the one to whom gratitude is addressed, but also to the one who says it. Don't forget to thank people for everything they do for you.

Listen to your intuition. Your judgment is very important, but intuition is your superpower. She uses your experience and life model to find the answer to any question. Sometimes it arises spontaneously, and it is better to listen to it.

Remember yourself first. Don't be narcissistic, but remember that the most important person to you is yourself.

Being honest with yourself is freedom. Be honest with yourself. Self-deception is blinding oneself.

Ideals are boring. Perfectionism will make your life boring. Our differences, characteristics, phobias and shortcomings are what make us unique. Remember this.

Take action to find purpose in life. She won't find herself. Help her with this and do everything possible to find the target.

Small things are important too. We all expect big victories and achievements, forgetting that they consist of small and sometimes even imperceptible steps. Appreciate these steps.

Learn. Always. If you think that you know at least 1% of everything that is in our world, then you have never been more mistaken. Learn every day, learn something new about different things. Studying keeps our brain sharp, even in adulthood.

Aging is inevitable. Our bodies age and we cannot stop them. The best way to slow down aging is to enjoy life and live each day to the fullest.

Marriage changes people. The person with whom you have connected your life will change over time. But so do you! Don't let these changes take you by surprise.

Worry is pointless. You should only worry if it leads you to a solution to the problem. But the nature of worry is such that this will never happen. Worry shuts down your brain and you are simply unable to resolve the situation. So learn to cope with anxiety and try to get rid of it.

Heal your wounds. Don't let wounds from your past affect your present life. Don't pretend they don't mean anything. Find support from loved ones or those who professionally treat emotional trauma.

Simpler is better. Life is full of complications, confusion and obligations that only make it worse. A simple life gives space for joy and favorite activities.

Do your job perfectly. If you want to achieve anything in life, you have to work. Of course, there are rare exceptions, but don't count on them. Rely on yourself.

It's never too late. Late is just an excuse for not trying. You can achieve your goals at any age.

Actions heal sadness. Any action is a cure for worries, procrastination, melancholy and anxiety. Stop thinking and do something.

Do what you want. Be proactive. Don't wait for life to throw you a bone. You may not like its taste.

Let go of your prejudices. Don't be attached to society's opinions or beliefs. Be open to any opportunity or idea. You will be surprised how many opportunities life gives you if you don't reject them.

Words matter. Think before you speak. Don't use words to hurt someone. Once you do this, there is no turning back.

Live every day. When you are 90 years old, how many days will you have left? Live and appreciate each of them.

Love is the answer to every question. Love is why we are here. This is the force that moves the world. Share it and express it every day. Make the world a better place.

Sometimes, looking back, we think that life has practically passed us by and it’s too late to start anything. You can no longer get a new education, change your habits and character. You are afraid to learn new hobbies, make new acquaintances, because you have written yourself off. Boy, what the hell? You can always start over as long as you wake up in the morning and your prostate is functioning. So that this does not sound like election slogans, we have prepared some tips that you should know about.

Realize that you live in the present

How many people live with past problems, constantly worry about the future, but forget about the present? The anchors of the past prevent us from fully setting our sails and setting off, and the future looks like a rocky shore on which our ship of hopes and aspirations can be broken, which is why we invariably change course not for the better. The problem is that: we don’t enjoy the moment we are living now; We don’t squeeze the maximum emotions out of today in fear of retribution tomorrow.

Do you want to start your own business, revive your favorite hobby and relationship with a person? Don’t think about the difficulties that await you, but just go towards your dream. Difficulties are inevitable, but you must be willing to overcome them to create a bright future.

Everything can always be changed

You may think that many mistakes cannot be corrected. Each mistake has its own consequences, which you don’t want to face again. But this is the psychology of weaklings, and you’re not like that, are you? Focus on one problem and solve it. Every day is a new opportunity to change something. Of course, everything won’t work out at once, but by solving problem after problem, you won’t notice how the storm clouds will disappear from your life, and a rainbow will appear in the sky after a long rain and the long-forgotten Sun will appear.

The future is uncertain

And that makes it wonderful. You won't know how an endeavor will end until you try. Maybe you always dreamed of writing a book, but you were afraid that you would be laughed at and your views would be mixed with dirt. But how do you know this? Until you try, you won't know. Perhaps, because of your insecurity, the world will lose a wonderful author, or perhaps this is really not yours, but believe me, everything will not be as scary as it seems. People are by nature very suspicious and think that the world revolves only around them, but sometimes, fortunately, this is not the case.

You can always improve yourself

Many regrets because of what we do make us give up. Everyone tends to feel sad, but sadness should not be allowed to turn into depression. Also, each of us has experienced failure, but what matters is how quickly you can recover from it and start over. The most important thing is that there is always an opportunity to improve yourself. It doesn't matter if you're a winner or a loser today, you can improve. A person who is constantly developing can always look into the future with optimism, and the skills gained from working on oneself will allow one to use every opportunity for new beginnings.

My sister read an advertisement in the newspaper that a notary urgently needed an assistant who could quickly type texts blindly on a computer. And she called me: “You type well and have always dreamed of law. Try it, maybe this is your chance!” I really dreamed of becoming a lawyer since my youth. But suddenly, at almost 50 years old, turning away from the path that I had followed for most of my life... It was very strange, and I was scared.

I am a chemist by training, but while still studying at the institute, I began working in the supply system. This profession fed me, it was not very interesting, but it allowed me to live according to a free schedule. Suppliers were needed everywhere, and I needed to work as close to home as possible - I took care of my parents, who had been seriously ill for a long time...

After 40 years, having already lost my mother and then my father, I thought for the first time that I could change jobs, and maybe get a second education. For the first time, I had free time for myself, and I dreamed and planned. But to make jurisprudence my profession, and even to come straight from the street to a notary’s office and say: “I want to work for you,” I could not even imagine this. After all, for such work you need a law degree, you need to be included in this professional environment from youth...

In seeking fair decisions for myself and my friends, I acted as a self-taught lawyer

What prevented me from taking a decisive step was lack of confidence in my abilities and the fear that at my age I would look ridiculous and pitiful as a beginner.

Nevertheless, everything turned out exactly like this: I, a 49-year-old man who had just undergone several joint surgeries, came to the notary with a stick and said: “Do you need an assistant? Take me! I can touch-type with ten fingers, I’m not a lawyer, but I managed to independently win an arbitration court dispute with a bankrupt bank where my deposit was burned. And I know the laws well.”

I felt confident and for some reason I wasn’t worried at all. I didn’t have big demands for earnings, and I honestly said: “I’m ready to start working in this profession for almost any money...” My future boss listened to me calmly and asked me to complete a test task - type a short text. And then he invited me to work, saying: “Your salary is 14 thousand rubles, if you manage to prove yourself, it will grow.” The next day I became a notary's assistant.

I was happy. For many years I had a double life: at work I was engaged in accounting for material assets, but I spent all my free time studying the laws, and at night I read the Civil Code. The reason for such a passionate interest in law was that for many years I fought against the bureaucracy of officials. In seeking fair decisions for myself and my friends, I acted as a self-taught lawyer.

My passion began with an unsuccessful trip to a notary - when registering an inheritance case, he refused to take into account the benefits that my father, a war veteran, had. I was indignant, studied the law, and the truth was on my side. Then I made a well-founded complaint to the Department of the Ministry of Justice for the Moscow Region, and the arguments had an effect. The notary called and apologized for not understanding the situation... In the end, we even became friends with him. He turned out to be a very competent lawyer.

This incident inspired me. I began to help friends and colleagues: I drafted statements of claim for them, edited the texts of contracts... And I clearly understood that many officials were unscrupulously taking advantage of our legal illiteracy. And you can defeat them with their own weapons, you just need not to be lazy, carefully read the laws, find an interpretation of controversial provisions, and most importantly - competently and clearly state the circumstances of the case on paper.

A bald, middle-aged man - how can I sit at the same desk with the mustacheless boys?

Unexpectedly for myself, I began to enjoy this struggle. Defending the rights of other people, protecting them from injustice, I felt proud when I managed to win the case, prove to the official that no one should be “knocked off” by confusing my head with incomprehensible gobbledygook of legal terms. And now, in a notary office, I began to delve into the work of a legal consultant.

Subscribed to electronic updates on the legislative framework, systematized regulations in various areas of civil law. I read a lot of specialized literature. And I understood more and more clearly that being an amateur lawyer and a professional lawyer are not the same thing. I lacked a system of knowledge, knowledge of the fundamentals of law, and most importantly, without a law degree, there could be no talk of any promotion.

The boss, who always encouraged my enthusiasm, began to increasingly say that I needed to get a law degree. But another year passed before I decided to go to law school. A bald, middle-aged man - how can I sit at the same desk with the mustacheless boys? This thought bothered me and gave me no rest. Afraid of making a mistake in choosing a university, I studied the ratings of institutes, went to exhibitions dedicated to second education, and as a result entered the Institute of State and Law.

It was not long before I admitted at work that I had become a student again - I was embarrassed. It seemed that I couldn’t cope, that it would be difficult to study: not the right memory, not the right attention... But gradually I got involved, in three years of study I only got a B grade once, so now I say with full responsibility: you can study at any age.

A grade in your grades, and now a diploma, is a source of great satisfaction. I liked studying, and studying well. But what is much more important for me is that my professional career is finally moving along a consciously chosen path, and not along a randomly assigned vector, as it was in my youth and then for many, many years. I know I can be proud of myself.

Friends have repeatedly said that it takes serious motivation and a certain courage to start work from scratch, to decide to change professions at 49 years old, when everyone around is talking about a near retirement. But for me it was the other way around. The decision to change careers brought great relief: I no longer have to do boring work just for the sake of money. And I have time to succeed in the profession (fortunately, there are no age restrictions for a notary).

I managed to find my true calling, and this fills my life with meaning that I previously lacked

What I like about the work of a notary is that he is equally removed from all participants in a legal transaction or legal dispute; he stands above the fray. The prosecutor always accuses, the lawyer always defends, the corporate lawyer guards the interests of his organization. And the notary explains the rights and obligations of all parties, like an arbitrator. This independence is what attracts me.

I see my purpose in life precisely in helping people exercise their rights. My professional knowledge allows me to protect them from the arbitrariness of bureaucrats and help restore justice, and this gives me strength and satisfaction.

And I outgrew the supplier’s salary nine months after joining the notary’s office: every quarter my salary was increased. I received my diploma and am now preparing to take the qualifying exam for a professional license. A future as a lawyer seems within my reach. I am quite satisfied with my life and know that I am in the right place.

I managed to overcome fear, overcome my complexes, and I have a powerful incentive: maybe this will sound too loud, but I want to contribute to making our country at least a little more comfortable for people, so that legal nihilism is replaced by respect for the law . In other words, I managed to find my true calling, and this fills my life with meaning that I previously lacked.

In English there is such a term pep talk - inspiring conversation. These are simple truths that have long been known to everyone, spoken at the right moment. So, we have a little pep talk for you about how you can always start from the beginning. Especially since September.

The points you are about to read did not come out of our heads. Their author is a popular life coach in the States, Dr. Miriam Reiss. We have only slightly paraphrased them.

1. Start with the right conclusions about the past

Starting to live in a new way without getting rid of old debts is like not eating sweets after six, having first swallowed your mother’s Napoleon whole. You can, of course, skillfully hide from the internal morality police, but you won’t be able to “loop around” for long.

Before you say goodbye to your old way of life, figure out what you are running from: yourself or objectively stupid circumstances?

Before you say goodbye to your old way of life, figure out what you are running from: yourself or objectively stupid circumstances? I wouldn’t like to spew platitudes, but... you can’t run away from yourself, dude!

2. Cross out the word “too” from your vocabulary.

“I’m too stupid, too fat, too lazy” - the list of “too” excuses can be continued indefinitely.

That's right - you're stupid, fat and lazy.

All wrong! You're just stupid, fat and lazy. And the good news is that this is not a constant value at all. Advice from the cap: smarter (read good books, go to lectures, master classes, talk to smart people), lose weight (sew your mouth shut, run, jump, dance), cheer up (drink some vitamins and, by force of will, get up when the alarm clock calls the first time ).

3. Less fatalism

If you find that your chosen profession does not bring you either money or pleasure, you are still tearing your hair out and screaming that your life is over. It's never too late to get a new specialty. Sometimes you don’t even need to get a second/third/fifth higher education for this; specialized courses from professionals in their field are enough.

If you find that your chosen profession does not bring you either money or pleasure, you are still tearing your hair out and screaming that your life is over. It's never too late to get a new specialty.

Yes, it's a shame. Yes, you will have to continue working at a job you don’t like in order to support your studies. Well, what if I told you, would it be easy?

4. Forget about time

There are no “average” periods of time in which you should achieve something. Just as there is no suitable age to open your own business, go to study, go to live in an ashram or start a family.

There are no “average” periods of time in which you should achieve something.

You need to train not speed, but endurance and willpower. And understand that no one is interested in your life except yourself.

5. Don't let geography fool you

If the business you wanted to do requires changing the picture and time zones, this is not a reason to consider the dream unrealizable. We’ll have to work twice as hard, but “impossible” is not the right word.

6. Take every opportunity to promote yourself