Is it possible to live life without. Can a person live happily all his life alone? Just like others

Here, first, you need to clarify what the author means by loneliness.

If there is complete isolation, even physical isolation - when there is not a soul around, then, most likely, sooner or later - depending on all the given circumstances of such isolation and the character and inclinations of the person himself, he will become a little crazy - well, at least as above we noticed that man is a social being, and this will cause significant harm to the psyche. There are, of course, extraordinary cases such as hermit monks or madly enthusiastic scientists for whom there is nothing except the subject of study (a la Perelman; although strictly speaking, they are not isolated, they do not live on a desert island and there are some everyday social contacts and theirs), but that’s why they are extraordinary, it hardly makes sense to compare them with ordinary people.

If what is meant is precisely a feeling of loneliness - and it doesn’t matter how many acquaintances and friends a person has, the main thing is that he experiences an oppressively heavy feeling of loneliness - then this is very difficult and has a very destructive effect on the psyche of a person, and a person in general, makes him unhappy. You can live like this, there are plenty of examples, but life is mostly bitter.

If we are talking about formal loneliness - when a person is such a giraffe on his own, then with a certain level of self-sufficiency and character, this is completely normal. Sometimes such a person may have few social contacts, while another may populate some small European country with his acquaintances and comrades, this is not the point, the important thing is that he is fundamentally lonely, he has no close connections, no special attachments, and his This is not at all confusing or upsetting. If we talk about such loneliness, then a person can live his whole life like this and not experience discomfort; moreover, often what brings him discomfort is the need to get out of this lonely state, if it suddenly arises.

If we are talking about loneliness in terms of relationships with the opposite (or one’s own, depending on orientation) sex, then everything is more complicated than in the previous paragraph, due to several factors at once: physiological attraction (many deceive themselves and confuse it with desire to be with someone; a small percentage of the population, however, does not have it, this point does not apply to them), traditions (relationships and family are taken for granted, like the fact that children at 6-7 years old go to school, and in the winter they celebrate the New Year), public pressure - both direct ("all your classmates are already married!", "When will you bring us a bride?"), and indirect (relationships, weddings, children - all this is positioned as some kind of that achievement, a necessary achievement, without which you are almost incomplete). But in general, if a person really has no desire to start a relationship (many create the appearance that he doesn’t have it because it doesn’t work out, well, this, in general, also applies to the previous point with communication and friends) and he has sufficiently strong willpower and independence from other people’s opinions, then he can quite calmly live his whole life alone (it’s not prohibited by law, it’s 95% safe... well, okay, that’s subjectivity).

Ecology of consciousness: Inspiration. Do you think you are an adult and choose how to live? My life is my rules, right? There are four ways to live life, four paths you can take.

Do you think you are an adult and can choose how to live your life? My life is my rules, right?

There are four ways to live life, four paths you can take. Tell me where will you be when you cross the finish line?

Oh yes. Everyone dreams of a house under a palm tree and a Pina Colada in hand. Are you sure you need this palm tree? Maybe you can't stand tropical climates and... dreaming of cocktails on the beach just because you saw a couple of beautiful magazine spreads, and all the friends nod:

Yes, yes, it’s cool, you should go to Goa and live for your own pleasure.

But do you, personally, want to go to Goa? Or is it all just other people's thoughts and other people's goals in your head?

So here are some stories to give you an idea of where you'll end up if you follow your chosen road long enough.

1. Somehow

Everyone has such a friend: his name is Vovochka, he is 35 years old, and no one thinks of calling him anything else. Not Volodya, not Vladimir Alexandrovich. Vovochka and that's it.

Vovochka's life goes on as usual. The usual story: I met a girl, started dating, my parents said we should get married. And they got married. Vovochka worked in the police - night duty, no money. In general, it’s also a common story. The wife said:

I don't have enough money, I want to get a divorce.

And they got divorced.

A year later he met another girl, and she said: “I want my boyfriend to be a massage therapist.” And he took massage courses. This is what a police massage therapist looks like. The parents said we should get married, but the girl refused - there was no money. Vovochka has a blocking conflict in her head: should she get married or not? Vovochka is confused.

When asked why he doesn’t go full-time as a massage therapist, why he doesn’t leave the police, improve his qualifications and then open his own office, he is perplexed:

- Is that possible?

2. Like everyone else

Or another friend, his name is Seryoga. He is 32, and he is such a hard worker. He joined the army, came back, got married, and went to work in the riot police. My wife gave birth to twins: I had to get a second job - I went to see my father at the base. The wife gave birth to a third child.

Hurray, son!

Picked up extra shifts at work.

Now he has a garage, his wife has a fur coat, a dog, three children, and he goes shopping to Moscow for the weekend. Proudly says:

We are all like people. The neighbors will turn green with envy - we bought the land, we will build a house.

What about rest, Seryoga? How do you relax? Hunting Fishing?

What fishing! I am busy!

Of course, he has no time: he works for three days - a day off, for three days he works - a day off. And on weekends he builds a house. And my wife wants her own car. And also put the children in clothes and shoes. To make your neighbors jealous! What nonsense - he has no time to rest.

3. Better than others

Another friend of mine is Andrey, and he has everything in chocolate. I have a Montblanc wallet in my pocket and a snowboarding photo from Austria on Instagram. I recently completed renovations in my two-room apartment and was very worried about the Italian kitchen, which took a long time to install. I started as a simple manager, now I am a commercial director. And he is an excellent specialist: he always gets into the essence of the process, and is always busy solving important issues.

But the problems are always the same: they existed two years ago, five years ago, and even seven years ago. When he first came to this company as a young and green manager, these problems were the same.

Just imagine, a person decides the same thing for seven years in a row.

To the question:

- Andrey, aren’t you tired?

He sighs heavily and answers:

- Well, what should we do?

4. In your own way

The question “what to do?” constantly arises in the head of any reasonable person.

Live like Vovochka? How will you have to? Turn into a log and go with the flow? So that someone else, sitting on top of a log, would steer with an oar and help avoid whirlpools?

Be like Seryoga? Buy your wife boots and valuable furs that will make your neighbors jealous? Plow yourself until you're completely exhausted, build a house by age fifty, plant potatoes and wait for the harvest? And all this with the full awareness that life is good: the social program has been completed, and the envious have indigestion.

Try better, do more, be taller, like Andrey? Looking at your surroundings, be content with what you have have a little more than others?

What exactly is the difference between them? One lives aimlessly, another wants to be like everyone else, the third wants to be better than others.

The question is - what do they really want? Each of them has a goal, but whose goal is it? Relatives, wives, your own?

What to do? How to find your way? How to find what you need?

There is only one answer - to do it. Do a lot of stupid things, make mistakes, see that it leads to nothing, change tactics, make mistakes again, but don’t give up and go.

The moment you think about what you really want, the world will turn upside down.

You will most likely be terrified. Because you will understand: you don’t like anything you do now. You don't need anything you're doing now.

Yes, you have where and what to live on, you have a car, fashionable clothes, but for all this you have to pay with your own time. Your own life.

You have to do what you don't want to do in order to be able to live the way you don't want to.

Do you understand the paradox?

Nowadays it is very fashionable to talk about finding your own path. So there is no OWN WAY. It cannot be found or invented. You can only go through it.

Your path is how you achieve the goals that you yourself want to achieve. Goals that you really want, conscious goals. They may not be right for you, when you achieve them you may realize that you want something else. Doesn't matter. The main thing is to go forward and not stop.

Here's another very simple example:

Vitaly worked in an office and got up at 7 am, got ready and went to work. How he hated those early rises! An hour to get to the office in a stuffy, crowded subway car, where the ability to work with your elbows is the main key to survival.

And he found a job near his home: he had to walk 15 minutes, and he got up at 8 in the morning. He spent almost an hour getting ready, and thought it would be great to work from home.

And he found a remote job: he got up at 9 am, turned on the computer - and voila! - He's already at work.

And then he thought it would be cool to get up whenever he wants. And, since all the bosses for some reason believed that the employee should have a strict work schedule, he began to work on his own.

And guess what? For a month he woke up at 11, leisurely drank coffee, had breakfast, and only then started work. But suddenly he realized that he felt sorry for the half of the day that passed while he slept.

And he, of his own free will, began to get up again at 9. It was easy and pleasant, as if he was supposed to be here, at this point. The puzzle has come together.

It doesn't matter how many mistakes you make as long as you find what you really need.

It doesn't matter how many stupid things you do.

The only important thing is that you are moving towards your goals. Precisely by yourself, and not by someone else. It is important that you move forward: set a goal - achieve it, set it - achieve it.

Each goal is a small step towards achieving something bigger, something that you cannot achieve immediately and right now - towards achieving a dream.

And the most important secret is that at any moment in your life you can stop and ask:

- Where do I really want to go? Where do I want to go?

And then suddenly change direction.

But it’s better to do it now than at 50 years old, in the garden, weeding and hilling potatoes.

And give it a like. Necessarily. published

Many people are already tired of suffering, but Is it possible to live life without suffering?, few people even thought about this. After all, no one wants to suffer, but many do not want to do anything to avoid it. In the article, psychologists will tell you the basic principles of why people suffer and why, is it possible to live life without suffering, and if so, how.

Putting tips into practice is more beneficial than wasting time studying them and arguing about their effectiveness.

In fact, it has been proven that we have been living in this world for a long time, all the people who lived here suffered, we are no exception to this. Everything is connected with the fact that we live in an egoistic world, which distinguishes us from the animal world, therefore, we have suffered, are suffering and will suffer as long as we are alive. We were sent to this world to realize the main thing and move to another better level, where there is no such suffering. But, alas, people are busy with their outer world, forgetting about the inner world. This is how the world and nature work, therefore suffering You won’t be able to go away completely, but you can reduce them.

How to live life without suffering

If you are afraid of suffering and want to reduce your suffering, then begin to engage in your internal development, taking some time away from the outside world. Psychologists have proven that suffer more those people who are preoccupied with their external world, having completely forgotten about the most important thing. This is a sign from above for us to pay attention to the most important thing - our inner and spiritual world. Our illnesses, accidents, failures are signs from the Higher Mind that we need to take care of our internal development. After all, those who constantly live only in the external world ask why we don’t know what we really want, since it is impossible to manage in our lives, to achieve everything in external manifestation.

Cause of suffering

There are many reasons suffering, the majority believes that fate is to blame for everything, those who believe believe that this is payment for sins, but everything is actually simpler, our suffering is a consequence of our thoughts, since we ourselves create and create life and suffering for ourselves. By looking at a situation from different angles, we can see suffering on one side and opportunity on the other. This is basically the reason for many disputes and disagreements, since we have not learned to look at situations not only with our own eyes, but also with the eyes of someone who sees a different picture. Cause of suffering– negative thoughts and incorrect views on a given situation, always look through the glasses of opportunity, and not through the glasses of suffering, then life will become happier and more successful.

We were sent into this world not just to kill time and die.

We were sent to live in this world, not to serve time and suffer our sins, we are here to understand ourselves, the world and nature, which is always with us, when all people realize that this world is not permanent, that it is temporary, then everyone will be able to quickly move to the next level of development, where there is no suffering but new achievements in development. Study yourself, but not with the help of egoistic principles, but with the help of nature. You will never be able to become happy by achieving everything in the outer world, since your inner world will make you suffer, because you simply forgot about it, it gives you a sign so that you pay attention to it .

Don't create boundaries or difficulties

Nothing is impossible in life even today, there are many people who are already demonstrating their abilities, but this is only 5% of all human capabilities. You have no idea what a person and his brain are capable of, but due to the fact that we are constantly distracted by the outside world, we cannot focus on our natural abilities. Find yourself and your path to your dream in life in order to overcome internal limitations, as this world is coming to an end, as people began to realize that they have already achieved everything in this world and there is nothing interesting in the outside world. We see, hear and know everything, we are even too lazy to study something new, since we already know what it will lead to. In order not to waste time, take care of yourself and your improvement even in this world, since it also makes sense, since for some reason we all live here.

If you want to avoid suffering and live a full life, you need to develop and work on yourself. Therefore, if you have any difficulties or problems, you can always contact our psychologist or write us your questions in the comments below.

"Live your best life." These four words, made famous by Oprah Winfrey, represent the one and only instructions you should follow to become a happy and successful person. There are many ways to start living your best life.

Steps

Part 1

Find your purpose

Realize your full potential. Put your best effort into everything you do. If you are given a task or working on a project, complete it to the best of your ability. Even if it's not what you want to do, do the best job you can. Giving less than 100% will not bring you any positive emotions or any other reward.

Work on developing the skills you already have and strive to learn new ones.

Look for your place and purpose in life. This is perhaps one of the most difficult steps on the path to a better life, and for many it takes their entire life to find purpose and meaning. Many never fully realize their purpose, but in order to live life to the maximum, this is simply necessary. Think about what talents you were born with, what you especially like to do and what can benefit the world around you.
- The key to finding your place in the world is to be open to your path and take on different things so you can figure out what you enjoy doing. Often this can be something unexpected.
- The best way to determine if you're moving in the right direction is to think about how satisfied you are with your life. If you feel satisfied with your job and your environment day in and day out, on a consistent basis, that's a good sign.
- Finding your place may not be at all connected with a prestigious job or a luxurious lifestyle. All you need is to be in a place where you feel happy and content every day.
- Even if you don't feel like you have any remarkable skills that can lead you to achieve your dreams, you still need to look for your purpose. Perhaps your goal is to help the homeless as a volunteer. If such an activity gives you a deep sense of satisfaction, then it is worth continuing to do it.
Be aware of your own limitations. Recognizing your potential is extremely important, but it is equally important to recognize your limitations. Sometimes persistence in a certain area is not the best choice, since your skills can be much more useful in a completely different matter. Reflect on what you do particularly well and try to use your strengths as often as possible and take them into account when making decisions.
- For example, if you are talented at drawing and have an affinity for other types of art, but are not strong in technology, you should concentrate on those things that require creative energy rather than technical awareness. Then you will achieve greater success and experience more satisfaction from the results of your work.
- But be careful and beware of one-sidedness, rigidity and fear of change.

Part 4

Take action

Lead an active and healthy lifestyle. Living your best life means taking care of your body's health. The better you treat your own body, the longer it will last you. This means that being healthy later in life will allow you to continue to live your best life so that it lasts longer.

Make decisions actively. Think about what you want from your life and strive for it. Develop a plan and follow it step by step. Be confident in making decisions about your daily life and long-term goals. Don't let others force you to make decisions that are against your wishes and not in your best interests.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't fall into the trap of dogma that tells you to live in other people's thoughts. Don't let the noise of other people's opinions drown out your inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you really want to become. Everything else is secondary.
Steve Jobs

We offer 100 ways to live life 100% in order to fill every day with drive, pleasure and achievements in areas that interest you.

1. Every day is a new start. Don't get attached to what happened yesterday, the day before yesterday or later. Today is a new life, and even if something was wrong before, you will definitely try again and again.

2. Be your real self. Stop trying to please other people and be someone else. It is much more interesting to become a unique version of yourself, and not someone else's duplicate.

28. Be positive. The glass really is half full. :)

See life as an adventure and a game. Radiate optimism and give people a smile.

29. Don't talk bad about others. If you don't like something about another person, tell them to their face. In any other case, don't say anything.

30. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Try to see life from another person's perspective. The janitor may have been rude to you this morning, but why did he do it? Probably, no one simply pays attention to him, he is considered service and unnecessary personnel and his work is not appreciated at all. Think about how to make sure he greets you with a smile next time.

31. Show compassion. Really empathize with someone else's problem.

32. Develop unconditional faith in yourself. Believing in yourself means continuing to move forward even when everyone tells you not to.

Analyze your small victories, remember how you went against the grain, remember the pleasure of knowing that you were right and everyone was wrong. If you have something in mind, be sure that everything will work out.

33. Let go of your unhappy past.

34. Forgive those who ask for forgiveness. Don't hold a grudge against people, but know their weaknesses and accept them for who they are.

35. Remove the unimportant. Understand the short-term nature of things like status, fame, recognition. Everything will fall into place if you focus on self-actualization rather than social recognition.

36. Leave relationships that are not helping you.

Remove people from your environment who add unnecessary pessimism to your life.

37. Spend more time with people who inspire and support you. Try to create a circle of active and active like-minded people. It’s really great when you come up with something together and start implementing it within 10 minutes.

38. Build genuine relationships with the people around you: strangers, family, loved ones. Spend time strengthening and improving your relationships.

39. Reconnect with your old friend. No matter what they say, the number of friends is unlimited. Meet people from your past.

40. Have a day of generosity. Think about what you can do today that could make the world a little better.

Doing good to others is the best way to improve your mood.

41. Help people when they need it. Think of this step as a long-term investment. Someday you will receive help without expecting it.

42. Go on a date.

43. Fall in love.

44. Get your life in order. Once a week, month, six months, analyze your progress and progress towards your plans. Adjust your actions based on the results obtained.

45. Don't delay. Get rid of the habit of delaying. Nine out of ten opportunities are missed due to delay in taking action.

46. Help complete strangers. This can determine your destiny in the future.

47. Meditate.

48. Make acquaintances. New opportunities come from new people. Don’t be afraid to force yourself into the circle of people you are interested in and make friends with them.

49. Create strong relationships.

50. Become your advisor from the future. Imagine yourself 10 years from now and mentally ask yourself for better advice regarding difficult decisions. What would you do if you were 10 years wiser?

51. Write a letter to your future self. Believe that in 5-10 years you will laugh even louder at yourself today.

52. Remove excess. From your desk, from your apartment, from your hobbies, from your life. Make room for more important things.

53. Continue. Why do people stop studying after graduating from an educational institution? Studying does not mean sitting behind books. You can learn to drive a car, learn to dance, learn rhetoric, and so on.

The main goal is to keep the brain in constant tension.

54. Develop yourself. Try to identify your weaknesses and develop them. If you are too shy, train yourself to be more sociable and face your fears.

55. Upgrade yourself constantly. Deepen your already acquired knowledge and experience, become an expert in many areas.

56. Constantly try something new. You simply can’t imagine how many more new and interesting things you can experience and feel (do you know what Watsu massage is?).

57. Travel. Pull yourself out of your “work - home, home - work” routine of movement. Discover, of which there are many even in your city. Any journey is always something new.

58. Don't stay in one place. Always live dynamically and try to tie yourself down with repair loans as late as possible.

59. Be the best at what you do. If you realize that you are good in the corporate field, but are far from a star, go from there to a field where the chances of becoming the best and achieving more are much higher. If you have found your calling, become the best there.

60. Break your boundaries. Set the most impossible goal, achieve your plan and come up with something even more impossible. All the tension comes from what someone once told you what is possible and what is not.

61. Absorb and try to bring unusual ideas to life.

62. Create your own space for inspiration. This could be a corner where all your inspiring things are located (books, photos, videos), or a park, cafe or favorite bench. Create your own paradise.

63. Behave in ways that bring you closer to the ideal version of yourself.

64. Create roles in life. Try acting as if you were Bill Gates, Michael Jordan, or some famous and successful person.

65. Find a mentor or guru. Study the life of your guru and try not to repeat his mistakes. Consult with a more experienced mentor.

66. Find your previously invisible strengths.

67. Try to be more conscious.

68. Ask for constructive criticism and advice. You can always see better from the outside.

69. Try to create a passive income stream. This could be interest in a bank, income from renting out an apartment, or something else.

Passive income will give you the opportunity to be more free in your experiments in life and build on what you want, not what you need.

70. Help others live the best life possible. If you see that you can help a person improve their life, be sure to help them find the right path.

71. Get married and have children.

72. Improve the world. Help poor, unhealthy, deprived people of the opportunity to live a normal life.

73. Participate in a humanitarian aid program.

74. Give more than you receive. When you continually give more, you begin to receive a lot more in return over time.

75. Try to see the big picture. Focus on the 20% that generates 80% of the results.

76. Your end goal must be clear. What is she like? Is what you are doing really helping you achieve your goals?

As long as you think about things that bring you closer to your goal, you are on the right track.

77. Always try to find the 20/80 way. Minimum effort, but maximum result.

78. Set your priorities. Sometimes it is more convenient to move by inertia and it is difficult to switch to a more important task, but this very property will make your life much more efficient.

79. Enjoy the moment. Stop. Look. Thank fate for the pleasant things you have at the moment.

80. Enjoy the little things. A cup of coffee in the morning, 15 minutes of sleep in the afternoon, a pleasant conversation with a dear person - all this can be incidental, but try to pay attention to all the small pleasant moments.

81. Take a break. It could be 15 minutes or 15 days.