My good friend has a daughter, Veronica. She will soon turn 2 years old - the very tender age when the baby learns the world and learns to understand it. She runs, plays, laughs, acts up - these are her very first independent actions. She reacts to everything: toys, touches, signs of attention. But the phone evokes the most emotions in her. And if earlier she was still not very picky, and a remote control or a toy could replace her phone, now she strictly chooses a touch smartphone, and the iPhone is a priority. Now she can easily not only unlock the screen, but also surf the Internet and find an interesting game. How? I can't even imagine how she does it.

And if Veronica does this unconsciously, and the phone for her is just a toy, with a bright and responsive picture, then for older children it is something else. For them, this is already a convenient tool for achieving various goals - education, entertainment, communication. And, of course, we can say without a doubt that social networks are the most popular among smartphone users. Is it good? Well, or, on the contrary, is it bad? I very often hear the opinion that social networks are very harmful for children, because they stop communicating live, they do not develop empathy. But is this the worst thing that can happen to a child on the Internet?

Psychologists unanimously say that social networks are harmful for young brains, that children have not yet formed as individuals and cannot adequately assess their behavior on the Internet, cannot filter the information that comes to them. In social networks, children form their “own” world, they get hung up on “their” interests, they do not know how to communicate normally in the real world, if only because when communicating on the Internet they always have time to think about the answer, there is an opportunity to get away from it . They do not see the eyes, do not hear the intonation of a person, do not know how to sincerely empathize. They live in a different reality, communicate with "interesting" people. There they themselves are different, they become who they would like to be in reality. Transferring that world offline is very difficult. And if you don’t get the child out of there in time, then an adult sociopath will grow out of a small Internet user. And if you also take into account the 24-hour sitting at the computer and poking your thumb on the smartphone screen, then a whole bunch of diseases can be added to sociopathy - from poor eyesight to orthopedic problems.

I myself have a different point of view. We live in a time when the world is ruled not by the one who owns the information, but by the one who knows how to find it correctly. The Internet is at the same time a storehouse of various information, and, of course, a dump of informational garbage. That is why, only by knowing how to use the Internet, social networks, forums and find truly true and correct facts, you become the center of the modern world. In social networks, and on the Internet in general, a person is formed as a full-fledged personality, he himself can choose the information that interests him, that he needs for development. And in order for the child to be able to select this information correctly, parental attention, sensitivity and a lot of love are needed. It is important not to miss the moment when social networks from the category of "games" will move into the category of "life". Being in the center of information fields from childhood, the child prepares a base for the future that will help him find his place in life: work, hobbies, perhaps even a family.

But recently I came across an article in Novaya Gazeta about groups on a social network in which children were persuaded to commit suicide. This is a whole branched network of groups in which everything is arranged like a quest, everything is thought out to horror. You must first go through a bunch of links to get to the main group, and then move through different levels, completing tasks. Not everyone gets into this game “to the death”. For 50 days, which the child is given to complete all levels, the most worthy ones are selected. They are the ones who must commit suicide. Dubious reward, right? But during the “selection” the child’s brain is so “plowed”, their consciousness is changed, moral values ​​are replaced, that suicide becomes for them the goal to which they aspire. Games are games, but in the six months of the existence of such groups, 130 schoolchildren committed suicide. This is the kind of nonsense that sometimes happens on social networks. And this really causes fear and fear not only for the consciousness and development of children, but also for their lives.

It is very important to remember that a long stay in social networks is harmful to health, if only because due to the sitting position in which the child spends a long time, he may experience: curvature and even injuries of the spine, due to poor metabolism obesity and hormonal imbalances. In general, you can get a lot of sores. Therefore, it is very important to be attentive to your child and explain to him from childhood how to sit and how much time you can spend at the computer.

Social networks have already become an integral part of our world. Today there is no person who has not heard about VKontakte, Facebook or Instagram. Not letting a child sit on social networks means pulling him out of the modern world, and every parent, of course, wants his child to become successful in the future. Any new causes fear and negativity - in the days of Gutenberg, for example, the book was considered the main evil. Time changes a lot. Today, and at all times, fears and risks are everywhere, and there is no escape from this. The most important thing is that children need their parents. So that they are worried about even the most insignificant problems of their children, so that they love them, play games, devote time to them, notice the smallest changes in the lives of children. They created conditions for the development of the child, read books to him, went to circles with him, talked on various topics.

I watch how Veronica grows, how she communicates with her parents, how they look at her and play games with her. And I feel calm about her future, both in the real world and in the virtual one. And I hope that she will communicate equally calmly with her peers on the street and with users on social networks, and she will register there very soon, there is no doubt about it.

Modern children are well versed in the digital space: they know how to handle all kinds of gadgets, and they need an account in social networks not only for entertainment, but also for learning, for example, communicating with teachers and classmates in appropriate groups. But communication on the Internet can be not only beneficial, but also fraught with dangers. About how to build a safe relationship between a child and social networks, "Oh!" said Maria Namestnikova, an expert at Kaspersky Lab.

According to our research, 95% of the surveyed teenagers aged 13-15 already have social media accounts. However, the active presence of the younger generation on these sites worries many parents who want to keep their children safe both in real life and on the Web. But in order to avoid possible troubles, it is not necessary to completely protect children from being on the Internet, it is enough to observe.

At what age is it better for a child to register in social networks?

By registering in a particular social network, a person accepts the terms of its user agreement. The relevant section indicates what age the account owner must reach. For example, for resources such as Facebook and Instagram, it is at least 13 years old. However, in reality, children often indicate a fictitious year of birth and successfully register on these sites even at 7-10 years old and even earlier.

If a preschool child wants to create an account on a social network, parents have the right to disagree with his requests - the kid may not be ready for the content that is distributed there, and there is no real need for this. The real need for social networks can arise in a child as soon as he comes to school. Often, despite the existence of special electronic services, teachers create groups of their classes on VKontakte, the most popular platform among Russian children. There, teachers publish homework and other necessary materials, and the students themselves form communities for the exchange of useful information and communication.

In addition, at this age, social networks help children not only learn everything important and necessary for study, but also socialize. When the vast majority of peers already communicate on the Web, you should not exclude your child from this process.

What dangers await children in social networks?

Among the dangers that children may face on social networks is online bullying by peers, or cyberbullying. This phenomenon has long-term negative consequences that affect the future fate of the child. It is different from similar troubles in real life, for example, after school. And without personal contact, it takes on even more ugly and hypertrophied forms.

Therefore, children need to be taught several rules: firstly, on the Web, you can only write what you can say to a person in the face in the presence of other acquaintances, and secondly, and react to the offender, this can only aggravate the situation, in this case it is better to contact for help from adults.

In addition, children may accidentally or deliberately end up on pages with inappropriate content. This is not only about erotica or pornography, but also about information about drugs, suicide, as well as scenes of violence or weapons. In this case, special programs for children's online safety can help, which will inform the parent if the child, for example, subscribed to a group with inappropriate content or purposefully searched for such content.

Photo: goodluz/Syda Productions/Olena Yakobchuk/Shutterstock.com

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Social media. Social networks have appeared relatively recently, causing great interest among users of the World Wide Web. Communication, searching for information and friends of interest, sharing news, the ability to listen to music, watch videos and photos, all this seems to have always been and it’s hard to imagine that people once lived without a profile on a social network. Today's children often get the skills to work with a personal computer even before they go to school. At first, children master the games, but as soon as they have the skills to read and write, nothing can stop them from starting their own page on any social network. Registration, as a rule, is free, or can be easily paid for via SMS from a mobile phone, therefore, often the help of elders is not required for this fateful action. A child who has access to his own profile on a social network gets new opportunities, but the question is how useful these opportunities are for him.

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In the age of new technologies and a variety of online entertainment, social networks have become an integral part of our lives. Children are recommended to create their own pages only from the age of 13. The same Facebook does not allow you to register if the user is younger than this age. Before reaching adulthood, responsibility for the actions of children rests with their parents or guardians, but the problem is that adults sometimes have less experience in virtual life and cannot properly control this side of their child's development. Establishing passwords and "parental control" of sites does not always help direct children's interest in the right direction, and sometimes it has an undesirable effect: the sweetness of the forbidden fruit only spurs curiosity and makes them look for ways to bypass prohibitions. Moreover, social networks, although formally they must comply with the bans on the dissemination of pornographic extremist and nationalist information provided for by law, in reality cannot always control the content coming from users. In addition, with a high frequency of hacking of social network profiles, such information may be in the focus of children's attention at any time.

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Useful social networks. The benefits of social networks for a child will primarily depend on his personality, which is still being formed at a tender age. Will he use the account to communicate with "good" or "bad" people, will he expand his horizons in a socially useful area, or will he become interested in "forbidden" topics?

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Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg says that social networks are a wonderful place where a child can learn a lot. A social network for a child, according to Zuckerberg, is a great start for a good education. Another plus is that a small student communicates with new people, acquiring communication skills, preparing for adulthood. Socialization is really a big plus for a child, especially if it is difficult for him to communicate with other children in the real world. Sitting at a computer or even surfing the Internet from a smartphone, a student will be better able to find a common language with his new acquaintances than if he were standing next to them. In the future, he will be able to use conversation templates to communicate in reality. Olga Molodenko, child psychologist: “You can't learn relationships in theory. This is just practice. In social networks, the child acquires many acquaintances, friends, buddies, enemies and allies. Here he will learn how to act in conflicts, respond to betrayals, victories, win the attention of people of the opposite sex. He gets invaluable communication experience. If he has time to experience it all in reality, that's great. If the day is scheduled every minute, then there is no need to deprive him of virtual relationships with people.

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But you should always know what your child is doing on social networks. You must have your own account and access to your child's page. You don’t need to follow him from behind when the child is just chatting with friends: it’s better to quietly check his actions. So you do not undermine the child's trust, but keep him safe, because the Internet is a completely unsafe place. In addition, you can gently prompt your student to solve his problems or conflicts with friends. For example, forum member Alexandra says: “My son is 8 years old. He has an account on VKontakte, and I regularly, once a week, check all his correspondence. Be sure: there are many perverts and scammers on the net, and you need to teach your child to recognize them. I know about all the actions of my son, and I can always help him with advice in a given situation. Of course, do not tell him about it, so as not to spoil the relationship, just delicately tell stories like: “I have a colleague at work, so her daughter got into this situation ...”. And then we unobtrusively suggest how to get out of this situation.

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The educational function of social networks will also play into the hands of the child. He can subscribe to groups of interest to him (mathematics, astronomy, etc.). On his own, he is unlikely to look for interesting and useful information in books - in the form of a game, learning will be much more efficient and faster. In the modern world, it is becoming increasingly difficult to communicate with relatives. At least on the phone. But VKontakte, Facebook and many other social networks will help to establish contacts even with distant relatives. Psychologists and parents with many children recommend that children communicate with all their relatives - this makes them happier.

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Unsafe world. But not everything is rosy in the world of social networks. Many experts emphasize that a child, having filled in all the information fields in the user's profile, exposes himself and his loved ones to a large number of risks. Threats may arise: - for moral values ​​(who will protect him from pedophiles and pornography?); - invasion of privacy (not the fact that with the publication of photos and hobbies, classmates will not support him); - physical security (hooligans, fans, enemies - all of them can wait at the entrance); - the appearance of viruses, fraudulent schemes (the status "Left for the sea" actually gives the thief the key to your door).

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As a rule, the protection that stands at the entrance to social networks or other Internet resources cannot compete with children's curiosity. Who prevents a child from adding a few years to himself virtually in order to gain access to information of interest to him?! In 2011, a Facebook audience study (surveying several thousand American families) showed that 7.5 million children under the age of 13 were registered on this social network. Of these, 5 million have not even reached the age of ten. Sociologists say that about 70% of parents control the actions of their children at the age of 13-14. At the same time, 10-year-old moms and dads are monitored only in every tenth case. Adults don't worry so much about their fidgets until they're in their teens. But it is important to know that children suffer from online aggression just as much as adults. The creator of the social network "VKontakte" Pavel Durov, unlike his American colleague Mark Zuckerberg, said that his resource was not created for children.

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Why are social networks dangerous for children? 1) One of the dangers is a decrease in empathy, the inability to empathize. Children who grew up in social networks lose their interpersonal skills - they do not know how to blush, touch each other, give a spontaneous reaction, and most importantly, receive an immediate response from the interlocutor and conduct a dialogue. Comments and online communication are all imitations of real emotional dialogue. Perceiving another person, the impression of him is made up of 70% of non-verbal information, while the human brain works this way. So, communicating in social networks, we close ourselves in two-dimensional space. The drug "Ritalin" is prescribed in England for attention disorders. So, over the past ten years, it has been prescribed three times more often, especially to young people and children. Scientists have reason to believe that this is due to computers: children who sit for 4 hours a day playing a computer game develop attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, which then prevents them from studying at school.

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The scale of the negative effects of social networks, of course, depends on the individual, but children are practically defenseless against such influence. The child needs to be shown positive experiences in the real world and encouraged to use the virtual world wisely. Otherwise, children will develop attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. It is interesting to see how people's communication on the Internet has evolved. In 1999, people wrote on Livejournal that they have a cat, in 2004 they posted photos and videos of this cat, in 2010 they can tweet once an hour that their cat sneezed. Opportunity arose and people began to talk to each other about things that no one needed to know. Social media users are like little children. They seem to say to their mother: “Look, I already know how to put on pantyhose.” Moreover, they are waiting for a feedback, evaluation, i.e. confirmation of their existence on Earth.

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2) Recklessness. Another danger of social networks for children is that a person does not know how to assess risks. Almost all virtual actions do not have irreversible consequences. Pages on social networks can be edited, comments can be deleted and added, dying in a computer game, in most cases, you can restore your character and continue. This is not the case in real life, but by educating the brain in an environment where actions do not entail consequences, we get a person who simply does not know how to adequately assess risk. This is due to the influence on the area of ​​the frontal cortex of the brain responsible for logical connections - it is, for example, poorly developed in children and schizophrenics who have difficulty concentrating, easily react to external stimuli and think the opposite of most adults - from cognitive to sensual. Consider, for example, one worker who survived a frontal injury with damage to the prefrontal cortex. The man recovered, went to work, but it was hard not to notice the change in his personality. He began to make promises that he could not keep, to make risky bets and to show supernatural recklessness. And despite the fact that he was physically quite healthy, he could not lead a normal life.

According to a study conducted in 2013 by the Internet Development Foundation with the support of Google among Russian teenagers and their parents, the level of digital competence of adults and children in our country is approximately the same and is one third of the maximum possible. It turns out that adults are afraid for children in the online space, not because they know a lot about it, but vice versa - because they themselves do not know anything about it. There are misconceptions among adults about networks and their harm to students. Often they only increase anxiety and do not contribute to the constructive resolution of conflict situations that may arise regarding children's online communication.

Misconception 1. If a child starts to communicate in networks, he will not learn to build relationships with people in real life.

Many parents are afraid that the networks will literally entangle the child, and he will not be able to make new friends offline. In fact, if this happens, then this indicates psychological difficulties, the cause of which, most likely, is not the use of social networks. Online communication, on the contrary, sometimes helps to establish contact with those with whom it is impossible to do it face to face, and bring the experience of positive interaction into life.

Misconception 2. The child is not yet mature enough to painlessly experience hurtful comments, which are often provoked by online communication.

Many adults know from their own experience how unpleasant it is to read criticism and caustic jokes addressed to them. And not everyone can boast of the ability not to take it painfully. But, unfortunately, this is part of life. Hurtful comments start on the playground and follow us into adulthood. Online or offline, children face rejection, misunderstanding and other negative things that they need to learn to do something with, to overcome. Networks exacerbate the situation only by the fact that it is very easy to leave any comment on them. But this is a feature of today, in our age it is difficult to avoid online communication.

If you don't know how to use matches, it doesn't take long for a fire to start. Even if a child spends five minutes online, he must imagine that, for example, you cannot give your personal data to strangers, that there are online scammers and paid applications that you can buy completely by accident. Limiting the duration of online sessions solves other problems, primarily those related to discipline and health.

Misconception 4. A child should not use social networks until the age of 13 (16, 18, and so on).

The most common online applications set an "age threshold" in the user agreement: only users who have reached the age of 13 can create their accounts in them. This is due to the legislation in the field of personal data protection. But this does not mean that there is a magical date after which the networks will automatically become safe and harmless for the child. At whatever age a person starts his first page, he will need to get used to the new world of online communication.

For example, this is why Kaspersky Lab employees advise parents not to resist the movement of children towards online communication, but to lead it and tell about all the subtleties along the way. You can start by helping to create a personal page. At the same time, the child should be told about the privacy settings, that the Internet is a public space, so you should always keep in mind who will see the photos and messages you posted.

Most of the problems that arise when communicating on social networks are related to the feeling that everything here is not real, everything is a game. It is imperative to explain that everything here is like in ordinary life, and a sloppy word can really offend the interlocutor.

Just as we explain the rules of conduct in public places, we need to explain the rules of conduct online. The main idea is simple to formulate: your online actions are no less real than your offline actions, and the consequences can be no less real. Children at an early age are taught that it is dangerous to trust unfamiliar adults. They tell how to be in case of obsessive attention from an unfamiliar person. The same applies to networking.

An interesting conversation took place during a broadcast on the radio "Echo of Moscow" on December 21, 2014, dedicated to the safety of children on the Internet. A member of the working group on the development of rules of conduct for schoolchildren in social networks spoke about the need to conduct educational courses on safety for children, and a visiting computer science teacher defended the position that acquaintance with the rules of behavior on the Internet should take place during the direct activities of the student. Without dividing the culture online and offline, it is possible during joint classes and communication to pay attention to the rules of safety, dissemination of information, communication opportunities. After all, social networks are created for communication, and they can be actively used in the learning process.

To treat social networks only as something that needs to be banned or strictly controlled means not to notice an important point. Did the child start a Vkontakte page? Great! Now you have another channel through which you can get to know his inner world, hobbies, and friends better. Here you will be able to analyze various life situations together. It is so convenient to share interesting information and connect with like-minded communities here. Ultimately, it is the adult who, by his personal example and in joint activities, can show the child what to do with the social network: “hang out” in it or use it as a tool for more interesting tasks.

A BILL IS UNDER CONSIDERATION, which requires a complete ban on teens under the age of fourteen from registering on social networks. Russians 14+ are offered to open access to social networks only according to passport data. It is no secret that most teenagers have already managed to create accounts at least on the VKontakte network. We talked to the children to find out what they do on social networks, what groups they sit in, what they post on their instagrams, and how their parents feel about it.

Sofia

I have been on social media since I was six years old. I spend most of my time on VKontakte - about half an hour a day, but sometimes I manage to take longer; As a rule, I go to social networks through a phone or tablet. On VKontakte, I communicate with friends, we exchange all sorts of interesting things. I myself created three groups, and there were quite a lot of people. Usually I like to sit in public, where they post pictures with cute cats, and in principle I like to learn new things about animals. Sometimes I post cats on my page. I also listen to VKontakte music, usually I just stumble upon some popular songs.

Mom constantly controls me on VKontakte - with whom I communicate or which groups I join. I think social media can be dangerous for kids. You may be offered to join death groups and forced to carry out orders from administrators. They say that if you refuse, they will blackmail you, and you still have to fulfill their orders - for example, jump from the roof of the ninth floor.

Ivan

Usually I use the VKontakte and Instagram networks in my free time or at not the most important lessons. As a rule, from the phone, but if you need to watch a long video, I turn on the computer.

Usually I surf the Internet for fun - I watch memes, but sometimes I come across interesting serious articles. I am fond of history, so I also constantly look at thematic groups on this subject. Thanks to social networks, learning something new about this is much easier. I also listen to music through VKontakte. I also subscribe to various media, for example, Lentach and The Flow. Our class has its own VKontakte chat, thanks to which it is much easier to find out homework or about some school events, for example excursions. On Instagram, I post photos from trips or just something interesting from everyday life. Instagram is a pretty cool social network, thanks to it I found out about the new album of rapper Purulent.

My parents do not control my social networks in any way, maybe only in the third or fourth grade they tried to take the phone away. Now we correspond either in telegram or viber. It seems to me that social networks can be dangerous for children only if they are mentally ill. Much more traumatic is the pressure of teachers and classmates, and sometimes even parents.

Sonya

I have been active on the Internet since I was eleven years old. Initially, she simply wrote to her mother that she had come to school so as not to spend money on it. Most often, I sit on VKontakte and Instagram, not all the time, but every time when there is extra time that there is not much to spend on. I don't have my own computer, so I use my phone.

Usually I correspond with someone, scroll through the news or look at photos. I hardly sit in groups, except that I find music in the public “The musicend”, and I read the news in “Lentach” or “Uninteresting Facts”. I have an instagram, but I rarely post photos there, but I constantly look at other people's. I follow my friends and various actors from the series that I like. I almost never get to know each other on social networks, I often communicate with friends or classmates. We correspond very actively with the class on VKontakte, because we decide where and when we will go to have fun, and sometimes we learn homework.

My parents never controlled me on social networks, because I don’t do anything forbidden there. But I know that there are also dangerous groups.

Veronica

I started using social networks when I was given my first phone. Instagram is quite popular, and there you can express your thoughts, talk about something, so the first thing I did was register there. I especially like the comments, because under the photo you can describe your feelings. I post my dog, selfies, beauty, a lot of travel photos - showing what mood I'm in, good or bad. On Instagram, I mainly follow my friends, their mothers and friends of my aunt (she is a student).

There are a lot of smart posts on Facebook, informative not only for children, but also for adults. You can understand how to behave - take care of loved ones and so on. But there are also funny videos and pictures that I enjoy looking at. On Facebook, I mainly follow my dad's friends and some of my classmates. And I usually post my grandmother there - everyone knows her on Facebook. Usually I write how beautiful she is, and once I joked under the photo: “A drunk grandmother is a misfortune in the family.” In general, I am friends with my relatives on social networks.

Once I registered on VKontakte, but my parents found out about it and forbade me to sit there, because a lot of things for adults are posted on this social network. At first, they told me that Facebook was also for adults only, but then my mother reconciled and allowed it. We usually communicate with her in WhatsApp or call up.

Social media can be dangerous for kids and everyone in my class knows about it. There are people who can hack your Instagram or just get your phone number and then figure out where you live. Therefore, I always make my pages private.

Ilya

Usually I use VKontakte and Whatsapp from my phone for about 9-10 hours a day. At first I sat on VKontakte only to communicate with friends, but now I read news and interesting posts there. I am subscribed to music and news publics, and also to communities where vines are posted. I also have an Instagram account, but I rarely post my own photos. Usually I just watch what my friends and rappers post. I very rarely meet people through the Internet, but I often correspond with former classmates or friends. And in the classroom we have our own chat where we share school news with each other.

Parents do not try to control my behavior in social networks, because the Internet can be dangerous only for a child with an unformed psyche. It seems to me that a much bigger problem is that there is too much unnecessary information on social networks.