Almost every person has a situation in life when he loses the trust of a loved one (husband, boyfriend, wife, girlfriend). The reasons for the loss of trust can be different. Some people are able to easily forgive even betrayal, and some will never forgive even a "harmless" lie. And even very strong feelings of love and affection cannot change the principles of such people. The lost trust of a loved one can be returned if you listen to the advice of psychologists.

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Reasons for mistrust

In a relationship between a man and a woman, the worst thing is the loss of trust. After one partner loses trust, the relationship dies. This may be due to the following factors:

• Treason. It can be both physical and emotional. And it is impossible to understand which is worse. Cheating is the most common cause of loss of trust between partners. Not everyone can forgive betrayal. Even very strong feelings cannot guarantee the return of relations to their previous course.
• Betrayal. It is also one of the terrible disappointments in a loved one. The worst thing is to get hit in the back, which you do not expect at all.
• Broken promises. It is only necessary to make promises to a relative and a close person if there is confidence that you will keep them. If there is no such confidence, then you do not need to give them at all. Broken promises will not strengthen the relationship, but only destroy it.
• Lie. Everyone has lied at least once in their life. But when this happens all the time in a relationship, then there is no need to talk about trust. The constant lies of one of the partners makes you live in tension and expecting another portion of lies.

Barriers to regaining trust

It is very easy to stop believing in a loved one, but the return process is very complicated and lengthy. The following may interfere with returning the former faith:

• Anger and negative attitude towards a partner.
• The desire to take revenge, to hurt the offender.
• Silence, refusal to communicate.
• Emotionality.
• Unwillingness to understand or forgive the offender.
• Wrong behavior of a guilty person.
• Repeated occurrences.
• Relationships heated to the limit.



Analysis of the situation

Before proceeding with the return of lost trust, the delinquent person needs to analyze the current situation and understand:

• how important it is to regain lost trust;
• whether the person whose trust has been lost is important;
• are people ready for hard work in order to regain their former faith;
• what act was the culprit of the current situation.

By answering these questions, the guilty person will draw conclusions and understand whether he is ready to fight for the return of his former trust.



What to do?

It is impossible to live with a shattered faith in your life partner. In order for relationships to be normal, trust and understanding must reign in them. If people live together without faith, then there is no harmony and mutual understanding in their relationship. Everyone has their own scenario for the future. Such couples in public may not show that they have any problems. But they themselves are hardly satisfied with this.

Rebuilding trust in a relationship is very difficult. The efforts of one of the partners are not enough. Both man and woman need to work hard on the return of faith. In order to restore the former attitude of a spouse, you need to spend a lot of time and effort.

Psychologists' advice:

• The guilty must admit their mistake. Sincerely ask for forgiveness and not try to shift the responsibility for what you have done to other shoulders.
• The one who lost the trust of a loved one should definitely talk with the victim. Try to explain the reason for the perfect act.
• Listen to a person who has lost confidence. It should be noted that this may be overly emotional.
• It is necessary to give the victim time to think about the situation and to make the right decision.

The guilty should not engage in self-flagellation! Even if it was not possible to establish relations with a partner, he must forgive himself!

The behavior of the offender

In order to earn forgiveness and renew the former trust between partners, one should adhere to the correct behavior model. It is important to realize that for a long time a loved one will check, distrust and suspect.

The one who has lost confidence needs to be prepared for reproaches from the victim. The victim in a fit of anger is able to say unpleasant things to his offender. It's important to be patient!

Important! The guilty should not be allowed to be humiliated! Admission of guilt and sincere repentance has nothing to do with humiliation!

The guilty must surround his partner with affection and attention. Try to behave like at the beginning of the relationship. It is worth remembering that the location needs to be won again.

You and your loved one have been together for a long time, however, sometimes it seems to you that he is not always completely frank? But men are so arranged that they always have a little doubt: is it possible to trust a woman who is nearby. It happens that this is due to previously experienced love disappointment. If you have serious intentions, then your main task is to convince the man you love that you can be trusted.

Relationship psychology how to win a man

1. Take a sincere interest in his life.
2. Try to express your feelings correctly. Discuss with your loved one everything in a relationship that seems wrong to you. When stating some facts, avoid listing small details. Do not forget that men like clearly built phrases, as well as praise and admiration addressed to them. But they do not like direct and sharp condemnation and hypercontrol.
3. To resolve controversial issues, you need to be able to choose the right moment. You should not do this when he is going to work in the morning, or call him during his lunch break, hoping to sort things out quickly. If the contentious issue is really very important, then agree on when you can discuss it without haste.
4. Before you sort things out, ask what your loved one meant and whether you understood him correctly. After all, an honest, open and respectful conversation is the most effective method to avoid disagreements.
5. Don't be vindictive. Don't stir up old grudges. Do not give them the opportunity to quarrel you again.
6. Take the time to calm down. Even if you find his things scattered everywhere and start to get angry, do not shout or reproach. Take a deep breath, turn on the music, go to the kitchen for a minute or two to calm down. And then tell your loved one that it’s rather unpleasant for you to look at scattered things. It turns out that you are not criticizing the partner himself, but the act.
7. Never sort things out in front of strangers, because this is a huge blow to male pride. In addition, it is also a violation of generally accepted ethical rules.
8. Never be afraid to ask for forgiveness from your loved one. There is nothing to be ashamed of here. Your ability to admit your mistakes will cause a man to trust you.

“And they lived happily ever after” - many people, starting a relationship, keep this phrase in mind. They dream of endless joint happiness, sometimes not even realizing how difficult it is to build a dialogue every day, look for common ground and forgive each other. The latter does require unlimited responsibility for the decision made. If a girl betrayed her lover, humiliated him or decided to cheat, she should know as soon as possible, while feelings can still be saved.

How to regain trust

Quarrels and deceit are not uncommon in any relationship. Quite often, conflicts occur because of all sorts of little things, but the sediment after them remains very serious.

If a girl has undermined the trust of her lover, and parting is already looming on the horizon, it is necessary to act quickly. First, you should talk to your soulmate. Frankly and sincerely explain the reason for the quarrel, your position, the true state of things.

During this dialogue, a woman should not switch to mutual accusations, tantrums or screams. The calmer the conversation is, the more balanced her arguments are, the higher the likelihood of reconciliation.

Secondly, the correctness of the man's claims should be recognized. Even if a woman does not agree with some of these claims, she needs to accept them, because now the goal is reconciliation. Life will put everything in its place, but the analysis of male arguments will definitely have a positive impact on the nature of the relationship.

Thirdly, it should be shown with all its appearance that there will never be precedents that led to a quarrel. Endless fidelity and devotion to love - that's what a man wants to achieve in such a situation. Below we will analyze the main causes of conflicts that arise between lovers and show you how to act in a given situation.

The most common mistakes girls make

Despite the fact that all couples are different, conflicts in lovers occur for approximately the same reasons. What are the most common misdemeanors committed by girls?

All these problems, sometimes separately, and sometimes together, simply destroy feelings. A man can no longer tolerate female tantrums, and her jealousy and betrayal kill her partner's trust. Each of these problems is complex in its own way, and the most common of them need to be discussed in more detail.

Failure to keep promises

The psychology of relationships is a rather complicated science, and partners often study it not in theory, but in practice, during their own conflicts or quarrels. One of the key reasons for such quarrels is the failure to keep promises. And we can talk about small things, and about some major act.

How should one act in such a situation in order to resurrect male confidence?

Often for a man it is not the execution of the deed that is important, but the fact that the beloved heard him, understood and realized the importance of the perfect deed. So, a lady can promise that she will never again spend family funds without the knowledge of her partner. After the scandal, she may indeed stop doing it, but without realizing the extent of her own guilt. As a result, in the future the conflict will definitely repeat itself, because the girl, having not understood anything, will sooner or later resume thoughtless spending.

In such situations, it is important not to put forward any counter-conditions. If a girl promised to do something, she should not demand the same from her lover.

Lies and betrayal

How to regain the trust of a loved one after a lie or betrayal is almost the most common question in the psychology of relationships. Having stumbled once and realizing this, a person simply does not want to lose the relationship. So he has to look for ways to save feelings.

Here are just a few rules that will help a girl resurrect trust in a relationship with her beloved:

Cheating is a very serious offense, and asking a soul mate for it is always difficult. That is why it is so important that a man does not have any doubts about women's repentance. The lady is obliged to emphasize that she repents and is ready to wait for forgiveness as much as necessary. Sometimes men start going to a meeting after a few days, and sometimes it takes at least six months to resurrect feelings.

If reconciliation is delayed, and there is still no trust in the relationship, the woman's task is to remind her soulmate of the best moments of life together. You can post joint photos on social networks, send songs to your lover that are related to relationships. You can also arrange romantic surprises, but not be too intrusive.

And it is especially important to demonstrate your own loyalty in the future. So, for example, many men deliberately break up with girls for several weeks, starting to monitor their behavior. If the second half begins to go to clubs and meet with dubious companies, a man is unlikely to want to resurrect feelings. That is why in the coming months the representative of the weaker sex must turn into a real angel.

Jealousy

Many women are characterized by increased jealousy. Sometimes they simply cannot control these impulses of theirs, which drives men crazy. What measures in case of quarrels due to jealousy will help resurrect trust in the family?

1. It is necessary to accustom yourself to call a man less often.
2. You also need to abandon regular checks on the man’s phone.
3. When talking with a partner, you should not try to find out something from him about other women and potential lovers.
4. Also, a man should feel free, but know that his possible betrayal can offend his soulmate.
5. If a woman cannot control her own jealousy on her own, she needs to contact a family psychologist.

Often men assume that if a woman has shown herself to be jealous for many years, she will no longer be able to change. Because of these tantrums and constant checks, trust decreases, love disappears.

That is why a lady needs to show her own calmness in all ways. A man is obliged to have freedom, but at the same time one should not let go of the reins completely. It is important to maintain a little control over the relationship, but it should not put too much pressure on the partner. In this case, the number of quarrels will be significantly reduced.

If you can’t overcome jealousy on your own, you need to contact a family psychologist together. It is likely that the source of the conflicts is hidden in the past. Perhaps it depends on the female complexes. That is why it is so important to identify the problem in time and fix it.

Restoring relationships after a break: how to resurrect everything and whether it should be done

Sometimes it happens that all the efforts of lovers are absolutely in vain, and in the end they part. However, after some time, the partners realize how strong their feelings are. When the question of resuming a relationship arises, the dilemma about not repeating one's own mistakes logically arises.

If in such a situation a woman tries to resurrect her partner's trust, she needs to act as follows:

• one should prove by all his behavior the absence of past shortcomings;
• psychologists have proven that a slight change in appearance affects a different perception of a woman. Therefore, she can partially improve the attitude of a man towards herself if she changes her hair or style of dress;
• you should communicate more often with your lover, since dialogue is the key to eliminating possible conflicts;
• if a man did not like the girl's environment or her behavior, this should be abandoned. Eliminating the annoying factor will improve the chances of the union for a happy future.

Resurrecting relationships is half the battle, but you still need to work on them regularly. That is why a person should think in advance about whether he needs to resurrect his former emotions? Is love so strong or is it just a matter of elementary habit?

Realizing that feelings are strong, the girl should do everything for the sake of their resurrection. However, if she cannot give up bad habits, jealousy, betrayal for the sake of a man, then perhaps she does not need him so much.

Relationships cannot exist without trust. Love is based on it, and it is trust that sometimes saves from conflicts. Having guilty before the second half and experiencing boundless feelings for him, everything must be done to prevent the destruction of the union.

Alina, Omsk

How to win a guy's trust

Trust is a very fragile and ephemeral substance, especially in a relationship between a man and a woman. He can trust you with all his secrets and at the same time follow your every step, or, on the contrary, let him go to any parties with friends or colleagues, but not share the problems and events of his life. However, trust is a strong cement that holds the union of a man and a woman together. So how do you win a guy's trust? I asked this question to almost all the men I know, from my father to my work colleagues. And that's what happened.

“He made himself respect…”

Put yourself in the shoes of the guy you want to trust. Whom will you trust yourself - someone you respect, be it a friend or a comrade. Therefore, you need to inspire respect in the first place. How to do it? Try to become one of the best in any area of ​​interest to him: sports, art, study or work.

If you become an authority for him, then he will at least begin to trust your opinion and begin to be interested in your judgment in controversial issues. This is a good start. Then, if you behave correctly, he will begin to share more with you. In order for a guy to respect you, you must, in addition, not seem like a frivolous "pied dog", demonstrate your erudition and sense of humor to the place and observe the following points of this "treatise".

Know how to listen

If you want to win the trust of a man, be able to listen. There are very few people in the world who do not like to talk about themselves. Unless spies or scouts. However, instead of letting a friend talk, most of us rumble about our conclusions and problems. Give the guy a chance to trust you with something.

Shut up! Become a psychotherapist for a while. Ask questions with interest and LISTEN to the answers, even if you are not particularly interested in the topic of the conversation. Look the interlocutor straight in the eye and insert your "special opinion" only if he asks for it. Try to keep the information that you have been told from becoming public. If you want to be trusted, keep it as a medical secret.

Do not lie!

Many women have a bad habit - to lie. Exaggerate, embellish, downplay or simply invent any story or fact from your life. Moreover, these innocent fantasies are absolutely meaningless and aimless and do not bring “ladies” any “dividends” in the eyes of “gentlemen”. If you want to win the respect and trust of a man, do not lie, especially over trifles. Everything secret sooner or later becomes clear and trust will be lost forever. As Kozma Prutkov said: “If you lie once, who will believe you.”

Help!

It is better to win the trust of a man not by word, but by deed. Heartfelt phrase: "You can trust me!" It doesn't always work, and it doesn't work for everyone. If you are serious about the projects and maxims of a man (or at least pretend to be) and help him in their implementation, then his trust in you is guaranteed. Believe in him, and he will dedicate all his victories to you. And then, knowing everything about the plans and thoughts of your boyfriend and being his main ally and confidant is worth a lot!

A strong relationship between a guy and a girl can turn into a long family life. Such relationships must be built on love, loyalty, mutual understanding and, of course, trust. If this is not the case, then, as a rule, they will not last long, they will begin, which will lead to a break. Relationships are hard to build without trust. People make mistakes, and a situation can happen to everyone, after which it will be difficult to build relationships. But what to do if you suddenly lost the trust of your loved one? Can he trust you again? How to regain the confidence of a young man?

Some couples face circumstances where the trust of one of the partners is called into question. You can lose trust in a person for several reasons:

different outlooks on life;
treason;
lack of trust from the very beginning of the relationship;
mismatch of words and actions;
lie;
failure to fulfill the promise;
jealousy;
excessive demands on relationships and their inconsistency in reality.

In these cases, there is a possibility of separation. When a girl feels that she is not trusted, this leads either to a permanent relationship with which it is difficult to continue the relationship, or to frequent quarrels. A girl in this position wants to quickly achieve the location and trust of the guy and establish relationships.

Lost trust can be restored, of course, you will have to try hard, although sometimes it seems that this is impossible. Do not give up and leave, it's easy to do. After all, you can leave at any time, wouldn't it be better to try to make things right? Then even if nothing happens, you will be relieved from the realization that you have done your best. How to regain the trust of a guy and maintain his own dignity?

Lie

To regain trust and the old attitude, first you need to clearly understand the reason why he was gone. And then act on that basis. If you are distrusted because of a lie, the most important thing is not to lie further, even in the most insignificant situations. After all, if the guy realizes that you are lying, he will once again be convinced of his suspicions. Always think before you say or do something. Imagine how a young man would react to words or deeds, because it often seems to girls that this is an innocent prank, and a guy can be enraged. If you really want to win back a guy's trust, control yourself.

Most likely, during this time you will get used to being honest and not deceiving your loved one, and in the future this situation will definitely not happen again.

Any lie, even for good, can be decisive in a relationship.

Failure to keep promises

If a guy has stopped trusting you because you don't keep promises, stop making them. And do what was already promised at that time. Sometimes we cannot fulfill our promises due to unforeseen circumstances, then explain everything to your loved one, and he will understand you. And if you promised, without thinking about whether you can fulfill it, and now you are worried, confess to him, and he will appreciate your honesty and sincerity.

Jealousy

If a guy does not trust you because of jealousy, although you do not give a reason, it will be very difficult for you. Give up close communication with friends, colleagues, acquaintances when he is not around. It’s good if you have mutual friends, you don’t have to sit at home and not communicate with anyone.

It is important for such guys to know where you are going, with whom you are going, who called, why they called. Perhaps, after some time, he will understand that you can be trusted, and no one is needed except him, and will calm down.

Treason

The hardest thing is to regain a guy's trust after cheating.

Life always provides us with temptations and tests for strength. But, unfortunately, not everyone can stand firmly and not succumb. And it does not always end with the girl leaving for another guy. They realize what they have done, and may lose their love, regret what they have done, try to regain the trust of their loved one. It is incredibly difficult for guys to survive the betrayal of their girlfriend.

And also hatred, disappointment, disgust. It destroys dreams of a joint future. They do not listen to explanations, do not perceive tears and pleas for forgiveness. At this point, the relationship is on edge. What to do to save them? For men, cheating on a girl is not just a loss of trust, but also a blow to male solvency. They begin to think that they could not meet the needs of a woman in an intimate life. Some men shut up for a while and withdraw into themselves.

If he really loves, there is a chance that over time the relationship will improve. Here, much depends on how a woman tries to regain the lost trust.

Do not crawl in front of him, begging for forgiveness, maintain dignity even in such a difficult situation. Looking pathetic in tears and on your knees will disgust a man, or he will think that you are playing so that he will regret and forgive. Pull yourself together, such behavior commands respect.
Do not make a scandal and do not blame him for what happened. He was very much offended, and even trying to blame. Perhaps he himself understands that there is guilt, but it is not worth talking about it. Be kind, gentle, and humble. When you calm down, you will discuss this topic, but only without accusations and tantrums.
Do not talk about cheating in detail, even if the guy demands it. This will make him even more painful and fix in his mind the details of the betrayal that will stand before his eyes. It's better for him not to know about it. Briefly state the fact of infidelity and do not return to this conversation.
Do not involve other people to resolve the situation. Only you have to control it, otherwise everything can end badly. Justifying you, relatives and friends, trying to save the situation, they can say a lot of unnecessary things. And some "well-wishers" will spread gossip, embellishing the event. And a man in this state is unlikely to want to see someone else, and even more so to listen.
If you have children, do not ask to stay for the sake of the children. He will take this as blackmail and will not want to continue the conversation at all. And yes, you will regret it later. Even if he stays, it is not known how he will behave. Will he try to take revenge on you or will your life become unbearable because he is with you only for the sake of the children?

Do not demand momentary forgiveness, this will not happen. It takes time for him to calm down, think, remember your happy past and decide for himself whether he wants to continue the relationship. It can take quite a long time, but most likely, if the guy did not leave you right away, he loves you, and, therefore, will forgive you. It will be hard for both of you (to forgive and forget about what happened and earn trust). But love will help you get through this difficult time, and relationships will become stronger, because you almost destroyed them, which means you will begin to appreciate what you have much more strongly.