Hello, my name is Ruslan, I am 36 years old, my problem is that my wife does not want to live with me. She and I have been married for 12 years and after the divorce for another two years and that's it, a dead end has come, she says she's tired, I don't want to live like this anymore.

14 years of our life together were in constant abuse and broke up six times, or rather, she kicked me out, as they lived in her house. And it all started when she was 16, I was 22, they began to be friends, the wedding was two years later, when they met, her parents began to build a house for her, built a box, covered it, glazed it, supplied gas, and after the wedding they told me to finish building and live. So I did, finished building the house, invested a lot of money, so they lived in it, but as a curse, she kicks me out.

Scandals because of my mother, my mother lives alone and I sometimes go to help her, my wife is furious that I am going and not alternately, since there are three brothers of us, brothers do not want, they have no time, but I feel sorry for my mother, well, as well as constant sawing that I took out a loan to my brother to repair the car, then we were in swearing and did not live together, and when we reconciled, I did not say about the loan, I thought my brother would pay and pay and she would not know. My brother lost his job and stopped paying, my wife found out there was a scandal, now I am paying for him, my wife filed for divorce, we were divorced, she wanted to leave, I persuaded that everything would be fine, she agreed.

Divorced people began to live, I lose my job and can’t find a job for half a year, there were delays in the courts, one loan for my brother, another loan I took to repair the house, my wife got crazy and kicked me out, I tried to pay off the delays in the courts, got into loans, which is even stronger drove me into debt, got a job, sold the car, paid off some of the debts, worked and worked part-time at two jobs, if it turned out, so that it would last faster, we reconciled and, as always, I wanted to save the family, even if she was wrong, she would never admit her guilt and will not put up first.

It seems that we reconciled and live, she applied for elements, we have two children, she told me your debts are not interesting, and this is what happens, I get a salary, they turn out 33% of her elements, the rest of the salary is just enough for debts, but Ana said that would not work, we’ll spend on food and a communal apartment, and scatter the rest on debts, that’s how we lived for some time, well, then she couldn’t stand it, made a scandal about these debts and kicked me out again, I don’t know how to be, because children grow up. I don’t want them to grow up without me, and I love my wife, I just see that she doesn’t love me, she needs money, and moral values ​​\u200b\u200bare not important, she hates my mother, forbids me to go to her, constantly nags me, always reproaches me for something - then, here I’m trying to explain that another year, maybe two, I’ll pay off debts and everything will work out, she doesn’t want to listen, I don’t know how to be help with advice.

Family life is a whole science, not everyone manages to master it perfectly. Some people find it incomprehensible how you can get along with a person who has a different view of everyday things that are familiar to you. Disputes on a similar topic most often turn into scandals, and often they end in failure. The wife kicks her husband out of the house. What should a man do in this situation?

Why kicks out?

Every effect has its cause. If the wife kicks out of the house, then she has some reason for this act. Try to understand the woman. Do not take into account the little things, think globally. It is unlikely that your latest quarrel about scattered socks is the real cause of the scandal. Most likely, this was the last straw. Analyze your habits and think about which ones annoy your wife the most. Perhaps the girl cannot stand scattered things or unwashed dishes. Perhaps you do not help your wife with household chores at all. If you can’t find the reason yourself, don’t hesitate to ask the woman for it. If the wife went on principle and does not say what exactly you were guilty of, ask your friends. Sometimes, being in the midst of a scandal, you can not notice the obvious facts. When the cause is found, try to fix it. Yes, you may have to break your character or make concessions, but this must be done in order to save love.

What to do if kicked out?

Men are less emotional beings than women. Therefore, when a wife kicks her husband out of the house, a person believes that this is the end of the relationship. But this may not be the case. The fact is that a woman cannot live in conditions of eternal rest. Everyone needs a dose of adrenaline from time to time. If your wife has no hobbies, and her whole life revolves around home and work, it is not surprising that she will try to tickle her nerves at your expense. Scandals for a woman can become entertainment. And a little carried away by the process, the wife will put you out the door. She may think that you understand her game and therefore in 10 minutes you will return and bring flowers from a nearby store. But expectations don't always match reality. A man can go to a friend, not for flowers. Therefore, if you are kicked out, the first thing to do is try to reconcile. Get into the position of a bored woman and entertain her. Make a beautiful and romantic gesture, after which the wife’s heart will definitely melt.

Is it worth it to keep a family because of a child?

Well, if the wife kicks out of the house not as a joke, but seriously? In this case, you need to leave. Men feel responsible for the family and existing children. Therefore, many fathers do not dare to break off relations with the brawler, fearing that in this case the child will not have a father. It is better to let a child grow up without a father than to listen to scandals every day. Children always believe that for their parents they are the center of the universe. And if mom and dad quarrel, then their sun is to blame. That's what any normal child thinks. Don't make your child feel guilty. Do not try to glue relationships that are broken into small parts. Naturally, the child does not need to be abandoned. Explain to the child that mom and dad are having problems, and now they will live separately.

Contact a psychologist

If two adults understand that they love but cannot live together, then they should go to a specialist. Psychological help is not a panacea, but it allows you to look at your own life with different eyes. A man may not know the real reason why his wife kicked him out of the house. Not everyone knows what to do in such a situation. The psychologist will help the couple to establish a normal and frank dialogue. Sometimes people are afraid to talk heart to heart for the reason that they do not know what their frankness can lead to. If everything is under control, and the psychologist gives the green light, not only the causes of today's quarrels, but also the grievances accumulated during the time of living together, can seep out. Are you afraid to turn to a family psychologist, because you don’t know how your friends will react to this? Believe me, no one cares about your personal problems and how to solve them.

What if there's a divorce?

Does your wife say every day that she can't live with you? Some men believe that this is a kind of way to manipulate their minds. But in fact, it should be understood that in every joke there is some truth. The wife may well file for divorce, regardless of your desire. Can she kick you out of the house? If the apartment belongs to a woman, then maybe. But only if you did not make joint purchases for the arrangement of living space. So if you come to the property of your beloved woman, you need to prepare yourself an airbag in advance. Furnish the room at your own expense. This will show the woman the seriousness of your intentions, and at the same time strengthen your rights to the apartment. If the property is legally yours, then there is no need to worry. Legally, a woman cannot kick you out of the house.

When an ex-wife kicks her husband out of the house, she must have a good reason for her act. If the apartment is shared, then the woman has no right to expel the man.

If you decide to leave

The situation when a wife kicks her husband with a child out of the house is very commonplace. This happens to young mothers whose husbands are much older than they are. The girl has not walked up yet, she has a wind in her head. No maternal instinct has awakened in her, the only thing that worries the young lady is the choice of outfit for the next party. You need to leave such a windy girl immediately. Do not be afraid to destroy the family or take responsibility for the child. But it's not worth leaving the apartment to your wife. Do you think this is a noble gesture? File for divorce and demand division of property. A woman must understand that she needs to pay for any mistakes. Evil cannot be left unpunished.

Is it worth returning?

When leaving your wife, be sure to tell her that you will not return. And don't come back, even if you really want to. Otherwise, a woman may think that you are a convenient object for manipulation, and not a real man. A person who does not keep his word is not worthy of respect. A person who does not learn from his mistakes cannot be considered complete. If your wife constantly kicks you out of the house, leave. Why endure a brawler and spoil your nerves? But always warn that now you will leave and will never return. To fall on the same rake, even if they are beloved, does not make sense. A person should always remember the reason why his relationship fell apart. Do you think people change? No. Most people don't do any work on themselves. Therefore, there is no need to return to where you felt bad. It is better to spend time looking for a worthy object for love.

What should I do to not get kicked out?

Every person is unique. But the problems that arise in relationships are most often the same. Above, the answer was given to the question of what to do if the wife kicked out of the house, is it worth returning. The negative answer to it should serve as a lesson for many. What to do to avoid quarrels and scandals? You need to be a careful and sensitive person. Take care of your wife, ask her how she is doing and how her day went. Be sure to make concessions. You will not be considered henpecked if you give in from time to time. If the wife is tired, wash the dishes or floors, cook dinner. Don't put off making requests until later. Wife wants you to help her change the curtains? Help now. Then you will forget about this assignment. Mutual understanding and care will help you maintain a happy marriage for many years.

Hello dear readers! During a quarrel, we all change beyond recognition and do terrible things, for which we are ashamed. We offend loved ones, behave inappropriately. If a loved one, a husband kicks out of the house, what should a woman do? This is the question we will be discussing today. Join and leave your comments.

I will try to give advice on what to do if there is a child in the family, how to fight, if he has an apartment, what does he want to achieve with these words. But let's start with the main thing - when they say such words.

Why does a man do this

Let's consider a situation where a spouse says that it's time for you to move out at every quarrel. Why is he doing this and what does he want to achieve. Many women think that he is trying to get rid of his wife. Actually, this is not necessarily the case.

It is likely that when talking about moving, he uses: “Do not forget who is in charge here. You have to listen to me,” he seems to say.

The husband blackmails the woman, forces her to agree with his opinion and accept his model of behavior, knowing that the wife has nowhere to go, as well as to go. Therefore, in order to stay, she is obliged to obey him implicitly.

If this is your case, I can immediately suggest a book that will be useful - Gennady Starshenbaum "Difficult characters. How to deal with them". It talks about how to communicate with neurotics, masochists, and so on. You will be able to develop a strategy that will allow you to disarm your opponent and deprive him of his best means of influence.

A woman with two children, in order not to injure the child's psyche, will really agree to everything. This is what my husband uses. If the quarrel has reached a dead end, heated up to the limit, then the man will want to stop it by all means, and the best way to scare the enemy is to shock him, to mention a possible move.

How to cope if your husband is afraid of moving

If your husband is only talking about moving out to subdue his wife, then you can handle the situation by showing that you are not afraid of leaving. But you are not going anywhere until you clarify the relationship. How in such situations to insist on a conversation and discuss issues in which it is impossible to agree, I.

At the time of a quarrel, you should not appeal to the voice of reason and convince your husband that divorce and separation are not things that, in principle, can be said, but what he does is pure manipulation. Wait until the emotions subside and you can talk calmly. Also, try to convince yourself that moving is not such a terrible thing.

Look, by saying these words, the husband is trying to scare you. You will have to forget about your fear in order to bring it back to reason. He must understand that his method no longer works. Only realizing this, he will stop manipulating you.

I can offer you a book "An Age of Anxiety. Fears, hopes, neuroses and the search for peace of mind by Scott Stossel to fight the feelings that other people are trying to use against you. I assure you, as soon as you believe in yourself and can get rid of unpleasant emotions, life will become much easier.

The scariest thing?

Do not forget that a husband can talk about moving not only to manipulate and blackmail. Some, in their own words, during quarrels, as it were, prepare a woman for an inevitable break. You will be able to understand this when you are in a similar situation. Unfortunately, there are no standardized indicators here, so you have to rely on your intuition and ability to clarify the situation.

What to do in this case? And again you will be helped in a calm environment. You need to find out what exactly does not suit your spouse and whether he sees alternative ways to solve the problem, except for separation or divorce.

Unfortunately, you will not be able to escape from this situation. Sooner or later, the topic will be open, but already by a man, and not just during a quarrel. Remember, all the most important words are always spoken in a whisper.

That's all for me. Don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter. See you again.

No matter how much a husband and wife love each other, they may disagree on some things. These disagreements can turn into daily conflicts, the result of which may be the separation of the couple. It often happens that wives kick their husbands out. In such a situation, men are confused and do not know how to proceed.

Reasons for disagreement

Common causes of disagreement between husband and wife include:

financial questions

parenting

disagreement in the decision-making process

disagreement in sexual matters

All the points of contact mentioned above can develop into a serious scandal, as a result of which the couple may part.

Kicked out of the house

Often there are situations when a wife kicks her husband out of the apartment, and then the question of what to do if the wife kicked out is very relevant. According to statistics, almost 80% of all divorces are unilateral. And, as practice shows, most husbands are shocked when their wives put their things out the door and file for divorce. In order not to take the relationship to the extreme, experts recommend that at least 4 times a year, talk with your spouse about the state of the marriage and resolve any issues or problems that may put the marriage in danger.

What to do

It must be remembered that if a wife kicked her husband out of the house, then she had a good reason for this. But the husband in this situation should try to convince his wife that their relationship has value, and divorce should not be allowed. Returning home can take place in several stages. To get started you need:

1. Stop hostility. The barrier of hostility is built throughout the marriage. There are points where one of the spouses will definitely not back down, because he feels that he is right and there are all arguments to prove the rightness. The problem is that in almost all couples, both spouses show a desire to be right, the desire to win is poison for relationships where people must work together and understand each other perfectly. If the husband can leave it, then there is a chance for normalization of relations. If the wife kicked her husband out, then the purpose of the first step is to get rid of hostility. Only when the hostility has passed will it be possible to speak correctly and think about returning.

2. Reveal the real problem. Most of the arguments seem to revolve around little unimportant things or "nitpicks" such as household chores, money matters, or personal habits. The husband needs to know that this is not the real reason and the problem, but that all these nitpicks are a signal of some other larger threat to the marriage.

After the reason has been established, the spouses should talk and find out exactly what led them to such a marriage, what became the reason. A person cannot move forward if he does not know what is holding him. Here are some of the possible reasons:

Growing incompatibility. Work, family, stress, finances and everything else in today's world can make people show their true colors. Perhaps the real person is very different from the fairy-tale version.

Infidelity.

Money. For a woman, lack of money can be a real problem. Therefore, growing financial insecurity makes family life impossible.

Sex. If sex is a physical symbol of love for each other, the withering of that symbol can be both emotionally and physically sad.

3. Conversation. If the husband was kicked out of the house, he does not know what to do, then you need to follow the next step. After the reasons for the situation have been clarified, the couple needs to talk. In this case, the husband must adhere to several rules:

Don't blame. Accusing his wife of something, he can only aggravate everything.

Count to three before answering. Many problems in conversation arise from impulsiveness. Therefore, when the wife asks questions, the husband should count to three before answering, thinking about what he will say. Calmness and composure on the part of the husband will produce similar results on the part of the wife.

4. Help from a specialist. Consultation with a family specialist can help correct the situation. A husband with a “kicked out of home” problem can seek help to get the marriage going. The consultant may be able to determine what went wrong. As practice shows, family specialists can quite realistically help save a marriage. In addition to the fact that the specialist will give advice, he can also listen and make a competent conclusion, pointing out mistakes and the correctness of actions.

After all the actions taken, the wife should not be against the return of her husband home. But in order to avoid a repetition of the current situation, you need to try to maintain harmony in the family, for this you need:

Leave time for rest from each other. Sometimes people need an hour or two a week (and sometimes more) to do something for themselves, something that excites them, it can be gardening, cars or just reading books. If one person in a marriage feels infringed on his rights or limited in his freedom, then he will pour out his discontent on his spouse, and this is unlikely to lead to happiness. And after reconciliation - on the contrary, it is necessary to set aside time to do things that both spouses love.

Know how to switch. Couples whose marriages are in danger are often advised to travel, both far and near, because the monotony in life kills all sensations. This is especially important after reconciliation. A joint trip will help to forget all the bad things and revive the faded feelings. However, we must remember that a vacation may not always help. Since, returning to familiar routine work and affairs, disappointment can come very quickly.