Good day, dear readers! In today’s article I want to talk about what to do if a man catches himself thinking: my wife doesn’t want me. Sex is an integral part of family life, and when difficulties arise in this matter, you should not just close your eyes and think that everything will be resolved by itself. Problems in bed are often the cause of divorce. To prevent this, you should follow a few simple rules.

"Bytovukha"

When spouses are married long enough, the relationship can develop into a habit. The worst thing is that sex can also become a regular habit before bed. No passion, no long foreplay, sparks and emotional explosions.

Of course, there are less temperamental people who are content with less colorful scenes than in films. But what to do and what to do if the spouses have lived together for many years and have stopped looking at each other with desire?

“Everyday life” kills all romance and passion. The wife who works, takes care of the house and raises children gets tired and exhausted. When it comes to bed, and a satisfied husband thinks that sex is about to happen, everything happens according to the standard scenario.

He: strokes her thigh and whispers something under his breath.
She: “I have a headache, leave me alone.”
He: dissatisfiedly withdraws his hand and turns away from his missus.

If sex is good, high-quality and mutual, then a woman will never refuse it, except for really bad health or extreme fatigue.

Thus, dear husband, think about whether you yourself became the reason that your missus increasingly began to refuse bed.

East is a delicate matter.

You can learn many subtleties by studying Alex May video courses, an international expert in the field of intimate mastery will not give bad advice.

Women think about sex just as often as men. Yes, women's sexual fantasies are different from men's. Yes, girls often think about romance, candles, slow music and other attributes of “cinema sex.” But, if you don't talk to your partner, you'll never know who's really in bed with you. Perhaps she has repeatedly played out in her head the scenario of a strict teacher and an unlucky student. And you couldn’t even think about it.

Women's sexuality directly depends on a man. First, look at yourself in the mirror. Are you good enough to attract her attention again and again? A small belly, beginning baldness, stretched sweatpants and a stained T-shirt, three-day stubble do not adorn a man. And in this form, arousing a woman is not only difficult, but almost impossible. No wonder wives don't pay attention to their husbands.

Get yourself in order. Women like well-groomed and neat men. The main thing is not to overdo it.

The wife will not refuse a kiss just like that. Think about it, maybe you don’t brush your teeth in the morning and immediately go after her with kisses? Or does she have skin irritation due to her scratchy mustache? Or some other reason that you have no idea about.

The surest way to find out why your wife stopped kissing you is to ask her directly.

Sex for sex's sake

Remember how your love pleasures go. And can they even be called pleasures? Men often make one mistake - they think only about themselves in bed. Thus, the wife turns out to be some kind of sex toy. In order for the spouse not to want someone else, sex must be mutual. Find out what your loved one likes, maybe she wants to try some toys, or maybe she doesn’t get enough roughness from you in bed.

Just wanting your wife is not enough. I will never get tired of repeating that relationships are work. Since sex in bed is part of a relationship, even in this case you will have to make an effort to ultimately get good sex.

Work hard to make your beloved want you again, work on yourself, talk to her, find out about her desires. The main thing is not to sit in one place. Otherwise, the problem will definitely not be solved.

I won’t say that it’s easy to improve relationships in bed. This is work. Painstaking and sometimes very difficult. , renewing feelings, arousing desire turns out to be not always easy. Why do people think about such things when problems come?

If initially the partners talked to each other, shared their thoughts, dreams and fantasies, discussed everything honestly, most likely there would be much fewer difficulties on the joint path to happiness.

I discussed the general issue of relationships in the article.

I hope you solve your problems and can improve your relationship in bed. Thank you for attention. If you liked the article, you can tell your friends and acquaintances about it.
See you again!

As many people say, if you didn’t give it, then suffer alone. Why are so many families falling apart today? The answer is simple: there is no mutual understanding, there is no mutual desire. You just got bored or the bustle of life (being) took away all the beauty and romance. Well, where to go from this existence, what to do to actually become a happy person. Most likely you need to look deep into yourself. Change something inside yourself and then everything will go uphill and everything will work out. And romance and passion and great desire... Everything will come back, you just need the right priorities, they need to be valued and respected, you can’t play with feelings. And then you won't sit alone like a fool.

Let's talk about one question - why does the Wife deny her husband sex?

How often do you hear from men “My wife won’t let me, I don’t understand the reason, I don’t know what to do”... Is it possible to reason with her?

To begin with, I would like to give you one parable. From the life of animals. From the sex life of gorillas.
Biologists observed them - one male and five females - for several years. And they noticed: some representatives of the weaker monkey sex often and persistently offer sex to the male, feigning an extreme degree of readiness. At the same time, the one who is already pregnant is the most active - she clings to her “husband,” the father of her unborn child. Why, one might ask, if the goal has already been achieved and continuation of the family line is ensured? And then, it turns out, so that the male is not distracted by other females. According to scientists, this behavior became a harbinger of monogamy in humans.
The point of the parable: even monkeys understand that a male needs sex, that it strengthens the family. But some human people don’t understand this.

“I’m tired - my head hurts - I want to sleep”
Sexless - psychologists use this term to describe a disgusting phenomenon that has affected both Western and Russian society. Namely, the lack of regular sexual intercourse between spouses. It happens, of course, that husbands deprive their wives of intimate attention. But more often than not, women refuse intimacy. And men, tormented by their libido, hear: “I’m tired - my head hurts - I want to sleep.” Or a completely offensive one: “Where did you go?”

Psychologists have found the answer. But you won't believe how simple and straightforward it is.
The author of one song sings the following words: “You refused me three times, that’s how you are…”
An amazing experiment was conducted by sex therapist from Australia Bettina Arndt. She asked 98 men and women (spouses) to keep anonymous diaries of their intimate lives for a year. And tell them the pure truth. Having received what she wanted, the researcher wrote an entire book
"Why Women Quit Sex and Other Battles in the Bedroom."
Bettina did not make the shocking discovery that there were many reasons. And they are usually different for everyone. But I still came across a few common ones.
First: for some reason, most wives believe that sex should only happen when, where and how they want. But at the same time they do not communicate their thoughts to their husbands. And they simply refuse. Like, you have to understand it yourself. But he, the goat, doesn’t understand. And he climbs. And he gets offended even later.
In other words, wives make their husbands guilty of untimely advances. And they themselves are offended by them - such is women’s logic. And this resentment, in turn, becomes a reason for refusal...
Second: the wife holds some kind of grudge against her husband, even if it’s a very small one: for example, he didn’t take out the trash, didn’t ask how she was doing at work, said nasty things to his mother-in-law. And, sulking, he “punishes” with deprivation of intimacy. But again, it doesn't tell the reason for the sex strike. They are silent as a log.
But even when they say the same notorious “I’m tired - my head hurts - I want to sleep,” many women omit the details. Or maybe they really had a hard day at work. And they are so preoccupied with her that there is no room for thoughts about sex in their heads.
But dear readers, what is the conclusion: the bedroom is not a battlefield for psychics, and husbands are not clever telepaths. They need to explain it in detail. And don’t let things get to the point of deep grievances.

No need for romance, better go straight to bed.
“I love my wife,” someone says, essentially confirming the conclusion of the Australian researcher. - I want a wife all the time, although we have been together for 20 years. But she doesn’t care about me. And all the conversations on this topic yield nothing. He doesn’t go to the doctor: “I’m not sick!” I’m physically healthy - porn turns me on, but knowing this, it doesn’t allow me to turn it on. And nothing helps: we go on vacation, and go to restaurants, and to dances - there are more than enough romances..."
Bettina explains that passion, or even basic lust, which pushes newlyweds into each other's arms, cannot last forever. Moreover, it manifests itself equally in both spouses. Yes, even after many years. The production of sexual hormones responsible for it - passion - fades away in about 18 months.
The researcher has found the most primitive production enhancer - sex. But how can you be “treated” by sex if it doesn’t exist?! Very simple, says Bettina. I can’t through it. Through “I’m tired - my head hurts - I want to sleep.”
A woman must realize the harmfulness of sexless, understand how painful it is for a loving husband and destructive for the family. And do not refuse, always agree when your husband asks. Unless, of course, she was overcome by an attack of appendicitis.

Unfortunately, many married couples face difficulties in their intimate lives, and some husbands complain that their wives are completely untemperamental. And yet, it is important to note that this is a rather rare case when a woman herself has rather low sexual activity. It often happens that husbands who consider their wife cold or almost frigid are surprised to learn that she has a lover. Why does this happen, and how to avoid it?

Why a woman doesn't want a man - the most common reasons

So, consider the most obvious cases due to which a woman may avoid intimacy with her partner.

You've been together too long, your feelings have cooled down

You have been together for more than a month and the former passion, of course, has already been left behind. Some couples, even after several years of marriage, maintain passion in their intimate relationships and “warm up” each other’s feelings, but for this you need to have a mutual desire, constantly show imagination and initiative - for many people this is almost impossible work. And yet, it is important to note that even if you have been together for a long time, there is no extravaganza going on in your relationship, and you are doing nothing to correct this state of affairs, this does not mean that everything is lost for your relationship. If you still live under the same roof, then you have a chance to correct the situation. Remember that everyday life and habit have become enemies to harmony in the relationships of many couples, and this can be changed if desired.

The wife is pregnant or has not yet recovered from a recent birth

The period of waiting for a baby and the first months of life often becomes a happy time in the life of most married couples. And yet, during these months, many spouses are forced to face some restrictions in their intimate lives. Not every husband treats this situation with understanding and patience, which gives rise to conflicts in the family and pushes the woman away even more. Please note that during pregnancy, abstaining from sex is not a woman’s whim, but a serious doctor’s recommendation! You can prove as much as you like that the quality of intimate life of a colleague and his wife has not changed with the onset of pregnancy, but do not forget that each organism is individual, and in contrast to your story, your wife can tell how her friend ended up in a hospital bed after sexual contact with husband. Sometimes, indeed, a woman can refuse intimacy with her husband even without the advice of a gynecologist. Perhaps she intuitively feels that this will not have the best effect on the pregnancy and is afraid for the child (forgive her for this suspiciousness, she wants it to be better), or her libido has decreased, and she really just doesn’t want sex to the point of disgust. The second option, indeed, is common among many pregnant women, and they cannot do anything about it.

Family or work takes all the spouse’s strength

The wife gets so tired at work or while doing family affairs that she simply has no physical strength left for the intimate sphere of her life. There are women who manage to do everything in the world and feel great, almost without sitting down for a minute during the day. Often such energetic individuals grow out of hyperactive girls. And yet, do not forget that it is not for nothing that most women are considered weak and fragile creatures. Of course, this does not mean that they do not need to do anything at work and at home so that their husband can periodically enjoy sex with them, but still, they are often really forced to take on responsibilities that are beyond their strength.

What families usually face this problem? Option one: in the morning the wife goes to work, where she spends the bulk of the day performing her work duties. She comes home at about the same time as her husband (even if a little earlier). After work, she goes to the stove, cooks dinner, does minor housework, checks on her child's homework, or does anything else that doesn't involve just sitting on the couch. What does your husband do after work? He rests, believing that his wife is engaged in completely unburdensome “womanly responsibilities.” Having rested and gained strength after a working day, a man is ready for sexual exploits, while his life partner dreams of only one thing - to sleep. Some husbands are indignant that sex is not work, “lie down and have fun,” and yet the woman thinks so - no matter how you look at it, you need to show at least some kind of physical activity. If a woman is very tired during the day, then thoughts about sex do not excite her at all, and the most pleasant picture she can imagine is taking a hot bath and a sweet dream.

You are no longer an attractive macho man to her.

Your appearance has changed significantly since your first dates with your wife. And we are not talking about natural age-related changes - gray hair or wrinkles. Surely, you know examples of how, with age, some men, on the contrary, acquire a special attraction for women. Many celebrities can serve as an example, including Robert Downey Jr., George Clooney, Tom Cruise and others. These men did not give a damn about themselves, and still remain the heroes of women's dreams. Can you say that you look sexy and alluring to the opposite sex (not just your wife)? Some people, both men and women, once married, stop taking care of their appearance, believing that since they have found their other half, they no longer need to attract the attention of other potential partners. This is a big mistake, because if you stopped taking care of yourself, then you probably lost attractiveness not only to other women, but also to your spouse.

The wife often remains unsatisfied after sex

Some women tell their spouse about this right at the beginning of the relationship or at a time when the quality of their sex life with him begins to deteriorate. If a man does not pay due attention to this problem, then over time, having lost hope that the situation can change, the wife stops expressing her complaints or hinting at them, and instead simply tries to avoid intimacy, not feeling satisfaction from it. Please note that if a woman does not get real pleasure from sex with a man, then she considers such time spent with him to be simply wasted time. The wife may not show this for the first months or even years, but later it will become increasingly difficult for her to hide her disappointment and irritation.

The wife has a lover

This is the saddest development of events that can happen for you in this situation. Of course, it is quite difficult to justify a woman who decided to have an affair on the side, but still you should not shift the responsibility in this situation solely to your partner. Think carefully, could it be that in some way you are also to blame for the fact that your wife has a lover? Were you both satisfied with the quality of your family sexual life? did you give your wife the attention she needed? Have you yourself been involved in any kind of affair on the side in the past? Have you created an unbearable emotional atmosphere in the house, as a result of which your wife could begin to look for an outlet on the side? Can you say that she looked like a really happy woman next to you? Give yourself an honest answer to these questions.

If your wife does have a lover, then this fully explains why she avoids intimacy with you. When it comes to cheating, men and women behave differently. A man can be spurred on by his affair on the side, as a result of which his intimate life with his wife becomes richer and more varied. Women act completely differently - they often focus their attention on only one man. In this case we are talking about a lover. Having received from a new partner what she lacked in marriage, a woman can sincerely fall in love with this man and even believe that by having sex with her husband, she is cheating on “her man.”

Be that as it may, if a woman nevertheless decides to take this step, you have little chance of improving relationships in the family, and, most likely, for a number of reasons, in the end you will still have to separate.

What to do if a wife refuses intimacy with her husband

Of course, such behavior on the part of the spouse cannot be without reason. Try to figure out what exactly dictates your wife’s reluctance to have intimacy with you. In fact, there may be several options.

Find out the reasons for not wanting to sleep together

The easiest way to clarify this question is to ask your wife directly. Find a good time to talk. This conversation should not begin when you or your spouse are irritated or one of you is feeling tired. In this state of affairs, most likely you will face either a scandal or a crumpled and completely unproductive conversation. It would be most appropriate to invite your spouse to a romantic dinner and raise an issue that concerns you in a relaxed atmosphere. Please note that your conversation should not sound like an interrogation with partiality - in this way, you risk only ruining the evening. After a glass of wine, seeing that your wife is relaxed and happy with the evening, offer to talk about what is bothering you. Immediately explain that you are not making a complaint to her, but just want to understand in which direction you should move so that your family life becomes better and suits both of you. If your spouse is not in the mood for a conversation, do not put pressure on her or show aggression. Drop the topic and don't let this evening end badly. Undoubtedly, your wife will appreciate such a step, and next time she will be more open with you.

Take on all men's responsibilities

Often the reasons why a woman refuses sex with her husband lie on the surface, but the man simply does not want to notice them, quite rightly not seeing the connection between a broken refrigerator and his wife’s reluctance to have intimacy. And yet, it is useful for many husbands to know that if they refuse to take on male responsibilities with enviable regularity, delaying the solution of the problem as much as possible, then, sadly, the woman ceases to see him as a man. As a result, this extends to other areas of life - not just household ones. As soon as you begin to monitor the serviceability of the appliances in the house, do not shirk your wife’s requests and your obvious responsibilities, you will begin to notice how your wife’s attitude gradually begins to change. As a result, solving your problem may turn out to be much simpler than you think.

Help her in everyday life and with children

For some time now, it has become the custom that some families (mainly at the suggestion of men) have divided responsibilities into male and female. what does it usually look like? A man nails a nail once a season and repairs a junk TV, and a woman devotes several hours of her life every day to cleaning, cooking, washing, ironing, doing homework with the children, and the like. This situation is tolerable when a woman has the status of a housewife, and the man is the only breadwinner in the family. However, such situations often occur in families where husband and wife work almost equally, only the husband rests after work, and the wife “takes over the second shift.” Over time, a woman begins to understand that it is very difficult for her in such a marriage, and begins to think about divorce as “liberation.” For many men, such a problem seems far-fetched, and meanwhile, more and more women feel unhappy and tired, and, accordingly, in this situation it is quite difficult to be inflamed with passion for their spouse.

Make her feel loved and wanted

Let your beloved woman, being next to you, feel that she once married you for a reason, and now she is as desirable to you as at the very beginning of the relationship. How to achieve this? First of all, do not forget about compliments, which many husbands begin to neglect over time in their family life. Pay attention if your wife has a new hairstyle or simply styled her hair in an unusual way; if she smells of pleasant perfume; talk about how beautiful her smile and eyes are (this is nice to hear not only in the initial stages of dating). In general, compliment not only her culinary skills, as often happens in marriage - “The borscht was especially successful today,” “The meat was well baked,” “What a lush pie!” and so on - but also her appearance. Even if you don’t notice any special changes in your wife, say nice words to her - this can become a great motivation for her to become better and more beautiful, because she will know that “her husband notices.”

Give compliments and flowers

Compliments have already been mentioned, but this is precisely the topic that requires especially close attention, and it should not be remembered in passing, but learned well - it is really very important for a woman to hear words of admiration from a man. Have you ever thought about how a lover usually appears in the life of a woman? It often looks like this: the wife is tired of everyday life and has not felt attention and delight from her husband for a long time. All their topics come down to children, food, cleaning. taking out the trash, repairs and other topics devoid of any romance. Then a “small miracle” happens in a woman’s life: a certain man tells her that she has luxurious hair or eyes “the color of cornflowers.” From that moment on, she begins to think about these words, about this man - she remembers that she is not only a caring mother, wife and housewife, but also a woman who can evoke romantic thoughts in a man. If she has enough romance and family life, then she will simply ignore any characteristic of her smile, eyes and melodic laughter.

Give your beloved woman flowers, make unusual surprises for her, talk about how loved and desired she is, pay attention to changes in appearance, express delight, say kind words, and you will become the best man for her, Whom it is impossible not to desire.

Pleasantly surprise her in bed with new caresses or positions

Over time, the fulfillment of marital duty for many couples becomes somehow mechanical. Everything goes according to a “knurled pattern”, and takes a minimum amount of time or looks rather monotonous. Each sexual act is similar to the previous one, and practically does not cause any trepidation in both the husband and wife. You are quite capable of correcting this situation. Please note that new experiments should not be started when the wife collapses after a hard day at work. It’s best to arrange a romantic evening for the two of you, relax with a glass of wine, “warm up” the woman with affectionate words, and only then get down to business.

This evening, make a point for yourself - first of all, you want to please your wife in bed. Surely, during your married life you have managed to study the erogenous zones of your beloved. Now you can experience new caresses in these areas by first watching an erotic film (choose a project that is popular with the female audience). You can also read relevant literature or ask your beloved if she has any fantasies in this regard. Experiment with the pose, but this night should not be like a beginner acrobat's course - you should not try many innovations at once, in such conditions it is quite difficult for a woman to concentrate and begin to enjoy the process.

What does Orthodoxy say about this?

The Orthodox Church encourages the fulfillment of marital duty - this is a natural phenomenon between loving spouses. It is also worth noting that the church classifies adultery as a sin and, therefore, treats it negatively. In addition, any priest will tell you that during Lent it is better to abstain from intimacy, although there are no strict instructions on this matter - such abstinence should be a mature decision of the husband and wife, which is not dictated by fear of punishment.

• Talk to each other. Most problems turn out to be completely solvable when husband and wife start talking about them with each other and try to find the best compromise. The conversation, of course, should not take place in a raised voice - it is important to choose the right time for dialogue, without putting pressure on your partner, without expressing your displeasure and irritation, but sincerely trying to understand what ways there are to solve an unpleasant situation.
• A change of scenery. In many families, problems begin due to the fact that relationships become bogged down in everyday issues and cease to have any variety. Until you reach the “boiling point,” it is best to change the disgusting environment and forget about your home and work responsibilities for a while, devoting your attention exclusively to each other. The easiest way to do this is on vacation - allow yourself at least a short trip (weekend), and make such outings your family tradition - this will only have a positive effect on your marriage. Go on tours that suit both of you - otherwise the trip may become another reason for a quarrel. Example: a husband loves a relaxing beach holiday, and his wife loves going to museums and exhibitions, but the choice is made in accordance with the preferences of only one of the parties.
• Notice your mistakes. Many families are faced with misunderstanding in relationships and cooling of feelings, due to the fact that they try to shift the blame for a collapsing family onto the shoulders of the partner. If you notice this feature in yourself, then you should seriously reconsider your views. Don't think about how bad your partner is, and how many difficulties have arisen in your marriage solely due to his fault. It is much more productive to start solving the problem with yourself. Think about what you can do for your marriage, for your other half, to improve the atmosphere in the family. Your partner, noticing that you are putting pressure on him and not demanding “feats”, but instead trying for the good of the family, will probably be able to draw the right conclusions for himself and begin to follow your example.

). What means: " due favor"? The wife has no power over her body, but there is slave and mistress together husband

If you shirk your due service, then you insult God; if you want to evade, then only with the permission of your husband, even if it’s for a short time. That is why he calls this matter due, to show that none (of the spouses) has power over themselves, but are slaves to each other. So, when you see that a harlot is tempting you, you say: my body does not belong to me, but to the wife. Let the wife say the same to those who try to violate her chastity: my body does not belong to me, but to my husband. If neither the husband nor the wife has power over their body, then much less over their property. Listen, you who have husbands and you who have wives: if you should not consider your bodies to be yours, much less your property. True, in some places of both the Old and New Testaments great advantage is given to the husband; this is what it says: “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”(Gen.3:16); and Paul in one letter makes this distinction (between spouses): “Husbands, love your wives... and let the wife fear her husband”(Eph.5:25,33); but here (attributed to both) equal power, no more, no less. Why? Because he is talking about chastity. In other respects, he says, let the husband have the advantage, but in chastity - no, neither “The husband has no control over his body”, nor the wife (1 Cor. 7:4). Great equality of honor and no advantage.

“Do not deviate from each other except by consent”(1 Cor. 7:5) . What does it mean? The wife should not, he says, abstain against your will husband, and husband (should not abstain) against your will wives. Why? Because from such abstinence comes great evil; This often resulted in adultery, fornication and domestic disorder. After all, if others, having their own wives, indulge in adultery, then much more (will they indulge in it) when they are deprived of this consolation. Well said: do not deprive yourself; what I called here deprivation, I called above duty, to show how great their mutual dependence is: to abstain to one against the will of the other means to deprive, but by will - not. Thus, if you take something from me with my consent, it will not be a deprivation for me; he who takes against his will and by force deprives. Many wives do this, committing big sin against justice and thus giving husbands a reason for debauchery and leading everything into disorder. Unanimity should be preferred to everything; it is most important. If you want, we can prove it with experience. Let there be a wife and a husband, and let the wife abstain, while the husband does not want it. What will happen? Will he not then indulge in adultery, or, if he does not commit adultery, will he not grieve, worry, get angry, quarrel and cause his wife a lot of trouble? What is the use of fasting and abstinence when love is violated? No. How much grief will inevitably arise from this, how much trouble, how much discord!

If a husband and wife do not agree with each other in the house, then their house is no better than a ship tossed by waves, on which the helmsman does not agree with the helmsman. That is why (the apostle) says : “Do not deviate from each other, except by agreement, for a time, to exercise in fasting and prayer.” Here he means prayer performed with special care, because if he forbade those who copulate to pray, then where would the time for unceasing prayer come from? Hence, Can and with his wife to copulate and pray; but with abstinence, prayer is more perfect. He didn’t just say: pray, but: abide, because the (marriage) matter only distracts from this, but does not cause defilement. “And then be together again, so that Satan does not tempt you.” So that you do not think that this is a law, it also adds a reason. Which one? “So that Satan does not tempt you.” And so that you know that it is not the devil who is the only perpetrator of adultery, he adds: "by your intemperance."

In view of the fact that many abstain and have pure and chaste wives, they also abstain beyond due, so that abstinence becomes a reason for adultery, in view of this he (Apostle Paul - Editor of Pravblog) says: let everyone use his wife. And he is not ashamed, but enters and sits on the bed day and night, embraces husband and wife, and unites them to each other, and calls out loudly : “Do not deviate from each other except by consent”(1 Cor. 7:5). Do you observe abstinence and do not want to sleep with your husband, and he does not take advantage of you? Then he leaves home and sins, and in the end his sin is caused by your abstinence. Let him sleep with you better than with a harlot. Cohabitation with you is not prohibited, but cohabitation with a harlot is prohibited. If he sleeps with you, there is no guilt; if with a harlot, then you have destroyed your own body. So, [the apostle] sits down almost on the wedding bed and cries out: “Do not deviate from each other except by consent.” That's why you [wife] have a husband, and that's why you [husband] have a wife, to maintain chastity. Do you want to have abstinence? Convince your husband of this, so that there are two crowns - chastity and harmony, but so that there is no chastity and battle, so that there is no peace and war. After all, if you abstain, and your husband is inflamed with passion, and yet adultery is forbidden by the apostle, then he must endure storm and excitement. But “Do not deviate from each other except by consent”. And, of course, where there is peace, there are all blessings; where there is peace, there chastity shines; where there is agreement, there abstinence is crowned; and where there is war, chastity is undermined. But do not deviate from each other except by consent. Every steward of marriage is surpassed by Paul, the steward of the universe. Therefore he is not ashamed to say: “Let everyone’s marriage be honest and the bed undefiled”(Heb. 13:4). After all, its Lord Himself came to the wedding, giving honor to the marriage with His presence, and even brought gifts, turning water into wine. So, strive [in abstinence] as much as you want; But when you become weak, take advantage of [marriage] fellowship, so that Satan does not tempt you. Here are three ways of life: virginity, marriage, fornication. Marriage is in the middle, fornication is below, virginity is above.

Virginity is crowned, marriage is commended in proportion, fornication is condemned and punished. So, keep it in moderation in your abstinence, depending on how much you can curb the weakness of your flesh. Do not strive to exceed this measure, lest you fall below any measure. Just as someone who wants to dive goes as far into the water as he can go, but when he enters, he looks at how far he will have to return, so be chaste as much as you can bear, so as not to fall beyond measure.

Sources: St. John Chrysostom.

When getting married, all young couples are sure that their family will be the strongest and happiest. But for a “reliable rear” to truly remain so, both husband and wife will have to put in a lot of effort, mutual understanding and patience. And this is where it’s worth talking about such a concept as “marital duty.”

What is marital duty in the relationship between spouses?

In the first months after the painting, fulfilling marital duties gives the newlyweds exceptional pleasure. But, alas, over time, everyday life and a number of other circumstances of family life after the wedding begin to take over.

And one of the common problems in families is that the wife refuses to fulfill her marital duty or does it reluctantly. If we are not talking about the lack of love and the presence of a third person in a relationship, then we can identify a number of reasons that negatively affect the sex life of spouses.

What affects the quality of a couple’s intimate relationship:

It is so inherent in nature that a woman is more relaxed about the intimate side of the issue; for a man, on the contrary, it is very important to receive “satiation” and pleasure from his wife. Otherwise, he goes looking for sexual satisfaction on the side.

Any of us can make our husband fall in love with us again and again. You just have to take care of yourself, envelop your spouse with care and attention, develop and be an interesting conversationalist, and don’t be afraid of sexual “discoveries.”

A morally and physically satisfied man is unlikely to go “left”. But if problems arise in the family with sexual satisfaction, it is worthwhile either on your own or with the help of a specialist to understand the psychology of family relationships.

Marital Debt Law

In the fall of 2016, deputy E.B. Mizulina proposed introducing fine for men who shirk their marital duty or perform it, let’s say, without much enthusiasm. Moreover, the minimum norm for men under 45 years old is also stipulated - once a week! Time will tell whether the bill will be passed. But at the moment, in the Family Code of the Russian Federation there are no obligations or prohibitions regarding intimate relationships in married couples. Therefore, if a wife or husband does not fulfill their marital duty, it is unlikely that they will be punished by law.

The exception is a marriage contract. Here you can indicate how many times a week your wife/husband should perform marital duties and other important points for you. At the same time, the points should not contradict current legislation (prostitution, humiliation of human dignity, etc.).

And yet, what is marital duty according to the law:

• Pair equally resolves joint issues relating to family life;
• Husband and wife have the right to independently choose their occupation, profession, place of residence and stay;
• The responsibilities of spouses include building family relationships on mutual assistance and respect. Each of the couple should help strengthen the family and participate in its well-being, take care of the development and well-being of the children.