It is quite difficult to part with a loved one, because so many bright moments have been lived with him. But it is even harder to start all over again, because it is not clear who you are to each other - friends, enemies or loving people. How to understand that an ex-boyfriend wants to return and be together again? Is it worth stepping into the same water twice? After all, you don’t know if your ex is sincerely ready to renew a relationship, or if this is some kind of tricky move. You can understand all this if you take a closer look at his behavior, perhaps he sincerely repents and seeks to return everything to normal.

How to understand that the ex wants to return? Signs that he has repented and wants to rekindle the relationship

1. He is interested in your personal life. . Your friends often tell you that the former, when meeting with them, is always interested in your affairs. He is aware of everything that happens to you, starting from the smallest details with whom you recently met, and ending with your serious problems - illnesses, a scandal with superiors, etc. This behavior can be alarming. It remains only to conclude that for him your relationship has not ended, his feelings for you are still strong. Otherwise, why would he know so much about your personal life?

2. He controls you on social media. In the modern world, it is customary to share your life on social networks, so it is not surprising when someone subscribes to your Instagram page or reads your Facebook news. But when there are likes everywhere from the former under your photos, especially those just placed, then the thought suggests itself - he is watching you. It is also interesting that he comments on all of them with beautiful compliments or funny phrases that you often exchanged as a couple. His friendliness can be regarded as a sign that he is not indifferent to you and is waiting for you to let him into your life again.

3. He calls when he is drunk. If your ex calls while intoxicated and makes excuses for his behavior that led to a discord in the relationship, then you should believe in their sincerity. After all, the words and actions of a drunk are often the thoughts of a sober person. Well, if he does this systematically, then this indicates that you do not get out of his head. The former is just waiting for a reason to call, but on a drunken head, you should not even expect him.

4. You do not know anything about his personal life. He carefully hides his private life, and perhaps he really does not have it. Why did it happen? Perhaps he keeps everything a secret for a reason, he just wants or even counts on being able to return you, and therefore tries not to hurt your feelings. And the information that he has another may push you to the idea of ​​finding a mate too, which will separate him many steps back from his goal - to be together again. In addition, in this way he makes sure that after the reunion, which he is counting on, he does not have to make excuses for a riotous lifestyle.

5. Friendship with your family. If a person is ready to break with someone forever, then he will do it, and even more so he will not adhere to friendly relations with your loved ones and relatives. After all, it's completely pointless. But if he has a hope to return everything, then he may suddenly become very friendly, for example, with your mother or brother. At first glance, there is nothing strange here, especially if they were close before. What now, because of your separation, stop communicating with friends? The ex constantly calls or texts his "friend", finds out about your latest news, and at the same time says hello to you. And one day you suddenly meet him at a family dinner, where he behaves like a real gentleman - gallant, cheerful and sociable. What is not a step towards rapprochement?

6. It saves your joint photos. Check out his social media page sometime. Did you notice that your photos, where you are together, he never deleted? Perhaps your notes that you once wrote to him also remained. Of course, he could just forget to remove all this from his page. Look later. Even after a long time the photos are in place? This may be a sign that he remembers you and wants to renew the old connection again. Well, why would he keep the image of a person who is no longer interesting to him?

7. He tries to get better . Men are not used to working on themselves in order to improve themselves (the exception is physical form), so couples often break up because they cannot accept a partner as he is. But sometimes breaks in a relationship can work a miracle: even if you didn’t reproach your loved one for anything, he still tries to show himself on the good side. He can change his hairstyle, as you once advised him, take care of his wardrobe, or change his job to a more paid one, if you once had complaints about this on your part. All this is done so that you give him a second chance.

Of course, the above points are not reliable information that your ex-boyfriend has repented and wants you back. But it’s worth thinking about, especially if your feelings for him have not faded yet.

Warning. This article is addressed to women who are experiencing the departure of a man. He - left, she - remained. Therefore, in the article it sounds that He- did badly. This is not a manifestation of sexism. It happens that a woman leaves, causing pain to a man. Will the husband return to the family? The tips in this article apply in this situation as well.

At the consultation: “I wake up in the morning, go to work. I'm busy at work, I don't have time to think. But in the evening - it begins! I remember everything I did wrong. All your mistakes. That it was necessary to allow him both this and that, when he asked. I think, if I behave differently now, will he come back? Want to know. Suddenly he'll be back."

He may return. That family that was will not return. That, what was before will not return. This is 100% accurate.

Will the husband return to the family? Time to think.

The decision on the final separation is comprehended in the first 2-3 weeks. Did I write about this in an article? If, after this period, he still has not changed his mind, has not come with an apology that he got excited, then the decision is final. For you. Now I will explain why.

To be honest, men feel when they are expected. Even if a man left not just like that, but “somewhere”, then the decision to part was probably not easy for him. He's scared too. Understanding that there is an "alternate airfield" makes life very easy.

Therefore, it is in the interests of a man that you wait for him. The longer the better. And if all my life - so generally excellent. You can't blame him for this. In general, it is better not to think about it. Absolutely, in any respect, both positive and negative. Just know - You are free to decide whether to wait or not to wait.

Of course, you can close the door forever from the very moment of his departure. But so few succeed. Therefore, decide for yourself (and maybe with him) that there will be time to think. Two or three weeks. This is the time you are willing to wait. Then the bridges were burned.

How to understand if he wants to return?

You certainly know the expression " to get on one's nerves". Oh, how many descriptions of this process I heard!

• Then he calls and says that everything is bad with him. And the ex-wife is already "flying" - he will return! Then he does not call for three days, and his ex-wife sees a photo on his page with another woman.
• Or he doesn't come for things. Postpones all the time. Seems like by accident.
• He can also mention in conversations all the time that it was because of the mistakes of the former that he left. Hint that, if it were not for her mistakes, she would not have destroyed the family. Yes, yes, he was forced to leave because of her mistakes.

All these cases leave the woman with the idea that the husband can return. If she changes, or if he forgives her, or if he has there nothing will work.

But this is deception. Rather, even self-deception. Therefore, there is no need to look for evidence that he is considering the option of returning.

The only confirmation that the husband is considering the option of family reunification can only be an open statement: "I need to understand myself. Please give me time!". This is honest. This is smart. It is a rarity.

Everything else is from the evil one. There is no sign that he wants everything back. Maybe he is rushing about because he is scared (see above). The more he rushes about, the more he gets on your nerves. Maybe not on purpose. But these throwing - not evidence that he wants to return.

How can I help my husband return to the family?

If your man has taken time out to make a final decision, then you can help him. Here are actions that will help you make a positive decision and help you understand whether the husband will return to the family. The points.

1. Give him time to think alone. That is, do not call. Don't cross paths with him. Do not remind yourself through friends and relatives.
2. Protect yourself from mistakes. An example of a mistake is "accidental" intimacy with another man as revenge.
3. Keep criticism of him to yourself.

It turned out not very much, but the point is not in quantity, but in quality. By violating these principles, you are very effective in the direction of the complete destruction of relationships.

Is it possible to miss the chance?

Very scary to hear “I wanted to go back, but you yourself ruined everything!”

I have never seen such cases. Yes, sometimes the husbands come back. But it doesn't happen that you did something, because of which he could not return, although he wanted to.

Theoretically, this is, of course, possible. If he kneels in the door next to the suitcase and asks for forgiveness, and you silently slam the door. This is probably the only scenario where "I wanted to, but you ruined everything"

Point of no return.

When you are no longer with him, everything seems meaningless and terrible. Life turned upside down. There is nothing further. Because you are used to a different life. You are waiting for everything to come back. It will be like it was again.

But it won't be the same as it used to be.

Yes, there are times when couples get back together. A month, a year, it doesn't matter. But any of these pairs will confirm that, having come together again, they began to live in a completely different way. New relationships, new rules.

That is, a person may be physically the same, but the family is different. At heart, people change because of the stress they have experienced.

Accept it as a fact. You definitely cannot return “that” man, that image of him, and “that” relationship.

Every time a thought pops into your head - “What if he comes back?”, remind yourself that HE, such as he was, will not return.

When discussing life after divorce with women, I come across descriptions of situations when a husband returns. Here is how it is described:

"Him there nothing succeeded. He asked for forgiveness and wanted to return. Of course, I didn't drive him away. Yes, I was very hurt and hurt, but still I love him! We started living together again. But I couldn't do it the way I used to. Like the same person. But now I know that he is lying. Can lie. Can hurt. I used to enjoy looking at his smile. And now that smile pisses me off! Because I know who he is! Basically, everything has changed.”

How not to ask yourself this again and again?

Even if we assume that the husband rashly decided to part, then in 3 weeks he managed to cool down, to think. And think three more times. Three weeks is the deadline.

If he has not yet come, then waiting for him further is just a mockery of himself. Make a decision - "I no longer look forward to his return!"

Now your best friend intelligence. Your protector, your support, your hope. Trust him. Mind said - I CAN'T WAIT TO RETURN!" Now, every time you catch yourself trying to dream about the return of your husband, get distracted. By force of will or by accident.

Do you know how to effectively help children not be afraid to do their homework? On the principle of "cut the elephant into slices." That is, you first need to spend a few minutes preparing the textbooks. Then - a break for other things. After some time, we open the textbooks on the desired page, put a notebook in front of the textbook. Distracted again. After some more time, they sat down and did one task. We don't take anything off the table. So, gradually, all the tasks will be done. But this is not the main thing. The main thing is that the child will not be afraid of the process.

Why did I give this example? In addition, it is necessary to distract from memories and thoughts about returning in the same way. Wherever you live - around the apartment, on the way to work - there should be little charms.

Let's say you lay out the elements of your hobby on the table. And in the kitchen - open the book in the place where the desired recipe is. And in the room - just a book that you read. And lay the route to work in such a way as to walk past beautiful shop windows. That is, you must constantly be distracted by something.

To be honest, I wouldn't recommend it for any other situation. Usually they ask for help to concentrate. But now you have the opposite goal.

Is it fair? While your man decides what he wants, you cannot drink, eat, breathe. This does not mean that he is cruel. He is ordinary. And here you are - you waste time and nerves. No matter what he decides, you are hurt here and now. Instead of predicting what decision he will make, think about yourself. How take away your pain. Do not expect gifts of fate, eh.

The reasons for a divorce from a husband can be completely different circumstances: from his infidelity to unwillingness to provide for the family. The initiator of the separation is most often women, but sometimes men. In this case, the fair sex is very hard going through the gap, secretly hoping that things can still get better. But how to understand what the ex-husband is thinking about when he constantly finds a reason to talk, meet or come to visit. Is it possible to trust him and whether he will betray again.

How to understand the former. What does he want

After parting, as a rule, communication between people who were once in love with each other ceases. Each of them needs time to recover, get used to the changes that have taken place in life, analyze everything that has happened, understand themselves. Women try to understand where they were wrong, what they did wrong, what they did wrong, even if their husband cheated on them. At this time, it is very important not to overdo it with soul-searching and searching for all conceivable and unthinkable shortcomings in yourself. People are imperfect, and not all troubles are to blame for a person himself. It is very important to allow others to take responsibility for their own mistakes, rather than taking the blame for them. Therefore, you do not need to immediately believe what the ex-husband will say when he appears on the threshold again.

Very often, as soon as the representative of the sex gets used to the fact that her life changes its course, she has new problems and responsibilities that require attention and strength, the former begins to constantly remind of herself. If there are children together, this can be attributed to his desire to be with them, but when he meets every now and then, wherever you go, calls with or without reason, tries to establish communication, although you broke up a few months ago, he pursues his own goals. But they are not always, unfortunately, associated with his repentance or desire to improve and become the man you love again, learn to trust and be proud of.

Rarely, parting is painless and with the consent of both parties. Therefore, after it it is so difficult to establish friendly communication and you just want to forget everything, like a bad dream. If there is no way to avoid meetings, your ex-husband's attempts to see you as often as possible may indicate his desire to improve relations. Do not rush to draw conclusions and do not rush to meet him. Focus on your feelings. If meeting him makes you angry, angry or sad, ask him not to bother you so often or for a while, explain that you are not ready yet. If you don't feel like talking to him at all, say so. Do not give him hope, do not try to be overly educated when a person does not understand hints that he is not welcome at all.

If you leave yourself a chance to try to build a relationship with him again, and he agrees to leave you alone for a while, and then starts calling again, asking to meet and talk with him, do not refuse. Even if the relationship does not develop into something big, then at least you will no longer bitterly recall the years you lived together or regret that you did not try to give the relationship another chance. After all, it is so important not to harbor resentment in your soul, not to torture yourself in vain, but to treat this page in life as a useful experience that allows you to take a fresh look at the world around you and your personal life.

In the same case, when the man himself decided to break off the relationship and after a while he is looking for a meeting with you, it means that he began to doubt the decision made. Do not think that he will quickly offer to live together. At the moment, he is trying to understand whether he did the right thing, did not rush, whether he made a mistake. If you want him back, give him a reason to stay. Show him that you understood your mistakes, corrected yourself and are ready to build relationships together and accept him as he is, without trying to correct him or criticizing him for any reason.


When he calls only when he is in a very cheerful state, after taking a few glasses of alcohol, he appears at night, and then disappears again without explaining anything, unfortunately, for him, the ex-girlfriend is just a convenient option. He's not going to come back. Everything suits him. He spends his free time with friends, relaxes and goes about his business, but when he wants to feel care and affection, he remembers the former. He has not changed, he has not admitted his mistakes, he is not going to change anything in his life. There is no need to talk about any feelings here. It will not work to return it, and to restore good relations too. If you don’t want to feel like an “alternate” airfield, try to explain to him as quickly as possible that you have a new life and there is no place for him in it. Have pity on yourself, let him go and allow yourself to enjoy life, and not depend on the whim of a man who simply uses you for personal interests.

• If a husband left the family because of another woman, but does not refuse to communicate with you, this does not mean at all that he still loves you. Look at him and his behavior. In the case when he promises to come to help and does not come, without even bothering to call and warn that he will not come, his feelings have cooled down, and he only agrees to help you out of the kindness of his heart. Do not waste the best years of your life on him, hoping that he still loves you and will return soon. Forget about it and take care of your own personal life. But if his new passion does not want your communication or she has some problems, and he prefers to help you, then not everything is so smooth in his new family. If you managed to forgive him and want to return him at all costs, surround him with care, become an understanding, affectionate woman with whom he is so connected. And very soon he will return home. Good things don't go away...

• The ex-spouse constantly calls and asks how you live, if you need his help, he definitely wants to return home. So it depends only on your desire when this happens. But don't agree to take it back too soon. Let him realize that you respect yourself and give him one last chance, so he should appreciate him. Otherwise, he will perceive your surrender as his personal victory and decide that you are crazy about him and forgive everything that he does not do. You must respect yourself, otherwise in a few years everything can happen again.
• If a man continues to take care of you, pamper you with small gifts, has become much more affectionate and attentive than when you lived together, he is again trying to win you over. An ex-husband who was caught cheating in this way tries to make amends, hoping that everything can still be fixed. And the man you broke up with because he disappointed you is trying to convince you that you were in a hurry to break up, and demonstrates how good he is and deserves your love.
• When conversations with an ex-husband on the phone drag on, and the calls themselves are heard more and more often, and he repeats how pleased he was to hear you, he wants to be there and renew the relationship.
• Trying to do things together that unite you does not yet speak of his desire to return. He may still have feelings for you, but not strong enough to rekindle a relationship. Thus, he controls you, creating the illusion that he has everything under control and not wanting to part with the sense of stability that you gave him.
• When any conversations between you, one way or another, come down to a discussion of why you broke up, he has not yet realized why this happened and wants to understand how to get everything back on track. Male pride does not allow him to admit his own mistakes. Only you can deal with this situation. If you need him, let him know that you do not mind trying to start over and gently hint where he was wrong. If you want to be free of it forever, stop communicating altogether.
• If he is often interested in your mutual acquaintances, how you live, with whom you communicate, he is interested in learning about your status. On the one hand, it can be ordinary jealousy, when feelings have not yet cooled down, in which case there is every chance to return it, and on the other hand, a sense of ownership, as they say neither to oneself nor to people.

Do not rush to draw conclusions until you are sure that the ex-husband has really realized his mistake and is ready to correct it. Do not try to find out the truth by seeking answers from him. Watch him, test him, and only after that make a decision: does it converge with him again or is it better to limit your communication forever.

On the day of the wedding, no one thinks about how the future life of the newlyweds will turn out. Everyone hopes for long and happy years together, but sometimes it turns out differently. At the stage of divorce, people often do not understand how they made the wrong choice, where they went wrong, why they trusted the person who betrayed. A difficult and painful path of “recovery”, getting used to and arranging a new life begins. But sometimes in a series of days something like another shake-up happens again, only this time it is not clear whether it is for the better or not - the husband wants to return to the family after his departure. How to make the right decision in this case, how to react?

Should I take my husband back?

Psychologists note that the return of a spouse after “all bridges have been burned” is a very painful and controversial issue. The reason for this is the separation that has already taken place, which was the result of his misconduct. If the husband reveals a desire to return, the wife often cannot understand whether this is good or bad, it is worth rejoicing or continuing to build her own new life without this person. Spouses remember everything that happened between them, and this burden of resentment and anger needs to be applied somewhere. In order to understand yourself, you need to do a simple thing.

Disagreements between husband and wife

Do not deceive yourself, you need to put the facts on paper. This will make it clear and convincing. There was something in your life that led to a breakup. No need to think that with the return of her husband, everything will return to normal before the moment problems arose. It is necessary to concentrate and write everything that did not suit you in your husband during your life together. It is best if he does the same, honestly and openly explaining to you your possible mistakes and mistakes. This is how you decide whether you can live with it or if it is worth changing and whether you are ready for change.

This is the first part of the work on oneself, which will lead to a partial answer to the question of what to do if the husband wants to return to the family.

Why did the husband return?

The second part of the solution will be more complex. If at first you had to openly admit what does not suit you in your partner and him in you, then at the next stage you need to understand why you need to reunite and whether you need to at all.

A positive answer to the question of reunification is usually based on the following pros:

1. the presence of children;
2. difficult financial situation;
3. social status.

Analyze your own feelings and life before parting. Did the children feel good when their parents were on the verge of a divorce, how did you behave during this stressful period of time, can you provide for yourself?

The husband wants to return to the family: the opportunity to restore the cell of society, return the father to the children, resolve a long-growing conflict, a chance to improve life forever, get rid of tension, worries and mutual claims

Why is family reunification necessary?

The main motive for family reunification should not be the desire of the husband to return, but why it is worth doing it. If you understand the meaning of the situation, you will avoid a period when you will constantly want to pry or “prick” your spouse. You will be able to clearly understand what issues are important to you, and what troubles you can bypass and not swear.

If you do not understand why you returned everything that was, then ugly and unpleasant situations are possible. You will again not trust, suspect that in the end it will weaken you and lead to the same parting. Do you need these negative emotions and stress again?

Sometimes, deceiving yourself, you will believe that the family needs to be reunited, but in fact you will feel disgusting in it. You will understand that there is nothing that was the basis of a life together that cannot revive feelings. The result in this case will be similar to the previous situation.

Do the necessary and important thing - think. Try to disengage from good memories and sentimental moments. Weigh all the pros and cons.

Arrangements between spouses

You need to understand that everything that will be created by you after parting, everything will be different. It happens because you have already experienced serious problems, it will remain with you for life. You looked at each other differently, you are already different people. Based on the previous review, there are many things you need to discuss:

1. How will you resolve conflict situations?
2. Are you willing to change?
3. Is it permissible to mention past events.

Reunification in this case is a mutual work. Nothing will work, if only one side will work. If you perceive your husband as guilty and earning forgiveness, you will not be able to create anything but a temporary union, the fate of which is deplorable.

If the husband wants to return to the family, this does not mean that you need to accept him favorably and then point out his act all the time. This will not achieve anything, just amuse a little pride. In addition, it may provoke new quarrels.

Remember that the main thing is not to be under the same roof again. The most important and difficult thing is to understand if you need it, if you want to live with this person again. Be honest with yourself, do not look for the reason in children or money. Constant quarrels and reproaches are not the best atmosphere for children. You should also not be guided by public opinion. Everyone has the right to happiness, and if you are not happy at the thought that your husband wants to return to the family, then you do not need to force yourself to look happy. Only you can take responsibility for deciding how your future life will turn out.

One of the hardest things about a breakup or divorce is when the person who used to be the center of your universe no longer wants to be a part of your life. And the worst thing about this, besides the pain of parting, changing habits, circle of friends, material and emotional components, a picture of the world and plans for the future, is when you remain suspended in the air, not being sure whether or not to wait for him back.

However, knowing for sure that your ex does not want to return, you should move on, no matter how hard it is. If you don't, you'll end up spending a lot of time in fruitless and woeful waiting while your ex freely enjoys his new life.

Here are 10 signs that will help you understand whether reconciliation is worth counting on:

1. Your ex is not returning your calls or messages.

It's okay if he doesn't respond a few days after the breakup. Maybe he just needs time and space free from you in order to think and make a decision. However, if after weeks and months he doesn't bother to "see" your messages and never picks up or calls back, even if you call every day, then it's clear that the person doesn't want to communicate with you anymore.

1. All your items and/or gifts have been returned.

It's usually hard to get things back after a breakup if you still love the person, because that means letting them go forever. That's why if your ex gives you back what you gave him, returns the photo and your personal things, it may be a sign that he has already let you go.

1. Your ex makes no effort to reconcile, and your efforts are taken for granted.

If after a few weeks or months you are still doing everything to get him back, but he doesn't seem to care about it, then you better stop. You are only wasting time. If the person still wants you back, they won't ignore you for a long time because they can't take the fact of breaking up with you for granted.

1. He tells you, "I'm tired."

When a person gets tired of a relationship, he does not want to continue it. So, if your ex tells you that he is tired of you, then accept this fact and then stop pushing for a meeting. You better give him a place and time to rest: if the reason is only fatigue, a break from each other can help both you and him rethink your relationship, and make a final decision.

1. His family no longer accepts you.

Usually, if you are welcomed and recognized in your boyfriend's or husband's house, you become part of the family. Therefore, whenever the two of you fight each other, they will tell you about reconciliation. They will even bring you back to reconcile. However, if the family is already cold to you this time around, it might be because your ex has made it clear to them that he doesn't want to come back anymore.

1. Your ex doesn't want to see you.

If your ex still loves and wants to take care of you, then he will be dying to see you again. However, if after several of your invitations for lunch or coffee, the ex does not agree to a meeting, then he is not interested in returning to you.

What about random collisions with each other? If your ex seems unperturbed and not happy to see you after a few weeks or months of separation, then this means that he does not want to hear from you or see you anymore. If a person is still not indifferent to you, then the moment of the meeting would be especially emotional for him.

1. He speaks openly about new relationships and freely posts information about them on social networks.

Even if you have already broken up, but your ex still loves you, he will not want you to suffer. No loving man will do anything that would completely alienate you, because he still hopes for reconciliation. However, if he's already dating someone else, and especially if he's doing it in public, it means you were just not aware of the infidelity. And then you already know for sure the answer to the question of whether to wait for your ex back or not.

1. He doesn't care if you're dating someone new.

Similarly, if your ex doesn't seem to care that you've already found someone new, then he's no longer with you. If he still loves, he usually expresses anger or bitterness directly or indirectly. He can stand up to the opponent and can even make you and him understand that he wants you back.

1. You are being told that you deserve someone better.

This line of behavior is a cliché commonly used when "kicking" someone out of a relationship. Usually this excuse is used by a man to free himself from the guilt of hurting someone. Someone who truly loves their partner will do whatever it takes to earn that person's attention. So, if your ex keeps using this trick on you every time you try to get back with him, you need to understand what his words really mean.

1. He seems happy and content with his current life.

If the breakup was not a loss for your ex, then it shows in his behavior. Yes, it's normal when he misses you, but if he seems to have calmed down without you, then he may think that breaking up was a good decision. You can see this if he doesn't look tense, gloomy or lifeless - common signs when a person is going through a difficult time.

If you notice at least half of the signs listed above, then do not harbor illusions: he will not return. Believe me, everything will still be fine, and life does not end when the love for you passes. There are many more reasons to keep going. Don't focus on your loss. Instead, be grateful for the attentions you receive and appreciate the people who continue to be with you.

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