We all know what charm is. This is when a person may be unremarkable in appearance, but for some reason you are drawn to him. In the article we will try to understand the definition of the concept and show the reader its possible genesis. So, what is charm?

Charming girls will always win over beautiful girls

Turgenev has an aphorism: “Beautiful girls are beautiful, but they are only in second place after the cute ones.” Surprisingly, it's true. People are usually a little afraid of beauty. They are very wary of marrying such women. It is believed that if a man does not have money and position in society or beauty, then he is acting risky when he chooses a beauty for his wife. Charming girls, on the contrary, are in great demand because they are not, as a rule, spectacular in appearance, but at the same time it is easy and pleasant to live with them. Thus, female charm is something that defies rational explanation. A charming person is someone you want to be around.

Are charm and beauty compatible?

Of course, but there is one caveat. Monica Bellucci (famous actress) says: “Beauty for a woman is a problem only in two cases: when it is not there; when there is nothing but beauty."

Indeed, when beauty does not imply the spiritual depth of a person, then it does little to help a woman in life. She has absolutely no charm or charm. Although, of course, such an assessment is largely a matter of taste. Some people very likely like girls who are stupid as a plug and have model looks.

When beauty is combined with intelligence and rich inner content, then such a woman becomes a weapon of mass destruction for men. Unfortunately, this is a relatively rare combination, because people usually take the path of least resistance.

Charm is a combination of intelligence and ordinary appearance

A. Schopenhauer said that intelligence can be found more likely in an ugly girl than in a beautiful one. We talked a little higher about least resistance. This is added to the same piggy bank. In general, girls who are attractive, sweet, but not too beautiful, consciously or subconsciously understand that, figuratively speaking, you won’t be satisfied with just their appearance, so they begin to work on themselves with terrible force. By improving themselves, they acquire charm. This is the quality of a woman when she attracts both intellectually and sexually, although at first glance it is not clear in what way. For example, Audrey Tautou, who played Amelie, has this magical property.

Film "The Most Charming and Attractive"

Another interesting Soviet film is that the focus of which is precisely charm as a phenomenon. Moreover, the film insists that this quality is developed through banal auto-training (Nadya and Susanna spoke in the manner of Buddhist monks: “I am the most charming and attractive ...”).

Although the point is not at all about auto-training and not about programming yourself. It’s just that Nadya Klyueva began to show sincere interest in men, and it worked. Why? Because often, although men are unlikely to admit it, they are tired of playing the role of game hunters, tired of asking the girl what she is interested in, what she is interested in. They themselves want some spontaneous attention. Thus, Nadya answered their silent request.

In addition, in some moments the main character showed remarkable nobility when, for example, she allowed Volodya Smirnov to go to a concert of a terribly popular group not with her, but with an outside girl, but at her expense (she gave her ticket to her colleague). Agree that this behavior is admirable.

Shoemaker without shoes

And yet the filmmakers want to believe in the spontaneity of charm. Because if the science of psychology develops some schemes in this matter, then it will already be a boring life. Imagine if everyone you meet and cross has charm. Scary, right? Every time we meet someone like that, we will think: “Does he turn on his charm or is it natural to him?”

Realizing this, the writers made it so that Susanna herself in the film suffers a virtual collapse in her personal life (her husband cheats on her). Despite all the psychological tricks, she herself cannot become happy according to order.

Seeing that various kinds of mantras do not work in love, Nadya Klyueva ultimately made the right choice: of all the men around her, she reached out to the one who, even without any auto-training, was breathing unevenly towards her - her table tennis partner (Gene Sysoev ).

Charm is a sign of kindness of soul

A bad and vile person can have charm. This is a kind of charisma, i.e. special quality. For example, gigolos or hangers-on have similar psychological “hooks” in their arsenal. But this is not a spontaneous, sudden magnetic impact, but rather a controlled impact.

If a person has natural (or independently developed exclusively for peaceful purposes) inner charm, this cannot be a sign of a bad person. Feel free to love and be friends with him. He won't let you down. Of course, conflicts of fate may be different, but charm is usually inherent in people who are unable to quit or cause pain without good reason.

Alexandra Makarova, a graduate of the Far Eastern State Academy of Economics and Management with a degree in economics and enterprise management, became the new commercial director of MegaFon - North-West. Previously, she held a similar position at Mobikom-Khabarovsk CJSC.

We are publishing excerpts from an interview that Ms. Makarova gave to the Far Eastern Capital publication in 2007.

- Sasha, you have made quite a successful career in a very short time. Where did you start?

I started as an administrator in the customer service department at the Primtelephone company in Vladivostok. This was in 2000. (However, according to the official biography, Ms. Makarova began her career “in 1997 at Vladivostok Business Center LLC as an assistant manager, then becoming a deputy marketing manager” - note “Telecomblog.”). At that time, we were still working in the NMT-450i standard and there were no more than 100,000 cellular users throughout Primorye. With the launch of the GSM standard, the market began to grow rapidly, and operator companies also grew. I moved to the Primtelephone marketing service, and from there I was invited to the Primorye branch of MegaFon to head the marketing department. Then my responsibilities began to include marketing the entire macro-region “Far East and Eastern Siberia”. In 2005, I was offered to head the commercial service of Far Eastern MegaFon, which includes marketing, sales, and service.

-Are you an ambitious person? Does your career come first? Or did you manage to reach the “golden mean”?

At different stages of life, a career occupies a different place. Naturally, when you graduate from university and start working, your main desire is to realize yourself in a career sense. And when this has already happened and there is a family, you have to set and change priorities. It so happened that my family and career were formed in parallel. Life, like a pendulum, swings us from one extreme point to another, and it is very difficult to stay even close to the golden mean, but when we succeed, it is happiness.

- What is more important for you in work - salary or self-realization?

Probably, it’s still about implementation, but salary is rather a criterion for assessing you as a specialist and professional. Of course, a decent salary is an indicator of your success, but I do not work for money; rather, it determines the degree of my personal freedom. This is important for a woman in business.

Do you use feminine things within your position? Do you have to push for pity and be cunning like a woman?

I used to think that the most important thing was professionalism and there was no place in business for all sorts of feminine things. I once participated in a corporate training on team building and personal growth, and the trainer-consultant told me: “Alexandra, you are a very charming girl, capable of charming and achieving anything from your interlocutor just by moving your eyes. Why don’t you take advantage of this?” It turns out that society perceives this normally... Since then, I have slightly revised my views on the place of women's resources in business. I won’t say that I abuse it, but sometimes I use it. True, you always need to know when to stop. If you go too far even a little, the reaction of your interlocutor, partner or colleague can be unpredictable. And the higher the level, the more careful you need to be with this.

And yet the first impression of you is a small, fragile blonde. Men came up with a lot of jokes about their sweet naivety. In your business communications practice, there have been cases when partners did not take you seriously. Like, what can you get from her... In general, there is an opinion that male colleagues infringe on women in many ways. They don’t forgive her what they would forgive a man. By default they are more lenient...

I’ve been faced with this kind of reaction throughout my life and I’m already calm about it. As a child, I seriously played badminton, and often the boys who came out to the court to play with me did not hide their disdainful attitude towards me, saying that I was a little girl, a little girl. Of course, after the game they lost, the attitude changed, but in adult life the same thing often happens. In order for a woman to achieve the same height as a man in business, she needs to invest two or three times more into it. It is a fact. It happens that they simply don’t hear me, but when a man says it, they perceive it as the truth. Apparently, this is how nature works, and a male leader always inspires more trust than a woman, especially a blonde. But note: the more women there are in business, the more significant their positions, the more the situation changes.

Working in different companies, you had the opportunity to observe and experience different models of communication between top managers and subordinates. And when you yourself are in this position, you probably see the situation differently? Was there an experience in your practice that you decided never to use?

I didn’t have a ready-made ideal leader. I try to implement a collective model. On the one hand, I am closer to a democratic leader, but I understand that this is not always effective and subordinates do not always perceive it correctly. Some elements of rigidity and pressure, which I once experienced myself, are needed. Maybe not in those doses, but I use it.

You are a young woman. Having become a top manager, have you changed your attitude towards clothes, fashion, social life? Can you afford to wear something bold and frivolous to work? What about a corporate party?

On the one hand, I have always stuck to the classics in clothes, so my business wardrobe has changed little. On the other hand, more opportunities have appeared and there is a desire to embody bolder ideas in clothing, accessories and other things. I value comfort and quality in clothes. I believe that you need to look stylish at work. Clothes should suit you: hide flaws and highlight your strengths.

I also like dresses with an open back. I think I look good in them. But I won’t wear a provocative miniskirt to a party. Not my style! And there is another thing that reminds me that I am a woman - a corset. Not often, but when I put it on, I feel how my posture changes, and the reaction of others too.

And yet, a woman in business or not in business must remain a woman. It should inspire and enchant, and by what means - this depends on her mind, ideas, ingenuity and intuition.

An attractive woman is considered to have ideal facial features and a slender figure. This misconception is refuted by many men who pay attention to completely opposite parameters. What influences the attractiveness of girls?

Regardless of the fact that all women are completely different (tall or short, curvy or boyish), men can like them.

Many factors make women attractive:

• external data;
• grooming;
• properly selected clothes and shoes;
• manner of behavior;
• intelligence;
• self confidence.

Let us consider the influence of these parameters in more detail.

Attractive appearance

The first impression is made by a person's appearance. There are ideal external data that attract attention. For example, a flawlessly oval face, large almond-shaped eyes, full lips and a long neck are considered the most attractive. If a woman’s appearance does not correspond to the recognized canons of beauty, we must remember that all flaws are subject to correction. The shape of the face can be changed by choosing the right hairstyle; it is quite easy to give the desired shape to the eyes and lips and visually enlarge them with the help of makeup. Facial features can be easily corrected with foundation, and your neck can be lengthened by choosing the right neckline on your clothes.

The figure and its parameters that attract

At the first meeting, the figure is also assessed. It is believed that men are attracted to women with ample breasts, a thin waist and wide hips.

Considering the various parameters of figures, it is important to emphasize the advantages by choosing the right clothes:

1. Lush breasts can be achieved using special underwear.
2. A narrow waist will be highlighted by fitted skirts and dresses.
3. Clothes that are wider at the bottom or a pencil skirt will help make your hips wider.
4. For slimness and long legs, you should use heels.

Grooming and neatness of an attractive woman

Even a girl who is far from the canons of beauty can look attractive. There is a belief that there are no ugly women. By carefully taking care of yourself, highlighting the positive aspects with the help of cosmetics and emphasizing the advantageous features of your figure (by performing sports exercises), you will become interesting to men.

They do not like unkempt women, and they are frightened by too flashy women. Therefore, when dyeing your hair, pay attention to natural shades, it is better to do makeup in pastel colors, and the manicure should be neat, of medium length and without acidic colors. When you decide to attract the attention of the opposite sex with bright makeup or clothing, try not to cross the fine line of vulgarity.

Men prefer naturalness in a woman. An important parameter of grooming is a healthy smile and a pleasant smell. Therefore, to maintain the beauty and health of your teeth, visit your dentist regularly. It is advisable to use perfumes with a light and unobtrusive aroma, avoiding strong odors.

Fashionable shoes and clothes attract attention

A woman dressed beautifully and fashionably will be noticed by men. You don't have to chase every trend. Do not forget that what is beautiful is not what is fashionable, but what is fashionable is what is beautiful. If the chosen clothes do not suit you, then their price and mention in glamor magazines will not be important. Therefore, when choosing fashionable things, make sure that they emphasize the advantages of your figure and match the color.

Choose non-rough shoes, because the elegance of a woman’s foot has been valued at all times. If men's shoes are in fashion, you should not put them on thin girlish legs. The choice of accessories and jewelry is very important; they can decorate a simple dress or highlight the advantages of one’s appearance.

Behavior: facial expressions, voice, gestures...

Behavioral manners often serve as an attractive factor for men. If you want to attract a guy, use special gestures, looks, poses and facial expressions (each girl has her own arsenal). Men respond to a deep chest voice or laughter because it seems sexy and calm. A high and loud voice evokes associations with a hysterical person. In this case, try to speak and laugh more quietly.

Intelligence can attract and interest

There is a misconception that men love stupid girls. This is not true, they choose women with whom there are topics for conversation. Any man wants to have individuality nearby and be proud of his chosen one, which is why smart women are always popular. By trying to listen to his words and chat less about your own affairs, you will become an indispensable interlocutor for him.

Why does a woman need to attract attention to herself?

Attention is an important component of modern society. Thanks to increased interest, a person feels important, becomes more self-confident and more successful in life. Women are no exception either. Each of them tries to look better and earn the approval of others.

Attention from men

It is natural for female representatives to attract the attention of men. This is required to create a family and increase your own self-esteem. Usually, some of them are surrounded by many fans, while others remain unnoticed. It seems to such girls that there is no chance of a man liking him, but this is not so. There are many ways to be the center of male attention. To attract the interest of others, highlight positive aspects, hide shortcomings, be friendly, calm and smiling. Men don't let such women pass.

Own ego and love of beauty

Women need the interest of others for greater self-confidence. In such cases, you should show your intelligence and individuality. Do not try to underestimate the mental abilities of others for the sake of your own ambition; by doing this you will achieve the absolutely opposite effect.

It is believed that beautiful people are more susceptible to outside interest than inconspicuous people. Therefore, ladies with rich natural qualities or who have achieved attractiveness through careful care can easily win attention from the opposite sex.

Parameters of female attractiveness through the eyes of a man

Attractiveness in the eyes of men has almost the same indicators as in women.

The following parameters are important for them:

1. Youth (18 – 25 years old). When communicating with a woman younger than himself, he feels younger.
2. Beautiful face. Ideal facial features have always been the canon of beauty and remain now.
3. Ideal figure. Ideal parameters are not the main thing. A fit and well-groomed girl is of interest.
4. Height. According to standards, it is believed that a girl should be shorter than a man. There are exceptions when the guy is shorter than the chosen one.
5. Gait. A light gait, accompanied by a slight sway of the hips, looks sexy and attracts the interest of men.

These external data make only the first impression. And in the future, when communicating with a woman, other factors, such as intelligence and personality, influence.

An attractive woman through the eyes of some presidents

To become interesting to men, you should adhere to the above-mentioned tips, work on yourself, and then confidence will appear, the most basic indicator of attractiveness. If a person likes himself, he will inspire sympathy among others.

Many people are surprised by the fact that a beautiful and spectacular woman does not receive the attention that it would seem should be given to her. But a woman of not very attractive or ordinary appearance enjoys great success among the men around her. The secret of such women is the power of their charm. They are plump, short, with non-model features - men really like them, and their seemingly shortcomings suddenly turn into undeniable advantages in the eyes of their stronger half. On the contrary, a woman with a magnificent figure, with classic facial features, but without much charm and charm, repels men with her arrogance and coldness.

It is very difficult to characterize what female charm is, since each person perceives it differently. Most men believe that a charming woman is one who behaves naturally and easily, smiles often and seems very cheerful. In a company with such a lady, men feel relaxed and free, because they do not focus on how to show their best side. With them, you can easily find interesting topics for conversation, and after half an hour of such acquaintance, you get the feeling that you have already known this person all your life, so you want to meet and chat again.

There is an opinion that charm is a certain set of human spiritual qualities, such as tenderness, sensitivity, optimism, friendliness and politeness. Therefore, a charming woman differs from other representatives of the fairer sex in that she is welcoming and friendly with everyone, regardless of their position in society and financial status. There is never a dull moment in her company.

Unfortunately, few women have natural charm, because it is not a person’s mood, but a state of mind. But still, don’t be upset, because you can try to learn charm.

How to increase feminine charm

Work on your appearance. If you want to be a charming woman, then you should look neat and quite fashionable. You should have several clothing options in your wardrobe for different occasions. Visit a stylist and hairdresser, choose a suitable image for yourself.

Men pay a lot of attention gait women. Secrets of seducing a charming woman - shoes should not only be comfortable, but also correctly selected for your feet. Regardless of whether your legs are full or slender, it is important to choose shoes that visually lengthen them. It is also necessary that the gait be as smooth as possible. When walking, it is better for a woman to rest on her toes rather than on her heels. You can achieve this effect with high heels. Once you get used to such shoes, you will eventually begin to feel very confident under the gaze of men.

The position in which a charming woman sits is also of great importance for men. The knees should be connected and the feet should be turned to the side. Of course, you can also cross your legs, which will reveal your knees and feet.

In most cases, women use cosmetics, but many get along just fine without it. It's worth remembering that not only can additional beauty products brighten your face, but the expression itself often speaks volumes. After all, it is your facial expressions that give others an idea of ​​you. It is important to work on yourself in order to please men.

The main decoration of the face is smile, so you should smile as often as possible. Then it will seem to others that you are very kind. People who are not confident in the beauty of their teeth or lips can get by with a half-smile.

Many men like beautiful and long women's hair. If nature has deprived you of gorgeous hair, you can use a hairpiece or wig. A nice headdress will also help in such a situation. And for those who still want to please everyone with their natural hair, it is important to keep it clean.

Learn to communicate correctly with men. Teach yourself in a way that creates genuine interest. People around you should want to know as much as possible about you. Don’t talk incessantly, know how to listen to your interlocutor. Try to show him your beautiful smile more often. Also, a woman, of course, must always remember her sexual education. It is necessary to play the love game correctly, making any man forget about everything around him.

These simple tips will help you increase your feminine charm. Good luck!
Partially used materials from

Girls and women who are not distinguished by outstanding external data, but have charm and attractiveness, very often catch the interested glances of guys. Consequently, the stereotypical opinion that men value only a bright and beautiful image in representatives of the opposite sex is not entirely true.

For the stronger sex, charm and other qualities are much more important than beauty. When communicating with a girl, a man always pays attention to her behavior, temperament, mood, smile and ability to “present” herself. How to understand what charm is, and how to master such a quality in order to become more successful?

Beautiful or charming appearance

Charm is considered a personality quality that serves as a kind of “magnet” for people around you. And most of those who do not have this trait are interested in how to become a charming person capable of attracting attention.

It is worth noting that charm (or charm, attractiveness, charm) is a quality that can be “developed.” That is, those who do not consider themselves charming need only work on themselves and, as a result, become more attractive in the eyes of others. To do this, you just need to find out what factors help develop charisma and how to combine them correctly.

And in order to understand how to develop charm, you need to figure out what we tend to pay attention to first when looking at another person. Undoubtedly, we initially evaluate the appearance (hair, facial features, eyes, smile) of the opponent. But this does not mean that people should dress and look like models from glossy magazines. In fact, assessing another person occurs somewhat differently.

The concept of “beauty” contains several aspects of personality. First of all, it is naturalness, natural attractiveness and prettiness. In addition, the ability to emphasize the advantages of one’s figure and appearance is another important factor on which the degree of charm and charisma of a person (in particular, a woman) depends.

What does science say?

How does psychology explain what attractiveness and charm are? From a scientific point of view, this is a unique personality quality that can be compared to the gift of attracting and winning over others. At the moment, the magnetism of true charm, which has not yet been fully studied, is one of the most mysterious mysteries that each of us strives to solve.

A charming person, who, by the way, may not be the most beautiful and outstanding, has enormous strength and tremendous positive energy, which he pours out on the people around him. And those who find themselves under the flow of this energy will not be able to resist.

What, you ask, is the power of charm? We can safely say that the secret to the success of people with charisma is their ability to effectively use methods of communication with others, win their hearts, gain trust and establish relationships with the outside world.

Anyone who radiates positivity and charm is a pleasure to be around. In the company of such a person, many can feel comfortable, at ease, easy and confident. And in this case, this is entirely the “merit” of a charismatic person, because he will skillfully use all the necessary tools to establish contacts. To win over his opponent, he will show patience, listen carefully and smile warmly and sincerely.

There are many details in her charming appearance that will “bribe” anyone. This will allow a person not only to demonstrate personal superiority, but also to get exactly what he wants. Agree, there are many people around you who are successful by simply being charming.

Let's talk about feminine charm

There are several “criteria” by which men form their impression of the fair half of humanity and can judge how charming a particular girl is:

1. Figure. Whatever one may say, female forms have always been and will be the basis of the external characteristics of women. For most men, a beautiful figure is of no small importance.

And the most attractive and eye-catching, according to men, are ladies with a slender and toned body, thin waist and neat shapes. At the same time, a girl who is too thin or too plump will not look very natural, and therefore she will only be able to attract attention with closer communication with her partner, when the opportunity arises to demonstrate her inner beauty and charm.

2. Growth. Another criterion that is very significant for many people. And this applies not only to cases when a man dates a woman. By nature, a representative of the stronger sex does not like to lift his head to look at someone. Therefore, he is more likely to give preference to a person of the same height as himself, or someone shorter. In particular, this applies to women - a man will be more willing to develop a relationship with a short and fragile girl whom he considers charming.

3. Lips and smile. According to many representatives of the male half of humanity, medium-sized lips and a natural smile, which indicates a good mood and a positive attitude of the opponent, are the most attractive and charming. A smile generally plays an important role in life. Especially if she shines with charm and sincerity, because if a person smiles, it means that he is happy, glad, cheerful and ready to share this with others.

4. Voice. Studying the lips of the interlocutor, men do not miss a moment to evaluate her voice in order to understand how charming the woman is. It very often happens that the beautiful image that is formed in the mind on the basis of visual data collapses at the same moment when the person “in the picture” begins to speak.

This often happens because an unnatural-sounding voice spoils all the delight in beauty and pushes away. It may be a rough, weak or too deep voice. As you can see in practice, men are more impressed by ladies with a soft-sounding, high-pitched and warm voice.

5. Hair is the most important detail on which a woman’s charm directly depends. It's no secret that men like ladies with well-groomed and always long curls. Flowing silky long strands add femininity and sexuality to the girl’s image.

Any representative of the fair sex who wants to know how to become charming can use the information provided. To be attractive and charming, you just need to work a little on yourself.

First of all, you need to learn to believe in yourself. Someone who is confident is not just attractive - they become more friendly, relaxed, approachable and very goal-oriented. And people who were not endowed with charisma and charm at birth, but learned to form and develop these qualities, became more successful in life. Author: Elena Suvorova