If the girl said we are friends. How to understand that for a guy you are just a friend

He is the man of your dreams, you see each other constantly, talk on the phone for hours and text all day. It seems to you that an ideal relationship is just around the corner, but there is not a hint from him. "What's happening?" – you ask yourself. It's simple: you are only a friend for him. PEOPLETALK will tell you how to understand that you are in the friend zone.

Does he complain to you about his life and talk about ex-girlfriends with whom he suffered a lot? No, he is not trying to prepare you for a relationship with himself, he simply perceives you as a friend who will probably have good advice.

There is no need to find excuses. No, it's most likely not that he's just an indecisive person. If in the evenings he discusses a football match with you " Spartacus» – « Dynamo", suggests running into a nearby pub ( it doesn't matter that you drink cherry, it doesn't make you more feminine), then no romance will appear in your relationship.

You agreed to meet, you dream of a date, and he comes to it in the company of his friend. Most likely, this is not an attempt to arrange a “browse”, but just another sign of falling into the friend zone. “My friends should know each other, and even better, if there is good company,” - probably the object of your adoration thinks exactly this way. But this situation is not hopeless, and if this happens to you one day, say directly: “ I wanted to see you and spend the evening alone with you" If you do this carefully and not in the form of a complaint from a girl offended by life, then there is a chance that the guy will look at you with different eyes.

Ignoring is a clear indicator of a frivolous attitude. Yes, he may be busy, but if he is really interested in you, he will definitely make time to call, write SMS or come. Take it as a fact: if a man is in love, then he moves mountains.

If he addresses you only as “dude”, “bro”, “hammer”, pats you on the shoulder, ruffles your hair like an older brother and gives you a scale for your birthday with the words “I think you wanted it” - accept it. Nothing will change. Leave the magical stories of friendship that grows into love for Hollywood rom-coms, but understand: a good friend is also a gift of fate, sometimes even better than a romance.

Here are a few rules for getting out of the friend zone that may work:

1. Create the appearance of competition. Let him try, not you. Let him know that you do not suffer from a lack of male attention.

2. Disappear for a while. Stop writing, calling and answering messages. Let him worry a little and feel that he misses you.

3. Improve yourself. The easiest way to show someone what you've lost is to become the best version of yourself. Believe me, it works!

4. Believe in his success and praise him for every little thing. He tells you: " I signed a contract", and you answer him: " Handsome!"? No " handsome guys"! Only " what a great fellow you are!»

5. Flirt! Don't forget about him! It is most important. Let your chosen one know that you have plans for him.

Friend zone - they don’t come back from there...(With)

They say that there is no friendship between a man and a woman. But then why are many guys in the friend zone and can’t cross the cherished line?

There is no friendship between a man and a woman. All the same, there are elements of flirting and coquetry in communication, thereby simply filling each other with masculine or feminine energy, or one of the two likes the other. But, nevertheless, the matter does not progress further than just friendly communication. Therefore, there is quite a place for the concept that there is some kind of loneliness. You like a girl, but she keeps you on the level of a friend, you are ready to hurt yourself for her sake, but everything is in vain. You're just a friend. And it’s extremely difficult to get out of the category. And why all? We won’t reveal the secret, although perhaps it will be a discovery for some - the girl simply does not perceive you as a man, as a male. You're in the Fredzone, buddy. And what? This is very convenient: there is always a man’s shoulder nearby, always support and protection. How to step over the friend zone line and become more than a friend to her?

We want to warn you right away if something goes wrong, that is, there is a risk of losing your beloved girlfriend forever. Shall we take risks?

So, firstly, in order to attract attention to yourself as a man, you need to be a man for her. That is, behave towards her not only as a friend, but as a man: offer your hand when she stumbles or gets out of the car, open the door for her. In general, change the level of communication with her. At the same time, pay attention to yourself. Change your style towards masculine attractiveness and brutality. Don't just be a dumbass friend. Girls also love with their eyes, by the way. Flirting and coquetry are also appropriate. But in moderation. A sudden change in communication will alert her and push her away from you a little. Start, for starters, just with glances, then with jokes, and then... right up to touches.

The next step is to break your physical barrier. From the beginning you kind of casually touch her, then you play with the curls of her hair, offer her a helping hand so that she doesn’t fall, just take her hand, like children do when you walk with her through the streets, massage her shoulders. The most important thing is to increase the number of touches, especially intentional ones. After some time, this will become the usual norm for her, and even if it’s not enough, she will begin to respond to you with the same actions, and also provoke you to new touches.

By the way, remove vulgarity towards other girls from your communication with her. From this day on, she is not just your friend, but also a woman. So behave accordingly with her. Your joyful cries like “I would have screwed that woman!!!” of course unacceptable. And put off your stories about sex and conquests until the next bachelor party.

The friend zone is fraught with another serious danger: you are a reliable object of consumption for her. You, like Chip or Dale from the Disney cartoon, are always ready to help Gadget. Do you need to be so accessible all the time? You don't like girls who follow you around, do you? Here you go. Why do you think it doesn't work for them? Of course, she must be sure that you are her friend, that she can count on you. But there is no need to be faithful like Hachiko either. You should have your own life, your own personal time, when you cannot spend it on anyone other than yourself or... let's say, to another girl. You are still a man, and you have girls over for the night “just to chat.” So, when the object of your adoration calls you, and you are not alone, you should still stay at home, while deliberately letting him know that you are not alone. Just don't go to extremes. What if she has a real problem, maybe she’s being robbed on the street, it’s better to help. You will earn more bonuses.

Provoke her to jealousy. The most effective method, by the way. Start mentioning other girls in conversations, or better yet, a girl. The one who keeps you in the friend zone will begin to be indignant, although at first she may not show it. How so, because you are only her friend and no one else. Girls do not tolerate competition. They are jealous of their boyfriend, someone else's friend, and that boy. It is so indeed. Start disappearing from her communication for a while, and then suddenly appear, as if nothing had happened, all so happy and satisfied. Also, do not forget to bring girls into your common company, let her see that the round dance that used to dance around her, you are now leading around a new girl. Unpleasant is an understatement.

So, if you follow the steps, then it is quite possible to cross the friend zone and become more than just a friend. Provided that you really need this girl, and not just conquer a new inaccessible peak. In this case, direct all your ardor and temperament to other people.

There is, of course, an extremely simple and risky method: you simply get drunk together and end up in the same bed the next morning, after which you, in principle, decide whether you should try a relationship. Where will she go from the submarine?! He may agree, thereby smoothing out his embarrassment.

And the best thing, instead of beating around the bush, be a man, just put the question bluntly: either you are together, or you separate like ships at sea, because you cannot be a pocket friend who, as soon as a man’s help is needed, is always there. But this option will only work if she is accustomed to your attention and care. She won't want to lose this sensation and sensation, and she may agree.

We studied in the same class. I always liked her appearance. We didn't communicate very much. Then uni, I have a girlfriend, she has a boyfriend. Now I am alone and she is alone. About a year ago we started communicating with her a lot. She told me everything, even the fact that she told no one except her best friend. I liked spending time with her and gradually it turned out that as soon as I was free, I called her, I wanted to see her, I wanted to talk. All thoughts became only about her. I realized that I was in trouble. I always tried to help and support her in everything. If she needs something, I’ll hurt myself, but I’ll try to do it. No one except me (I know this for sure) helped her in life like that (well, except for her ex-boyfriend, of course). Yes, I was really ready to kiss the sand on which she walked. And how did she not notice anything??? Even her friends told her everything: something is wrong here... On New Year’s Day I couldn’t stand it - I told it like it was. Of course, she was practically in shock, but it was clear that she was a little suspicious. And since then it’s been hell! I am simply her best FRIEND. This of course killed me. But nothing. In some strange way, I rose from the dead and started over. Over the past five months, I have already heard refusal more times than probably any other man in the world. But don’t think that I’m somehow underdeveloped. She never told me so clearly, no matter how much I asked her, that nothing could happen between us. And it would really make me feel better... Sometimes I seem to calm myself down, like, okay, nothing will come of it... And bam! She will do something that makes me flutter in clouds of hope (for example, kiss, hint at sex, say something, etc., etc.) And then again it’s like nothing... I very tired of this. I do not know what to do. In theory, you need to leave her behind. I can not. As soon as I gathered my strength, she will throw out one of those things that I indicated above, and here I am again crawling after her. But the worst thing is that I, in principle, realize that we can’t be together. I’m absolutely not the man of her dreams (she’s been buzzing my ears with her ideal), I’m really her best friend, we’re almost always together, she tells me about all her connections (THAT’S TERRIBLY WILD!!! I’m ready to rip my heart out after such stories and gobble it up! WHY IS SHE TALKING ABOUT THIS???), and the strangest thing is that she’s lying to me! Example: I'm calling. - Where are you? - I’m sitting at home, getting ready to sleep. AHA! But I know that at this time she is riding with other friends and drinking beer. WHY IS SHE DOING THIS??? I’m not her boyfriend, I’m JUST A BEST FRIEND, I can’t yell or leave her. FOR WHAT? She herself admits that she is lying to me, but she avoids answering all my questions WHY. In general, I get the feeling that I am being seriously bullied. But for what, FOR WHAT??? Maybe not on purpose? Most likely it is. But how then can we understand the logic of her actions??? What should I think??? What to do next??? Fight or quit??? I'M TIRED AND CONFUSED! You can say it in full. Dear girls, you should understand her train of thought more clearly, please tell me. I'm just in a stupor. Today there was another incident again. Help me, I can't do this anymore.

One of the most typical phrases that may occur repeatedly during your “strong” relationship sounds something like this: “We are just friends!” A conflict is brewing after one of you discovered photographs and correspondence of your significant other with another mysterious person. As part of the eternal demagoguery about the existence of friendship between a man and a woman, TER has identified 7 signs by which you can determine that you are really just friends.

Golden Rule: You are not sexually attracted to each other

And you can’t imagine yourself in the most passionate and ardent entanglements even before going to bed. You have a good time talking and can do without a lot of physical contact between you. Otherwise, is it worth remembering the sweet comedy with Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis and its happy ending?

At parties and get-togethers you do not arrange sexual and “innocent” games

Jokes, have fun, drink, and then snore on the same folding bed, but do not kiss and make out around every corner in honor of your great and strong brotherly relationship. The next morning, not one of you with a clear conscience says that “this doesn’t mean anything, just out of friendship.”

Everyone pays for themselves

No one can cancel those situations when one of you, in terms of your financial situation, found yourself on the same level as a starving child from Africa. Out of friendship, you can feed, drink and lend 23 rubles for travel, but this should not become a habit or obligation. No one is telling you to become a nasty cheapskate, it's just that everyone should look to their budget.

Treat each other's love affairs adequately

This means that you can discuss personal relationships with peace of mind, give advice and understand all this romantic chaos. You are not jealous and do not compare yourself with his/her new passion, saying in your heart that you two “would still be a much more harmonious couple.” And how could one even look at such a frog when there is a beautiful and sexy friend nearby?

Don't try to look like you're on the cover of a fashion magazine

He hadn't shaved for a week and was as overgrown as Bigfoot; she hadn't washed her hair or put on makeup since yesterday. They went out for an evening walk just to talk and spend time together. That's what friends do. And they don’t go to meet each other as if they had just fallen out of a beauty salon conveyor belt, wearing the most magnificent clothes from their wardrobe. You are not ashamed to appear funny, ugly or a little shabby, because in friendship this is not the main thing.

Be ok with your friend's sexuality, whatever it may be.

Your friendship is built on the same strong, sincere and trusting relationships as any other. And not because you are trying to help your friend believe in heterosexual happiness with your help.

Don't try to always seem better than you really are.

You are friends who will communicate despite all the troubles, and not potential partners. Therefore, do not be afraid to express your opinion as it is, and in some places, show your capricious character.

Instructions

Listen to the view from the outside. If you are going on vacation with a group, and your girlfriends ask in hints how your relationship is developing, do not hide behind the words “we are just friends!” It’s better to find out on what basis they made such a conclusion, what actions of your friend or you prompted them to such thoughts. Girlfriends may be more observant than you, they may open your eyes to what you did not notice.

Try to provoke him a little to see if he is attracted to you as a woman. Wear something attractive and flirt with him casually. See how he reacts, how he looks, whether he keeps his gaze on you. Of course, this cannot be an absolute guarantee that he is in love with you, but this cannot be ignored either.

How do you feel about him? Remember if you feel offended if he suddenly doesn’t call for one day; do you get angry if he pays attention to another girl. If you gave yourself a positive answer, then you fell in love with your friend. Friendly relationships imply that your communication takes place at the level of exchange of information and opinions. When the very fact of communication causes a surge of positive emotions in you, this is already falling in love.

Let him know that you appreciate his masculine qualities in him and are proud that you have a man next to you who you can rely on. It is a man, not a friend. He cannot help but react to these words. By his reaction you will understand how he feels about you. If he is not interested in you as a woman, your words will cause confusion. He will understand everything, but will begin to laugh it off and take the conversation in a different direction. If he feels sympathy for you, he will definitely have to take advantage of this moment and confess his feelings. Just first ask yourself whether you need it.

People of the opposite sex often develop warm friendships. In addition, having a guy friend is very convenient for a girl. You can ask him for advice about relationships with boys and ask him to help bring the purchased sofa into the apartment. But sometimes it happens that something else arises in a relationship besides friendly sympathy.

Instructions

To understand who you are to each other, ask the young man directly how he feels about you. The pitfalls of this method are that the guy may lie because he will be afraid that because of his confession he will lose you as a friend. In addition, if your friend is really in love with you and confessed this to you, and you are determined exclusively for friendship, you will no longer be able to return to your previous sincere and trusting relationship.

If it seems to you that your friend has begun to flirt with you in an unfriendly manner, ask how he is doing on the personal front. It is quite possible that he now has a tense relationship with his regular girlfriend, and he simply does not have enough affection, which is why he hugs you when watching a movie together.

You can try to provoke your friend. Flirt with someone you know in front of him, tell a story about being invited on a date and carefully watch the young man’s reaction. If he is still just a friend to you, then he will only be happy and encourage you.

When you're alone, pay attention to your friend's pupils. It is advisable that the environment in which you will be at that time could be called intimate. If his pupils are dilated, it means that he does not have friendly feelings towards you.

Notice how often your friend touches you. If he constantly removes stuck crumbs from your cheek, straightens a strand of hair that has fallen out of your hairstyle, shakes your clothes from non-existent garbage and strives to cuddle up to you in an empty vehicle, supposedly with the intention of protecting you from the crowd - he not only likes you as a friend.

Wait for your friend to make the first move. He is still a man, let him take the initiative. Let him know that he has nothing to fear, that you are not against taking your relationship to the next level. The smart young man won't keep you waiting long.

Want to know if you are an introvert or not? Just answer these 10 questions honestly!

Are you happy to meet new people? An introvert's answer to this question is definitely "no." This does not mean at all that you are afraid to meet new people and make acquaintances, you just don’t have the need for it.

Do you like to participate in discussions? There is an opinion that introverts do not know how to speak in public, but most often this is not the case. On the contrary, they are capable of delivering wonderful monologues. But they are not very fond of dialogues.

Do you have extroverted friends? Surely there is, because it was thanks to their natural desire to communicate that they met you!

Do you like to be around people? Introverts will prefer a quiet evening with a book to a noisy party.

Do you like interviews? It is easier for an introvert to fill out an application form in absentia, for example, for a job, than to go through an interview in person. Again, it’s easier for you to text your friends/acquaintances than to call.

Do you value friendship? It has been proven that introverted people value their friends more and are more honest and loyal comrades. They invest more in building relationships with people and get along with them much longer.

Are you able to enjoy idleness? Extroverts, for example, do not: they, like air, need some kind of activity.

Are you polite and well-mannered? Because you expect tact from other people, you are tactful yourself.

Do you always act according to plan? If extroverts prefer impulsive decisions, then an introvert needs to think through everything carefully and weigh it before doing anything.

Do you feel older than your age? After all, introverts are well-mannered, well-read and have a rational, sober mind.

Sources:

Introvert and extrovert

Sometimes simple sympathy is enough to start a relationship. And if a man has already appeared in your life who has touched your heart, then this, of course, is wonderful - you can hope for new love. There's just a problem: how do you know if he likes you?

Instructions

If there have been no candy-bouquet expressions yet, then you will have to determine feelings by the man’s behavior. He often smiles at you, tries to draw out the conversation, i.e. you are chatting about general, unrelated topics - and on his initiative. It will definitely become noticeable whether he enjoys being in your company. Simple, easy communication, interest in the eyes, attempts to hug or take hands - all this indicates goodwill. In addition, each person has a personal space - that limit beyond which outsiders are not allowed. An attempt to violate this line of permissibility speaks of indifference. A man will not shorten the distance and strive to get closer if he is indifferent to you.

Both male and female representatives want to look good when the object of their affection appears. Therefore, if in your presence a man straightens his tie, belt, hair and generally perks up, he is clearly favorable to you. Opposites usually try to show off in front of each other. Putting all these signs together, you can easily get an answer to the difficult question: “Does he like me?”

Sources:

how to understand whether a man likes you or not

Procreation and creating a family is one of the most important female instincts. By the age of 25-30 it reaches its peak. At this age, most women see every suitor as a potential groom and future husband. Girls who were raised in two-parent families and represent family relationships from the inside often instinctively choose the right candidates, but women who did not know fatherly love in childhood have a much more difficult time. Often they cannot distinguish a good family man from a guy for one evening. How can you determine how serious your partner is?

You will need

Take a close look and listen to it. He will tell you everything you need himself.

Instructions

Pay attention to how the young man describes his future. Does he include you there? Is your partner planning a vacation or weekend outdoors next month? If yes, then this is a sure sign that he wants a stable relationship.

The third sign of serious intentions is the desire to help in various life troubles. If a guy takes responsibility for you, supports you in every possible way, monitors your mood changes and desires, then he really wants to be near you.

note

If a man writes and calls throughout the day, sometimes even for no reason, and actively participates in your life, then he really wants to become a part of it.

It’s good if a guy is interested in whether the time and place of meeting is right for you, and also warns you in advance about dates and weekends together. This means that he takes your opinion into account.

I often want to know age person with whom you communicate in real or virtual life. The reasons may be different, even just because of interest. How can you find out how old your opponent is, at least approximately?

You will need

computer, Internet access, calculator to simplify calculations.

Instructions

Ask your friend how old he is. Of course, if a person doesn’t want to, he may not tell you his age, he may even answer in a rather rude manner. In addition, your friend may not be telling the truth.

Look at the passport of the person you are interested in. By seeing the date of birth, you can easily calculate your age. The year of birth is subtracted from the current year, and if there has not yet been a birthday in a given year, another year is subtracted. Please take into account that your passport may not be shown to you due to the recent increase in cases of fraud.

View messages addressed to this user, published publicly, for example, on a wall. You will be able to see congratulations, for example, on your twenty-fifth birthday. Then you just need to look at the date the inscription appeared and add the time that has passed since that moment. That is, if

The phrase: “Let’s just be friends” is the biggest nightmare for a guy in love. It is perhaps easier to endure a complete break than to constantly be on the bench. What if a girl said that we are friends? Beg on your knees or proudly go home? If you want to return it, you need to proceed as follows.

Disappear from her life for a month

This time is the optimal time to not only change yourself, but also give her the opportunity to miss you. You don't sit idly by, looking at the clock to see when those 43,200 minutes will expire. This time has been given to you to become the exact opposite of the guy she knew.

Get busy

During this time, you will not have time to gain sculpted muscles, but you simply must spend a lot of time in the gym - pump up your arms, finally gain abs. Start eating right Shave regularly, use antiperspirant, a toothbrush and high-quality perfume. Find your style- ask for help from a friend who is popular with girls. You must give the impression of a stylish guy who takes care of himself, so that during a long-awaited meeting you will arouse desire, not pity.

Don't be boring

Far Not every man can attract women's interest. Whether you are Apollo with a magnificent figure and impeccable appearance, if you are not able to carry on a conversation, do not know how to be cheerful and resourceful, the chances of success not only for the girl for whom you are trying, but also for everyone else are very small.

Learn to flirt

Learn to communicate with girls, but not as friends, but as potential sexual partners. The art of flirting may be difficult to master, but the main thing is to practice it regularly. Meet representatives of the fair sex wherever possible. Let only one interest you, so much the better. This will make it easier for you to flirt with others, because the fear of rejection will no longer bother you. This advice is also good because in the process of active communication with the opposite sex you can find someone who will make you forget the bitterness of failure with your previous passion.

So, instead of feeling sorry for yourself and giving up, give yourself a month during which you stop all contact with her and try to completely change. And then, when you see each other again, she will look at you with completely different eyes. It is unlikely that she will have the strength to refuse a relationship with a man who, for her sake, has come such a long way from an insecure guy to a real man. Get closer to her gradually, do not try to drag her into bed on the first date after a break: a slight hint of romance, after a week - a kiss on the cheek, then on the lips... In a month she will already be yours. And if not, Now you definitely won’t vegetate alone.

If a girl says we're friends?

Hello is Lesha Doc.

In this article we will talk about such a question “ What to do if a girl says we are friends»

By the way, I made 3 new products

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I'll answer you personally.

My personal email: [email protected] (everything is free)

Let me tell you right away what this means, it means that the girl does not consider this guy sexually, that is, she does not want him, he is not at all interesting to her as a man. And she says this “ let's remain friends“only out of politeness or because of his own selfish goals, for example, a guy takes her to work and from work to her home...

Now let’s look at the main reasons why this happened, i.e. why this guy is not interesting to her as a man...

Now I will list the skills, which should be developed in you, and below each skill I will write how guys who are not interesting to girls behave:

Ability to make independent decisions

The guy constantly asks the girl questions about what needs to be done and what to do, that is, the girl decides everything for him

Be a leader, not a follower

The girl plays the role of the man, that is, the guy always does what she tells him

Unpredictability

The girl knows in advance what he is doing and will do all his life, she gets bored

Lack of need

A guy always feels bad alone without a girl, and he has no other goal in life, he constantly calls her and writes SMS

Ability to communicate with different people

The guy is boring and has no friends, but he can’t put two words together, the girl has nothing to talk about with him

Self respect

The guy lets the girl wipe her feet on him

Flawless appearance

The guy dresses in elongated, tasteless clothes, which he has been wearing for 10 years without stopping.

I have not listed all the qualities that must be developed by a real man, but if you have them at a completely zero level, then any girl will sooner or later tell you, let's remain friends!

This article is just a small part of what is on my site, there is a lot of useful and practical information on this and other topics that interest you. You can immediately successfully use this information in practice with girls, without wasting your time.

Now I have 2 sites: the site and 4mentv.ru. At the same time, every week I I add new useful articles to these sites, therefore, in order not to miss them, add these sites to your favorites and visit them periodically. Now there are about 450 articles and 70 videos on 2 sites on topics that are interesting to you.

Articles by Lesha Dok (on the website 4mentv.ru)

By the way, I made 3 new products that may be of interest to you

What to do if you don’t have a beautiful girlfriend or the girl left?

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What to do if others show disrespect to you?

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What to do if you don’t have a good job, but you need one now?

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If you have a question for me, then write, I I'll answer you personally. On the topic of girls, I have been giving advice for 9 years, I have a huge experience. (all confidential).

My personal email: [email protected] (everything is free)

What guys say about the articles:

“Lesha, from the moment I started reading your articles, I changed my life a lot. If you apply your advice, then not only your relationships with girls will change, but your whole life in general. Now I live like a MAN, and the girls feel it))”
Egor, Moscow

“Thank you so much, Lesha!!! The tips from your articles are useful, they change your own psychology and attitude towards the world and towards girls. Now everything in my life has changed dramatically. Thankful to you!"
Maxim, Ukraine

“Alexey, thank you so much for what you do. You help people find each other, while breaking all the stereotypes of behavior between guys and girls. After your advice, it becomes easier to communicate with girls and live in general. It turns out that everything is simple!)”
Kostya, Minsk.

We need trust in order to
to manipulate people.

I couldn’t come up with a bright title for this article, I couldn’t come up with some way to get as many girls as possible to read it.

But I still hope that my note will not go unnoticed by all of you. Or at least for most.

Increasingly, letters began to arrive in our mail, the content of which resonates in my soul.

“He kisses me, calls me, gives me flowers. Sometimes we go for walks. But he always insists that we are just friends. What should I do?"

I recently read this interesting phrase:

“A man who is familiar with the rules of good manners conquers immediately. He opened the door for you and let you pass ahead, offered his hand at the exit from public transport, or, ahead of you, gallantly opened the door of his own car for you. Do not rush to exclaim: “There are still more gentlemen in this world!” It is possible that your gallant gentleman uses his tact for manipulative purposes.”

Perhaps your man is just like that? Today I will help answer the question “What to do?” to many girls. I will open the eyes of many to what is happening. However, many of you will not want to hear me and that is bad.

“Baby, I really like you, but I just recently broke up with my girlfriend. I'm in pain. We can only be friends"

"We are just friends" and after that a long passionate kiss.

“For now, I want to develop my career. Sorry"

“My parents want me to study first.”

If you hear something like that from a person you like, then I would quickly run away if I were you.

Why do they do this?

It's simple! Men want free, unburdened relationships. They want you to sleep with them, kiss them and go out with them absolutely whenever it’s convenient for them. No one wants to see you as their girlfriend or introduce you to their close friends. Give you Teddy bears or write tender SMS.

Men of this kind have their own ideas about relationships - we are friends, she does not control me, but we sleep with her. By saying all of the above phrases, a man is giving some kind of warning, “Baby, don’t expect me to be your boyfriend!” If you suddenly suspect him of having a relationship with another woman, going out to clubs or other crap, you will hear in response “Hey, I warned you! We're just friends!"

You will waste time on a person with whom you have no future!

Lately, girls have been writing to us who have... This behavior is common among men and the older they are, the more skillfully they take advantage of the naivety of girls.

He promises to call and does not call, appears unexpectedly with a bouquet of flowers or an apologetic look/phrases, kisses him goodbye and says that he missed you. And then it disappears again. In this way, he ties you to himself, does not let you forget that he is in your life - so sweet, caring and good.

It’s even worse if the man doesn’t even hide his goals. He hugs and kisses you, maybe trying to sleep with you. At the same time, insisting in every possible way that you are close friends. Stay away. For women this is called "dynamo". You will be left with nothing!

Don’t believe a word in a sentence that begins with the phrase “We are friends...”, because this person is a malicious manipulator who, if something happens, can say “I warned you!”, “It’s your own fault!”

“Manipulating a person is a delicate matter. If you spare him, he will follow his whims. Be too strict and he will turn against you."

As you can see, the more gentle and better he behaves with you, the more he attracts you. After all, subconsciously, a person, a person who tells us pleasant phrases, is perceived as something positive in your life. It seems to you that he is not lying, citing business and concerns and disappearing for several days or weeks.

A long time ago I read this thought: “No one can manipulate anyone. Both are aware of what they are doing, even if later one of them complains that he was used,” and I am sure that the person who invented it is absolutely right.

Don't you like his behavior? Do you want more? Then everything is in your hands! You cannot be an obedient puppet in the hands of the player, appearing on stage exactly at the moment when it is convenient for him!

What to do?

First of all, clearly decide for yourself - are you ready to break this knot, even if it would be valuable to break all contacts with this man?
Do you want a full-fledged relationship or are you satisfied with everything?
Talk to him. Tell him to his face that you figured out his strategy a long time ago. That your life does not consist of his comings and goings, and you want a fulfilling relationship. Perhaps not with him.
Ignore his desires to meet, some random meetings at the place of study or work are enough. Avoid love letters or telephone conversations beyond the norm: “Hi, how are you?”
Try to understand that stopping communication with such a guy will save you from a broken heart in the future.

How to recognize?

If he likes you, he will always find time for calls and visits.
If he likes you, he won't tell you that you're just friends. He will immediately begin to do everything to make you understand that you belong only to him.
If he likes you, then he will never remember the pain of other relationships and all that. He may not immediately say that he loves you. He may even tell the truth, “I’m trying to learn to love again, but it’s not working yet,” but then he will never pretend that you are friends, he will never try to sleep with you. He will understand himself.
If he likes you, then you will never want to ask yourself the question “What does this all mean?”, because everything will be clear to you anyway.

To the question “ What does all of this mean?" I always answer the same: “This man doesn’t like you. He doesn’t want to be loving and gentle, he doesn’t want to be around in sorrow and joy. He doesn't care what you ate or how you slept. He is trying to manipulate you. Make you fall in love with yourself. Nothing good will come of this. Better to leave. Cry, lick your wounds and be yourself again. Spend time communicating with interesting people, books and entertainment, searching for true love. Each of us deserves to be loved!”