Why girls do not like and do not appreciate kind guys. Why don't girls like nice guys? Why Good Guys Don't Like

There is such a thing as a “nice guy” - in theory, this is a guy who diligently looks after a girl, buys her gifts, and all this in order to get into her bed, so to speak, in a gentlemanly way. And therefore, if such a relationship still does not go into an erotic phase, a good guy can get angry - because he knows that he deserved sex, and he, like a fiddle, is thrust into some kind of friendship.

And no, to demand what he honestly deserved. A good guy - he's a good one - withdraws into himself, up to his lower lip in his own evil bile. Which, of course, does not lead to anything good. A man starts complaining constantly complaining about his girlfriend to break his masculinity. But this is all nonsense.

Read in 10 minutes.

Why “they don’t give good guys” - and how to make them give?

Nice guys are "unlucky in love" from lack of life experience

So, you want a girl but are too shy to admit it to her? It's not the worst thing that can happen in life. In general, modern entertainment culture is to blame for this - in books and films they constantly sing of romantic half-hearted people who secretly suffer for a beautiful lady. So, in a way, you're doing a great job - you're a true hero of modern culture, but what's the use of this for you and your half-ass?

And although such films usually end in love, weddings and other joys, genre conventions of fiction are one thing, real life is another. And you have to be an idiot to win over a girl the way Hollywood movie characters do.

"Nice guys" girls do not like because they lack perseverance

Girls like to be chased, so a mixture of confidence, assertiveness and (!) sincerity is the best behavior model for a girl to pay attention to you. And no nyash-myash.

Among other things, in the modern world, some half-witted people have such a universal explanation for everything and everything: the reason modern men treat women with respect is that they are feminists. Like the feminists themselves, this behavior is called machismo. Although both sides are wrong. The truth is that we are a developed civilization, and whoever thinks otherwise, just remained a Neanderthal. This applies to feminists too.

The same applies to sex - in the 21st century, everyone should understand that sex is sharing pleasure, and not rewarding one partner with another for something.

So it's not surprising that if some guy tries to play the bad guy, make obscene jokes, feel women's asses, sure that girls love scum, there will be no results. More precisely, the results will be, but only negative. "What's the matter?" - thinks the negligent "badonak". But the fact is that girls love sincere guys, that is, you need to be yourself, and if you are not a bad guy, then don’t fool anyone.

Girls dump the "good guys" when they try to play the "bad guys"

But sometimes things develop worse than stupid tackles (after all, some girl might like them). It's worse if you get a refusal, and then, as they say, you'll end up like shit. Out of resentment, you can start behaving with her like the last rubbish with the last rubbish, and behind her back start spreading all sorts of dirty rumors about her that she is frigid, that she is AIDS and the like abomination.

Well, or some other “wise men” may start to behave in exactly the same way if they themselves blunder in bed. Like, a true man should not stand on such a log. It's called: the best defense is an attack. This means that such a dude is defending himself, which means that it was he who suffered the defeat. That is, he is to blame for all his problems, and he is trying to frame an innocent girl. It's better to be a feminist than a similar "real man".

In general, only losers dwell on their failures.

In that rare case when a woman herself began to spread dirty rumors about you - rather than accept the rules of her stupid game, it is better to defeat her with your wit. And in general - only your calmness will prove to others that the rumors about you are slander, and the girl is a lying fool. This is how victory is achieved in this case, and not by lies, dirt and scandals.

"Nice guys" are not given because they fixate on one person

If you were refused, or if you were abandoned - this is unpleasant, of course, but normal. And a normal man goes through this dozens and hundreds of times in his life. So it’s stupid to break down, turn into a nurse, give up on your life and think that you won’t see happiness in life, since you are not Brad Pitt and your penis is not up to the knee – that’s all, this is the end. Nonsense, of course. It doesn't affect anything at all.

Broke off - looking for a new one. All. An easy scheme. Moreover, you should not become a forest orderly and “pick up from the ground” what others have thrown away. Refusals, even frequent ones, are no reason to decide that your destiny is only shabby fear people. No, keep trying with beautiful normal girls - sooner or later the number of attempts will turn into quality. Just analyze your mistakes and get rid of them - and be patient. Well, or go through the RMES training and skip this stage quickly and clearly.

Girls don't like 'nice guys' because they suck at action

Another great reason to complain about a girl, call her a whore and so on - if everything seems to be starting so well for you, when suddenly she is already in bed with another. Slut here, you see, such. And you are, of course, wrong.

Than dancing around her, walking like a rooster - you take and invite her on a date, you take her on a date and invite her to you. Refused? OK. Understand why, correct events - and try again. No way? OK, leave her, that's not your option. Instead, you spend a lot of yours and a lot of her time on her, for which you just annoy her, and then she meets a simple and persistent guy without women's cockroaches and starts to stir up with him. Everything is logical.

While you were trying to describe and show her how cool you are, someone else came up and invited her to experience herself. That's how it should be done.

Why would a girl need to know your strengths and weaknesses when you haven't started a relationship yet? Rather than walk with her hundreds of times, telling about yourself everything that you are, always immediately take the bull by the horns, and then come what may. Let him recognize you, already lying in an embrace in bed.

And now she sleeps with one, and she will walk with you in order to communicate with such an interesting and holistic you. Welcome to the friendzone.

How to stop being “the good one who is not given”?

In summary, men are divided into:

those who constantly complain about their failures and do nothing,
and those who calmly continue to try until they achieve victory.

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You can often hear questions from the male half: why do girls avoid good guys, for what reason do they not like them? After all, indeed, such a situation often occurs when a sympathetic young man is ready to break into a cake for the sake of a girl, showers her with gifts, writes poetry, indulges any desires, agrees in everything and is ready to do everything to please her. But the object of his sighs at the same time either quickly abandons him, or completely ignores him. What is the reason for this behavior of the majority of the fair sex, and why they avoid relationships with such gentlemen, let's try to figure it out.

unpredictability

This is perhaps one of the most common versions, which they try to explain why girls ignore and do not like this type of guy. According to this theory, the main problem lies in the lack of unpredictability in good young people. Such representatives of the male half of the population always act according to common sense, they are thrifty, correct, their actions are deliberate, and their behavior does not carry intrigue. In contrast, they are "bad guys" who live in one moment: impulsive, not constrained by the rules and public opinion. They are capable of rash acts, and if this is done for the sake of a girl, this cannot but arouse interest.

Under this theory there is a certain ground. Relationships of young people constantly need to be fueled by surprises, romantic impulses and other surprises. This maintains the proper level of interest and passion. Without them, new relationships exhaust themselves quickly enough. However, it should be understood that over time this fades into the background, and confidence in your life partner becomes much more important. Romantic impulses are still relevant, but the reliability of a partner, his ability to be a support in every sense, to take responsibility become more priority. And here the “bad guys” are already hopelessly losing their positions. Their fuse is enough for a short time, but they are completely unsuitable for a serious relationship, and the girls quickly understand this.

Therefore, we can say with confidence that it is not a matter of dividing into “good” and “bad”. The problem lies in "boring" and "interesting". Therefore, the chances of falling into the category of those who are able to please a girl are equal for both good men and moral outsiders.

Why Girls Don't Like Kind Guys: An Expert Opinion

The main problem of why this question “Why do girls ignore or do not like good guys?” Many people still cannot find an answer lies in the most erroneous wording of the question. The concepts of “kind” or “good” in variations of the phrase “sorry, you are too good for me” are used by the fair sex solely out of delicacy or inability to adequately explain their own thoughts and feelings. Basically, behind these terms lies the banal "softness" and "spinelessness":

These traits repel the girl. Next to him, the fair sex wants to see not spineless and lack of initiative guys, the source of kindness of which is the inability to say “no”. A woman needs a strong man who can be a support for her, defend her interests, next to whom she can relax and feel protected.
Girls don't like to be tied up with a mannequin that just fulfills their desires. The fair sex wants a living person nearby with their own principles, desires, aspirations, who will sometimes argue, defending their own point of view. A man without a personality is simply not able to interest.
The kindness of spineless guys is often illusory, it is only a consequence of the inability to refuse someone who asks for something, even if this would entail unpleasant consequences for him. "Bad guys" are for the most part selfish, used to standing their ground, defending the interests of their girlfriend before strangers. Therefore, they seem to be safer and more reliable, but this is only at first glance.

But this is not the rule. A psychologically strong person can also be kind, and this is the combination girls love the most. Another thing is that among guys this is a rarity.

As the verse attributed to Sergei Yesenin says: "Always and at all times, good, kind girls went crazy from hooligans." Why don't young ladies choose loyal, honest and kind guys, ready to do anything for them? Why are they drawn to aggressive, vulgar, even rude men who cause them so much pain? Stereotype or sad statement of fact? Let's try to figure it out.

The "wrong" boys say the right things

Very often, good guys are very shy. They prefer to watch the object of their sigh from the shadows, hoping that sooner or later his devotion will be appreciated. There are two options here:

or he will go unnoticed by the girl
or she will become friends with him

Once in the "friend zone", it is very difficult or even almost impossible to get out of it. Therefore, even if three years later a friend confesses his feelings to a girl (which she may have suspected for a long time), it is unlikely that he will be reciprocated.

Young ladies love confident people, especially if they themselves are shy. After all, she herself will not be able to take the first step, invite her on a date or confess her feelings, so she needs someone who is ready to take serious actions for her. And those who wait on the sidelines, very often in this sideways and find themselves until the end of days.

You need to look after a girl, give gifts, surprise and charm her, which means that any guy just needs to gain confidence and pressure, and not be afraid to even approach his beloved, and then condemn that you were not noticed.

And one more very important thing - compliments. Girls really love with their ears. She needs to hear how luxurious she looks, how this dress suits her and what a delightful smile she has. It needs to be mixed, and for this you need to have a sense of humor. Young ladies don't really like boring guys. Therefore, if a young man cannot even raise his eyes to her, she, of course, will not be fascinated by him, but by that self-confident guy who was not afraid to say that he likes her.

love for drama

In childhood, girls were brought up on fairy tales, and each dreamed of a prince on a white horse and of her own "they lived happily ever after." Times are changing, girls are growing up and now they are more attracted to tearful melodramas, over which you can cry a lot. The essence of such films and books is that a beautiful love story rarely ends with a happy ending, but it remains in the heart forever. Therefore, girls go towards passion, hoping to know a great feeling.

Unfortunately, films do not always mention bad companies, beatings of women and children, unrestrained drunkenness of husbands, their infidelities and other things that real women face. Passion is not durable, it quickly fades away and there remains an understanding that there are no common interests with this person, there is nothing to talk about and he brings nothing but constant problems and headaches.

It's good if the girl comes to this understanding herself, before she is taken advantage of and abandoned. Even worse, if the couple is already married and has children, then they will have to put up with all his habits. Some get so used to being treated badly that they even make excuses for their husbands.

Also, many have a dream: to fix the womanizer. And again, beautiful stories from films and books are to blame for everything, in which a man leads a wild life until he finds "the one."

There is a certain type of people: they are bright, cheerful, they constantly need the intensity of passions and feelings in order to survive. Such people light up very quickly, but also quickly go out. Yes, a womanizer man can fall in love with unconsciousness and be ready for anything for her, but who said that he will always be faithful to her? In a couple of weeks / months / years, he will get tired of the routine and will simply get bored, and the girl will be left with a broken heart.

Isn't it a stereotype?

It is very difficult to divide the entire male population of the world into two categories: good and bad. All people are different. Those who seem bad turn out to be good, in turn, the good ones behind their mask can hide not the most pleasant character traits. Each has both disadvantages and advantages. And the older a girl gets, the more you want a relationship with a good, caring guy, and not with a riotous and windy one that you can’t rely on.

Almost anyone will appreciate a kind guy, gentle and attentive, with whom she feels protected. If a young man asks the question "why do girls not like me, because I have so many positive qualities", then maybe he perceives himself wrong? Being modest and quiet, without bad habits, trouble-free, not getting out of the house and studying well does not mean being kind at all. But, of course, it's easier to blame the girls or the so-called "bad guys" than to change something in yourself.

For those who are ready to change, it is worth clarifying one simple thing: girls are the same people. You can talk to them no worse than with men, you can and should joke, they should not be afraid. Until the young man realizes that his chosen one will not come running to him herself, and will not begin to act, there will be no results. Yes, there is always a chance of being rejected. But there are a lot of people in the world who have been rejected, and they continue to live and find new hobbies that are already mutual.

Look for common topics for conversation, do not stand aside, make her laugh, show care and attention, delight her with small gifts, say compliments and nice words, and, most importantly, do not be afraid to confess your feelings, because, perhaps, she has been waiting for your recognition for a long time .

Here are 6 reasons why honest women are not suitable for most men:

5. She speaks when she sees that something is wrong. She is incapable of biting her tongue when the situation calls for it. She is not known for sweeping under the carpet. She is self-aware and admits her flaws. Even though she points out the faults of others, she also points out her faults. She is honest enough to admit her shortcomings, and she is also willing to make amends for her shortcomings.

6. She's too real for most men. Most men tend to idealize their women. They try to see in their minds the best versions of their girlfriends, and then they tend to become disillusioned with the realities of their situation.

Source

womenmir.ru

Why girls do not like good guys, but choose bad guys: the psychology of relationships

Psychology of love

Many young girls do not like good guys, they prefer those who are not distinguished by responsibility, have a lot of bad habits and even sometimes treat women rudely. It happens that a girl's taste does not change even at a more mature age. In this case, she finds herself in a difficult situation and loses the opportunity to start a family and find the happiness of motherhood. This choice can be both conscious and intuitive. Often, women take the kindness and decency of a guy for weakness, which is a delusion.

Why do girls often choose the wrong guys?

Often girls do not pay attention to kind and nice young people. If such a guy gives flowers almost every day, helps in business, writes poetry, always fulfills the girl’s wishes, she will most likely agree to go on a date with him, but will not enter into a relationship. The kindness of a man is most often associated in girls with weakness, stupidity and indecision.

Young girls often pay attention not to an ordinary guy, but to someone who constantly stands out from the gray mass. Hooligans, violators, those who go against the system easily conquer women's hearts.

Why men love bitches: the psychology of relationships

The Secrets of Attractive Bad Boys

A bad guy is usually called a young man with a punchy character. It's usually hard to get along with him. Getting along with him is also not easy, as he does not compromise. Bad guys like to take risks, so they often get in trouble with the law. They abuse alcohol, smoke and sometimes even take drugs.

It seems to such a representative of the stronger sex that he is able to raise a hand against a woman if she is wrong about something or did not behave the way he wanted. This young man belongs to the group of leaders. He will not fulfill the promise he made to the girl. Often in their life there are several girlfriends. Change is normal for them.

The bad guy can cheat, and he tends to have two personalities. In school years, such people most often take a weak part in the educational process. At an older age, they do not have a stable salary, therefore they cannot provide a decent life for their wife and children.

The girl does not understand the actions of an unpredictable man, so interest awakens in her. She thinks there are a lot of poignant moments in his life and that makes him a hero. At the same time, she considers herself the one who can correct him and show how to live correctly. She lives in the hope that such a guy will change thanks to her, he will become better.

One of the reasons why girls do not want to choose kind men is the addiction to reading women's novels and watching romantic films. Traditionally, they have the following plot: a bad guy makes the main character suffer from infidelity, but he remains loved. The heroine sincerely loves him, but parting at the end is inevitable, although pleasant memories remain in her memory that cause sadness.

After watching a movie and reading a book with such a plot, the girls begin to search for a similar scenario in life. Good men do not fit into such a framework. A lady just needs a guy to break her heart. It will be better if the girl finds the strength in herself and ends the unpromising relationship. After all, the consequences may not be the same as in movies or books.

Why do women love young boys and men love older girls?

Why good young people are unlucky in relationships

Kind guys cannot surprise with an unexpected act that would allow a girl to look at him from a new perspective. They can be described as follows:

Always do the right thing.
Before doing something, think a lot.
Gently and carefully treat the beloved woman.
They do not create intrigue, they are easily predictable.
They do not always achieve promotion at work and do not have a high salary.
They depend on the opinion of the mother or sister, who will be dominant in the relationship.

The girl ceases to be interested in such a young man, since there is nothing exciting in a relationship, and nothing excites her soul. He did not kiss her in front of people, did not go up to her room through the window, did not show his feelings in front of his parents.

In order for the relationship of two people to be interesting, they must always be filled with new impressions, emotions, romance. Otherwise, relationships become boring, they bring disagreements and quarrels. It is for this reason that girls do not pay attention to good guys.

The honesty and predictability of a guy is a huge plus - if he wants, he will make a romantic unpredictable surprise, surprise the girl if he values \u200b\u200bher. A few years later, the main criterion for a good relationship is the reliability and predictability of a partner, which is not typical for bad guys. It is impossible to re-educate them, behaviors remain for life.

Usually, a good guy doesn’t even manage to reach the stage of a date, since shyness decides everything: he is not able to approach the girl, give her a compliment, look once again in her direction. At the same time, the bad guy takes the initiative and leaves no chance for the opponent.

Every girl likes confident guys. A young man who cannot express his point of view cannot become the girl's protector, and subconsciously she feels this.

Ladies love compliments, passion, initiative, which a good guy cannot give. Perhaps he will say nice things and look in her direction, but he will not approach the girl and kiss. A good guy will not do this because of the fear of offending the lady and his natural modesty.

Why do young girls want older men, what attracts them?

What psychologists say

Psychologists name the reasons why girls do not like kind guys:

Such character traits as softness, shyness, do not attract ladies. Every woman wants to see a strong, self-confident man near her who will not let her be offended. She is looking for a support, a “wall”, behind which she will be calm and safe.
A woman does not want to be the main one in a couple. Perhaps at first she will be delighted with her role as a leader, but when the relationship moves to the next stage, it will be annoying. After all, it is the man who is obliged to become the head of the family in the future, to be responsible for the decisions made.
Good guys are not able to win the chosen one. They try to adhere to strict moral and ethical rules. If the girl you like meets another, then such a guy will simply go aside and give up his dream.

It is much easier to make a mistake by choosing a bad guy, and after the end of the relationship, to conclude that all men are the same and do not deserve the attention of a woman. It is more difficult to try to get to know a good guy better, to see all his positive aspects.

feelcontrol.net

Why men don't like good women

Here are 6 Reasons Why Honest Women Are Not Suitable for Most Men

1. She's not afraid to tell the truth, and the truth hurts. Many people will always try to evade the truth when it is inconvenient for them. Instead of facing the truth, they will deviate and avoid it at all costs. However, there is no escaping the truth when it comes to dating an honest woman. A man is forced to face difficult circumstances, and sometimes it can be too much for him.

2. She is not looking for short-term throws or games. An honest woman doesn't want to play. She knows what she wants from love and life. She doesn't want any pointless games with a guy. She needs a stable and long-term relationship that serves as the basis for her future.

3. She asks questions that are difficult to answer. Yes, sure. An honest woman always demands honesty from those around her. Honest answers are always difficult to give. Her questions may be too real or too heavy for most men to handle. So they avoid the problem. Only the strongest and bravest can keep up with her honesty.

4. She is very determined about her desires and expectations from this relationship. She knows what she wants and she's honest. She has her own expectations of men, and many men will shy away from problems out of fear of not living up to expectations.

5. She speaks when she sees that something is wrong. She is incapable of biting her tongue when the situation calls for it. She is not known for sweeping under carpets. She is self-aware and admits her shortcomings. Even though she points out the faults of others, she also points out her faults. She is honest enough to admit her shortcomings, and she is also willing to make amends for her shortcomings.

6. She's too real for most men. Most men tend to idealize their women. They try to see in their minds the best options for their girlfriends, and then they tend to become disillusioned with the realities of their position.

Why Women Don't Like Good Husbands

It's a weird feeling not wanting a nice guy. Well, you really don't want to.

"He's good-oh-oh!" - say girlfriends. And you agree with them.

Good-o-oh. And he helps, and calls in the morning and evening, and buys groceries if you ask. And when you're in a bad mood, he listens. Even with the first snow congratulations.

Good. At work, the bosses listen or subordinates always let go early and cover in case of emergency. He puts the plate behind him in the sink. She doesn't look at other aunts in front of you. He is not rude, he is not rude, he does not bang on the table with his fist. And so delicate - he will never slap on the ass, he will not send an obscene text message. "You're strange, what else do you want? He's so good!" Well, what's strange? After all, it is necessary that he be alive, and not

good-o-oh! Real, with feelings, emotions, desires. To bark if they are rude, to laugh loudly when it's funny, to grab it in a fit of passion without ceremony. So that there is not always this feeling that he is so good "through I don’t want to"!

Millions of books have already been written about giving women scoundrels. Why are they to us, these scoundrels? With bastards, maybe it's fun at the age of 17, when you want to be a tragic actress. And, frankly, they are not suitable for life at all. Women need the right emotions from a man (except for a fur coat and diamonds). And the right kind of aggression. Male, real. Is a bully coming? A loved one is required to protect, to rush into battle. But here's the bad luck - a good boy from childhood was taught not to fight. After all, fighting is bad. So he gets scared, apologizes, runs away ...

Or is sex - what do you think, is not aggression? Quiet song? No, it's passion. A good boy cannot be a tiger. He is a hamster. And he considers passion indecent, he tries not to use the word "sex", he says "let's make love", even if it has nothing to do with love. A good boy is sure that role-playing games are for perverts, and a vibrator is just to stretch your neck after work. A good boy has learned that pulling girls' pigtails is wrong. And, in order to be good, he will wait until the woman herself calls him on a date, she herself offers to come in for coffee, herself-herself-herself ... And the woman really wants the man to take a step, decide, choose, achieve ...

Mom needs an "excellent student"

The "good" ones are not to blame. They didn't become "good" themselves. They've been spoiled. My friend Zhenya was raised by her mother. Zhenya has never fought in his life. Thank God, he is a big guy, so he just showed his fist to his classmates, and the fighters did not climb. At school, Zhenya obeyed the teachers and followed the rules in order to be good - he didn’t run at breaks, he didn’t be rude and didn’t play truant. In the yard, Zhenya was offended by nasty little hooligans who spat through a broken front tooth and cursed. Zhenya did not swear and did not fight back, he bypassed them and "did not get involved," as his mother taught.

When he became the boss, Zhenya tried to please everyone - he treated petty theft among employees, their absenteeism, "with understanding". From trips, he brought the most expensive gifts to the big boss, but he could not bring anything to his wife, she already considered him good. Yes, Zhenya had a wife. She married him herself, because on the first date he said: "Don't think, I'm not having fun, I'm serious about you" (because good boys don't have fun, they get married). Then, however, she herself left him for a hippie photographer. And Zhenya, like a good boy, helped her to transport things and was glad in his heart that it was not he who kicked her out, but she herself left (after all, good wives do not kick out, even if they really want to). Zhenya did not understand what he was doing wrong. He bought everything according to the list, sent him on vacation wherever his wife wanted, he was always polite, never raised his voice ... He expected to be praised, but he was abandoned. And the wife very simply explained her departure to her friends: “He seemed to live according to a textbook, he performed all the exercises necessary for happiness, but I wanted sincerity ...”

What's wrong with being "good"

A good boy easily falls under someone's influence. It is difficult for him to demand or refuse, so clever friends, colleagues and women quickly sit on his neck.
It is difficult for him to defend his opinion. If his parents do not like his bride, he would rather leave the bride than fight with mom and dad.
A good boy does not help, but creates the appearance of help. If the wife gets tired of housework, he will defiantly wash the dishes a couple of times so that he cannot be reproached. A mature man will hire his wife a housekeeper.
A good boy tries not to make decisions. So that later I can say with a clear conscience: you said an air grill, I bought an air grill. It was you who wanted to go to Egypt in the winter, so now we will get wet in the rain.
A good boy will not rush to protect someone on the street, he will rather step aside. If the waiter is rude to you, he will not stand up for you, but will try to "hush up" the misunderstanding, otherwise he will take the side of the waiter.
At the beginning of a relationship, a good boy will call in the morning and evening to see how things are going and to say good night. He will come with flowers on the first date and will wait for the initiative in everything from the woman - the first kiss, sex. In sex, too, the lady will have to "steer". A good boy thinks it's indecent to show his violent desire.
A good boy in a relationship with a woman will portray understanding and forgiveness in all situations. Perhaps in his heart he will dream that the sweetheart stumbled on a high cliff.

COMMENTARY PSYCHOLOGIST

Two big differences

A good boy and a good (mature) man are two different types, - explains psychologist, candidate of sociological sciences Anetta Orlova. - A good boy does a lot, not because he wants to or he decides so, but because it seems to be right, he does everything to APPEAR good so that he is not scolded. Sometimes he even sacrifices his own interests, the interests of his family, just so as not to swear with anyone. And this "goodness" of his does not mean that he is a noble person, a faithful friend and a loving husband. After all, it is not clear what he really is.

But a good man is a mature person who makes decisions, is responsible for himself and his loved ones, performs actions based on his own interests, not being afraid to seem "bad" or quarrel with someone. Most women have a hard time with good boys, because there is not enough masculinity in life and in sex. With a good boy, there is no feeling that you can lean on him and be a weak woman.

Why do boys grow up like this? Because in childhood they try to obey their mother, teacher and drown out everything masculine in themselves. Aggression, assertiveness, determination. From childhood, in a boy, all these qualities are hammered with rules like "do not fight." How can one not fight if a boy becomes a man through fighting with other men, through victories, through risk! A man is not afraid of conflicts, he is not afraid to experience real feelings. And a woman always likes the real one more. That's the nature of it.

INSTEAD OF EPILOGUE

Imagine what the men are saying now. They don't even talk, they just hiss, I guess. What else do these women want?! - the descendants of Adam are rightly perplexed. You don't call, you yell, you don't help - you scoundrel, went to the exit, not good for life. You call, you speak politely, you wear food on Sundays - they call you "good" and spit. How to please them?

Oh, dear, if we knew how to please us, we would have written instructions long ago. But we are capricious organisms, unclear to ourselves, and what we need, and then what will be needed in five minutes, have not yet decided. But I can say for sure - we don’t need falsehood, we don’t need anything fake. With our powerful intuition, we see and hear all this, and immediately it becomes so sad, and immediately cease to feel loved!

You just be normal, be real, and in love - everything is only by experience and experimentation. Good boys are not allowed to experiment, but here is your chance!

kp.ua

unpredictability

Why Girls Don't Like Kind Guys: An Expert Opinion

These traits repel the girl. Next to him, the fair sex wants to see not spineless and lack of initiative guys, the source of kindness of which is the inability to say “no”. A woman needs a strong man who can be a support for her, defend her interests, next to whom she can relax and feel protected.
Girls don't like to be tied up with a mannequin that just fulfills their desires. The fair sex wants a living person nearby with their own principles, desires, aspirations, who will sometimes argue, defending their own point of view. A man without a personality is simply not able to interest.
The kindness of spineless guys is often illusory, it is only a consequence of the inability to refuse someone who asks for something, even if this would entail unpleasant consequences for him. "Bad guys" are for the most part selfish, used to standing their ground, defending the interests of their girlfriend before strangers. Therefore, they seem to be safer and more reliable, but this is only at first glance.

But this is not the rule. A psychologically strong person can also be kind, and this is the combination girls love the most. Another thing is that among guys this is a rarity.

See also: What are the statistics of girls attract guys

There are some tips for young people who have a girlfriend and want to please her. Recommendations are not easy and require long-term and constant work on oneself. However, the result will be much more useful for themselves than for their chosen one. Here's what to consider:

Before you start any relationship at all, you should work on yourself. Understand your own interests, desires, acquire a hobby. All this will make the personality holistic and interesting. A person who is not interested in anything is not able to interest others. First of all, they love the self-sufficient;
it is important for guys to learn to defend their own interests, to be able to disagree if there is an internal conflict. Having managed to do this for yourself, it will not be difficult to apply this method to the chosen one, and for her this is very important;
learn to count your own strength. You cannot make promises that you cannot fulfill and fulfill those that you have already made;
contrary to the belief of the majority, not all girls are interested in the financial condition of the guys. However, representatives of the strong half of humanity are just obliged to understand that they must be able to provide for their chosen ones;
we must not forget about spontaneous romantic impulses. Small feats of chivalry keep passion in relationships and keep them from exhausting themselves;
there are girls who for some reason really sincerely consider themselves unworthy of good guys. And if a young man happened to fall in love with this, you will have to make an effort to raise her self-esteem and convince her otherwise.

We hope that the stereotype has been dispelled, and now no one will argue that the weaker sex does not like good guys. Such a statement has no real basis. If a guy for some reason believes that the representatives of the fair half do not like him, then it is simply necessary to work on himself.

korolcat.ru

Why Men Don't Like "Nice Girls"

Don't let your feet be wiped on you, hold on like a star if you want to get the perfect man - and it doesn't matter what they write about it in the gloss!

Being bad is good, being good is bad! Do you agree with Sherry Argov?

“A man dreams of a strong, confident woman. For him, there is nothing more attractive than a woman who has dignity and pride. He marries someone who will never succumb to him,” says Sherry Argov, bestselling author of I Want to Be a Bitch, in her new book A Woman's Guide To Getting And Keeping Her Man's Heart and dispels the main myths about good girls on the pages of the Daily Mail. “I interviewed hundreds of men - and they all say that they need a strong, self-sufficient woman who will not encroach on a man’s personal space, because she values \u200b\u200bits,” she continues. - At the slightest hint of disrespect, she will not be silent and will immediately express everything she thinks. It makes it more interesting as well." Men complain that such women are unusually rare. Should we be surprised? Pick up any fashionable glossy magazine and scan the headlines. Readers are taught to act like they are servants: "Here's a recipe to melt his heart," "Ten ways to beat him in the bedroom," and so on. When women follow these tips, it's like they're screaming "Choose me! Choose me!", but this cry instantly turns off male desires. "Good girls" always push their needs to the background and suffer from it.

The myth of "good girls" #1. You must be flawless

Think about the last time you were madly in love. Most likely, this guy was not a millionaire and not a neurosurgeon, but something must have drawn you to him like a magnet. Men need the same magic. Women think that if they are perfect, rich and beautiful, they will be respected and loved. But a man does not marry Perfection, he will choose a woman who is interesting to him.

When a man meets a woman who seems to him too correct, too sweet or too pleasant, he very quickly loses interest and begins to get bored. Almost all the men I spoke with said that they do not pay attention to the shortcomings of a woman until she herself talks about them. “Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief in her beauty,” said Sophia Loren and was right.

Myth #2. You must be his sex toy.

We are constantly told that sex will win a man's heart. This is not true. Just because a man sleeps with you doesn't mean he cares about you. Good sex also does not guarantee that a man will be with you forever. If a person puts you in the “For Sex” category, they are unlikely to see anything else in you.

35 percent of men said they preferred the so-called "bad girls".

Men meet women by their clothes. Yes, they will turn their heads when looking after one that shows more body than clothes, but they are unlikely to be ready for a long-term relationship with such a person.

If you're wearing an under-buttoned blouse or a long skirt with a slit, a man thinks, "You'll have to work hard to get it," and then your stock starts to rise. And vice versa - if he sees you scantily dressed, then the thought of men who have already been in your bed will surely come to his mind. Be careful, you're on shaky ground here. This is a painful area for male pride. Some men even admitted that they have a magic number in their heads. When they ask how many partners you had, the fingers of one hand should be enough to count them. Everything else is too much.

Myth #3: You have to adapt to it.

A nice girl meets a guy and does everything to make an idol out of him. For example, answering his question "What do you like or what would you like", shrugs and says "I agree to everything." When a man loves you, he is actually interested in what you like and what you want. If he makes you happy, then he feels more secure. Men are made to impress women. The Taj Mahal would have been built for a woman!

What do men really want?

1Don't be too nice and don't always agree: a man rarely takes such a sugary demeanor as a compliment to himself. He assumes that you would agree with anyone.
2Be yourself: tell the man what you like to do and what you would like to eat. He will trust you more if he sees that you are saying what is on your mind.
3 In no case do not show your desire to "clamp" a man. As soon as he realizes that you are not too interested in marriage, he himself will begin to take the initiative.
4Don't jump into bed! Weed out applicants by assessing their willingness to wait with sex. Nothing is as highly valued as the things one has to wait for.
5 Don't pressure him. When you start asking questions like “Where am I in your life?”, “Is there a future in our relationship,” or “Do you want children?”, the man feels trapped and immediately begins to develop an escape plan.
6Make him haunt you: all you have to do is be feminine, charming and nice. Don't use the word "commitment". The less you talk about it, the closer you are to reaching your goal.
7Keep your distance! A man should not have the feeling that you are too available and you can be contacted at any time. Each of your phone calls should be an exciting, exciting event for him.
8 Show that you have other options: when a man thinks that you can fly away at any moment, he begins to value your relationship more.
9Do not download money from it. Men like women who are able to provide for themselves. It is unlikely that they will look into your wallet to count the cash in it, but a pleasant impression of your financial independence will certainly remain.
10Show your gratitude if he gave you something: a person feels the need for gratitude. Say "thank you" not for the thing, but for the kindness behind this gesture. So the man will feel that you value him, and not material goods.
11Take time out if necessary. You set deadlines and limits yourself, leave if you feel it's time.
12Love life as it is: enjoy every day. Be positive. There is nothing more attractive for men!

www.woman.ru

Why women don't like each other

"It's not easy for someone as beautiful as me - other women hate us just because we look great." This is the main idea of the article "Why do women hate me because I'm beautiful" by Samantha Brick, published in the British newspaper Daily Mail. The journalist, who wrote an article about how beautiful she is, was threatened and insulted on Twitter, Facebook and by email. There were sympathizers, but few. I read the article, trying to sort out my feelings. I felt sorry for Samantha. She is terrorized by her boss just because she is ten years younger and knows how to dress. Not one, even the best, friend called her to be a bridesmaid. She is rarely invited to visit - wives are afraid for the reliability of their husbands. On the other hand, it bugs me when Brick writes: “I'm not Elle MacPherson. I'm a tall, slender blonde and everyone tells me I'm pretty." Offended readers wrote: “They hate you not for beauty, but because you are an arrogant egoist who imagines God knows what about herself.”

I have read the article. The way its author looks has nothing to do with the case, because ... there is no arguing about tastes. But neither I myself nor my friends have ever said to themselves: "I am a very beautiful girl." Thought so? Yes. But women don't say that out loud.

We have perfectly learned to sublimate our emotions in relation to other women. We never admit to ourselves that we are annoyed by the perfection of another girl. But we are enraged by its universal human shortcomings. For example, I am disgusted with loafers who sit on the neck of their dads, husbands, lovers. The same degree of dislike falls on girls who revel in their beauty - the female version of daffodils is simply terrible! I don’t like fools either, Faina Ranevskaya said about them: “All my life I have been terribly afraid of stupid ones. Especially grandma. You never know how to talk to them without going down to their level.” It is impossible to be too correct, with the syndrome of an excellent student, and faceless, and irresponsible, and those who speak only about themselves, and those who judge people, girlfriends and anyone else only by status. But to say that I don't like women?! How could you think that of me!

Where did the scary stories about female envy come from then, about the rivalry that is in our blood, and where did the conversations like: “The best friend is a terrible friend. And if you don’t have a scary girlfriend, think - maybe you yourself are a scary friend? Why do we dress not for men, but for women? Why is being in the company of dazzling beauties a guarantee of a disgusting mood and a spoiled evening? Why do we get so jarred when we hear about some other one: “What a beautiful one!” – especially when men say it? Remember Katherine Mansfield's story A Cup of Tea (it's even in the school English textbook)? The rich girl Rosemary picked up on the street and sheltered the beggar Miss Smith. Rosemary's husband was not happy with his wife's idea and, when persuasion did not work, struck a blow that killed all charity. He said: “Darling, don't you think that Miss Smith is amazingly beautiful? ..” In less than half an hour, Miss Smith was gone and Rosemary quickly got rid of her.

At the same time, men cannot stand it if, in their presence, a woman says to another woman: “What a fat cow ...” - or some other “tenderness”.

In general, envy is a common thing among girls. Even the famous feminist Jermaine Greer agrees: “Women's envy is a natural reaction to our collective experience. Entire generations of women cared for others, forgetting about themselves - as a result, they suffer from emotional hunger. And it's hard for them to see those women who are lucky not to be deprived of attention. Hence the desire to criticize, belittle and slander.

The issue of beauty is particularly acute. Psychologist Marisa Pier, the author of many books for women, concluded from many years of observation that women evaluate each other mainly by external data, and not by professional success (for men, the opposite is true). Because of what the life of the beautiful is difficult. Israeli sociologists have noticed that it is more difficult for beauties to get a job, even despite several higher educations and an ideal professional reputation. The experiment was conducted on five thousand Israeli women who were looking for work. Each made a resume in three versions - on the first one she placed a photo of a beauty, on the second - an ugly girl, and the third one she sent without a photo. Most of the proposals received resumes without photos. In second place were unattractive. Almost no one called the beauties. Psychologists from personnel departments explained their behavior very simply: “When a woman adds a picture to her resume, it seems that she wants to play on her appearance. If a man does this, then, on the contrary, he emphasizes self-confidence, and this adds points to him.

In America, an employee was fired from a bank in Chicago with the motivation “your impressive forms distract employees from their duties,” despite the fact that no one doubted her professional suitability.

I, like everyone else, love stories from the life of stars, but nothing brings such pleasure as looking at paparazzi pictures that show the real position of the faces and bodies of these goddesses. Jennifer Lopez and Kim Kardashian appear to have short legs. Halle Berry has grown hair that doesn't suit her. Those who were lucky enough to see Monica Bellucci say that, of course, she is beautiful, but she didn’t succeed in height, her belly is very noticeable and her butt is heavy, and in general it is clear that she is a woman well over 40 ... To Sophia Loren or Catherine Deneuve I have no complaints. I am sweet and condescending to those who are over 60 years old. They have other interests, there is no competition between us. Samantha Brik says the same thing in her article - now that she has passed the 40-year mark, life has become easier for her, because women pay more attention to her age, and not to her appearance.

Of course, it is uncomfortable for me to catch myself that I do not like women - almost all of them. But, on the other hand, if it were not for female hostility towards each other, how many great films and books we would have missed! In my opinion, this hatred of ours is much more interesting, more action-packed than the love between us and men.

www.marieclaire.ru

If you were wondering Why don't girls like me?, then took half a step to success. Because I realized that in communication and relationships with girls, something is going wrong with you. In order to start liking girls, in this article you will find some interesting tips.

All guys want only one thing from girls, that's right - cool communication 😀 . The problem with most guys is that they don't know how to communicate. They don’t know how to communicate - they don’t like girls.

Someone easily finds a common language with anyone and feels free in any society. Such people are called "the soul of the company." Most guys in a big company feel extremely uncomfortable, and if there is also a girl! They act as if they took water in their mouths.

But you need to live. And to communicate with girls is not only useful, but also very pleasant and interesting. Tell me, why are you speechless, only being in the company of girls? The main reason is insecurity. Therefore, you need to fight it, and you can start at least with basic, but very effective things.

What to do to start liking girls?

#1 Smile more often! 🙂

You will say: “As much as possible the same thing: smile, smile, but I’m not in the mood and I don’t want to behave like a clown!” In fact, you are mistaken, a smile is a very effective thing. Smiling, you send as many as two messages to those around you: the first is “I like you”, the second is “No matter what they say, but I am still pleased with myself and confident in myself. I'm fine"

In addition, psychologists say it is a wonderful tool for overcoming depression. Because how can you smile and be upset at the same time? Just be cheerful and smile, and all your problems will gradually disappear as if by hand.

Learn to cheer yourself up on your own, listen to your favorite music, play some kind of sports game or just take a walk in the fresh air. I don’t remember who said it, but the quote is very appropriate: “If you are able to always smile at life, life will always smile at you.”

Make it a rule to engage in conversation with at least three strangers every day. First ask something or offer your help if you need it. "And why do I need it?" you ask. But why. First, you overcome your own constraint. Secondly, you learn to notice something interesting in others - this helps to get closer to people.

#2 Listening

How do you listen to the interlocutor? Are you really listening or are you waiting in line to put in your two cents?

Instead of thinking about what to say to the girl, pay attention to the fact that she herself is able to speak and express her thoughts. For example, you can on a topic that interests you and listen to the opinion of your interlocutor. In this case, she will talk much more than you. And it will be interesting for her to talk about the thing or situation that she likes. The ability to listen in this situation is a very important and useful skill. And when you know how to listen, you will be able to competently continue the conversation further.

#3 Tell me how you feel

What to do when a girl is as silent as you? Here you are sitting next to me and somehow it’s even awkward, even if you’ve sunk into the ground. Then just say so, what a stupid situation it turns out when you sit like that and play silently. This sincere confession will help release tension.

It is important to be able to be a sincere person. Don't be afraid to admit your awkwardness. For example, the beginning of an acquaintance: “Oh, girl, I'm sorry, I'm so embarrassed. I saw you and wanted to say "Hello!". This is not a space. If you do this with a smile (See the first paragraph!), It will immediately dispose to acquaintance. The girl will probably continue to communicate with you.

#4 When you are “not you”

Imagine yourself as a very sociable guy and try to behave accordingly. In fact, you are what you think of yourself, so immediately change your mind about yourself! Imagine your favorite actor and think about how he would lead in a similar situation. For example, I immediately remembered Hank Moody from the series Californication. In the film, he constantly communicates and seduces beautiful women. And he does it in a very charismatic way.

And finally, do not be afraid of funny and funny situations! The ability to laugh at yourself has always been appreciated.

Here are the top tips you can use if you're having a hard time communicating with girls at the moment. If you embody them in real life, you will no longer ask the question "Why don't girls like me?". Because you will bathe in their attention. Ladies love funny, successful and self-confident guys. Good luck!