Hello dear readers of the Samprosvetbyulletin blog!

“...if a man doesn’t want to communicate and date, what should I do? I always worry in such situations and think what’s wrong with me, my self-esteem drops. It’s especially offensive when you realize that a man is just your type and suits you very well. How to help yourself when you are rejected? How not to let go of control over the situation?” — writes Anna.

“We met on the website, talked for a long time every day, as if we had known each other for a long time. We agreed to meet, but just before the meeting he suddenly sent an SMS that his mother was ill and he needed to go to her urgently (he had already said before that she lived in another city). At first I thought that our meeting was only postponed for a while, but it turned out that it was forever. He disappeared for a week, then wrote that there were problems at work and he would have to work on the weekend. Then he stopped answering me. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be as upset as I am now, because he and I had a lot in common. But if a man doesn’t want to communicate and meet, what else can I do,” writes Claudia.

Rejection can be experienced as a painful experience. But what makes it painful is our own attitude, and not the refusal itself. The pain can get worse if you let it take over your thoughts.

When you are rejected, you may experience a feeling of helplessness, pain, and it seems to you that you are not in control of the situation, because the final decision and control was in the hands of the man. But I have good news for you! In a psychological sense, you are still in control of the situation. As an adult, you have the power to let rejection work for or against you. If you understand this, then you are not helpless.

If a man doesn't want to communicate, this is not a reason for disappointment

The disappointment caused by rejection is just a temporary feeling of bitterness, it is the psyche's way of telling you that it is time to regain your strength, fill yourself with energy.

We don't always realize that the man is rejecting the situation, not you. is not your failure, although it may make you feel like you have failed. The feeling of failure and failure that you experience may indicate that you have taken on too much responsibility for the situation. You ask yourself questions: what did I do wrong, what did I say wrong? Why doesn't a man see your compatibility with him? There are many reasons why a man rejected you, but in most cases they do not concern you personally.

Stop and think three times before you let a man give you a cold shower and make you feel inferior in some way. You don't know what's going on in his life right now. He may already be attached to someone, he may have health or financial problems, he may be planning to move to another place, he may be afraid of getting hurt, he may be unhappy with his job. Rejection is not a loss, although it may seem like it at the very beginning.

You just met a man and he was the one you thought you were looking for. And suddenly, to your surprise, he did not want to develop an acquaintance. Will you ever meet the right man again? There are millions of single men in the world; such opportunities are amazing, especially since the number of new acquaintances can now be increased using the Internet.

You met a man at a certain point in time. It was an opportunity that did not materialize. The man and the situation may not be as suitable as you imagine. If a man leaves, it means that he has made room next to you for new opportunities.

If a man doesn't want to date, it's not the end of the world

If a man has now stopped communicating with you, this does not mean that the end of the acquaintance has come. You can meet him again and he will look at you differently. Especially if it was possible to leave the door open. You never know what might come out of a new acquaintance: love, friendship or business contact.

There are women who always leave the door open, of course, until a man violates their moral principles. I would like to give, as an example, the case of Svetlana. Two years ago we discussed with her, who suddenly refused to continue communicating and meeting. Svetlana met him on Mamba. He seemed suitable to her in terms of education and social level; they lived in the same city, liked to visit the same places and had common views. The first two meetings went well, they talked nonstop, understood each other perfectly, and Svetlana had the feeling that she had finally found her soul mate. And suddenly, like a bolt from the blue, there was his SMS, saying that his circumstances in his life had changed and in the next few months he would be busy at work. He wrote that he hoped for her understanding and wished her to find what she was looking for. His unexpected change of mood greatly amazed Svetlana and she could not find a logical explanation for what happened. She was shocked and upset.

A year later, this man contacted her again and asked her out on a date. Svetlana was interested to see him again. At the meeting, he admitted that he was not ready for a relationship and was not as serious as she was, there were many problems at work and therefore he decided to “step aside.” Now things are going great for him and he wants to see her more often. Did Svetlana do the right thing by leaving the door open? It may have been the right decision for this particular situation. After all, a month after meeting again with a former acquaintance, she met his friend, whom she married a year later.

When you are worried or feel unsettled, try to find 10 positive points in what happened.

Positive aspects of refusal:

1. Rejection is only a delay that gives us the opportunity to take a break and choose a new direction and continue to move on.
2. Refusal can be our guardian angel.
3. Rejection may be an indicator of wrong timing, wrong path, and wrong situation for you.
4. Rejection can be fate, preventing an even worse experience than ending another acquaintance.
5. Rejection may mean that you have avoided a relationship with someone who is on a completely different wavelength in this life.
6. Rejection is an opportunity to reevaluate yourself and your life path: who you are and what you want.
7. Refusal is only a bridge to new opportunities.
8. Refusal can be immediate. In life, everything flows and changes, a man can change his mind at another time.
9. Rejection is just a signal at this moment in time that it’s time for you to move on.
10. Try to add this point yourself, based on your experience and share in the comments! You will help other women look at their problem from the outside.

Rejection is not a loss, although it may seem like it. You never stop being yourself and with every failure you become one step closer to success. The following parable will help you understand why rejection and failure can be a reason for gratitude.

Parable "Reason for Gratitude"

- I need money, can you borrow a hundred tomans? (currency in Iran), one man asked his friend.
- I have money, but I won’t give it to you. Be grateful to me for this!
The man said indignantly: “The fact that you have money and you don’t want to give it to me, at worst, I can still understand.” But the fact that I should be grateful to you for this is not only incomprehensible, it’s just arrogance.
- Dear friend, you asked me for money. I could say, "Come tomorrow." The next day I would say: “It’s a pity, but today I still can’t give them to you, come the day after tomorrow.” If you came to me again, I would say: “Come at the end of the week.” And so I would lead you by the nose until the end of time, or at least until someone else gave you money. But you wouldn’t have found something like this, because all you did was come to me and count on my money. Instead of all this, I honestly tell you that I will not give you money. Now you can try your luck somewhere else. So be grateful to me!

Good luck to you and see you soon on the pages of Samprosvetbyulleten!

There were 21 comments left on the post “If a man doesn’t want to communicate or date, it’s not the end of the world.”

My 10th positive point is changing your hairstyle and hair color. when a man didn’t want to meet me after several months of correspondence on a dating site, I was upset that I couldn’t look at myself. I went and dyed my hair and cut it. Then everyone told me that I had finally put myself in order

Several times in my life, men’s refusals to maintain relationships with me seemed like the end of the world to me at least... Over time (and not without your help, Yulia!) I realized that this was far from the case. We need to develop, live, and not waste time on those who do not want to spend it with us.

Thank you for the interesting articles!

good afternoon :) the guy left me unexpectedly, everything is fine in the morning, evening, we’ll say goodbye! I didn’t want to communicate, now we correspond with him, often, he is a cancer according to the horoscope. Can he come back and continue the relationship? Is it already over?

@Veronika: Thanks for the feedback. The article is true about the correct attitude towards a man’s refusal to continue dating.

Regarding love, the human psyche can give quite contradictory reactions; a person can love someone, but for some reason refuse the opportunity to be with his loved one. Is it possible. But this is a separate topic.

Good evening, Yulia! Eh... I read your article and, at first, my soul somehow immediately felt lighter. But suddenly I remembered one statement that absolutely refutes your point of view, namely:

“The sage was asked: “If a person loves, will he return?”

The sage replied: “If a person loves, he will not leave...”

That is, it turns out correctly, because if a man rejected a woman, then it means that he did not love her at all. Perhaps he only had sympathy for the woman, at most - infatuation, but not love.

Do you think I made the right decision?

I have such a problem, I was at a camp and met a guy there, I liked him, I asked his friend to ask if he liked me, he said yes, but at the camp there were girls who constantly came up and said that I love him, etc. they got him after that, he began to treat me differently than before, then he left, I admitted to him that I liked him, but he didn’t pay any attention to my words, he left, I went on social networks, I decided to offer to meet, he answered me that he He’s not sick, but he’s dating and he has a girlfriend, what should I do????

Oksana, thank you very much for Greg Brendt’s book. This is horror, of course, but true. Thanks to the author of the article for making it possible to read this book. For raising women's issues. Prosperity to your blog.

Hello!!! I need help in the same situation...

I met a guy on the Internet, added him as a friend. Handsome) I liked him! We talked, met by chance, but I was embarrassed by his height (he was a little shorter than me) and that was the only thing that stopped me. then he offered to meet, I refused, citing a recently ended relationship. he waited a week and offered to go for coffee. I agreed. I was happy with everything, I even began to like him even more, despite his height. then we talked on the Internet, by the weekend I called him myself and offered to meet. As it turned out, he was with friends and could not come, but then 15 minutes later he texted me to come out. It was nice that he came. That evening I was already as if subconsciously I understood that this is my man and I don’t care about his height. But here it turned out to be an awkward situation, so to speak, my incomprehensible whims or stupidity, I started to freak out that we were just standing there and not going anywhere (he didn’t come for in his car, but with friends) and after standing with him for 10 minutes, she went with her friend to drink coffee. he left offended! I called him 30 minutes later, he didn’t pick up and wrote all sorts of nonsense. the next day we corresponded on the Internet, I threw a tantrum as if he had left and wasn’t answering calls. he calmly tried to explain that he had gone home to sleep and that I had treated him badly yesterday... I was hysterical for a long time and in the end he deleted me and blocked me. He refused to talk in every possible way. After waiting a little, I wrote to him, but he didn’t answer. I tried to apologize for my behavior, everything was useless (the guy is Aquarius according to the horoscope. And I completely wanted to be with him, but it was already too late. He harbored resentment from my 2-week incomprehensible relationship and that’s all. Attempts to get him back are useless, if at first he answered now he doesn’t answer, doesn’t pick up the phone... but I’m drawn to him and I don’t know what to do next, I haven’t seen him for a month now and he ignores me, doesn’t even want to see me ((((help me get him back... I don’t have it, and when I lose it I cry...

• I think that hysteria is not very good; men don’t like it when they are bombarded with messages and calls too. you just need to leave it and if fate itself finds

After a relationship with a man, the book “Act like a woman, think like a man” helped a lot. I understand that I myself came up with a lot with him. Seeing what you want does not mean having it. And stop feeling sorry for men. Imagine he is a cat, and you are a mouse. A mouse who immediately the top of its paws is not interesting to the cat. He will pass by. And the mouse, which gives him the opportunity to hunt for it, is interesting to him. And one day he will run out of steam), and then the mouse can twitch the cat’s whiskers, manipulating him. Roughly? Yes. But that’s the only way!

Thanks for the article, it calmed me down at least a little. This is the first time I have come across such a case. I met him on a dating site. Everything was fine, communicated via Skype. Only I was always negative and pushed him away. I really liked him, but I wasn’t sure if he liked me, he said that he liked me, but for some reason I didn’t believe him. And after a week of communication, he suddenly stopped writing. On the last day I ran into him a little and wrote a lot. It feels like he didn't like it. He grew cold, answered questions with questions, changed the subject, said what was happening, etc. In the end, I wished him good luck. He has been silent for 6 days now and I am sure that he will not speak anymore. Girls, it’s hard to be rejected, I still can’t come to my senses even though we talked for 10 days. What did I learn and what lesson did I take from it? Let the man always have the initiative, never attack him, be a bitch, never say like me, “What if we don’t like each other in real life.” Communicate as if you are a rare diamond among ordinary stones. Never run into him or throw a tantrum, this makes their heart beat faster and they run away to a calm place. Smile when you communicate with him and do not immediately answer his calls and text messages. Their bitches need to be led by the nose. Good luck everyone.

A year ago something similar happened to me, a guy I met and talked to for a month, who said how much he liked me and everything else, unexpectedly for me, very cynically told me about his love, which he met at sea last year and after that they got lost and So he found her on VKontakte, and is planning a serious relationship with that girl, i.e. gave me a turnaround. To say that it was a cold shower would be an understatement... I had a very hard time with this situation for a whole year, perhaps because this guy really hooked me, but I subconsciously understood that this was not the person with whom I could build something, too he is rude, self-confident and cynical. But I was madly drawn to him.

You need to run headlong from such moral monsters; these are people offended by life who make others suffer for their failures. But the most important thing is that I found the strength to delete his number immediately, there was no communication, no calls or SMS from my side and from him too. I met him almost a year later... The first thing he told me was that he had no fiancée, he was lonely, and asked how was my personal life? I sweetly wished him good luck and said that such a “handsome man” simply cannot help but have a girlfriend, there are still a million young ladies in contact waiting for him, and I went my way...

Dear girls, I believe that there are good, worthy men, you need to separate the wheat from the chaff in time... I learned a very painful but life lesson for myself, my self-esteem has been greatly shaken, but I am confident. that everything will return to normal. The main thing is not to get angry at all the men in the world))) Good luck to everyone!

Probably everything that happens in our destiny is God’s idea! Probably everything that happens is as it should be! So that we learn to appreciate what we have... or not to be upset that we have lost... probably this is all calculated very accurately for the Universe! If it happened like this... then so be it! I accept the situation as it is! I wish you love and let you go... take care of yourself.........

I had a similar situation, exactly as described above! Only by SMS did the guy tell me that he was leaving me because we didn’t like each other, we had no prospects and he blocked me on VK. After his lengthy and detailed explanation of the reasons, I was a little upset and cried silently. I came to terms with the situation and... forgot about him for six months. And then I found his phone number and called to find out how he was living now. In general, we communicate again and meet sometimes. Rejection is a rest for both and time to comprehend situations and feelings. Don’t worry! Take advantage of the break for personal growth, new experiences and acquaintances! When just one door closes, hundreds of others open! Get the maximum benefit and experience from your “lunch break” for your beloved, only and precious self! This makes us wiser and more tolerant, smarter.

I have a family and children. My husband loves me, but I’ve grown cold... And then I fell in love. He lives in a civil marriage, has had a lot of women. He’s successful, handsome, with charisma. I’m also bright, sexy, I’ve been a man in stacks for as long as I can remember. There was an insane passion for him, but it was silent and hidden from everyone for six months. He suddenly fell ill: his kidneys failed. ...reanimation. As soon as I found out, I dropped everything and went to see him at a hospital in another city. I threw myself on his neck, dumped everything out... he was in shock, he immediately came to his senses)) but said LET’S LEAVE EVERYTHING AS IS. I’m with I left in tears. I started writing him whole poems in the attachments... at first I read it silently, then I wrote that NEITHER ME NOR MY WIFE LIKE YOUR LETTERS. I replied that she was just a live-in girlfriend, because he had been living with her for less than a year, she was rude, I was simply horribly humiliated and deleted the number. But a month later we met at work, I was still weak. I ignored both the greeting and the smiles, I behaved proudly and confidently. I lost 15 kg, had my lips filled in, permanent makeup...men ate me with my eyes ...At night I cried, my husband found my diary, we had a conversation. She said, if you can, hold it, I’ll call you and I’ll leave. Another 2 months later we met at an event, hugged, kissed on the cheek, I’m in shock. Smiles, cares, communicates. We correspond dryly , only for work. I’m already cooling down, I feel that he is completely different in life than I imagined... But I calmed down that he turned around... I think this is not the end, I decided that I just want to sleep with him, break him and live on. It will be so. Only he has no health at all, he is on dialysis... I am 41, he is 49. They play such games even at that age! Love and value yourself, girls!

You know, there is a situation going on in my life right now. We met a guy. We took a walk. The relationship did not last long in terms of intimacy. And after a while he tells me that nothing will work out. By that time I already had feelings for him. He suggested that I just communicate as friends. I immediately said no. Well, judge for yourself what communication can be like after not even a long relationship. As a result, we just talked to him for half a year. Half a year later I find out that he has a girlfriend. I immediately told him that there would be no communication, that I had feelings for him, they did not go away, I wished him happiness with this girl, turned around and left. 1.5 weeks of silence passed. He was the first to write and ask how you were doing. I answered him. And she asked with a hint whether he had forgotten what we agreed on. Well, so as not to communicate anymore. He replied that he didn’t remember this. Either I’m a fool and don’t understand something, or he’s a fool.

What do I want to say! After reading the article and all the comments.

I had all sorts of men and situations with them. If they had told me when I was 10 years old about what awaited me, I would have come to what I came to sooner. As someone correctly wrote in the comments above, such bitches need to be led by the nose. At one time, I heard enough stories from girlfriends (oh, those stories, you know) about how some friend of a friend took the first step, offered to date her, and so on. And now they are already married, happy together. Apparently, I decided to act in a similar way. Well, I’m an Aries, and I’m brave and not afraid to hear the truth face to face! Especially when you like him, but nothing happens and then you are overcome with SOMETHING TO DO NOW. Because there is no strength to wait any longer. The last time I got burned like this was YESTERDAY! I couldn’t stand it, I couldn’t wait, I wrote that I wanted more than just communication. Well, what about him? How do you think? I heard what I already understood deep down. They gave me a turnaround in the form of the words: “Yes, I like you as a girl, but I don’t see our future together, why can’t we leave everything as it is?” I won’t say that my self-esteem immediately dropped to the floor, because this is not the first time I have gone through such a school of life and thank God life teaches me something. For example, don’t assume that there’s something wrong with you and that you’re some kind of freak or a loser. Moreover, there are a lot of men staring at me on the street and there are also advances, they are just not the ones I would like to be with. I remembered how a guy ran after me a couple of years ago, similar to this man who kicked me yesterday, and how I was not interested in him. Somewhere inside of me it’s already dawning on me that it’s my behavior that’s the problem. Just as I am not interested in those with whom everything is clear, I am not interested in him. He saw that there was no future, realizing this after almost 5 minutes of communication. Why then did you write to me and call me a week after leaving, hugging me?! The words of a friend were very sobering: “Well, he wrote for some reason, that he had no one to write to or something.” And then I realized that I had rejected myself, putting the person before an ultimatum: either this way or not at all. You never know what's in his head. In general, I’ll tell you in real life, men lie all the time. As we are. It's a game of all genders. Today he will tell you that he does not want to get married, and in a month you will already see wedding photos on his VK with someone else. And the point here is not that we are not like that, but they just need to be repeated “to lead such bitches by the nose.” Well, they are designed like this, well. Hunters, damn males.

Now I personally have decided that I want to work on my self-realization. I want to reconsider my social circle, lifestyle, behavior pattern. I actually consider myself a very worthy girl: higher education in one of the best universities in the country, in my last year I won an internship abroad, worked abroad a couple of times, completely changed my profession to the one I dreamed of, I earn her the money I can allow your mother to make repairs, for example, to her apartment, and 101 more reasons to respect yourself, and not waste your energy on another guy. There will still be plenty of them, and what is it, I will “offend” myself every time, cry, reproach myself because of every idiot? Pffft, now that I said it, wrote it, spoke it, it all became more obvious to me. Self-confidence is the only thing that I and many of us who have been in a similar situation lack. But there is a way out: it can be treated!

So, girls, remember that there will be many more of these men on your way. And even if you find it, it won’t end there! My extensive experience has shown that the struggle of the sexes does not end even after the ring on the finger, and the male instinct works for them until old age: there will be infidelity, jealousy, and possibly divorce. And here, we must understand that our future all depends only on us, our attitude and the resulting model of behavior and actions, which influence their attitude towards us. So here you need to start with yourself, your beloved, with a reassessment of yourself and your life.

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If you are not a complete alarmist, then a week or two without sex will not bother you much.

You never know what happens to people: stress, poor health, troubles at work. But if the situation drags on, and you have to beg your husband for warmth and affection in your own bed for months, then it’s time to ring the bells. Not very loudly, of course: the piercing howl of a siren will scare away the last fluids in the soul and body of a man, even if they still remained.

So, we need to decide on the level of hopelessness of the problem. There are only two of them: the end of a relationship and a break, giving a respite and a chance for a new outbreak. In any of these cases, most of the useful tips in this article will turn out to be universal: both options require not to lose shape, self-esteem and respect from the partner, even if his desire is lost forever.

What's the first thing to do when a husband doesn't want a wife?

To start stop the hysteria. Panic attacks, scenes of jealousy, angry choking and other accompaniments of such situations are normal and standard occurrences. Even for those ladies whom others consider to have cold reptilian blood, and their husbands consider frigid statues, similar periods are painful and painful. There is always a place for wounded pride, if not love.

So do breathing exercises, count to ten, buy some rags, get drunk with a friend and cry into her shoulder, in the end. Just don’t torment your man with ugly scenes, losing your face in his eyes and the remnants of warm friendly, if not sexual, relationships.

A rare exception: if your husband is a pathological masochist or a very peculiar extreme person, then a little thrashing may stir up old desires. But here you need to be very careful: these games are not to everyone’s liking, and two or three random “reconciliations” will slightly correct the weather in the house, but the general climate will remain the same.

So, you are outwardly calm and ready to reason, plan and correct the situation. Your heart beats steady or almost steady. The fight for your husband begins!

What to do with yourself if your husband doesn’t want you as a woman?

Why doesn't a husband want a wife?

The main reasons for the cooling of sexual fervor

Parental worries

If you are a young mother, then the lack of intimacy is an easily explainable thing. A beloved but restless baby requires all your attention, and when the tired breadwinner comes home, then his father’s too. Physical and moral strength is running out, and the bed evokes associations only with sound sleep. If you don’t have a separate nursery, then the new father, who is unaccustomed to a small roommate, may become completely withdrawn. He already has in his arsenal a baby whining at the most inopportune moment, a wife dying of fatigue, who, moreover, does not have time to take care of herself, and, God forbid, a mother-in-law or mother behind a thin wall. In such a situation, the main thing is to survive, and there is no time for libido.

Such cases are by no means hopeless if your husband is not of that nasty breed who may stop loving you because you have gained weight after childbirth or the shape of, say, your breasts has changed. Unfortunately, there are quite a lot of such complete egoists. And, no matter how painful it may be for you to lose such a husband, his loss will be your step towards a normal life.

But let's be optimistic: although your husband doesn't want his wife, he loves her. Ask your mother, mother-in-law, neighbor, friend or nanny to take the baby to your place at least for the evening. Use this time wisely: take a fragrant bath, clean yourself up, light candles and order dinner from a restaurant if you haven’t had time to prepare anything edible. Seduce your husband like a movie femme fatale. He will probably be so stunned by surprise that your victory should be easy.

Husband doesn’t want his wife: stress, problems, overwork

It often happens that a husband would like a wife, but cannot: constant fatigue after work, work stress and various similar problems. In most cases, the culprit in this situation is work. In this case, the husband is physically and mentally exhausted. There is an unbearable burden of worries on his shoulders, his bosses are sitting on his head, his car’s engine is acting up. Moreover, my idiot son brought home three D's in math - and why is he so stupid!

Most likely, he will withdraw into himself and would prefer to spend any free minute alone - at the computer or with a book in his hands, rather than in bed with his wife. Because in this state, the thought of sex is associated with another frightening responsibility - this time a marital one.

Seduce this man again, since you already succeeded in this. Since he is still benevolent, respectful and affectionate with you, and after work he drags his mortal body home, perhaps all is not lost to you?

The husband has stopped loving or simply does not want his wife

This problem is much more complicated than the previous ones: the husband does not want his wife due to the loss of attraction to her as a woman.

If he is simply sad, bored, tired of your identical everyday life, your home “outfit” in striped socks and a faded robe, then positive changes can be achieved simply by changing the scenery. Then your favorite stretched robe from your great-grandmother’s time will go to the closet or the trash bin, the socks will take their rightful place in the chest of drawers, and they will be replaced by a glossy peignon or a knitted tight trouser suit.

And don't forget to get rid of that hellishly sloppy ponytail that's nesting on your head at home! There's nothing sexy about it, so you'll have to sacrifice convenience.

He sees what you look like when you go to work: well-groomed and attractive, in the best clothes. Is he, the husband, really unworthy of even a shadow of that beauty that passers-by and employees see?

This case of male reluctance smoothly flows into another: you are so different at home and in public that the dearest man in the world simply does not understand why and for whom there is such a carnival if you have to be alone with Baba Yaga. And you relaxed, decided that he loves you and that’s it, you don’t have to try.

This myth was inspired by novels and TV series: love and desire must be fed, provoked into outbursts, constantly stroked on the head and given nectar. Perhaps then it will take root and bloom wildly according to all the known patterns deduced by old man Freud.

Sexual apathy: the husband organically does not want his wife

He treats his wife extremely warmly, as a dear and close person, but does not consider him as a sexual object. Anything can happen: friendship, understanding, agreement, but not attraction. It may even happen that just the thought of sex with his wife-friend will cause hostility in a man. It is impossible to predict which path your relationship will take in such a situation. It all depends on whether you are ready, like Assol, to wait for scarlet sails on a sea where there are no ships? Are you patient enough to hope for success in a situation where your husband doesn't want you, and most likely won't want you anymore?

Husband doesn't want wife because of his rival

Sex without love is devastating. This is unanimously stated by many psychologists. If your husband no longer wants you, then perhaps he just fell in love. And it’s not even that he has enough sex on the side, it’s just that the object of his languid sighs and serenades at the moment is another woman. You remember how proud you were of his ardent glances, directed only at you.

Don't look for a meeting with your opponent, don't try to determine who is better. This will deprive you of your last strength, already undermined by long sexual hunger.

The solution to this situation also depends on your willingness to wait and forgive.

The husband's infatuation may pass. Romance - evaporate. The flow of life is to return to the old channel.

Many real cases confirm this: husbands returned to bed with their wives after the most dizzying affairs. They returned, cooling down after an affair, and stayed in that bed forever, having “feasted” their passion, experience, and variety of impressions “on the side.”

And the spouses who knew how to wait again received devoted and sexually strong macho men, ready for exploits on the sexual front.

The husband does not want his wife because he cannot want her...

Not every husband admits to an illness of this nature to himself, much less to you. These circumstances force men to withdraw into themselves much more than in the first cases. After all, here He, still young and strong, feels like a flawed, crippled, inferior man. He is driven into a corner and “rewarded” with severe depression by the inability to get aroused at all: neither from your erotic lingerie, nor from watching explicit videos, nor from taking magic pills.

Diseases that affect the sexual function of men are divided into two groups: general and special.

Special - diseases of the reproductive system that directly affect male sexual performance.

General - other ailments that dull intimate desires due to pain and discomfort.

Fortunately, 21st century medicine can solve many problems. And this case just falls into the category of options when you can apply pressure and present some kind of ultimatum of moderate severity. After all, we are talking not so much about sexual bliss as about the health or even the life of your soulmate.

What needs to be done in all scenarios without exception? In the worst case, you will simply improve your appearance and not lose self-esteem; in the best case, you will return everything to normal.

1. Think carefully about your course of action and possible risks. Forcing your husband or under torture to find out from him the reasons for his reluctance is a dead end. Throwing hysterics is useless; making threats is even worse.

2. Calmly and thoroughly have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband.

3. If in his explanations you see the outlines of any of the situations described, act according to our advice.

4. Regardless of the results of the “interrogation,” take care of yourself. Remember the last time you visited a hairdresser, massage therapist, or cosmetologist. Join a gym or just start jogging in the morning - maybe even with your spouse.

5. Try to penetrate his world without signs of mental violence: go fishing or paintball together, yell together at a football stadium or hippodrome. Probably, the husband is simply lonely and does not want to sleep with a strange woman who does not understand his tastes.

6. Add tenderness and romance to your life. Diversify your weekend and don’t overload your already difficult modern everyday life with responsibilities. Romantic evenings, surprises and relaxing holidays will help melt not only his heart, but also some of the functions of the male body you are looking for.

7. Tell your husband about your naughty fantasies. Sometimes curiosity can overcome even resentment, not to mention boredom and despondency. Role-playing games within the tastes of two loving spouses would be condemned only by the last prude.

8. Feel welcome. In the end, convince yourself of this - such impudence can become contagious!

The husband does not want a wife, but he will definitely want it

Being a desirable woman is a great science. At all times, women who traded desire at a high level were required to receive an education, master the art of dance, music, and special grace. Japanese geishas and French courtesans constantly took care of their facial and body skin, silky hair and soft hands, pursuing one single goal - to please men.

The ability to charm and seduce your man again and again, even imitating such seemingly unworthy persons, is truly a huge job. But the result of such work is worth the effort, isn’t it?

Good day! My name is Victoria, I’m 18. Half a year ago I met a young man at a club. He is 24 years old. Also a dancer. (I have been dancing professionally since I was 4 years old). From the first moment it was incredibly interesting to communicate with him, there was that “common wave”, both were sick of dancing...
I didn't mean to fall in love at all...

He offered to meet - she agreed. I changed guys like gloves. Dating is a normal thing for me. And then I just fell ill with this man... After a little time, he said that he liked me, but because of his great aspirations, he might not have time for a relationship, saying he couldn’t give me what I wanted - attention. Left the choice up to me. She asked me not to leave.

That same evening he took me to his place, but I was not in the mood for intimacy so quickly. We were supposed to meet the next day, but he didn’t call. She took the initiative herself... we met, I already said otherwise. The essence is the same - we can’t be together... And it’s like I was hit on the head with something heavy, I kiss him, I don’t believe what he says, all I can think in my head is “what kind of nonsense are you talking about? Everything will be fine!" ..and my blind stubbornness..

Night. Let's go to my place. My knees are shaking. Despite what was said, we were together that night. After everything, he said “you will find your prince again” - I wanted to hit me for such words.

Afterwards, he continued to write as if nothing had happened. I'm confused...who am I to him? But I don’t want to admit to myself that I used it. I decided to dot all the i’s. She said either stay or leave. He didn’t give an answer all evening, we went shopping, sat in a cafe, danced in front of everyone... so crazy as always).. when it was time to say goodbye, he said “I’m sorry, I can’t.” She turned around and left.

Then we got together, slept, and separated again. I couldn’t hold back, I wrote again. “I can’t bring myself to fall in love with you” are his words. Understand. And I can no longer force myself to stop loving.

And when everything seemed to work out again... we had an amazing time... we had a good time together... not just me and him (He spoke.) When everything got better, he wrote that he was leaving for Moscow forever - to finish his studies, to develop. As always with your heavenly plans. "I'm fine with you, but you stay here." But he didn’t even invite me with him... And St. Petersburg - Moscow is not so far away... if there was a desire to see each other.

A month has passed since he left... I’m trying to live, to smile, I’m pulling myself out by the scruff of the neck, forcing him. we need to move on. I dreamed of a big stage - forward, I dreamed of moving out of my parents' house - forward... a lot of things. And I know that I am strong... But he is the only person I didn’t want to leave. Maybe because he is the first man and I can’t imagine myself in bed with another..

In general, I’m broken, I’m holding on, I’m smiling, but there’s an open wound inside... He continued to write and ask how you were doing.. Why??? It only became more painful. Added to the blacklist. I don't write to him anymore.

It's hard to hold on. After all, He abandoned me.. Tell me how to switch? What to do? How to set yourself up to move forward?
The guys follow me like a herd, there’s no end to it. But I’m not interested in them... He’s in my head.

Here, I wrote another poem. (I've never written before)
It's much easier to say sorry
Before thinking about words.
To leave completely.. it’s also easier,
'Cause you won't let me stay
In your arms.

You won't hear, you won't understand,
That pain that creeps in like poison.
You can't get back what was
And I just wanted to be nearby.
Without unnecessary words, without words at all.
There is no truth in them, and there never will be.
Only time will all that nonsense melt away,
That blinded the eyes and robbed the soul.

But I remember your smile and eyes,
And by the hand when you drive a car...
And there is silence on the lips, fear in the knees,
The carelessness of a morning that won't happen.
There will be no tomorrow, and then you lick your wounds,
Like a cat looking for light in other eyes,
Already looking carefully...

Probably once carried away by the wind,
The time that turns out to be a cure
Taking myself back to the past with a smile,
Without hiding a grudge, looking into your eyes without regret,
I’ll just say a short word: Thank you.

I'll be looking forward to your answer. Thank you in advance.)

You love, but they are ready to leave you, but before they wanted to be with you.
Is it worth going stubbornly forward despite this? Can true love be so complicated?

We met at the end of last year. It happened at the resort. I know - the first reaction is that since this is a resort, then the relationship will be limited to only a resort romance. But something more happened. It is important to note that I was attracted to him by the uncharacteristic behavior of a 29-year-old guy on an all-inclusive holiday with a friend. Attentive, polite, kind, modest. But I was especially struck by the initial sincerity... After all, usually, when we meet, we try to seem different from who we truly are. We often pretend to be successful, irresistible, and sometimes pretentious... It’s rare that any of us can relate to the person we’ve just introduced without all this pretense, and even sincerely good-naturedly. So, he was just like that. We spent all three days that remained before I returned home together. It was like a unity of souls, despite the fact that we knew little about each other.
After I left, he still had a few days left at the resort. He called me regularly from there. Our communication continued after he returned home. We wanted to see each other again. The only problem was the long distance separating our cities in Russia. I live in the Southern region, it is in the Urals. I must say that while still on vacation, he repeated that he would come to me. But everything turned out exactly the opposite. Time was approaching the New Year, and holidays were ahead. “When if not at this time?” - I thought and decided to tell him about my desire to visit. He was happy! The flight was quite expensive, considering that there was no other way except through Moscow.. But this did not become a problem for us. He paid for my flight, and I stayed with him because... he himself lived alone in an apartment. What a time it was!!! Happiness!!!
Returning to my home, I thought what would happen next? And so, despite his timidity, he said that he wanted me to be with him. Everything seemed great. I wanted this too. We decided to discuss everything as soon as he came to me. This should have happened in February... But his work didn't allow it. March - and again no... Our communication on Skype and phone turned into horror... Nerves, complaints and resentment on my part, disappointment and resentment on his part.
It would take a very long time to describe all the subtleties, the fact was that I couldn’t come up with anything better than to manipulate and declare that if this is so, since he cannot come to me, since everything has dragged on and he cannot say anything, then I stop all communication . I must say that even before March, when he was unable to come in February, I, of course, began to be offended and sometimes not behave in the best way. What captivated me was that, despite this, he called me and said that I was his close person, that everything was surmountable, that he couldn’t help but know how I was doing. So, counting on the effect of proving his feelings for me, at the end of March I announced that I was stopping communication with him. He called a couple of times, I didn’t answer the phone and then everything went quiet.
Less than a month passed before I realized how important this person was to me. I didn’t want to lose him because of something seemingly so absurd. I made up my mind and wrote him an email. mail. The letter was very sincere. But nothing from him... Then I called him at work for the first time. He seemed pleased with my call and promised to call me back in the evening. In the evening he sent me an SMS that he would call me the next day. But this did not happen. His brother was somewhat aware of our relationship, and sometimes communicated with me through social media. net. He always expressed a great desire for us to be together. So his brother then told me an unpleasant thing - it turns out that the person dear to me simply did not believe all the words that were spoken and written by me...
I decided to take a desperate step. I took a plane ticket and came to see him... His brother met me at the airport and brought me to him. Of course, there was a slight shock, but he let me in. During those three days that I was able to be with him, I tried my best to show how much I needed him, that I sincerely regret what happened. Again it seemed to me that he was happy. It was very difficult to get him to have a frank conversation. And now things started to work out a little. "Do you need me?" “I need it, but...” On the day of departure, he accompanied me to the airport. And there, I decided to say that I love him.
Upon his return, he called me, but rarely... he said, “I don’t know if I should call you.” There was a feeling that he was afraid to trust. And at one fine moment, when it seemed that everything was going well, he stopped calling. Then, I found out that he was on vacation (I heard about this when I visited him for the second time). But he did not consider it necessary to tell me about this. He couldn't even end the relationship. Although he knew that I was very worried.. Soon I had a vacation. In front of him, I decided to write to him again, not calling for anything, but simply describing the fact of our relationship.
He once told me that there is so little sincerity and love in the world that if you find it, then you need to appreciate such things. And here we get a kind of contradiction.
I know that perhaps I will never get to the real reason, but I really want to know why this happened?..
I love this man. There is no need to dissemble, the way he treated me aroused resentment and anger in me. But I'm dealing with it. The thought haunts me... if a person does this, then there is no talk of real love. If you are needed, they won’t just let you go, right?
It’s a shame, of course, that after such a demonstrative act, this happened. How many people cross Russia up and down to talk about their feelings? Don't think..
There are some more facts. Perhaps they will play a role in understanding the situation as a whole. He is a wonderful person, but his problem is that he never had to take responsibility. Everything he has (apartment, car, workplace) comes from his parents, even from his mother. But despite this, he is very hardworking. He doesn’t like alcohol, and a “riotous lifestyle” doesn’t appeal to him at all.
So what’s the big deal here?... Why does he give up on me so easily?.. Is it worth finding the strength (moral, mostly) to prove love to him again.

Hello everyone! I’m very glad that such sites exist, and that I decided to ask someone for help. I’ll tell you a little about myself. I am 22 years old, I am very pretty, sweet and kind. I have never been deprived of male attention, and now it’s the same, I can write to anyone I want and can easily get a first date. I am not empty-handed, I have a very kind, open and sympathetic soul .I have an anonymous website on which 13 thousand questions have been generated in a year, people turn to me for advice and help in any area of ​​life and I help many with words, people are grateful to me, since my advice really gives people the right answers and motivation to actions. I am very wise for being 22, because a lot of bad things happened in life, after which I began to appreciate everything in life and see the world with some kind of pain in my heart and special sensuality. All men in communication with me admit that I’m a very smart girl, I see the world correctly. BUT... As soon as I start some kind of relationship, it ends abruptly. One after another. I go on dates often, after talking in a cafe I understand whether I want a further relationship or not. When I understand whatever I want, I completely switch to this person. I treat him with all my heart, I give gifts from the heart on holidays (in terms of the fact that I like to do something nice for people), the joy in my soul finally knows no bounds, that this is the person with whom I would I was glad to build strong relationships and start a family. But after a month or two, everyone starts to give up, freezes and disappears altogether. I analyzed, maybe this is all because you can’t show your soul to a person so quickly and treat him like family. But here’s the problem... I CAN’T do it any other way... I’m so sincere and good. And everyone hurts me without explaining leaving me... Will it really always be like this? Because 5 people have already done this to me... They all come back , they want communication, and they say that they were wrong, but this does not make me feel any better. I used to think that these were simply not my people, but when the other day history repeated itself... I began to think that it would always be like this, that my kindness would not be of any use to anyone needed. That I somehow behave incorrectly with men... But I can’t do it any other way; (Maybe you have an image of such a very good, calm and quiet girl, and you think that I’m boring for them))) But this is not so, I always the life of the party, I am very humorous, ambitious, charismatic, I have a lot of envious women... But this is all down to one place, when I plunge into a man with my head... how to get rid of this? It harms me very much, I will push everyone away... Advice to everyone I can give it my strength, I just can’t cope with myself... What do you think? I'll be happy to listen to everyone